I was home now, I decided to leave Saturday evening instead of staying the whole weekend. I explained to the Ekubans that an impromptu meeting came up and I had to be there but really I didn't want to be staying in the same house as Kwashie. Why was I upset? I was gay for Christ sakes, I should be happy my husband is actually a wife but I felt cheated and lied to. Felt like no one considered me for a moment to let me into the loop. It'd be more easier if I had known that Kwashie was a female. Why is her voice so deep? Well at least not exactly feminine and not exactly masculine either. I was now laid in bed staring at the ceiling contemplating life. Richard knew but did my mother know? She opposed homosexuality so much and I knew she would never agree to all of this. Why would Richard keep this from me? I wouldn't have been hesitant if I knew Kwashie was a female in the first place, why didn't they introduce us at 15? That would've made things more easier and I would've been there for her transition and her for mine. I couldn't imagine the changes she went through to appear so masculine.

"Dear Big G, I hope she still has a vagina," I whispered to myself.

I only saw a bulge once and that was because her shorts were drawn up, not that I was looking or anything.

"Please be a strap," I whispered to myself again.

My phone was ringing again, Kwashie has tried talking to me but I wasn't hearing it. I was hurt because they all lied to me. Did they think I'd never find out? They must know that this would still be considered homosexuality, maybe they didn't care. Why didn't they just adopt a son? Why force their only daughter into changes like that? My phone dinged signaling that I had a message on WhatsApp.

K Ekuban: please meet me at the beach this evening, I'll explain everything.

Me: No. Explain what?

K Ekuban: everything

Me: like the marriage?

K Ekuban: why are you behaving so dense?

Me: like yam? 👀

K Ekuban: can't you see what's in front of your eyes?

Me: the question mark?

K Ekuban: Have I ever told you that you are insufferable?

Me: an honor, really..

K Ekuban: I'm going to call you. Please answer.

Me: My receiver isn't working, sorry.

K Ekuban: is that you asking for a new phone?

Me:

K Ekuban: how do I get those video things?

Me: you mean gifs? 😐

K Ekuban: okay... yes.

Me: what phone do you have?

K Ekuban: Note 9

Me: okay... ew #teamiphone

K Ekuban: #teamsamsungnoteisthebestidcwhatyouhavetosay

Okay. This conversation has to stop here. I mean Samsung was a good brand but Android? Ew ... Did I really like Kwashie? I mean, I do and finding out that he's really a she made me feel as if my feelings didn't need to be repressed. I felt like I could be my gay self around Kwashie, but is female Kwashie straight or gay? Wow, I thought that the reason why she could like my androgyny was because she was a gay man but now thinking about it she could just be a straight female who isn't able to ogle at men because then they'd think she's fruity.

"Big G, please let her be gay." I whispered to myself then crossed my fingers and kissed them.

I heard my phone ding and I knew it was Kwashie.

K Ekuban: why have you stopped replying?

Me: Get an IPhone and we can talk.

K Ekuban: will you speak over the phone with me if I got an iPhone?

Me: I'll even iMessage you 😏

K Ekuban: well in that case, I'll get one on Monday.

K Ekuban: will it make you willing to listen to what I have to say?

Me: what is it that you have to say?

K Ekuban: I wish to move our relationship forward and I would like to tell you about the changes I went through at 15 when the contract was first signed.

Me: first off, please don't waste money buying a new phone. I'll meet up with you at the beach. Pack a picnic. I'll bring a basket and you bring one too.

K Ekuban: thank god. I'll see you later fiancé 😘

Me: *fans away kiss*

K Ekuban: 😐

Childish? I know. I sniffed my armpit and it kinda smelled funky. I screwed my face up and made a noise low key judging myself. I got up and went to the bathroom stripping, I slam dunked my clothes into the dirty clothes hamper and let out a loud roar, the crowd went wild. I connected my phone to the speakers I had installed in my bathroom and looked for my OG rap playlist ready to put on a concert. I stepped into the shower when Big papa by Notorious B.I.G started playing.

"I love it when you call me big papa, throw your hands in the air if you a true playa." I sung at the top of my lungs.

I was half way through soaping up when the song ended and Keisha's song by Kendrick Lamar started playing. This was my jam right here, I cleared my throat and grabbed my old spice body wash and held it up as a mic.

"EH HEM. Ladies and gentlemen, a live tribute of Keisha's song performed by Invader Zim." I gave myself a short introduction.

"Thank you, thank you." I said while holding my chest.

Fancy girls on Long Beach boulevard,

Flashing down all of these fancy cars.

"And Lord knows she's beautiful. Lord knows the usuals leaving a body sore. She take the little change she make to fix her nail cuticles, lipstick is suitable to make you fiend for more. She play Mr. Shakur, that's her favorite rapper bumping "Brenda's Got A Baby" while a pervert yelling at her and she capture features of a woman" I rapped as if my life actually depended on it. As if someone held a gun to my head and said perform a song you know by heart or get shot.

"If they got money to blow a blow job is a sure go and sure enough don't see a dime of dirty dollars

She give all to her daddy but she don't know her father, that's ironic. See a block away from Lueders park, I seen the El Camino parked. In her heart she hate it there, but in her mind she made it where nothing really matters, so she hit the back seat.

Rosa Parks never a factor when she making ends meet" I forgot that I was actually supposed to be bathing right now, I made the two lined chorus passed before I started again.

"And Lord knows she's beautiful, Lord knows the usuals, leaving a body sore. As she bust down like a 12 bunk on tour, she suddenly realized she'll never escape the allure of the black man, white man, needed satisfaction, at first it became a practice, but now she's numb to it. Sometimes she wonder if she can do it like nuns do it but she's never heard of Catholic religion or sinners' redemption." I sung out starting to get emotional.

"That sounds foolish, and you can blame it on her mother for letting her boyfriend slide candy under her covers. Ten months before she was ten he moved in and that's when he touched her. This MUTHAFUCKA is the FUCKING reason why Keisha rushing through that block away from Lueders park, I seen an El Camino parked and in her heart she hate it there but in her mind she made it where nothing really matters, so she hit the back seat and caught a knife inside the bladder, left her dead, raped in the street KEISHA'S SONG!" I shouted out and flashed my hands.

I really felt this song. Every time I listened to it I felt sorry for sex workers and rape survivors, I know they don't want my sympathy and pity but I could never imagine what they've been through or what they are still currently going through and this is why I believed that sex work should be a registered profession so that they could get the help they needed emotionally and physically. Damn, I felt like I was feeling everything Kendrick felt when he was writing these lyrics.

"My little sister eleven, I looked her right in the face the day that I wrote this song sat her down and pressed play," I finished the song on a soft and sad note.

I couldn't imagine having a little sister either, I'd be extremely protective because this world is a dark place. I couldn't even imagine myself in certain situations, I might have the world to say but I'll never know my real reaction until the day it happens to me and I'm not looking to be in those situations. I swear..

I finally finished bathing and got out of the shower wrapping myself in a towel. It was now after 4 in the afternoon slowly going into evening time. I got dressed in a Nike sweatsuit but I had on a plain white T-shirt under the jacket, I put on black socks and slid my feet into my brown Burking-stocks. I caught my hair up in a bun and tied a bandana over my forehead. I took up a small tote bag and stuffed a medium sized blanket that I got from the closet into it. I went over to my dresser and took up the bug repellent and threw it into the bag as well. For extra measures I took up another blanket and held it in my hand. I ran downstairs and threw everything into my Jeep and went back inside to grab one of my mother's baskets and started filling it up with fruits, snack and soft drinks. I went to the glass cabinet and took out Richard's 15 years old whiskey, it was young. He wouldn't mind, I hoped. We had pre cooked smoked ham slices in the fridge and an assortment of cheeses in a container that I knew my mother bought when she went shopping. There were two of them so I took one and threw it in the basket. I walked over to the dish drainer and took out a knife and two glass cups. I took the cooler from the pantry and emptied out the contents of the ice maker into it and also emptied the ice from the fridge. The bread tray had French baguettes so I took one that was still wrapped in the brown paper and stuffed it into the basket as well, I hope Kwashie brings everything else.

I walked out of the house and set everything in the backseat then climbed into the front. I buzzed the gate open, took out my phone to send both parents a text message informing them of my plans for the evening and then drove out. I pressed the button to close the gate, waiting for it to close I heard a familiar engine hum behind me. I looked into my rear view and saw CJ's Jaguar slowly driving up to my Jeep, the windows were tinted so I couldn't really see in the car. Once her car got to my side, it slowed but it didn't stop and the windows never rolled down either. Wow, she really didn't want me to see her huh. The gate was closed so I drove off behind her slowly trailing her every move. If she moved to the right to avoid a speed bump, I did the same.

Once we got to the exit gate, she slowed down to look before turning out. I took this opportunity to text Kwashie and let him know that I was leaving out and is now on my way to the beach. I didn't see the direction that CJ turned but when I turned left to start my journey I saw her car a good distance ahead of me. I turned up my music and rolled the window down so I could get some evening breeze. I was still driving and it kind of seemed as if I was following CJ because every turn she took, I did the same but I really wasn't. I was on my way to the beach and it was obvious that she was too. I drove up to overtake her since she was driving below the speed limit and I felt awkward because she could've possibly thought I was trailing her. I was now in front of her, did I mention that the beach is close to an hour away? 45 minutes into the drive and she was still behind me, no other cars overtook her and she was still trailing behind me.

We were now on a long stretch and I decided to speed up and so did she, why was she fucking with me? I decided to focus on driving and stop being paranoid but I finally got to the beach and she was still behind me. There was a private entrance that you had to have a sticker to get into and I knew she had one too, wasn't sure about Kwashie though. I drove up and the security guard allowed me access, giving me an armband. I parked to the further side of the parking lot and when I got out I didn't see her car which meant she probably parked closer to the gate. I texted Kwashie to let him know that I was here and where I would be. I walked over to a coconut tree and dropped my stuff. This was where CJ and I always came when we were here. I laid out the blanket and set the cooler and basket at both ends to prevent the breeze from blowing it up. I was going to pour myself a drink when I heard someone clearing their throat, I looked up and came face to face with CJ.

"Wow, you're still as beautiful as ever." I said smiling.

"You're in my spot." She blushed.

"I think you mean our spot but I got here first sooo," I shrugged my shoulders and zipped down my jacket to take it off since the evening breeze was more warm than chill.

"It's okay babe, let's go somewhere else." I heard a feminine voice from beside CJ.

"Oh. I didn't even see you there. Hi, I'm Zim." I said smiling up at her.

"Amanda," she said giving me back a smile.

"Would you guys like a drink? I only brought two cups but I think I might have some plastic ones here too," I said searching in the basket.

"No," CJ shouted out quickly and the girl looked at her weirdly.

"Well, here's a blunt. It's the least I can do for an old friend." I said taking out a small wooden box and lifting the lid going for one of the joints.

"You know I don't smoke." CJ said.

"I wasn't talking to you even though you are the old friend." I said and winked at her.

Her cheeks were flushed and I stood up walking over to her.

"This sunset makes you look delectable, I'm sorry I'm not the one making you cum anymore. I miss the taste of you on my lips and I miss the way you used to moan my name." I said to her then blew on her neck.

"You don't even like fems like that baby girl." I whispered in her ear.

"Now go on, I don't want to keep you guys from your beach date." I said stepping back from her.

She still hasn't said anything, her face was red. Her blushing was visible because of her high skin tone and I always found it cute. Amanda took her hand and lead her away from me, she gave me one last look that I wasn't able to read before turning and walking away. I was still watching her walk away when I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

"Yes sir?" I turned around to face him and my mouth dropped when I saw him. He was in a light pink button down shirt with the top buttons loose and white linen shorts that stopped above mid thigh, his brown loafers complimented the outfit and his hat sat perfectly on his head. Kwashie had a low Afro with a faded front and it fitted him very well.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Why didn't you tell me that it was a casual semi formal thing?" I answered looking down at my sweat pants and plain T-shirt.

"You look fine," he said.

"No," I paused and shook my head, "you look fine."

He blushed and held his head low putting the stuff he had in his hands down onto the blanket. I walked over and sat back where I was before taking up my wooden box.

"You mind if I smoke?" I asked.

"Only if you're sharing," he said sitting beside me and looked over at me with a smile.

"Oh, it's like that huh?" I asked.

"It is," he answered.

"So why'd you say that it was unattractive when I made it known that I smoked?" I said searching for my lighter.

"Keeping up appearances," he shrugged his shoulders .

I went behind him to avoid the breeze so I could light the joint.

"Don't burn my shirt, it is 75% cotton and 25% linen and it's from Untuck-it." He said.

"Whoops, my bad." I said moving once the joint was fully lit. The shirt was probably mad expensive because everything on the site was mad expensive. I had the money but I just couldn't bring myself to buy a long sleeve button down shirt for $175 USD just because I didn't want to tuck my shirt in. This might sound cheap but all of my button downs came from either Calvin Klein, Aeropostale or Forever 21 Men and if I felt like spending a little more I go to Tommy Hilfiger.

I passed the joint over to him and went to my basket to pull out the cheese platter, smoked ham, the fruits and, the baguette and laid them in front of us. I handed him the glass cup and pointed at the whiskey. I also made it known that soft drinks were there as well. He took two medium tubs of ice cream from his basket and handed them to me so I could put them in my cooler. He started eating the smoked ham and cheese, tearing off the baguette so to avoid me stabbing him I took up the knife and started cutting the bread into thick slices. He had coleslaw, stewed chicken, ducano , fungi, pounded yam and, potato dumplings. We ate the food from his basket and decided to leave the cheese and ham for when the munchies kicked in. We were drinking and making jokes. The sun had completely set but there was a bulb strung around the coconut tree so we weren't in complete darkness. It was the end of the month so the full moon was shining down on us.

"I should've told you from the start," Kwashie said breaking the silence.

"Should've told me what?" I asked.

I saw him pop open the fruit punch soda tin, pouring some into his cup and then filling the rest with whiskey. I'm assuming he should've told me from the start that he was a sociopath because a normal human being wouldn't mix whiskey and soda.

"Stop looking at me like that, here try it. It's really good." He stretched the cup out to me.

I took a drag from my joint and said, "that's gonna be a no from me chief."

"You're missing out," he said.

"And I don't feel bad about it," I said.

"Anyways, you were saying," I watched him take my jacket up and wrapped it around his shoulders, his not lean and broad but feminine and narrow shoulders.

"Uhh yeah," he downed his drink in one go.

"Remember you're driving back," I said to him.

"Or you can drive me home," he smirked at me.

"Slow down tiger, you were about to say something." I patted his leg.

"Yeah, Yeah. It's just that your lips are very distracting and I'm feeling the effect of this lovely whiskey that you brought. How old is it?" He asked.

"15 and Kwashie, I'm a lesbian. I only agreed to this marriage to help my father.. I was hoping that we could come to a compromise you know?" I said looking over at him.

"Well I guess that's good for me then," he said slowly. He tilted his head up and looked at the moon.

"Because..." He was answering my unsaid question.

"I'm a girl." He moved his gaze from the moon to give me a penetrating stare.

"And I'm a lesbian..."

God did answer prayers after all...