《Book reviews *Requests Closed*》'Ready or not (Hailey Jones Book 1)' by freedomgirl007
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'Ready or not' is about the Jones Family. Eric, Kate and their four kids are rich. And not normal rich, no. Scrooge McDuck rich. Jeff Bezos rich. But Eric and Kate are also secretly spies, working for the CIA.
Of course their kids don't know.
However, their oldest daughter, Hailey, harbours some suspicions. But is she ready for the truth, or not?
I feel like this story is what happens when you cross James Bond and Spy Kids.
No, really.
The plot is decent enough. It's entertaining, though I've found it to be extremely unrealistic at certain points. And I know you're not going for realism here, but that much money? Seriously? An example of something severely unrealistic was how Joshua got out of going to military school. He just shows the General a fake email and the man goes 'okay' abd leaves.
What the fuck? That was all it took? You can't do that, especially when you've established the guy as someone who doesn't trust easily. Daddy Blackwell didn't even provide a reason why he changed his mind. And why change his mind after already dropping his son off? Why didn't the General at least call to confirm if the email wasn't fake?
I'm not buying that, and there's more I'm not buying. Entertaining? Yes. Frustrating? Yes.
I'll give the characters another 'decent enough'. While they all seem to have their own distinguished voice and personality, it's… yeah, it's a bunch of rich white people with very few flaws. Well, they do have flaws, but I'd like those to be explored more. It's been established that Eric and Kate are pretty shitty parents; show that. Joshua and all his girlfriends and greed? Make that out to be problematic like it is instead of cool. Let the archetypes and badass factors go, dive into the heads of your characters, and find out what it really is that makes them tick.
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I'd also like to point out that there's a lot of telling in this story, but little showing. Show some more! Show me what a character feels instead of telling me! Don't dump a bunch of backstory on me, sprinkle it all throughout the story to keep the audience interested, and let us connect the dots; it allows you to show a lot more of your character. You said you infodump to stop the story from becoming too confusing, but trust me: if you scatter the info right, there won't be a problem at all.
The GPS is pretty okay. Punctuation errors here and there, but spelling and grammar mistakes, while present, aren't that off-putting. Could be improved, but I wouldn't make it a first priority.
All in all, it's decent, but it could use some work.
Rating: 6
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The Laptop Hero (Portal/Isekai LitRPG)
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge] - April 2022 Silas got summoned to another world—by a group of kids attending magic school who seemed rather unhappy with the results of their ritual. After a brief glimpse of his summoners Silas woke in the town dump. Unable to speak the local language, a misunderstanding escalated and before long Silas wound up in a jail cell, the locals having confiscated all his worldly possessions aside from his laptop, which had formed some strange bond with him. Now he can summon his laptop at will, and he can view his Status, level up, and gain powerful skills and magic as if he were some character in a video game, which is great and everything, but all Silas really wants to do is sit in a dark room and play games on his laptop. Only, life isn't a game, and Silas needs to get his act together because everyone else is playing for keeps. Or does he? Maybe for Silas life is just one big game now, with everyone else stuck playing by his rules. Assorted Disclaimers, in no particular order: I am only posting this on RoyalRoad.com, so if you find my story elsewhere it was not posted by me. Please do let me know! While I do consider this a progression fantasy, and have tagged it as such, Silas's Status improvements will not necessarily proceed in a linear fashion. His RPG stats will have ups and downs, exploits and nerfs, periods of growth and stagnation. Such is the life of a gamer, to be held under the thumb of the all powerful devs, or in this case a certain goddess devoted to the idea of Balance. SIlas himself should learn and grow, improving and progressing in areas where he struggles, or rather, to show such is my goal. The story is told from multiple points of view. While other PoVs will come and go, Silas shall remain the only lead character. The world Silas finds himself on is not a nice place. Expect him to encounter gore and traumatizing content and bad people who do bad things for selfish (or possibly noble) reasons from time to time. Some characters will use profanity, however due to cultural differences the curse words used will differ from those used in our corner of reality, so I'm not including the profanity content warning. Silas himself isn't one for foul language. No explicit sexual content here. This novel is intended for mature readers, however, and will include mature topics, including, but not limited to, sex, violence, death, and taxes. No harem. Might be an eventual romantic interest, possibly even some competitive jealousy, yet as his story begins Silas is too overwhelmed with other concerns to consider long term plans. Musophobics might want to steer clear of this story. Same goes for turophobics. You have been warned. Keep in mind, however, if my other disclaimers didn't make this clear, I only have the faintest of outlines at the moment. This story will take me where it will. My goal with this story is to write it to the end, something of a long-term writing exercise, with the hope others might take an interest in my work and encourage me to keep at it. I've started a number of works before, even finished a few, but this is the first time I've shared any work in a public forum. My temporary cover was made by me, in GIMP using public domain images. If you can do better I'll happily accept your submission and give credit for your work here!
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When Kyra's mother dies after giving birth to her little brother Ihaka, she is left with the choice of staying with her abusive father, or going where she knows he won't follow. Another world entirely. With Ihaka in her arms and nothing but a survival pack on her back, Kyra steps through the newly invented portals to a strange land. Never once looking back. ~~~~ This Novel was written entirely by me. All rights are reserved.
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It's the not-too-distant future and Earth is no more; the planet was accidentally blown up by explosives expert Cole Rapp after being deemed no longer habitable. Humanity (or at least what remains of it) has relocated to nearby newly terraformed Mars to try to start anew.Other than the recent immigrants, no signs of terrestrial life have been found on the fourth rock from the sun. But recent strange sightings and unexplainable fires seem to suggest that Earthlings are not alone. Could it be Martians, mysterious and hostile? Or is it something far more dangerous? (Cover Art Credit: gej302)
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2038, California. Stan is doing his mandatory "volunteer" service years on a collective farm when he encounters Thousand Tales, a game that offers immortality to the super-rich. He can't afford to have his brain uploaded like those elite customers, but maybe he can turn a profit out of the game instead of just playing it. Not as a legendary swordsman or a brilliant wizard, but as a dealer in the junk no one else seems to want. If he plays his cards right, he can draw the attention of both the farm's supervisor and the game's ruling, meddling AI. Should he, though? LitRPG. Part of the world of "Thousand Tales", a novel series on Amazon, though no knowledge of it is expected. This story is around 12K words long. I'd appreciate feedback to help write a much longer version! Updates every few days. Cover art from game-icons.net, by Lorc, CC-BY. Update! This story was originally called "Gleaners' Guild". It came out on Amazon under the name "Crafter's Passion" and has many reviews there, thanks in part to the support of RR readers like you. Thanks! It even has a sequel, "Crafter's Heart".
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Minecraft power in a strange world
a world where there are cultivator, sorcerer and Knight. a boy that could literally punch a tree down is added to it. what will happen? kinda SI, because the protagonist got some of his trait from me. going to be slice of life, with not really a major plot.
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