'Deception' by capturednature

First of all, I would like to apologize for being so late with this review. I genuinely feel guilty about it, mainly because a big part of the review will be pretty much… me dragging the story. Shit, man. I had higher expectations for this.

'Deception' is about Alexandra Rose, a completely ordinary girl who meets a guy called Jackson, who is about to change her life… for the good, and for the bad.

The description sounded promising, but to state it bluntly: this plot is an unrealistic mess. I'll give some examples from the story below to hold up that statement, so spoilers below.

1. Alex is kidnapped. Alex is gone for a few weeks. Somehow, the police isn't mobilized, her bosses don't notice she's gone, her university professors don't notice. When Alex is gone, her life in those instances continues normally. Goddamn, if I didn't show up for work for a few weeks, my ass would be fired

3. Jackson leaves Alex for 6 months and when he returns, Alex doesn't even ask where he's been, what he's done, why he didn't even give a damn good reason for her not to come other than 'there won't be a sweet reunion in the final chapter otherwise'. No, instead of being even a little pissed, which Alex has every right to be, she immediately accepts his proposal.

4. Jackson states he already liked Alex before they met, but hey, when he first kidnaps her, he still acts like a jerk and even physically hurts her, only to turn into a perfect sweet broken boy. And somehow, Alex pretty much always thinks Jackson is perfect and fantastic. Honey, it's okay to have realistic thoughts and actual realistic feelings of disgust to your kidnapper, at least at first. No one will judge you.

The characters are a similar story. The plot is a mess, and the characters are a mess. At some point while reading, I figured I'd start screaming if I saw another instance of Jackson being described as 'perfect' or 'always so handsome'. Alex has a high Mary Sue vibe and Mr. Gibbs is just… too evil for the circumstances, for no good reason whatsoever. The only well written character I actually liked was Lucas. I would throw myself off of a cliff for Lucas.

The GPS is fine, luckily. A few editing mistakes, but nothing too bothering. When it comes to the GPS, this is a pleasant reading experience.

The concept was interesting, the story had potential… it just had some major issues with realism and one-dimensional characters I simply can't overlook. In all honesty, I'd recommend a big rewrite of the story, so it can try to live up to the potential it definitely has. I apologize if my judgment was too harsh, but in my opinion, sugarcoating big issues just isn't the way to go.

Rating: 5