"Mom is worried, tell me the truth. Is it Sam?" Lydi links our arms. I love her visits. She doesn't come daily like mom. But that may have something to do with the fact that she lives in New York City.

"Yes."

"Why babe? You knew going in that it's short term. Why are you still stuck up on him?" Her question is valid, I want to tell her why. She'll understand. If anyone can understand, it's her.

"Is mom hiding somewhere, spying on us?" I never know for sure, she could be under the bed.

Lydi laughs. "She's still at the office."

I get up and fetch the treasure.

The farewell letter and three cards. The third came yesterday.

It read, '

I hand it all over to Lydi and lean on her shoulder. She shuffles them.

"Oh. He wrote this? What does it say?" She's excited.

"The letter? It says, I'm the best attraction of this town. Does the cover have anything on it?" I recently realized that covers will have non braille writings on them.

"No, it's blank. These cards, the cover has your address. It's international post. Wait.. I found the place. Bern." She jumps up from bed, I pull her down.

"It's in Switzerland." I say.

"Oh, you already knew?"

"He told me."

"Are you guys doing long distance?" There is the sound of folding paper.

"Careful, don't tear it. We're not doing anything. I just know his place. Nothing else."

"This last card cover has a website address. Let me lookup."

Lydi taps on her phone, I finger the card.

"It's a personalized greeting cards company, they specialize in braille and audio cards, they add our chosen scent to the card with a message. Cool idea. Does yours smell?" She inhales sharply. I don't think any of them have any scent left in them, maybe the recent one does.

"Yes, they did." Sam didn't touch them then.

"We can inquire. They may have an email id at least." She elbows me.

Something isn't adding up.

"Lydi, only the latest card has the website?"

"Why? Yeah. The other two are old. Mmm.. the company itself is new, they started only this new year. Huh."

Lydi goes silent, thinking.

Someone is using his idea, with his permission.

"The company knows Sam." I say.

"Exactly, let's contact them. There's an email id."

"Lydi, no. He has our home address, if he wanted he could have reached out. He never promised me anything more, you know. He said he can't. It means he can't." I want to cry.

"Then why did you show me?"

"I was curious if there is anything on the covers."

"Hmm. I feel bad. He learnt braille for you. Is he any good?" She's jealous. She learnt the alphabets with me but then it became too difficult for her to concentrate with fingertips.

"He copied it from online translator."

"Smart. You should let him go baby. This isn't good." She strokes my hand.

"I don't want to. I like this."

"Stubborn. Just like mom."

I laugh. "Yep."

"You sure, you don't want to find him?"

"Later maybe. Not now." I don't know what to ask him if I find him.

She kissed my cheek. "You like suffering, I hope you find the courage to talk to him."

I keep thinking about it after she left. I've courage, our last date had given me that. When he asked for my kiss, all my insecurities vanished. The way he clung to me as I sucked his lips, is etched in my brain. His rock hard pressing into my thigh had given me all the confidence I needed.

No, I've courage to ask. I don't have the heart to hurt him by asking. I once did that. Not again.

His voice broke when he said he couldn't do boyfriends. Maybe he cried. I won't make him cry again. His hugs and kisses told me how much he liked the idea of being boyfriends. So I know he didn't reject me. My whole body shivers with the memory of our last hug. He crushed me into him, his whole body wrapped me in a warm cocoon. I'd have stayed there till the apocalypse. But Ed called, asking us to join the party.

I interviewed Ed later, after Sam left the town. Even though Ed's job is driving, he is like a family member. Dad used to play cards with him to Mom's chagrin. I loved to talk with him, he is an unassuming man, with no goals. He lives for the current moment.

"What do you think of Sam?"

"He is smart." Ed was washing one of the cars. The water splashing and his wiping were the only sound in the garage area.

"How do you know?"

"He chose you. That's a brilliant example for his smartness."

My face heated up. "How did he look?"

"Why do you care?" Ed was like that. He made things difficult. He asked cross questions without answering.

"I like hearing that he is handsome." I replied with honesty.

"Why?"

"It makes me feel good, a handsome guy, who is smart and funny likes me. A blind, ugly guy." I never voiced these thoughts out loud. Now I wanted someone to tell me that I deserved Sam. That Sam should feel lucky that I liked him.

Suddenly a sprout of water hit me squarely on my face. "Ed!!" I shouted in surprise.

"Your dad would have slapped you. I can only do this." Ed said.

"Sorry."

He took my hands. "Don't listen to your mom. She is still living in her old village, her beliefs are not correct. During their first year of marriage she thought that your dad married her for her money. It took your dad years to make her believe otherwise. She thinks the same now for her kids. She's worried that money is the only thing people will see about you. She thinks there's nothing else to like."

"Isn't that true?"

"Erin, you know it's not true. Take this Sam for instant, the second he spotted you, his face brightened up with such a big smile. He didn't even blink, he was grinning like a kid in the candy shop. That's not for dollars. That's for you, the man, who impressed him. You being blind or not being handsome is nothing, a smart man knows that. Sam is smart, he knew what a treasure you are." I cried on his shoulder, unable to believe that I let Sam go without fighting harder.

Booting my laptop, I decide to do my favorite pastime and take my mind off of Sam.

Listening to recordings of office phone conversation is fun. It's like people watching for sighted. I people-listen. All our branches' phone lines are recorded, it's in cloud storage. There was never a security need to actually use them. I'm the only user.

I love hearing people talk about their colleagues and supervisors. I've few favourites. Macy-mom's secretary. She hates mom. Macy has a friend in check dispatch team-Rory. They talk trash about mom. They're so funny.

I load up the recordings and search for the calls between their desk numbers, voice commands are the best when I'm lazy but I try to use the keyboard as much as possible to keep in touch with my English typing skills.

'𝙽𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚊.'

The automated voice replied.

That's interesting. I go back and forth changing the dates. Nothing. One of them got fired?

I load up everything from Macy's. She has a soothing voice. I press play and lie down. All are the usuals, people asking her to get an appointment with mom and rescheduling and her taking notes from mom. I wonder how she lasted twenty years on this job.

A jolt passes through me. I sit back up and press replay.

"Can you take a message for Mrs.Korksov?"

Sam's voice. When did he talk to mom? Is he trying to reach me? My fingers fumble as I struggle to bring up the recordings date and time. I give up and say it.

"What is the created date for the currently playing file?"

'𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚂𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗.'

I rub my face, confused, that's last year, after he left. Why would he call mom's office?

"Resume."

The audio resumes.

"Sure. Is this business or personal?" Macy asked.

"Personal, if it's possible." Sam's voice didn't have any mirth it usually had. He sounded like our postman, lifeless.

"We can do that, wait for the beep and record your message, it'll directly go to her voice messages."

"Thanks." Sam replied.

'𝙴𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎, 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝?'

Shit, the next part would be in mom's desk number's recordings.

"No, load Vanessa Korksov's desk recording of the same date and close to the same timestamp and increase the volume to eighty percentage."

'𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍. 𝙻𝚘𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎. 𝚅𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚎.'

"Hello Mrs. Korksov." Sam's voice fills the room.

I grip my blanket. Why? Why did he call her?

"This is to update you, that I left yesterday. I hope you are happy with whatever you've achieved with this. I kept my promise, keep yours. You don't owe me anything. It's... it's... Nevermind. Don't worry about the money you offered. I don't want anything more. That's all I wanted to say."

There was a pause.

"A piece of advice, free of cost. He isn't shy, not in the least. He's a shark. Your lake doesn't have enough to vet his appetite. Let him out into the ocean and watch him conquer. Good day, Ma'am."

'𝙴𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎, 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝?'

I sit there mind reeling. My cheeks are wet, Sam.. oh my fucking god...this is it. This is the reason. Mom is the reason.

"Bookmark this as Sam and load all the files from February Seven to fifteen for the same contact."

'𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛?'

"Two thousand and fifteen."

'𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜. 𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚕?'

"Yes, in ascending order."

'𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎.'

I listen to every fucking recording. After an hour I hit a jackpot. It was on the day he met Lydi. Before I called him.

"Hello?"

"Sam? This is Mrs.Korksov."

"Yes, mam."

"I think you should leave."

"Oh, did he ask someone else?"

The disappointment in his voice is sharp.

"No, no. I think it'll be you. You've already gone on three dates. I wasn't expecting that."

"Three? Only two."

"You've spent close to an hour in the coffee shop. I'm considering that as a date."

"Oh."

"As I said, I'll pay you. I don't think this is good for him."

"Why?"

"You'll be gone in few days, but he doesn't seem to care about it. He is getting too involved. Just leave."

Sam sighed. "I can't leave now. As you said, I'll be gone in few days. What difference does it make to you?"

"What difference does it make to you? I'll pay you double." She's irritated.

"Mrs. Korksov, you can't buy everything with money. You may not think so, but even people like me have some principles. I promised him that I'd be here till the weekend. I intend to keep it. Anything else?"

Sam's unyielding voice is new to me. I've not heard him talk seriously before, let alone in such an authoritative tone.

She exhales. "Just don't hurt my boy."

Sam's responding laughter was bitter. "Sure."

I download both the files to my phone and shut the laptop. I need to think, I need to listen to Sam some more. I need to cry, I need to scream, I need to hit something, I need to break something. But for now, I want Sam. I put on my headphones and set the two recordings on repeat.

My pillow is soaking wet before I fall asleep.