Oh boy where do I start.

This story is about Trevor, a young and succesful bachelor. All he does is sleep around, but one day, he finds a barbie doll at his door. His life is turned around when the doll comes to life.

While the plot is original and interesting enough, I can't help but feel it's poorly executed. For example, death and misery befall the poor person who takes the barbie from the box. So? Why is that? Oh, it doesn't have a reason at all? How nice! It's plotholes like these that weaken a story immensely!

The characters also feel underdeveloped, as if they have a few defining personality traits and don't really have anything else. Do they have hobbies or something? Interests? Try making them more human. That can also be done by, y'know... not making all of them goodlooking. Humans are flawed creatures and your audience connects with characters through these flaws.

The story also needs major editing. Punctuation almost lacks and the repetition of words and overall sloppy editing shows. Try taking some time to fix this!

What I do like is that the female lead is a woman of color, along with more colored characters, so there's diversity. Reading about another stereotypical white girl named MacKayleigh or whatever does get old.

In short: could become a better story than it is right now.

Rating: 5