《But Too Well》XXII : Allies
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to meet with me." I give her my sincerest smile, and she smiles back, though in her dark eyes I can see the caution, the hesitation.
For a moment we just look at each other, and the first thought in my head is wow she's gorgeous. Beautiful. High cheekbones, flawless skin, perfectly sculpted eyebrows. No wonder my brother is head over heels in love with her. And her dark features definitely remind me of Nero's. I wonder how I didn't see the resemblance sooner.
"So..." I squirm a little, trying to figure out how to say what I want so say. Parts of my stomach, churning, tell me to abandon this mission, but my mind is made up. I have to do this.
I take a deep breath, my voice honest. "I know about you and Nero."
Immediately, her face darkens, every part of her defensive. She narrows her eyes, ready to strike, but I hold up my hands in surrender, shaking my head vehemently, assuring her that I mean no harm.
"I'm not accusing you of anything," I promise, offering a small smile. "I just... want to talk to you about something."
I think she can see the honesty beneath my words, and her shoulders slacken, her features relaxing. "It's not what you think, Rosalyn." Her eyes meet mine, almost pleading. "I'm not like him, you know."
Her words comfort me, give me the courage to continue, to tell her what I've been planning to all along.
"And I believe you. I just..."
She leans in ever so slightly, waiting to hear what I have to say. I see she's curious, her coffee untouched in front her, her dark eyes glued onto mine. "What is this about?"
And, taking a deep breath, I tell her. I tell her everything. Okay, almost everything. I tell her about being Nero's neighbor, about witnessing a crime in the making, about how the men in my life are all unwittingly working against him, and it makes my life a living hell.
And man she's a good listener. She nods and smiles and grimaces and lends her sympathy. Of course I leave out certain parts... I don't mention the kissing or touching or those looks or... any of that.
And when I end with a huff of breath, it feels like a huge load has been lifted from my shoulders—I haven't felt this light, this weightless, in a long time.
When I'm done, Natalia looks at me differently. Sympathetic, yes, but, understanding. Respectful. I realize that she and I are kinda in the same boat, really. Her boyfriend is on the opposite team, against everyone she knows. She's at odds with her entire family.
I imagine she feels guilty, everyday, keeping it all from Daniel. Which reminds me...
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"You and Daniel are..." I hate to ask it. It makes me feel like a terrible person, like such a bitch. But I need to know, for my brother's sake. "Real, right?"
I expect her to look hurt but she just looks tired, and she gives me a wan smile. "I get that you must worry about him, knowing everything that you know." She sips her coffee, and I do the same. "I love your brother, Rosalyn."
The way she says it, open, honest, sincere—I believe her completely. I see it in her eyes, the ones that remind me of Nero. Except her eyes are far kinder, I realize.
"I wouldn't do anything to hurt him and... you should know, Nero and I are a part of two different worlds."
God, you have know idea how much I wanted to hear that. The smile I give her, relieved and friendly, trusting, earns me one back.
"This whole thing has been eating at me for so long..." My voice is quiet, emotional. Damn hormones. "You have no idea what it means for me to be able to tell someone." Natalia gives me a beautiful smile, taking my hand gently across the table.
"You can talk to me about it anytime." And she sounds like she means it.
"Thank you, Natalia."
"Thank you."
And from there, my whole world is brighter than it has been for a while.
"So, my brother doesn't know about..." I fade off with a shrug and she fills in the blank easily. "Does he?"
Natalia shakes her head, her expression a little sad. "I told him my family lives in Toronto. That way he wouldn't have to meet them." She sounds so upset by this, almost ashamed, and I realize that I'm not the only one with secrets. "I hate having to lie to him but... I think the truth is worse."
That pretty much sums up my recent existence, doesn't it? "That sucks."
"Yup."
We drink our coffee, and inside, I know I've found someone that I can depend on a little. Am I suspicious? Maybe. But at this point, I need to believe that something like this, something good, is really possible. That my life is able to be something other than a mess.
"It sucks what the guys have to deal with, doesn't it? They're just trying to do the right thing and..."
Natalia nods, looking just as upset by it as I am. "I know. When I heard about what those idiots of his said to Daniel and your dad I flipped out at Nero so hard. I refused to speak to him for a while after that."
I remember her and Nero and the screaming match they had at the fundraiser, and Natalia's words explain it all.
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"Nero tried to convince me that it wasn't him who gave the orders but I didn't know if I believed him." I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth—they tell way too much about just how much Nero and I talk. And maybe other things.
Natalia doesn't seem to notice, though. "He was actually telling the truth about that one." She rolls her eyes. "But that doesn't mean that he isn't a total bastard about everything else." She runs a hand across her face, and her feelings for Nero are suddenly very clear.
Another question. One that I maybe shouldn't ask, one that doesn't really matter. One that is definitely a product of some ulterior motives. But I am weak. He makes me so damn weak. I'm careful with my words, guarded. "Nero hasn't... mentioned me at all, has he?"
Told you how much he likes me, that he thinks I'm beautiful. That I frustrate him.
Shut up Rosalyn. Shut up shut up shut up.
If Natalia suspects anything, she doesn't let on. In fact, I think she suspects the exact opposite.
She shakes her head. "No, don't worry. He keeps a lot of things to himself, and even though we don't talk often I'm sure he would have said something if he thought it were important."
Ouch. A good thing, Rosalyn. He isn't busy plotting your doom with the rest of his mafia buddies. But an admittedly significant portion of me had wished that I could get him crazy enough, intrigued enough, to do something or say something or... slip. How idiotic of me.
I feign relief. So maybe there are still some heavy secrets that I will need bear all by myself.
•§•
even see Caleb. They are all so busy prepping for their case tomorrow that I wonder if they'll get any sleep.
And because I'm a good girlfriend (shut up, okay?) I do what I can to ease the stress.
Caleb?
His reply is quick, quicker than I expected given all the work they have to do.
Rosalyn?
I smile, a little guilty that I never have to wait long for him to respond to my messages. It's one more thing that makes me feel like I don't deserve him.
I know you guys are super busy but I just wanted to lend my... moral support.
And then I click send on the photo I took just for him, one that is indeed very sexy and very compromising and highly, highly inappropriate.
Shit, Rosalyn.
Daniel knows something is up from how red my face just went
So, so distracted thank you
Just lost the case because of you
He's endearing but that last bit makes me feel so, so guilty. If only he knew.
You're welcome.
In a couple minutes, his reply makes me smile, and I comply.
Send another?
•§•
I know it's not just my brother and Caleb and Dad working hard to make sure everything goes smoothly tomorrow. Nero's been quiet, careful, since that first time I overheard a murder in the making. Almost exceptionally so. But tonight?
Tonight I can hear the voices out in the hall, deep and scary and loud, barking orders and demands and calling out things in that smooth, soft language I can't understand.
It annoys me, knowing that what those men are doing is plotting against us. Plotting against innocence and justice and the law. I imagine that they are trying to figure out the best way to kill us if the guys decide to spill the truth about what they know. If they decide to hell with this and then make their case and then the judge will find an innocent man innocent, and then Nero's gang of criminals will be fair game for law enforcement.
It's bizarre, but I kinda want them to just do it. Put it all on the line, risk my life and theirs to show those guys that they can't just mess with us.
But of course, they would never.
We've been dating for only a couple weeks but already I know Caleb is falling, and I feel myself slipping too. His touch and his words and his smile... he's perfect, he is everything I need and want and I can feel him thinking the same about me, however misguided that may be.
And Daniel? And Dad? They would never consider it. Even if I asked them to.
And that makes me wonder.
If Nero does feel something, anything, would it be enough? I'm not so naive that I actually believe it, but I do wonder.
"Dad, you should just do it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
And then:
"Your honor. We have valid evidence to show that our suspect was indeed unfairly prosecuted. The evidence we have submitted is proof that a warring mafia family, led by the absurdly sexy Nero Santino, coerced the police into arresting this man, to turn the investigation away from them, the true murderers."
Okay, so maybe they wouldn't word it exactly like that. But then...
Rosalina. I know we threatened to kill you but really, I am very attracted to you and I feel bad for everything I have put you through. So instead, let me fuck you and then we can just forget about this.
Yeah, it just sounds like a really bad porno.
Wow, I suck.
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