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It's been days since she was gone. She was so young and it's been hard for me ever since that day. Even though I'm at a spot in my career where I've reached the Stanley Cup Finals for the second time in my life, I feel like I have a big gaping hole in my heart. It's the 3rd night that I haven't been sleeping really well since what had happened.

I sat up in bed again and looked outside through the window. The moon was shining bright and there were billions of stars illuminating the dark night sky. I brought my knees up to my chest and sat there in thought. I miss her so much that my heart aches 24/7.

I remember the day when she had peacefully slipped away.

---

"I'm going to miss y-you so m-much, Y/N..." I choked back sobs and spoke in a shaky voice. Tears were building up in my eyes and slowly, one-by-one did they start to flow down my cheeks like a waterfall. I felt her take my hand in hers and she softly smiled at me.

"I am going to miss being with you, Martin..." She looked into my green-hazel eyes as I looked into her dull E/C eyes. She weakly reached to her table next to her and grabbed an envelope. I gently took it from her hands and I had promised her that I would read it when I had got back home. She sighed in content before she held my face in her hands. I leaned down to her and kissed her gently and passionately, not wanting to let her go.

"Don't cry, honey..." She wiped the tears off my cheeks and held my hand as tight as she could. "Think of this as a see you later. Not a goodbye..."

"I love you so much, Y/N..." I started to sob and pretty soon, her eyes were red and puffy.

"I-I love y-you too, Martin Jones...." She smiled at me with her twinkling eyes before I noticed that her breathing rate was slowing down a little bit. Slowly, her eyes started to close and after that had happened, her heart rate went down until the monitor had flatlined.

I can't believe it. I couldn't believe that she was gone. I pressed my lips on top of her cold forehead one more time before I had decided to leave the room and go out to the waiting room to meet with her family. They had said their goodbyes and said that Y/N wanted to say her final goodbyes to me.

I walked out the door quietly and gently shut the door behind me. Her family stood up and looked at me with tears flowing down their cheeks.

"Sh-she's g-gone..." I broke down into tears as I felt her mother hug me. My heart was broken into a million pieces. She was the love of my life and it really broke me.

---

Tears started to pool in my eyes as I thought of the sad memory. Turning to the bedside table, I had grabbed the letter that she had written to me.

'Dear Martin,

I really couldn't believe that I have to do this... It's just so heartbreaking for me to tell this to you that my days were numbered. I'm really going to miss your optimistic and positive personality and your adorable smile. It's been the best 4 years of my life and everyday with you has been always an adventure for me. You've been there for me through my good times and my bad ones and I've been there for you. This past year has been a whirlwind for the both of us with you now playing for the San Jose Sharks and the devastating news. I really hope you do win the Stanley Cup again, sweetheart.

I will always love you and will never forget you, Martin Jones.

Love and sincerely,

Y/N L/N.'

I looked over the letter that she had written in her handwriting, which felt really sentimental for me. I could feel and see the thought, time, and effort that she had put into this letter. I felt like this was the only piece of Y/N that I have left.

It was the day of her funeral and the most emotional day for me. When I had arrived at the church where her funeral was taking place, her family greeted me and asked how I was doing. Honestly, I was feeling crappy and I didn't want to let her go, but it was a part of life and I eventually had to move on. The process had started and people were starting to say their goodbyes and eulogies. When it had came to my turn to say my eulogy, I got up from my seat and put on a fake smile, which everyone could've seen through.

"My n-name is Martin Jones and a few of you may not know who I am, but I was Y/N L/N's boyfriend for the past 4 years...Y/N was always a positive and upgoing p-person. She always brightened everyone around her's days when they were down, including myself. I had met Y/N back in Los Angeles about 4 years ago and I'll be honest, it was the best day of my life. I was the last person she said goodbye to before she had peacefully passed away... I remember that her last words that she had said to me were 'I love you too, Martin Jones'." My eyes were getting misty from the sad and emotional moment. "I had felt love whenever I was around her and she truly had changed my life forever. Y/N," I turned around to say something one more time, "I love you so much that my heart aches whenever I think of you. I miss you so much, sweetheart."

After I had laid the flower in her coffin, I quietly went back to my seat and let my tears fall out of my eyes as I saw people paying their last respects.

It's been taking a toll on my life. I keep on telling myself to move on, but it just seems so hard every time that I try to move on from her. My teammates have given me some personal space and occasionally, they check up on me to see how I was doing. The heartache is tough to deal with and that had been affecting me whenever I tried to do something. When I had went back to practice for the first time, everybody were supportive and gave me some time to readjust. And with the heartache, I couldn't take it anymore, so I had decided to get a tattoo in her honor, which was a hocckey puck with her initials in the middle of the puck. I'd kiss the tattoo I had won the game and/or got a shutout to make her happy from where she was.

It was a few weeks after the event and I was feeling much better, but I still missed her from time-to-time. It was the last 60 seconds of the Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Sharks were up by two and as the time had ticked down slowly but surely, I had heard the horn, signaling a win for the San Jose Sharks. We won the Stanley Cup and I couldn't believe! Before I knew it, I felt my teammates hug and tackle me as we celebrated the win and the first time that we had won the cup. I saw Y/N's family come down to the ice and when I saw them, I gave them big hugs before they encouraged me to go lift the Cup and have fun with my teammates.

After some fun that I had experienced with my teammates, I went back home before it was time for the media day conferences tomorrow with the press. Before I went to sleep, I looked at a picture of Y/N and I with the Stanley Cup 2 years ago and softly smiled at the fond memory.

"We won the Cup, Y/N." I whispered to no one before I decided to go to sleep.