《Lovely Sky》XVIII
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"Bakit ka galit?"
"Bumalik ang cancer ni Nicolette!"
I heard their gasps followed be my sobs. "That was why I was provoking her into telling us what she isn't telling us yet! Dahil alam kong hindi niya iyon sasabihin saatin nang basta-basta lang! She was willing to keep it from us, and she did. Hanggang ngayon. At paano kung hindi ko ginawa 'yong kanina?!" I cried loudly dahil malayo-layo naman na kami sa kwarto ni Cole ko. "That's her secret. That's the secret she's been keeping from us from the moment she knew about it. She is sick, Ate, our sister is sick!"
"Kaya I'm sorry if I betrayed her and broke her trust. I'm sorry kung ang dumi ng way ko para lang she'll tell us." I broke down onto the floor. Nanlambot bigla ang mga paa ko sa thought na bumalik ang sakit ng kapatid mo na akala namin ay tuluyan nang naghilom. "I'm sorry..."
"Tricia, jusko." Mama leveled her way to where I was and hugged me. "Jusko..."
"Mama, her cancer is back." I sobbed onto her embrace. "Our bunso is sick again, Mama."
"She said... She said about something is hurting her earlier." We turned to ate Aika who was still standing. "I-I thought it was because of her bruises. S-She's been coughing excessively, too."
"Bruises?"
"It's her chest..."
Mama and I said together. "Anong sinasabi mong pasa, Aika? A-At anong puso niya ang sumasakit, Tricia?"
"She's been experiencing lots of pananakit for the past days, weeks, and months... We always thought that her fatigue is just her, being her matulugin and tiredness self that's why we shrugged it off. Mga days na kahil walang ginagawa, nahihirapan siyang huminga. We didn't expect it to comeback dahil we thought that the cancer is already in complete remission..." After my turn, we turned to ate Aika because she began to hysterically cry.
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"Ma... Ma, tatlong beses napagtangkaang kidnapin si Cole, Ma. We almost lost her yesterday!" Our eldest sister began to sob uncontrollably, causing her to fall slowly on the ground with her back attached on the wall. "Ano 'to, jusko..."
Oh, my God. What if happening. Kung isa 'tong bangungot, please, wake me up.
Kahapon, when our bunso came home, para itong nakakita ng multo sa kaputlaan ng lips at mukha. She assured us that she was fine. Naniwala naman agad kami at nagpatuloy sa kasiyahan naming lahat na kahit siya ay nakisali.
"She was hysterical earlier when I went inside her room. Hindi niya ako nakilala, Ma! She thought that I was someone who wanted to come get her. She was p-panicking. She even told me to please not hurt her."
Jillian was just there in the coach, crying herself out.
"O-One time, when we were alone ni Cole here, when we were watching a movie, she began to cough too mucj; too much to the point na may dugo nang lumabas..." Our heads automatically snapped to Jill. "She told me that baka nag-rip lang ang throat niya dahil sa kaka-ubo. I was alarmed when it happened but she told me — she told me that it was fine pero I know to myself that it wasn't that's why I tried telling her to let me call any of you p-pero she started to flip and told me not to but nagpumilit ako, tapos she got so angry that she stormed off... T-That was why I remained silent and never told you about it. I'm s-sorry..."
Ano ba 'to, Lord? Bakit ganito? Bakit ang kapatid pa namin?
"Oh, my God."
"Mama, ano 'tong nangyayari?" Jillian asked in disbelief. "What's happening..."
"Tumayo kayo..." Mama stood up first. "Puntahan natin ang kapatid ninyo."
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"Mama, I think it's best if ako muna ang pupunta ulit sakanya." Ate Aika stopped our mother from taking another step towards our Cole's room. "Kakapahinahon niya lang, Mama."
"Aika, please..."
"I'll be out after, Mama." She then went inside Cole's room slowly but after a few minutes of her being inside, the door opened aggressively with ate Aika going out rapidly. "Jill, samahan mo si mama sa baba! Start the car, ihanda ninyo sa harap ng building, dali!"
"Aika, what's happening?!" Our mother began to panic at papasok pa sana nang hilahin na ito Jillian paalis para sundin ang utos ng nakatatanda naming kapatid.
"Ate, what's happening?" I quickly barged inside, only to see our youngest sister lying down lifelessly. "Cole!"
Agaran akong lumalit dito at kinapa ang pulsuhan nito. Tears began to race off my eyes.
"Patty, sa paa mo alalayan ni Cole, ako sa ulo't kamay."
୨୧
I'm currently in the hospital's chapel.
Praying.
Jusko, alam kong napakalaki ng ginawa ko ngayon gabi, patawad po. I just wanted my sister to tell us what she's been hiding for months now and provoking her was the only way that came into my mind. Alam kong mali, pero wala, wala na akong ibang maisip dahil alam kong hindi madadala sa simpleng pakikipagusap ang kapatid ko. It was a very bad move... My sister might not trust me again o baka mas lalayo na'to saakin nang tuluyan.
"Anak?" I lifted my head to where the voice came from. "Tricia..."
"Mama," I hugged her the second she sat down beside me. "I'm sorry."
"It's not me who you should be telling that, Anak." I know, mama, I know. "Tahan na, Anak. Let's just pray that everything will be okay."
"Mama, si bunso?"
"She's fine now, Trish, thank goodness."
"C-Can we go see her now?"
I felt her shake her head lightly. "Hindi pa raw, Anak, eh." She kissed my head. "Trish, paano mo nalaman?"
"Remember the time na isinugod natin si Cole dito when she lost consciousness after her swimming competition?" She nodded, making me continue. "I... I heard her talking to the Doctor in charge when I was in the bathroom. Rinig na rinig kong nakiki-usap si bunso sa Doctor niya na 'wag sabihin sa atin ang findings niya."
"Bakit naman pumayag, jusko..."
"I'm sorry kung ngayon ko lang nagawan ng paraan na para malaman natin, Ma. Napakamali pa ng way ko." I cried onto my mother's chest. "Cole will surely hate me now."
"'Wag mong sabihin, 'yan, Anak. I'm sure your sister will forgive you in time."
"P-Pano kung wala ng time," Tears raced off my eyes. "Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko, Mama. I need to make bawi to my sister."
"Tricia, your sister will forgive you. Alam kong mataas pa ang oras, hindi pwedeng – hindi ako papayag na wala na tayong oras... And Trish, remember that you're the closest to our bunso. She will forgive you, trust me."
"Mama, ipaglaban natin si Nicolette, ha? Let's promise something," I begged. "Hindi na natin siya hahayaang e-bottle up pa ang nararamdaman niya. Iintindihin na natin siya, papakinggan, at aalagaan."
"We'll make her feel more loved."
୨୧
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