CHAPTER SONG - Love Me Hard, Elley Duhe

4 months later

"Mateo Ramos."

The crowd clapped, and somewhere in the stand's you could hear Ash whistling and screaming at the top of his lungs. Even Maddox beside me was on his feet, screaming and cheering with the biggest grin, as if he was sending his own kid off to kindergarten or some. The idea made me giggle, but even I clapped along with them. Sure, the teachers were scowling from the stage, and the blenchers but no one seemed to care. Technically, we aren't supposed to be standing, or clapping for others until after everyone is called on stage but what are they going to do now? We graduate today.

Mateo crossed the stage in a careless matter, and bored expression. He grabbed the diploma out of the principles hand without even stopping, without shaking his hand, or even looking in his direction. And with that, he walked off the stage. It's the best we were going to get because after all we practically had to beg him to get up there to begin with. He was more than happy to just have it mailed, and to not do all this. "What's the point?" he asked, standing behind the punching bag and holding it as we all surrounded him. Yes, we had a sort of intervention for him, and our need to get him to cross the stage. In the end, he wasn't happy about it, but there he is.

Maddox dropped back down beside me; a proud grin stretched across his face. And since both of our last names fell in the V category, we were sat together. Which, if I have to say, is not all that bad. Since we came to some agreement that we were friend's now, or best friends, I found myself enjoy his strangely sly persona. Not that it stopped us from constantly bugging each other, but it was a good bug. The kind that made him feel like an older brother I never had.

Even now, as he throws his arms behind my chair and tips his head backwards to see Ash doing one of his final whistles from the crowd, I get this running urge to hug him. Maybe because I know a lot about Maddox now. I have learned his body movements, and facial expression, and even his snappy attitude. I know what it all ties back too, and sadly, it's nothing happy.

He lifted his hand, flipping off Ash. "You think he will lose his voice by the end of his? Maybe we can finally have a quite dinner for once."

"His still Ash. He will find a way to make it none quite." I answered, lifting my own hand and waving at him. He stood in the bleachers, waving with both hands that made Maddox and I chuckled. Then, we both cringed when he hopped down and clearly banged his leg into the side of the bleacher. I would say maybe he will learn his lesson to be more careful, but we all know that's not in the cards for him.

We turned back to the stage. "Ah, forgot to say. Did you finally understand what DRS means? Or still clueless?" Maddox asked, glancing at me.

I sighed. Last night, Ash spent about forty minutes explaining to me what DRS meant in the Formula one language. Apparently, it's important, and a key instrument in overtaking. But forty minutes later, and several research pages and I'll be honest, I'm still confused. I never expect google to fail me, but there's a first for everything. "I still have no clue what it means." I replied.

Maddox smirked. "You want the easy explanation? It's basically a flap in the car, that when flipped will make the overtake easier and let's the car travel faster."

I gaped at him. "Your kidding?" I asked in shock. Google did not make it that simple, and Ash made it sound like some top-secret plan to take down the world. That is not complex at all. "Why do they make it sound so complicated?"

"Should have come to me, sweetheart. I told you I'm best at everything." he winked, making me roll my eyes at him. And just as I was about to respond to him, Ash's whistled again, and the announcer called out, "Kirsan Ramos."

Maddox jerked to his feet again, clapping and cheering. I was not so quick, and my movement were still a little slower since the surgery two months ago. I'm healed, but like they said, recovery has not been easy, and any sudden movement have been painful. The doctor said that should go away with time too, and that I just need to let my body heal. Mateo's recovery was quicker, and he was already working out, and training with Madds again but I have been slower. And much to my mom's disagreement, I have been basically living in Mateo's house. His parents didn't care and preferred it. And Mateo has been fussing over me like, well, like I just got out of surgery.

It's been a slow, painful, and wonderful two months. I couldn't be happier, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Even now, as I sit here and wish I could stand to clap for Kirsan, I'm happy just being here to see it. And Kirsan, well, he walked the stage not any better than Mateo. He too looked like he rather be anywhere else but here as he padded down the stage holding the diploma, and in a green gown.

I glanced at Maddox as he sat down and noted the way he cleared his throat. "Don't tell me you're going to cry." I joked, but he didn't respond. Instead, he looked forward onto the stage with a blank expression and bounced his knee. I have learned enough to know that his currently feeling something, and he wasn't going to openly let others see.

The best friend duties are crystal clear though. "Madds." I said, straightened up and tugging at my hat that keeps slipping off my head. I made sure not to reach for him to quickly, or to make any sudden movement as I sat there.

He sighed, rolling out his neck and forcing his knee to settle. "I'm fine, sweetheart. Shit, I just never expected to see him walk that stage." he explained, his gaze searching Mateo in the crowd. "I knew after I got back, I knew he wasn't doing well, and I couldn't do anything. I was still reeling myself back, and a part of me didn't think either of us would make it to this day."

I watched his shoulders fall when he finally found Mateo across the field. Standing on the side of the stage and talking to Kirsan. I learned, from Kirsan, that both of them have attachment issues with each other. That they can't fully relax until the other is in sight. And he has explained that it goes back to when Maddox was kidnapped. For Mateo, it's about reminded himself that Maddox is back. And for Maddox has about reminded himself that his back and for some reason, his made Mateo as his reminded. Hence, the serious attachment issue.

I cringed, because I thought I wouldn't see this stage, and if I'm being honest a part of me was okay with that. I get Maddox though, I understand what he means because I leaned just what kind world, and life they have been living in. In that moment, when the gun was pointed at me, I understood. It was as if my life was being ripped away from me, and for Mateo, I was willing to not fight it. And that's what they been feeling. They have been ready to sacrifice themselves for each other, and they never knew when the day would come. They have all been on edge, waiting for the moment, and preparing themselves for the possibly to never cross that stage.

Their definition of the word danger, it wasn't even close to my own understands. Their version was the kind that was step away from the grave, and if that didn't spark sudden fear in me, I don't know what could. Even now that they have stepped away from that life, and are trying to put it behind them, it still hunts. And lord knows how many pleas his gotten from me over the past few weeks. I'll bet his tired of me, but I don't care because I will keep asking for protection for this family.

So yes, I understand Maddox's sudden emotion from seeing Mateo, and Kirsan cross that stage. And I think the reason we fought so hard to get them both to agree, was because we needed to watch them walk across that platform. We all needed that reminded that Mateo made it, and that he will keep making it despite how hunted his past is.

Carefully, I palmed Maddox arm, and he managed not to flinch this time. "I'm happy to see you walk too, Maddox." I said, my air catching the back of my throat because even Maddox deserved to find his worth.

He turned to look at me, pale sky eyes brewing. "You know, sweetheart. When I first met you, I would have bet my fucken ass on the fact that there was no way I could have cared for you. But you seem to have sprinkled me with your sweet kindness and here I am, happy to see you cross that fucken stage too."

I couldn't stop the building grin on my face, even if I tried really hard. So instead, I laughed, and he chuckled with me. "You're a bad influence, sweetheart." he said, "You're making all of us around here feel things."

I chuckled. "Just don't cry. I don't know if I can handle you crying."

He stood up as our row lifted, walking to the stage. "Cry? The only time I'm going to cry is when I finally get my fucken latest graphic card because fucken hell, I have been waiting a million years now."

I followed behind him, thinking that despite everything that's happened, the future that is knocking on my door, and all the change that is going to hit me in the fact, I'm extremely happy. For the first time, in what feels like ever, I'm secure in my own skin, and calm in my mind. I'm not worried, or panicking, or feeling worthless. I feel like I have faith in myself. Like a new power has been unlocked, and I can suddenly face the world head on. I have people around me who would stand by me, and a boyfriend who's been nothing but supportive and loving. And I wasn't hiding anymore.

Maddox walked first, and I followed him up the stage. In the crowd, Ash cheered wildly, and I couldn't stop my laugh when the principle looked up into crowed and sighed. "He won't be here next hear. He won't he here next year." he mumbled under his breath. And I think he didn't expect the mic to catch that, but it did, and the crowd erupted into laugher. He turned plump red in embarrassment and fumbled around a little before moving on.

Once my diploma was in my hand, I walked down the stage. And at the bottom of the stairs, Mateo stood in his regular clothing now, gown gone already. "Hey, love."

I halted at the top of the stairs and threw my arms around his shoulders, it hurt a little but I smiled through it. And instantly Mateo's arms looped around me and let me lean on him. "Hey, pretty boy."

He grinned. "I don't think I'll ever get use to you looking at me like that."

I chuckled, leaning down and brushing my lips against his. He didn't let me pull back but held me there. "Don't tease me, love, it's not safe." he said, but I laughed. "Not safe? What are you going to do? We are in a public area."

My little clueless butt thought he wouldn't do anything, and of course I was wrong. Because he lifted me off the ground, cuddling me to his body and started walking. "Do you really think that's going to stop me?" he asked, turned the corner and I realized we were alone now. We were behind the stage, and there was nothing but equipment and us back here.

He set me down on the ground gently, and I tipped my head up at him. "I was wrong. You just keep surprising me."

He smirked. "You like surprises."

"You don't."

He leaned down, taking my face between his hands and smiled. His smile, it more beautiful than the stars in the sky, and more enchanting than any magical fairytale. I didn't realize the kind of trouble I was getting myself into the day he smiled at me, but now I know it's the end of me, and the beginning of something better. "And yet, I love you. You were a surprise to me because I didn't expect to need someone like you, but I was wrong. And I'm fucken happy to be wrong. You, love, were the best kind of surprise." he said and closed the tortures inch between us.

My little moan hit the back of my mouth, and he swallowed it whole as he pushed us against the wall. I could tell you a million different things about the kiss. About the way it felt. About the different emotion's it made me feel. About how my eyes rolled back, and my mind went blank. I could tell you about how I melted in his embrace, and the air in my lungs seize to exist. I could tell you that this kiss might have been slow, passionate and fulfilling but that my heart was beating wildly in my chest. And I could even tell you about how when he relaxed into my arms, dropping his shoulders and closed his eyes, I burned to ashes. But I wouldn't because it was never meant to be told. This fairytale was a hidden kind. The kind that is rumored and whispered about because it's almost unimaginable. No one would believe me if I said that this kind of love existed. That this kind of intimacy, and passion was out there. And that is why it's mine to feel, and yours to think about.

"Mateo."

We paused, pulling away from each other and looked over to Maddox who turned the corner. "Have you seen Kirsan?"

Mateo kept me in his hold but straightened out. "No, he followed Olivia out."

"I have. And he doesn't look good, so maybe you should go after him. And there are people looking for your girlfriend."

Mateo tensed. "What's wrong with Kirsan?"

Maddox halted a few inches away from us, and eyeing my fluffy, and warm lips because I'll bet they looked real red right now. "Let's just say Olivia did a number on him, again."

"Fuck." Mateo cursed, running a hand through his head, "Those two are fucken toxic for each other." he sighed, and I could feel him starting to worry, and overthink all the problems. I rubbed my hand on his back, hoping to ease him and it worked because he relaxed a little in my hold. "I need to go find him." he said, looking towards me.

I smiled up at him, hoping it would transfer to him, and to my surprise, it did. Not fully, but a little bit because his lips curled up just a bit and he leaned down giving me another kiss. "Go with Maddox and say hi to your parents. I'll find you in a bit."

I nodded and watched him jog away, leaving me with Maddox. "Kissing behind the belchers like a pair of hooligans."

I sighed, fixing my gown and hat. "I am no hooligan."

He smirked. "Your fucked lips say others wise."

I gasped at him, narrowing my glare. "Don't be mean." I muttered, and started walking as he followed after me, on protection duty. All though, technically I just graduated so does that mean that protection duty is officially going to go away? I'll admit that makes me a little sad.

"I'm not being mean. Red is so your color." he joked, following me through the crowd of people as I looked for my parents. I would have responded to him, but he continued on talking. "I can't fucken wait to be away from land tomorrow. The sea, the yacht, and a fucken drink in my hand. Oh yeah, that's going to be the fucken life."

I smiled, remembering that I'm invited to that too. Personally, may I add, by Mateo's parents. For a full three weeks before the family officially moves out to New York, they are taking a vacation on their yacht to the Bahamas. The full Ramos family, Vallero's and their cousin Matthias are going to be there, and me. And at first, I felt like I was going to intrude if I wore to say yes but then Mr. Ramos explained that he doesn't want to listen to his son whine the whole time. That if he does, he might have to shoot himself. And that by going, I'm saving him.

Something tell me that his reasons are a little more center on the fact that he said I'm officially part of the family, and that I have his full respect. And can I just say that to have the respect of someone like Mr. Ramos is a lot to experience, a lot to think about, and a lot to have. And he also mentioned that if I were to ever need anything, all I had to do was ask. I can't really explain how I feel about it yet, because everything is moving so fast. I'm still recovering and haven't had the time to just set down and process everything. And yet I feel happy. Even with my life turning upside down, and not going according to plan, I know I'm going to be fine because tomorrow, bright and early, I will be on a yacht.

"Lina?"

I spun around, recognizing the voice and Maddox did a little twirl with me that almost made me laugh. "Hey, dad." I smiled at him. He held a pineapple, and a bundle of roses as he smiled wide, and full of sincerity at me. It took me back a second, and I think it because I didn't think I would experience this day with him. But his here, and I can feel how much of a relief that is to have him here.

He took a step forward, extending the flowers to me. "You looked beautiful up there, congratulation. I can't wait to see where your life takes you from here and I want you to know that I'm really proud of you."

I smiled, taking the roses and stepped backward towards Maddox. "Thanks dad, I'm glad you're here. Really."

"I'm happy to be here, Lina." he said, fidgeting with the button of his jacket and making me realize there is more to that. And I felt the worry seep into my stomach and my speed up my breathing. I don't know what to expect, and truthfully, I'm just trying not to panic here with every passing second. He finally sighed and dropped his hand. "Lina, I know you been through a-lot and maybe this isn't the time to add more to your plate, but—"

Maddox sighed. "Then maybe don't ruin a good day?"

My dad glanced at him for a second but kept going. "I feel like I should tell you this. I'm moving to New York. I got a job out there, and a home. I want to be closer to you and rebuild our relationship."

I gaped at him, swaying backwards a little only for Maddox to reach out and steady me with a hand to my back. "Dad," I winced, "What about your other daughter? You're picking up your whole life to move to a different state?"

He gave me a saddened smile. "Your sister think's this is a good idea. We are working on our relationship too, but she understands how hard it was on you when I left. I'm starting to understand that too, and I want to fix that. I'm picking up my whole life and moving it because that's what I think it right. I shouldn't have left you, and I shouldn't have ignored you all for so long. I'm doing what I think is best for my family, for me."

I stared at him, losing for words and trying to process everything. This was the man who I thought wouldn't ever coming back, and now his here, and telling me that his following me across the country. It' a giant leap, and something that feels like my old dad would do. The one that loved and sacrificed everything for me. The one I thought I lost, or never knew for that matter.

I inhaled, and relaxed. I remined myself that his actions are not mine, and that I don't have to worry about them. I can only worry about myself, and that right there is what I have learned from my three theory lessons. What I'm still learning, is trying to actually live by that. Trying not to worry about everything I can't control and focus on only my own actions. And let's just say it's a learning process.