《Loving Min Yoongi: How To Love Him》Chapter 63
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Alex was putting away her clothes when she jumped at the knock on the door. She walked over and swung the door open to find Yoongi standing on the other side. She walked backwards as he walked toward her and shut the door behind him. He put his hands on his hips, "Would you like to explain to me what the hell that was just now?"
"What do you mean?" Alex crossed her arms over her chest.
"What do I mean?! We haven't seen each other in two weeks, and you just left the party like you were some random guest. Any other time you'd be staying behind so we can spend time together. And that card? You need to tell me what is wrong, because something is not right."
Alex was chewing on her bottom lip. How could she begin to tell him what she had been thinking. "It's not that I didn't want to see you."
"Really, then what is it, because all I could think about these last two weeks was seeing you, and instead I get some card that felt like a participation award." Yoongi was pacing back and forth.
"No, it's not like that." Alex was starting to panic, she didn't want him thinking that way.
"Then what is it like, Lex? 'Cause I'm completely lost right now." He stopped and looked at her, waiting for her to explain.
Alex walked over to the chair by the desk and sat down, "I don't know how to explain it. When that article came out, it just kind of hit me." She was folding and unfolding her hands as she tried telling him. "The way you two looked together, it just made me realize, that that is what you need."
"What is what I need? I told you it wasn't a date, she's a colleague."
"I know, I'm not talking about the dinner. I'm talking about her, you, the two of you. You just . . . fit."
Yoongi looked even more confused, "What do you mean we fit? Lex, help me out here, I'm not following."
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She let out an exasperated sigh, "All this time I kept thinking to myself "what does he see in me". It never made sense, the two of us together. I don't fit in your world! You live in the world of idols, I document that world. It's two totally different things. When I saw the two of you in the picture, it just reminded me that that is what you need, someone who fits into your world."
Yoongi ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. "Lex, I don't need a "her". I need you!"
Alex burst out of her chair, "What happens down the road if you realize this can't work? How do I stand up against all the "right" women out there when the media finds out we're together? What do I do if later you realize I'm not the right fit?" Alex was breathing heavily, trying to hold back the tears.
Yoongi finally realized it had nothing to do with the article. It had nothing to do with her lack of faith in him and his loyalty. It had everything to do with her heart, and the reason she held it so close. She was terrified of the possibility of being set aside. "Lex, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't care what the media or anyone else thinks. How could you not be a fit for me when you've become a part of me?"
She shook her head in denial.
"Don't you get what I'm saying? You're everything to me, Lex. How could you think you're not right for me, or that I wouldn't want you? I'm in love with you."
"What?" she whispered in shock.
Yoongi let out a short breath as his arms hung down by his sides, "I love you."
A sob mixed with a laugh escaped from Alex. She put her hands over face, sunk to the ground, and started crying. Yoongi's face looked panicked. He walked over to her, dropped to his knees, and wrapped his arms around her. "Oh no, please don't cry. I can't handle crying."
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Alex wrapped her arms around his waist, and continued to cry.
"Lex, you have to talk to me. Why are you still crying? What is wrong? Why are you so sad?"
"I'm not sad, I'm happy." She cried harder.
"Well, crying is one way to show it I guess." Yoongi smoothed her hair with his hand while she got it all out.
After a few minutes, Alex leaned back on her heels and wiped the tears from her face. She took a deep breath and let it out then looked up at him. "You don't know how shitty I have been feeling these past few weeks."
"Well, I would like to say I could imagine it, but I really had no clue this is how you were feeling." He got up, and went to the bathroom to get her some tissues.
"Thank you," she dabbed them over her face, "I kept thinking you would suddenly realize that this was just a detour, and that you wouldn't really need me around once I was out of the picture. When I came back home, it felt like none of it was real, and it made me realize how separate our worlds are."
He shook his head, "What I want is you. Period. The differences between my world and yours doesn't change that."
She smiled as she looked at him. This sexy, caring, talented, amazing man wanted her. Loved her. Needed her. She took a step towards him and took his face in her hands. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.
He leaned back and looked down at her. He brushed her hair away from her face then kissed her forehead. "Remember that promise you made to me about never keeping things in? That you would tell me if something was wrong?" Alex bit her lower lip and nodded. "Well, let's not repeat that failure again, huh? I don't think I could survive it."
She laughed as she wound her arms around his neck, "Deal."
"So we good now?" She nodded her head and smiled. He stared at her for a minute when his eyebrows started to rise. "Um, so, are you just gonna leave me hangin'? Is there anything you want to say to me?"
Alex threw her head back laughing and shouted, "I love you, Min Yoongi!" She hugged him as tight as she could. She had missed him so much, she needed to make up for lost time. "Stay with me tonight? Just sleep next to me?"
Yoongi leaned back and nodded his head, "Let me run down to my room and change then I'll come back." He walked out the door then came back five minutes later. When he walked back in, Alex had already changed into her pj's. He saw the shirt she had on and busted out laughing, "When did you get that?" Alex looked down at her shirt.
"Oh," She gave him a shy smile, "I've had this for forever. It's one of your hottest moments." He gave her a raised eyebrow, "I mean, you've always been my bias."
Yoongi's eyes grew huge, "AHA!" He pointed his finger at her, "I knew it! I knew I was your bias this whole time!" He did a small little victory dance as he spun in a circle.
Alex shook her head at him, "I knew I shouldn't have told you."
Yoongi jumped onto the bed then rolled over and put his hands behind his head, "I knew it." He had a smug grin on his face.
Alex let out a sigh, "It was bound to come out some time." She went and turned off the lights then crawled under the covers. Yoongi rolled over and put his arm around her and scooted in close. He gave her small kisses up and down her neck till she was laughing.
He gave her one last kiss on top of her head, "I love you." Alex linked her fingers with his, "I love you too." They both slept like the dead that night.
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