Atlanta, Georgia

11:09 AM

March 6, Thursday

"Girl who the hell is this?"I asked Natasha rhetorically as I turned the radio down and showed her the number that was calling my phone.

"Put it on speakerphone."she said and I did so.

"Hello?"

"Umm hi Kodi this is Victoria. I'm calling because I haven't heard from or seen Scarr in two days. On Wednesday afternoon when I came home, the boys were here alone and they've been here with me ever since today. He didn't tell us he was leaving, he just left. Do you know where he could be?"she said and I looked at Natasha.

"Umm no I actually don't, did you try calling his phones?"

"Yes I did but they keep going to voicemail."

"You tried both of them?"

"Yea I tried all three of them."

"Damn."Natasha chuckled.

"Damn okay did you try his mama?"

"Yes I tried his mom she said she hasn't seen him."

"What about his friend's and cousin's?"

"Yes they don't know anything. You don't have a clue of where he could be?"

"Not at all. Umm there is something that I do want you to know about him, I'm not sure if you already know or not but it will maybe help your relationship with Scarr. Umm he's Bipolar and sometimes he just ups and leaves like th—"

Natasha looked at me like yeah right.

"He cheating on her ass."she mouthed quietly to me and I stopped looking at her dumb ass.

"So will he be back orrr??"

"Yes he will just give him some time."

"How much time? I- I don't know how all of this works that's why I called you."

"Dumb bitch."Natasha whispered.

"Give him however long he may need. It could be days, weeks, or even a month, no more than a month though."

"Okay because we've been dating for about a year and he hasn't done any of this before."

"He don't want you."Natasha whispered again and I kind of chuckled.

"Yeah this occurs when he hasn't took his meds prescribed for his disorder. Right now he's just having an episode, he'll be fine."

"So what can I do to help him. Like I said, I don't know how all of this goes."

"Leave dummy."Natasha whispered and I hit her.

"First you need to do some research. Next you need to learn him based off of what you learned. Then you need to— since you are his girlfriend, fiancé, or whatever you are to him, you need to talk to his doctors about his medication. It's seeming like he's not on it anymore. After that there's nothing more you can do but continue to learn him. Most of all though talk to his doctor and make him take his meds, you have to make him. But yeah he's gonna come back just give him time."

"Okay thank you so much. I didn't know that, nobody told me anything not even him. I've just been here taking all of this in and knowing what to do."

"Mhm I'm about to come pick up Sevyn and Malakai so can you let them know that I said be and ready."

"Yeah of course. Thank you so much, I hate that w—"she began to say but I hung up.

Bitch we're not cool, you still be dissing me on twitter and shit.

I kind of do feel bad for her though because I know how hard it can be dealing with Scarr while he's in this state, especially if he hasn't took his meds.

Sometimes he's happy and very energetic then sometimes he's depressed and violent.

Then you just never know if you'll wake up to an overly excited husband or one that's still on your ass about some shit that happened in the past.

Yea it can be very hard but I mean if you get him to stay on top of his meds and therapy then he'll be fine.

"Why the fuck you hang up on her like that?"Tasha laughed.

"'Cause that bitch is fake, I know one when I see it."I said before making a u-turn.

I drove to Scarr's house which was thirty minutes away to pick up Kai and Sevyn.

"Heaven!"I heard someone whisper to me and I turned around looking at my friend, Naomi.

She was pointing at the door and I looked at it seeing Zay waving for me to come out.

"Mmcht."I chuckled while looking at him.

I packed all of my stuff back up into my backpack and putting it on before going to the teachers desk.

"Mrs. Green?"

"How may I help you?"

"You mind if I go speak with the counselor?"

"Yes I do mind. No you may not."

"Why not? This is a serious matter, I'm in trouble at home."

"You wanna talk to me about it?"

"No you're a science teacher."

She looked at me before writing me a pass.

Once I got it, I walked out and closed the door.

Zay hugged me and he chuckled.

"What you tell her filet mignon head ass?"he asked me and I chuckled.

"That I needed to go speak to the counselor about something serious."

"See that's why you my lil gangster."

"Where we going?"

"Shit it's my lunchtime, where you trynna go?"

"Chick-fil-A maybe?"

"Bet."

"Wait ain't they gone have to do a schedule check? I've never done this before."

"I know another way out, come on."he said and I followed him.

When we got outside we walked out to the back of the school and went out of one of the gates.

"How you find that spot?"I asked him.

"Don't worry bout it, just don't tell nobody."

"I won't tell no-body."I said as we walked to his all black Hellcat charger.

I got inside along with him.

Once we were settled inside, he pulled off and drove to Chick-fil-A.

His music was loud and he was driving fast as hell, I was scared straight but I also kind of liked the way he was driving.

When he pulled up to Chick-fil-A we sat in the drive-thru which was kind of long.

He fired up a blunt and I looked at him.

"I'm not doing this with you again."I shook my head no.

"Why not?"

"I got my cars took from me because of that."

"What you need your cars for when I can drive you around?"

"My parents don't know you like that."

"I already met 'em so it ain't shit more they can do to me."

"Okay let me hit it."I said and he handed the blunt to me.

I hit it a couple of times before handing it back to him.

"Aye you trynna go back or nah? I just got a idea."

"Go back to school?"

"Yeah."

"I have to, I got a test for one of my college credit classes."I said and he sucked his teeth.

"Fuck that test, you can make it up."

"No I have to go back."

"If we go back we both going to either iss or they gone suspend our ass."

"How you know?"

"We been snuck out and we've been smoking."

"Mmcht."I sucked my teeth while instantly catching an attitude.

"So what are we gonna do after this?"

"Shit head to my crib and just chill."

"No you have to take me back."

"Why!? Do you really want to go back!?"

"Yes, what if my parents are there to pick me up early!!? What if they're looking for me now!!?"

"Mmcht man ain't none of that shit happening, trust me."

"Okay ima take your word on this but I'm not doing it again."

"Aight that's cool."he said and I nodded while getting on my phone.

I know everybody looking for me and I didn't really mean to leave, but I just had to get away from all of the bullshit I got going on in my life.

I just been going like my life is good and like I'm happy but ain't none of that shit true.

Not only did I fuck up the best thing that has ever happened to me but I also fucked up a lot of shit in the past that still Fuchs with my head till this day.

As much as I want to free that shit form my mind, I can't.

I have nightmares about mfs who I done killed before, I be hallucinating and shit, voices talking to me in my head, and a whole lot of other stupid shit going on.

I wish this shit could stop and I want it to stop but it won't.

I can't lie and say my meds don't help because they do but they also come with a whole lot of other side affects that I ain't trynna fuck with.

A fucking therapist can't do shit but listen to my sob story and still be happy at the end of the day.

It's just like it's me versus me, I fucked up too much and now I can't change a damn thing.

I honestly just wanna quit hurting other mfs and put away these demons so that I can stop hurting other people.