Atlanta, Georgia

8:25 PM

April 2, Friday

I stood in the room staring myself in the mirror and thinking about everything.

It's been a whole year and I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Heaven, two months ago and I'm still not happy.

My brother is dead, my parent's are still locked up, Scarr is locked up, and Makayla is somewhere living her best life.

I just feel so lost and I'm pretty sure if it weren't for Heaven, I would've been resting with Kobi.

I heard a loud thud before Heaven began screaming crying.

"What you don't fucking hear her crying!?"Jean spat as the room door hit the wall and he picked her up out of her bed.

I just stared at him as he bounces her while holding her close to him.

He stood there looking at me and I put my head down before breaking down.

I heard the door close and I fell to the floor.

This was literally everyday and there was nothing I could do in order to stop my thoughts from running wild.

Part of me just wants to disappear from the face of this earth and another part of me just wants to be the perfect mom and give my daughter the life she deserves.

I can't even do that because I'm so down bad right now.

Jean has been pressuring me about something at his new club and I honestly don't even know what it is because every time he asks me about it, I ignore him.

I really just want to fucking die like there isn't anymore hope for me, my life is fucked up.

Jean came in here without Heaven and I wiped my face before looking up at him.

"Where is she?"I asked him as he sat down in front of me.

"In her room watching tv in her swing. Come here."he said while patting his lap.

I crawled to him and sat on it.

He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into the crook of his neck before crying.

We literally sat there for about ten minutes and when I was finished he started talking to me.

"Listen baby I tried to refer you to a therapist that didn't work, you had Heaven that didn't work, and ya granny's prayers ain't seeming to work out so that leaves you with this."he said while showing me a picture of a girl sliding down strip pole.

"The only way you can get there is if you come on over to Greenlight and manage it for me. You said you wanted to get back to work and your business went down the drain, maybe this'll help you until you get on your feet."

"I'm not working in your club Jean..."I said while wiping my face and getting up and going to grab some tissue.

"This ain't my first time asking you and it ain't gone be my last."he said while appearing in the bathroom doorway.

"Why isn't it!? If I just told you that I'm not working at your fucking club, I'm not working at your fucking club."I said while blowing my nose.

He sighed hard and I tried to walk out of the bathroom but he blocked my way and unfolded his arms.

"Can you move now I'm trynna get to the room!?"I asked him and he grabbed my arms and shoved me into the wall.

"Bitch I give you a shoulder to cry on every fucking night, I pay the bills, I put food in your mouth and our daughter's, I buy y'all all of this fancy shit, and you still can't do me a fucking favor!!?"he yelled in my face and I cried.

Jean is usually never this upset about any thing so I was scared straight.

He let me go before walking away and I followed after him.

"You know what Jean, fuck you!! You ain't a real man, you ain't shit but a piece of shit!! Ever since the day that bitch walked up into your house and you acted as if you weren't fucking on me, you ain't been shit since then. Then you think ima work for you!? I'll be damned. You so lucky though because I would've been took your ass down, you and all of your corrupt businesses. Then you think I'm supposed to walk around this bitch with a smile on my face because I'm fucking with you! Bitch Heaven ain't even yo fucking baby, you so fucking full of yourself that you didn't even realize she doesn't even look like your ugly as—"I spat before I felt words being slapped from my mouth.

It didn't end there though, I fell asleep with a bloody face, broken finger nails, and an extremely sore body.

I'm not sure what was said before he left with Heaven but all I know is that I had to get the fuck out before he killed me.