I am dark in black,

shades of horror behind,

dust between the fingers,

and the dark clouds

scream in the sky.

Pain, my heart breaks,

and the veins burn -

boundless black.

Black around, black inside

black is everywhere,

black becomes more black

and me in this at the feet

of my own blackness.

A dense net, surrounds me

and I lack oxygen,

when suddenly, there is redness,

it comes hot, touches and burns

and overwhelms with smoke.

It burns at my feet, then lifts up

and feelings continue to burn,

emotions, heart, blood,

body and memories.

Let me burn, let me burn,

let me die completely.

I want to be oblivious,

because only this flame -

will take the blackness away.

I want to burn in red

and I am burning,

and I am burning,

and death is coming,

nothing hurts me,

and my soul sings.

Tick, tick, tick- I hear.

This is my heart being born again.

Let the purple come -

this is a new hope.

I'm rising. Again?

And when I soar in endless smoke,

I am not feeling, that I am, exist,

because I have become

a smoke and light, and free

from suffering

and blackness of the sea.

In the mirror of this soul,

the other stands and looks,

twin to my heart,

our common flame,

which consumes me in my sleep

red with his love.

When the first thought comes back,

because it is born in pain,

I see, that I have wings again,

feathers are orange red,

and I am again, and I live -

a phoenix again.

Tick, tick, tick- I hear.

This is my heart being born again.

Let the purple come -

this is a new hope.

I'm rising. Again?

Only longing remains.

Where are you witness.

Where are you?

Because when I get into bed at night,

to the dream of my longing,

you promise me every time:

I will find you,

I will find you,

I will!

I hear these words

in my heart,

like a mantra.

I will find you,

I will find you!

And I am waiting

here still ...

and I die again.