It's been two days since our first date. Our kiss still feel so unreal! Is it real? Or simply just my imagination?? Or that's what I thought...

Because we never talk about the kiss afterward. Everytime I want to come up with that, well it never came up. I chickened up everytime!

But I still go to school walking hand by hand with her. Kristen is still my girlfriend, I still have few more days before my birthday coming up. 4 more days to be exact!

Remember that time when I decided to plot as much ideas as possible to seduce a Kristen Samantha Xavier??

No??

Well me neither...

How can I think I can seduce her with anything when I myself never feel sexy enough to seduce anyone...

Even my best friend...

I never came up with any plan actually. Maybe because I wanted her to like me just because of me, my cuteness maybe, at least that's what she always say, I am such a cutie! Her cutie!

Sometimes we even argue about this!

Like how come she can described me as a cutie when I think I am badass enough! I am the captain of our school's female soccer team, I've learned taekwondo since I was a kid and got my black belt when I was 10, I even learned kickboxing since four years ago, I played other sports as well like basketball, volleyball and sometimes hockey. I love motorcross and happened to own Tamsin, which is a badass beast as well!

Yeah, not that I want to brag or anything, but I think I just want to emphasized that I am such a badass!

But, seems like I am such a cutie for Kristy. Well I will take that I guess...

But when I think back about how I only got 4 more days to call her my girlfriend, there's a lot of feelings steaming inside!

That stomach-churning feelings will return everytime I think about our deal.

I am very sure she will smile and simply said "Welcome back my bestie and may we be best friend forever and ever..." and there's no more that girlfriend possessive action or the sound of her voice calling me her girlfriend.

I will miss that... For sure!

I should have known that and moved on. She is kind enough to agree on being my girlfriend for these few days but nuhhhh... I decided to hurt myself even more!

Now that I know the feeling to call her mine, can I move on after this??..

"Xandra sweetie, you okay dear?", the sound of my mom's voice startled me.

We are currently having our family dinner. Alexandre got few days break from his college so he came back to visit us. I guess I kinda zoned out when he was so excitedly telling us his college's experiences and whining a bit when he told there's a lot of works that he should catch up!

"I'm gay!", I simply replied absent-mindedly.

OMG where's that come from?! I didn't even decide to come out to my family let alone like this!

Eff you my mind and mouth that never worked together perfectly!

"Uhhh I'm...", well now I'm stuttered to try covering anything but I guess it's too late.

"Well? I'm pretty sure I didn't ask you that just now honey..", my mom chuckled while shaking her head a little bit amusingly.

WAIT WHAT??

I mean I just came out and no one even say anything??! Or response anything either...

I look to my left and saw my father is so concentrating on cutting his juicy steak into pieces while my brother still talking animatedly about his story while trying to gauge my father's attention.

"Seriously??", I kinda whispered...

"Honey, what kind of reactions that you want us to act when you decided to tell us that before?", seems like my mom is the only one who kindly enough to ask me anything regarding my previous confession.

"Uhhh anything? Like maybe shock for example??..", I replied while eyeing everyone's reaction.

"I already see this coming Xandra..", finally my dad interrupted while busying himself chewing his food.

"I already knew we can creep on pretty girls together lil sis!", said my idiot brother while smirking.

"...besides it's so obvious that you have been in love with Kristen all this time so what's new?"

Wait?

He said that I am in love with Kristy all this while?

Is he for real??

I don't even know am I in love with Kristy or not.

Maybe I just love her more than just a best friend, but to say I am in love is on another whole new level!

And how come an insensitive ass like him can see all this??!

"I am so not in love with Kristy!", I tried to counteract his statement but I can feel my cheeks are slowly burning in embarrassment.

"Whatever lil sis! See you later!", he ruffled my hair before get up upstairs doing God-know-what!

"We still love you as much as before sweetie if that's what you wanted to hear...", my mom just smiled at me before slowly get up from her chair and collected some dishes.

"... but I will still have to talk to any girls who wants to date my daughter and give them a piece of my mind if they decided to break your heart. It's what people called as 'daddy's duty' anyway right?"

My dad finally concluded everything.

That's all!

Well coming out to my family is totally not something that I should feel concerned about anymore.

Back to this of four more days of becoming Kristy's girlfriend problem...!

Quick update for you guys since tomorrow is my birthday. 21st March is totally my lucky day to be alive! ;)

Actually, this coming out topic just suddenly inspired by my friend who knows a guy who happened to realize that he is bisexual and the thing is, he felt worse because he came out to his homophobic best friend and he even think about suicide after! Because he is surrounded by homophobic people who happened to just questioning him like "No! God won't accept that" or "Why he suddenly decided to think about other guys like that?" and so on!

It was so ridiculous like how can people decided to be gay or bi or whatever out of a sudden!