"You live alone?" Sam asks as soon as I open the door.

"Sometimes mom and Lydi visit. Come in." I pull him in by hand. He's holding my glasses. I had completely forgot about it.

"How is it?" I want to know if he likes the apartment.

"Lots of furniture, why do you need three couches and four tables?" He's nervous, otherwise he'd have commented on the paintings on the wall.

"I like couches. Sit. Did you have lunch?" I'm also nervous and still angry at Lydi and mom for messing with my time.

He sits next to me and takes my hand. "I'm too fidgety for food. Tell me what you decided."

"How much do you charge, you know for a night or is it hourly?" I ask, trying to collect all details.

"Oh, um... It's mostly hourly. Some clients ask for a whole night. Hourly charge is three hundred. Full night and day charges vary. Depending on where they want me to come, stay, things like that."

Three hundred. His one hour is worth a lot more than that.

"If, hmm, let's say you have to escort someone for a year, how much it'll cost? Do you need full payment beforehand? He's not rich..yet. Can he do installments?" This is why I needed time to think. I can't make up plans on the go. I'm blabbering like a fool.

"You want me to escort someone?" Sam's voice has gone hollow.

"Yes, exactly." I nod for good measure. I learned how to nod at school. I don't do it unless it's very important.

"I can introduce you to my contact, Michael- the guy who managed my clients. He can get your friend an escort. I can't."

"Why?"

"Erin, please. Is this one of your shocking game?" His voice breaks.

"What? No. You don't escort?" My fingers reach for his face for reassurance.

"Not anymore, you were my last client."

"Oh, then what about your loans?"

"I paid the most pressing dues with your mother's payment. I then realized... you're worth more than that. Erin, you don't have a clue, what I went through trying to forget you. Anyways, I spent the last year earning what I owe your mother. I have an appointment at three thirty to meet her."

My heart swells, he doesn't have a clue what I went through either. But that's fine. We can save it for pillow talk.

"How did you earn? If not escorting?"

"Cooking, I didn't lie. I'm a decent chef. Got a tour contract from one of my clients, eight months signing tour of an eccentric book author. Now I can pay Mrs.Korksov. But can you forgive me?" He tries to take my left hand from his face. I don't budge.

"What for?" He stopped escorting. What else is there to worry?

"For lying. For getting money to spend time with you. That was so very terrible. You don't deserve it Erin. I should never have agreed to lie. Now, I've ruined us."

I slowly register what he told before.

"I don't get it, Sam. You got paid for your work. Why do you want to return it?"

"Because it was no work. I enjoyed every second of our time together."

I grin. It's so good to hear from him.

"So what? You cook a special dish for a customer, you enjoyed cooking it, wouldn't you charge?" What fucked up logic is this?

"You're not a dish, Erin." Sam sounds exasperated.

"I can be, if you are ready to eat." Blood rushes to my face at my bold comment.

His lips stretch under my fingers, "yeah? One more thing, if you agree, we have to do long distance for at least a year. I'm taking up a job in a restaurant near Bern."

"Why?" Would it be too much if I asked him to come and live here?

"It's better that way, after a year, once I'm established you can join me there and coax some unsuspecting locals into taking you as their accountant. We can be together."

I pinch him. "Why not here?" I ask it anyway.

"Here? Your mom will always think I'm after your money. It'll not be fair to you. I want to sweep you off and show you, how much I don't care about your money."

I'm giddy. "You can show me now."

He cups my face, his fingers are spread along my cheek. "I've to meet your mother. I'll show you later. Am I really forgiven?"

"For not talking to me?"

"Not that, for lying."

"What exactly was a lie? Except what you did for work."

He is quiet for sometime.

"No, that's it. But isn't that huge?"

"Not to me. I was ready to bail you from jail, you know?"

He chuckles. "You might end up doing that when Mrs.Korksov finds us together."

"Forget about her. Why do you love me?"

His fingers trace my lips. "I never said I love you."

"You did. Only blind can hear it." I trace his chin, I so want to kiss him. But more than that I want to hear his answer.

"I'm not a, I'm selling my body not my soul, kind. I don't know how to do it. Sometimes a client wants nothing more than just talking. How can you talk with someone for a whole night but not become their friend? I'm friends with most of my clients. Not close, share our secrets friends. Mor like, say hello when you accidentally bump into each other friends. I knew before even meeting you, that we can't be any kind of friends with these lies. Still I tried to stay truthful as much as possible. I didn't plan on falling for you." He pauses.

I lean on his shoulder. "Yet, you did." Fuck, I sound so smug.

His arm circles my hip, "I did. You're a torrential downpour, I wasn't equipped to stay dry."

Sam has a way with words. His compliments are phenomenal. Torrential downpour. Huh.

"That's it?" I want more.

"What do you want?"

"Sam, you're a pansexual escort. You can have anyone you want, literally. Why did you choose me?"

"Ah, you want ten reasons why I love you."

"Something like that." My face is hot. I snuggle closer to Sam.

"Love doesn't work that way, Erin. I like you for lots of reasons. The way you laugh makes me want to tell stupid jokes. When you say my name, it sounds the best. When you kiss, I die and roam in heaven. When you shock me with your antics, I completely lose myself. But that's not why I love you. I'll love you even when you stop doing all the things I like about you."

"Wow. You're indeed an expert escort." I fallback to teasing him, to avoid the tingling in my stomach and heart and literally everywhere.

"You don't believe me. I don't care if you don't believe my definition of love. Please believe that I'm not here for your money. My past as an escort has nothing to do with what I want with you."

"I believe you on both accounts." My arm circles his waist.

"Will you come to Bern?"

"I can't. Not permanently. I've a business here." I sound like some big shot business man.

"What business?"

"Do you remember the sticky place?"

"With great soup? Yes."

"I'm its owner now and I own their secret recipe as well. Also I'm looking for a chef." I finish in a rush. I never thought I would get to tell this in person, leaning on him, smelling him with our arms around each other. This is the perfect way to inform him.

"Oh... How? Why? When?"

"How? She wanted a buyer who knew how to clean a scallop. She was impressed when a blind man did it. I trained beforehand just for this, don't tell her that. When? Two weeks ago. Why? To lure you back to this sleepy town and seduce you. I didn't even knew you were planning to work in restaurant, I simply thought you'd like it. Now that I think about it, the boss and chef chemistry is super hot."

He pinches my nose. "I'm not here for super hot chemistry, I want a balanced stable relationship. Boss and employee won't work."

"So you don't want my slave position?" I can't say I'm surprised.

He laughs. "Nope, as tempting as it is to bend for you, I prefer not to be on your payroll."

Finally, a flirty comment. Sam's losing his nervousness.

"Um.., what if I offer you partnership?"

"I don't have money Erin. Plain and simple. I have nothing, I have to start over again. I wasn't planning to come here today, I was supposed to meet your mother, give the money and leave, I wanted to wait until I had earned enough to take you with me before coming to you. But I couldn't help myself, instead of booking a room in Syracuse, I booked here. And then I couldn't sit at the room. I just wanted to see you, to know if you have moved on. To beg you not to move on. I started shivering like an addict in need of a fix." His voice has so much anguish, I can taste it in my tongue.

I tighten my hug. "Good. Don't give the money to mom. She—"

He closes my mouth. "No. It's only right."

"Listen, you idiot. What's going to change? Is she going to think that you are not after my money? No way. She'll curse you more. Do you think it'll change my opinion of you? Fuck, no. You lied to me and took advantage of my innocence and broke my heart into hundred million pieces and left me to suffer alone. You returning the money now won't change that fact, would it?"

There is no sound, absolute silence. "Sam?" I reach for his face. Small tremors spread from his back. He's shaking. "Oh, please, are you crying?" His face is wet. His sobs rock both our bodies.

"I'm sorry." His voice is all watery, I hate it. I pull his head to me and kiss his forehead. I aimed for it but my lips touch his hair. I kiss it anyway.

"I'm just trying to make you understand. Nothing will change. Don't give the money, become my partner in the restaurant."

He shakes his head, his hair tickles my lips. I press it for another kiss.

"You don't even know how much I owe her. You just say this to keep me here." He complains in low voice.

"Fine. The restaurant was one twenty thousand. I'm offering fifty percent partnership. How much do you have?"

"One twenty? That's so cheap. Are you lying?"

"Get up and go to the second room on your right there's a locker, the comb-"

He stops me. "I have a forty thousand check to give her."

I'm beyond insulted. "Forty? That's all? You should have asked for more."

"It's more, believe me. That was my one year salary as a cook."

Shit. Snobbishness runs in my blood, not everyone is born into wealth, I sometimes forget that I was lucky.

I nuzzle his ear, I hate his sad voice. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Um.. you can buy the partnership with it. We can workout the details and make it fifty percent partnership, after all you are going to cook as well. Deal?"

"No...I still think Bern is a better idea." He says.

"Sam!! You're trying my patience. Fine, we can go to Switzerland. How long have you lived there? You don't have any accent."

"I've never been there."

I detach myself from him, "What do you mean? Who is in Switzerland then?"

"My cousin. Did you like the cards?"

"Very much. Where do you live?"

"As of now in the hotel. I mostly lived in New York. If you-"

What the fuck?

"You are from New York?" I ask anger rising up.

"Yes... Though, I was in a tour... working, most of the last year." He is confused why I'm angry.

I clutch his collar. "You were here. Right in States? Fucking New York!! Just hours away? How dare you? How could you? I missed you. I missed you so much, that I was dying slowly. You didn't think of visiting me?"

"I was waiting to finish earning what I owed."

I slap him. "Is that even a reason?? Help me understand!! You didn't meet me because your fucking pride was in line. Is that it?"

I shake him. "You could have called!!!" A whole fucking year I had nothing but his cards and letter. Daily cried myself to sleep. For what? Sam was right here! Without even making one fucking phone call!

My hand connects with his face for another hit. Then another, then another. His head, shoulder, chest, I hit him with both my hands fisted, all my frustration seeping out of me in angry bursts. I don't know when I climbed on his laps, "You sent two line cards!!" I slap his chest, "from fucking Switzerland!!" My next hit lands on his face, I'm too angry to care. "Here I was thinking of visiting you there. But all this fucking time, you were a ride away! Do you have any fucking idea of how much I missed you? Even now, I thought you didn't come to States because you were saving money to pay your loan!! I thought you had some very big problem in Bern that kept you away from me!!" I no longer know where I'm hitting or punching, I'm far gone in my own misery and anger. I wasn't this angry in a long time.

My hands become limp with fatigue after so much punching and hitting, my throat goes raw from all my screaming, suddenly I feel very tired. Sam kisses my cheek, it's wet.

"Please don't cry, I'm sorry, so very much. I didn't want to give you false hope. It didn't feel right to make you wait when I had no way of knowing how long it would take me to close my loans and save money to repay your mother. Loans are the big problem for me Sam. I had been trying to solve it for very long. I wanted to clear all the mess, before talking to you. I didn't want you to think that I'm interested in your money. If I had told you that I had big loans, you'd have paid it. Then why anyone would believe that I wasn't after your money? It wasn't pride Erin, I wanted to have a fair chance, I wanted to have a yes, from you.. without any doubts about why I need you. I missed you too. So much. It hurt." He whispers.

I rest my head on his neck. What Sam says makes sense. Not that I'd have doubted his love, I'm not mom. She thought dad was after her money because he used her inheritance in business right away after marriage. I'm not her. I definitely won't think like mom even if Sam spent every dollar of mine. But Sam doesn't know that. I sighed. And finally what I did registers. I assaulted Sam. He didn't stop my punches. He let me slap and punch him for all I'm worth, while holding me securely on his lap, keeping me from falling down. Shame creeps it's head. I hit him like a maniac. No one stayed near me when I get this angry. They leave me to vent it out on my own. I've an anger relieving custom hammer made of foam. Mom got it for me after dad's funeral. Dad was the only person who was brave enough to get near me when I got angry. Shit, mom and Lydi are in some room right now, listening to this. They'll be horrified. No, they're right here, watching this. I can smell mom's perfume.

"Go away, Mom!!!" I scream. I asked them to hide!!

Sam jumps or tries to, he ends up wiggling with me still on his lap.

"Oh, Mrs. Korksov." He pushes me from his lap.

"I thought you're going to kill him, Erin." Lydi says, her voice was low, shaken.

Was I that bad? Did I hurt Sam?

"Thanks for your opinion, Lydi. Leave." I snap feeling guilty. I'll make it up to him.

"He should leave. He's not welcome here." Mom says.

I'm angry again. "Stop it. This is my house. And he is the only one who is welcome right now!"

Sam's hand lands on my lap, pressing firmly.

"Ma'am, I love your son. I understand why it must be difficult for you to believe. I would not believe if I were you."

"You would make a very bad lawyer." I grumble.

"I thought you would be professional. That's why I hired you. You seduced my son, for his money. How much do you want? I'll pay. Here, I'll pay this!" Mom throws something on the table.

"What's this?" After the sound of paper turning, "Why is your confidentiality agreement here?" Sam asks surprised.

"To tell me what a scheming bastard you are." I say and lean back on his shoulder, I can't get enough of his scent. It's not just the perfume. It's Sam's own smell, mix of perfume and Sam.

"You told him? You knew already? What scheme?" Sam's head swings sideways.

I take pity on him and explain. "She told me after I met you today. They both assumed by forcing her to break the agreement, you were planning to encash it."

He laughs. It's the bitter laugh, like the one in the recording.

"No ma'am. I don't want money. Just Erin."

"You think I'm naive like my son? You want all of his money! You're going to make him sign all his to your name."

I laugh at that. "Hilarious mom." She thinks I'm still a little boy.

"She's correct. She has no reason to believe me. Why do you believe me Erin?"

I groan. "Because I'm not stupid." If he wanted he could have chosen a sugar daddy or mommy from one of his clients. Instead of dating a blind man for a mere forty thousand. But that's not why I believe him. He has the most honest voice. Above all, I don't doubt his actions. Every action of his was sincere, as he said, he has put his soul into it and the greedy bastard I am, I stole his soul for my own keep sake. Mom would scoff if I say that out loud.

"That's not an answer." Sam scolds.

"Okay. I'll give you the perfect answer. Mom, you should shut up and leave. Agreed?" I'm gonna shut her up.

"No. I'll tell you why your answer is wrong." She sings, too smug. I think I got my smugness from mom.

"If he was planning to con my money, he wouldn't have made me promise to date other guys. He wouldn't have advised you to release your shark in ocean." My smugness is so thick ten folds better than mom's.

Pin drop silence.

"How did you know? I left that message to your mother." Sam recovers first.

I kiss his neck. "We record the company phone lines. Being blind and all, I accidentally stumbled upon your message."

"What shark?" Lydi asks. I forgot she is even here.

I reach forward with my hand, she takes it and sits next to me.

"He had left a voicemail for mom. 'Erin isn't shy, he is a shark, your lake doesn't have enough food for him, release him in sea and watch him conquer.' Cool isn't it?"

Sam pinches my arm. I grin, I'm going to tease him to death.

"I'm sure it's a line from some movie. You seriously can't believe that?" Mom asks me with all seriousness.

"Mom, please. You're offending Erin." Lydi says.

"Why is everything I say is offensive? I want to protect him. I can't let him associate with money sucking devils!" she yells.

"Ma'am, I wish to take the money out of the equation. I'll sign a contract that'll allow you to sue me if I take a single cent from Erin. Or you move his assets to your own trusts. I don't care. I'm sure you can think of something to cut me off." Sam says. He has thought of this thoroughly.

"You're talking like you're marrying him." Mom is horrified.

So much blood is rushing to my face, I hide it in Sam's shoulder. It definitely sounds like prenup. Maybe we will get married before Lydi. Wow.

"Well, you're worried. I'm just trying to help." Sam tries to save himself from his slip.

"What will people think, Mr. Fink?" Mom asks.

"Who is Fink, why can't you tell me who the fuck is in my living room?" I ask. Being blind is sometimes irritating, how did I miss someone coming in?

"Oh, you don't even know his last name?" Mom's voice is filled with glee.

I ignore her. I've a bigger fish to fry.

"Fink? Seriously? Sam Fink." I set off laughing. "Orky and Inky!!" I roar again, Sam's arm sneaks around my back, gripping my hip in silent promise.

"Oh my God. Can you stop playing for a minute? We're discussing your life here." Mom's irritation is nothing new. She still thinks she can discuss my life and decide it for me.

"What were you asking Mr.Fink?" I ask, mocking her.

"What will I tell our family and friends? Oh, meet Erin's boyfriend. He's a prostitute."

Lydi gasps.