I was now staring at my fiancée wondering how I ended up this lucky after thinking my whole life was cursed just a few months ago. I haven't seen Carter since she sent me the text message at the proposal dinner in August and it was now November.

"Why are you staring at me?" Kwashie asked me. We were at her parents house in the den playing video games as we usually did on a Saturday afternoon.

"It's just.. just that.. have I ever told you that you are my favorite person?" I asked.

"No but I wouldn't be surprised if I was, I am me after all." She smiled.

"Yeah whatever," I rolled my eyes and focused on the game.

She paused the game and looked over at me. I looked down to avoid her gaze and stared at the beautiful ring on my finger. I never wanted to take it off and I never wanted to be away from this girl.

"What is it?" She asked me.

"I don't know.. I just feel so much in this short span of time.. it's crazy.." I said.

"Time doesn't matter, I've told you that countless amount of times. You shouldn't use the length of the time we've been together to measure your feelings." Kwashie lifted my hand and brought it to her lips.

"Why are you so poetic? Goddammit, it hurts." I said using my free hand to hold my chest.

"Tell me where it hurts and I'll kiss it," she said.

"My vagina," I whispered.

"What??" She asked.

"Uhm.. nothing.. I said my windpipe.. yeah windpipe." I chuckled nervously.

"Then I'll kiss it for you." She was closing in on me and I panicked.

I grabbed my hand from her grasp and slapped her on the leg. She jumped from the pain and let out a small scream.

"What was that for?" She asked rubbing her leg.

"I thought I saw a... a bug." I stuttered trying to come up with an excuse.

She rolled her eyes and got up walking away from the couch. She told me to follow her so I got up and silently walked behind her, following her out onto a balcony. She told me to sit down and wait for her. I started to think about CJ and what the text could've possibly meant. What kind of information could she have possibly gotten that would make her postpone school to utilize it, that was slightly stupid and unexpected of her. Maybe thinking about her wasn't the best idea because my phone buzzed alive and I took it up seeing a notification from her. It was an iMessage.

Carter Jones 💔: I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed and sung me moonstruck, kissed me quite insane yet still I think I made you up inside my head 🥀

The gods might just have cursed me but Kwashie felt more like a blessing. I wasn't going to respond, I had made up my mind to leave her alone. She couldn't be in my life right now, she couldn't coexist with my Kwashie.

My Kwashie...

I heard footsteps against the tiles so I locked my phone and rested it on the glass table that sat between the two chairs. She came into my view and sat beside me. She rested a tray on the table between us and I caught my phone before it fell, she gave me an apologetic look. I slid the phone into my pocket and took up the glass pitcher pouring some juice into one of the cups. There were two bowls of fries and squeeze bottles with mayonnaise and ketchup.

"Where's the pepper?" I asked.

She moved the pitcher and took up the packet of pepper that I didn't see. I grabbed it and thanked her.

"You made fries in less than 10 minutes?" I asked.

"No, mama made these before she left. They were sitting in the oven, they're hot so be careful." She answered.

We talked for awhile about future plans. We wanted to get a house far from our parents and maybe on the hills where it would be quiet and people would hardly bother us. We also needed to get jobs that could maintain the house, our parents would definitely put together and buy the house for us but I think we'd actually want to be independent too. I wanted to go back to school even though I hated it, I wanted to be able to get a degree and land a secure job.

"What do you want to be? What would be your major?" She asked me.

"Journalism with creative writing as a minor. How about you?" I looked over at her. Her plate still had fries and mine was almost empty.

"Something related to sports," she said. I remembered her telling me that she used to play different sports back home.

"Which sport is your favorite?" I asked.

"Football.." her eyes lit up.

"Boooooyyy how your favorite sport football but you can't beat me in FIFA??" I was laughing and slapping my knees.

"Shut up," She rolled her eyes at me but it only made me laugh more.

"I bet you cannot even score one goal on an actual field." She smirked.

"I see you love to challenge me," I gave her a side eye.

"I see you love bets," she shot back. Oh? So it's like that.

"Let's bet then.." I smirked.

"You lost the last bet." She laughed.

"Focus on the present chief," I snapped my fingers.

"What do you have to lose?" I asked her.

"Nothing." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Too bad, I only fuck with players who have shit to lose." I said.

"What do you have to lose?" She asked me.

"That's easy, money." It was the truth. It was all I had to lose because Richard made sure I had an abundance of it.

I stretched over to take fries from her plate but she slapped my hand.

"Can't I have some of your fries?" I pouted.

"We got the same amount bro." She pointed out.

"So?" She rolled her eyes at me and continued the previous conversation.

"But I don't want your money, so think of something else." She said to me.

"What do you have to lose?" I asked her again.

"You." She answered.

I didn't answer so she continued.

"If you lose you have to completely cut Carter Jones off, I know she texts you and I know you respond sometimes. I do not like it and I think it is fair that you stop talking to her." She said.

"And if I win?" I asked.

"Then you can continue talking to her, I will put my emotions aside and allow you to speak to the love of your life." Her voice sounded sad. I wanted to say something but nothing came out.

"I told you before Zidania, I told you that you will never stop loving her and I do not expect you to but what I also do not expect is you courting her knowing that we are together. Why did you agree to be with me if you did not plan to give her up?" She asked me.

"I.. I .." I stuttered.

"Why?" She rose her voice.

"I didn't ask for all of this okay??" I shot back at her.

"I didn't ask for my stupid parents to sign any documents that signed my life away, I didn't ask to be here." I was getting emotional and I wasn't focusing on the main picture.

"Then why did you agree to be my girlfriend?" She asked.

"Because..." I started.

"Don't answer that," she waved her hand.

We both sat silently looking at the evening sun. It cascaded from the heavens above and I wondered what it would feel like for everything to just start feeling right. It felt right with Kwashie around but I couldn't keep my emotions in check and always ended up hurting her feelings.

"I cannot love you in pen while your love is in pencil." She broke the silence.

Sometimes I wished she would talk straight, I wished my mind wouldn't skip into overdrive trying to analyze everything she says.

"Forgive me if I make you everything, I do not know how to love in halves." Her words were gentle.

"Kwashie, I don't talk to CJ. She messages me but I don't respond, I read them because she is planning something and I hope it reveals itself in the messages she sends." I gave her the truth, she deserves it.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean to hurt you with my words. My mind is in an emotional turmoil and you're there for me every step of the way but I am homesick for a place I am not sure exists, where my heart is full, my body is loved and my soul understood." I said.

"When I told you that your days and nights will be filled with me, I meant every word. I meant that I'll be here for you through it all." She said.

I looked over at her just in time to see the sun kiss her features. Her dark brown eyes were deep enough for me to drown in, my breath hitched at the back of my throat and I felt a certain emotion wash over me. I couldn't turn my gaze away from the depth of her eyes, I was dumbfounded at the beauty and wisdom that they held. Nothing else mattered in this current second, it was only us. As always, Kwashie read the emotions in my eyes before they got to my lips. She was in front of me the next instant holding my hands up to her chest.

"Let me taste your sadness, show me your wild jealousy and let me run and fly and breath. I want all of your pretty moments and your angry moments too. If you want the broken in me, then give me every dark little secret in you. You can push me away with your laws of the land and the sea but I'll never be satisfied so you're going to need to give all of you to me." She said. I felt the tears on my cheeks.

"Why do you do this to me? Why do you make me feel this way?" I asked.

"Because I could sing a million telltales and I could recite a hundred poetry from poets far and wide yet still they'd never amount to the beauty you hold inside. I want you Zidania, not just the pieces of you that you love but the pieces that you hate as well and I'll love them for you in all of their imperfect glory and I'll worship you like the shrine that you are." She brought my hands up to her lips and placed a soft kiss on my knuckles.

"You're perfect," I said to her.

"I am not, my love. I am the furthest thing from, I have my darkness and I have my demons and all I ask is for you to love those parts of me as well." She said.

"You are absolutely terrifying, not because you are bad but because you are beautiful. You are love and you are goodness, people will run from your open arms but I won't. I thought I was in love with Carter but you were right, I was only using her to feel better about myself and I know now that what I am feeling is genuine and you're the cause of it." I pulled her in for a hug. I held her close to me and I let the tears flow from my eyes and onto her shirt.

"Remember when I told you that I not only want your hand in marriage but your heart as well?" She asked me and I nodded.

"I confess, what I feel for you is more than I let on. It wasn't hard falling for you over these past few months but I kept it to myself because you weren't ready for it and I wasn't going to pour myself into hands that couldn't hold me." Her own tears were now marring her beautiful dark skin and I wanted to fight myself for making those tears spill, for making her sad.

"I hope you don't feel that way anymore," I said to her.

"Why do you choose me over Carter Jones?" She asked me.

"That's easy, it's you because no one else makes sense. Please always choose me because I'll always choose you," I held onto her face with both hands staring into her eyes. Those eyes that I have come to love.

"I hope it is freedom you feel from loving me, I hope it is home you find." She says.

"I've never understood what they meant by home being two eyes and a heartbeat but looking at you now, I think I understand it more deeply that I ever could." I whispered.

She smiled and I reciprocated that same smile. My heart felt happy, I never felt this way with CJ. We've not had sex as yet but I feel like she already has my body. I fell in love with her mind before I touched her body and this feels more real than anything else I have ever felt.

"Penny for your thoughts, my love?" She asked.

"Show me the penny first," she never expected me to say that but she quickly started feeling her pockets for coins.

"Unfortunately darling, I have no monetary compensation for your thoughts." She smiled softly.

"Why are you so sweet? Why are you so gentle with me?" I asked her.

"It's the only way I know how to love you." She answered.

"I feel like fainting every time you say sweet words to me," I said.

"Does it make your heart skip a beat?" She asked me.

"Yes.."

"Then I will stop." She smiled.

"No..."

"Why not? I want my wife to have a healthy heart, a constantly beating one." She laughed.

"You know it's not like that," I smiled.

She leaned forward and our lips connected. This felt like heaven, or maybe it was something better I wasn't sure but all I knew was that I could kiss her forever and my lips would never dry. It was like the first time every time. I felt the rising anticipation before our lips met and then I felt those fireworks set off in my stomach.

"I tell you na, every time we kiss I feel like a brand new person," she shook herself as if she was shivering from the cold and I laughed.

"Have I ever told you that you are my favorite person?" I asked her.

"In the whole wide world?" She asked.

"Yes, in the whole wide world and multiverse too." I said.

"Then no, you only said I was your favorite person not favorite person in the whole wide world." She smiled.

"You know what I mean," I rolled my eyes.

"No, I do not." She said.

"Kwashie Ekuban, you are my favorite person in the whole wide world and multiverse." I repeated.

"Music to my ears," she laughed.

"If we don't last Zidania McGlashan, I hope you end up in the arms of another poet because I couldn't bear the sight of you unwritten." She said.

"Nonsense, I'll find my way back to you." I said. "Even if it's 10 years from now or in another lifetime, I'll find you and I'll love you. Always."

"Is that a bet Mrs Ekuban?" She asked me.

"Let's take it a few notches down, we aren't even married." I said.

"It's written in our stars.." she sung out.

"Let me get an eraser or something," I searched beside me and my empty pockets.

"You're insufferable," She said to me.

"An honor," I bowed my head.

"Listen, I'm sorry. Sorry for what I said. Sorry for making you seem like you aren't valid when in truth you are. You may not like certain things and I'm okay with that, I'm okay with working around it because at the end of the day I won't choose anyone else no matter if they do what you won't. You have your quirks and I have mines and I am devoted to loving all of you, no matter what. So I'm sorry, I never meant to put a bridge between us." I said.

"Apology accepted but we still have a bet to put on." Her smile was mischievous.

"What do you have to lose," She asked me.

"Everything," was my answer this time.