'Fragile Strength' is a fanfic centered around Kakashi (from Naruto) and the author's OC Kasuno. It is, of course, a love story.

The plot is kind of all over the place. There's Kasuno and her budding romance with Kakashi, hindered by a disease/curse threatening her life, and the plot essentially consists of the drama this all comes with (perhaps mixed with certain plot points from the Naruto series, but I wouldn't know; I've never seen Naruto).

You see, this is where it gets tricky. 'Popular show character x OC' stories are held to high standards. It needs a strong plot and an OC able to blend seamlessly into the universe you're inserting them in. On top of that, their interactions with the show's characters shouldn't feel out of place, and naturally, the story's prose must be written well in general too.

This is were problems start to arise. The plot was decent, the disease/curse was interesting... but it wasn't particularly strong. It didn't stand out. Why? Because our MC Kasuno couldn't carry it. I couldn't figure out just _what_ she added to the story, the plot, the Naruto universe. She didn't blend in. She felt inserted. Her character didn't stand out. If you asked me to describe her personality right now, I wouldn't be able to. I've seen countless OCs over the years, and Kasuno isn't any different; she only seems to be there for the sake of her romance with Kakashi.

Tricky thing number two. When writing Popular Character x OC, make _absolutely_ sure they have chemistry. Average Reader loves Popular Character. Average Reader does _not_ want to see Popular Character They Love end up with someone they don't feel is 'good enough'. Like I said, OCs are held to a rather high standard, but we've covered that. Point is: You need some crazy chemistry. Kasuno and Kakashi don't have that right now. Yes, there are some cute moments and sweet oneliners, but it's simply not enough to carry the story.

How could we create more chemistry? Well, a good start would be giving Kakashi more screen time. For a main character, he gets very little time to shine. Take more time to show us (and I say _show_, not tell) how his feelings for Kasuno develop and what he's up to in general. You admit in an author's note that the story has a lack of Kakashi, author, and you say that's because you're bad at writing his character. Then why are you writing a story centered around him in the first place? My advice would be to really delve deep into his character and study it to write it more accurately; it can only benefit your story and characterization, promise.

Seeing as I've never seen Naruto, I can't say much about how 'in character' everyone was, but based on what I do know, most was decently accurate. Some characters were a little over-the-top and the humour could be cheesy at times, but I think I'll classify that as staying true to the show; it seems the kind of humour I'd expect from a fic based on a Shounen Anime.

Last but not least… The GPS. Grammar, spelling, punctuation.

You have some work to do, my friend!

There's tense-switching galore. The state of the grammar just kind of saddens me. Misspellings were frequent (my favourite was 'dispissed' instead of 'dismissed'). Punctuation could definitely be more professional. Practice, my dude. Practice. Edit and practice. Learn through trial and error by all means. But from an editorial perspective, this story is a hard-to-follow mess. So before fixing anything that has to do with the plot or characters... Go do some major editing.

This has potential, it does. But there are technical problems in dire need of fixing, and it needs to work on making itself truly stand out.

Rating: 4