"Ate?" I pat ate Aika on her shoulder. Nakatulala nalang kase ito sa ceiling. "Coffee po, oh."

"Thank you."

"Stable na raw po si bunso," I smiled to her who just took a sip on her coffee. "N-nag-stop lang daw po ang heart niya kanina b-but she's fine now."

"She's not fine, Jillian."

"She will be fine." I gritted my teeth.

"No, Jill. Get this into your mind; nag-stop ang heart niya kanina. Tumigil, Jill! Paano kung hindi natin siya naabot dito sa hospital ng oras?" I couldn't speak. "Our sister is sick, Jillian. She might not-..."

"Our sister is strong, Ate!"

"Kahit gaano pa kalakas ang isang tao, kahit gaano pa ka fighter, napapagod parin sila."

"May tiwala ako sa kapatid natin, Ate Aika." I said in finality and just shut my mouth while sitting beside her.

"Sorry..."

"I'm sorry, too."

"Nadala lang, Jill. I... I can't believe she kept it to herself." She shook her head tapos inangat ang ulo sa towards the ceiling. "Months. She kept it for months. And inside those momths, nakilita pa ang symptoms niya na binaliwa lang natin dahit akala ay normal lang kay bunso."

I should've told them about the blood-cough situation last time.

I feel so sorry right now. Dapat talaga ay sinabihan ko sila mama noon para maagapan agad si Cole. I was torn between being terrified to being hated kay Cole and telling the family and just be hated by my sister.

Sana talaga sinabi ko, but now, it's too late.

"Let's just promise to ourselves to look after our sister, Ate Aika. Hindi na natin siya hahayaang mag-isang lumalaban. From now on..."

"Your Ate Patty... I can't imagine how she felt while nasa sasakyan pa tayo kanina." I faced her as I listened to what she was saying. "How she tried her hardest, her best to revive our sister."

"Her face looked so scared earlier." Sabi ko naman, reminiscing my sister's look earlier kanina while she performed CPR kay Cole. "There was hope sa mukha niya but..."

"Parang ayaw 'ata magpaligtas ni bunso." Ate Aika tried to joke but parang ayaw kong tumawa. "Sorry..."

After my sister's failed 'joke', a long, but not to the point that it's awkward silence came through.

I feel like we're transitioned into the past. Cole was barely four years old that time when we first rushed her into the hospital after seeing blood on her handkerchief after she coughed.

Papa drove like a maniac. Parang wala atang minuto nun at nasa hospital na kami. We all panicked because we didn't know what was happening.

Then we found out that she had a stage 2 lung cancer. I never really understood that time as to why my little sister had to go back and forth to the hospital.

Funny because growing up, I thought that the reason why Cole wentbin and out of the hospital is because she wanted to be a doctor and that she's studying there to be one.

Napatanong pa ako sa sarili ko nun kung bakit kami nila ate ko ay sa school pumapasok tapos si Cole ay sa hospital naman.

Then Cole's hospital visits came to an end. One day, they almost stopped going there na. Madalang nalang. Then one time pa, we celebrated something for Cole. My parents and my two ates were so happy that time, especially ate Trish.

"We're going to have a hard time convincing Cole to get treated." My thoughts were cut off when I felt ate Aika place her hand on her arm. "Hay..."

"She's gonna refuse." Napatingin kaming pareho ni ate Aika sa papalapit na si ate Patty with mama walking beside her. "Aayaw 'yan sa chemo."

"We're going to force her, Patty. She needs to get well." Sadness was all over our eldest sister's voice. "Kailangan niyang gumaling."

"We'll talk to her through it." Mama said as she sat beside me. "Hindi ka uupo, Trish?"

Ate Tricia only shook her head and leaned against the wall, facing her head up to the ceiling. "When can we go inside her room?" She asked.

"Mamaya pa raw sabi ng doktor."

"Ate Aiks, I'm sorry..."

"Hindi ako ang kailangan mong hingan ng patawad, Tricia."

"I know, I know."

I let out a heavy sigh causing mama to turn to me. "Okay ka lang, Jill?" Tanong niya at hinaplos amg aking braso.

"Stage three..."

"Ha?"

"Her cancer, nasa stage three na, Ma." Hindi ko mapigilang mapahagulgol at mailapit ang mukha ko sa dibdib ng aking ina upang duon umiiyak. Parang mauubos na yata 'tong luha ko. "She needs to live, Mama."

I can't take another heartbreak. Losing someone, especially someone special is like losing yourself. Napakasakit nun. We've all experienced it first-handedly.

"She will, Jill." Mama comforted me. "Tahan na, Aki ko."

"Jill, stop crying na..." I felt ate Patty walk towards me, umupo ito sa pagitan namin ni ate Aika at inilipat nito ang ulo ko sa chest niya. "Shhh... Everything is going to be alright, Jill."

"What if it won't?"

"Look into the brighter side, Jill." Ate Aika voiced out. "We'll all get through this. Ikaw na ang nagsabi kanina — Cole is strong."

At sabi mo rin kanina na kahit gaano pa ka lakas ang isang tao, napapagot parin ito.

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Still waiting parin a IG post ni Doc. Chz.