CHAPTER SONG - Wave of You, Surfaces

I stirred, groaning at the stiffness keeping my body trapped. Everything felt droopy, and heavy to the point that I couldn't even lift my head. And the fuzziness in my head was making me need to blink a few times. But every time I tired, my eyes would just stay closed, as if they were glued. I would say that angered but my truthfully, I couldn't get myself to feel anything but tired.

Something shifted beside me. "Love?"

I stirred again, trying to pin-point the voice to the owner. It knew it, the familiarity of it making my stomach flip. The notes of huskiness, and regal, like something from old time royalty. And it made me smile, because I really enjoyed the voice. It was pretty. So pretty. Like a pretty boy I know. Pretty.

I licked my creaked lips, feeling my head bow from the weight. Since when did I have such a bowling ball head? But with effort that felt like it might break something in me, I forced myself to open my eyes. It felt like pushing against strong wind, but I did it. And I was rewarded.

Dark forest eyes, full of concern and uneasiness stared down at me. The pretty boy I know, he was looking at me. He was alluring. Luscious in every way. And all I could think of was, oh man was heaven great. Lord? Thanks for the kind welcome.

I tried to swallow to say something, but my mouth was dry to the point that it made it feel like sandpaper scraping down my throat. I tried again, staring up at light lake eyes, covered in soft brown leaves on spring mornings. Does heavens have seasons, or are they all mixed into one? Because the man looking at me was the king of them all, he ruled and held them all in his entrancing eyes.

Licking my chapped lips, I managed to reach for one word, "Hi."

His lips curled up; a smile that really was heaven sent. Oh fluffy bunnies. "I love heaven." I mumbled, "I have a pretty man in mine." I said, the words spilling past my tongue that I couldn't feel. Huh, that's odd. Maybe in heaven you stop feeling your body? I didn't even realize I was lifting my hand and trailing my finger down his cheek until I saw it with my own eyes. "Pretty." I said, mesmerized.

He looked so familiar, and I just couldn't figure out from were. I knew him, I did, but how? Who was he? And why was he smiling at me like I just granted him life, and breath all together. And when he chuckled, the sound vibrated thought me in a rough, and sensual way. "This isn't heaven, it's a hospital bed. Did you really plan to leave me, love? Just like that?"

Love. Why does that sound familiar too? Someone used to call me that. Someone use to look at me just like he was looking at me like. Like I mattered. Like I was everything and more. And like every breath that came off his pretty lips was mine before he even took it. I know him, but how? My mind was all scrambled, and I just couldn't think straight. All my thoughts felt jumbled.

I blinked slowly at him, feeling the drop my lids incredibly heavy. Somehow, his words were really hard to understand too. I mean, I heard him, and I knew what he was saying but at the same time I couldn't even remember what he just said. For some reason, the only thing I can focus on was how graceful, and handsome, and irresistible he was.

I smiled, ignoring what he just said. "God really fulfilled all my fantasy with you." I ran my finger down his cheeks, "You look like someone. Someone I know and he was just as pretty as you." My head bowed again, but I caught it and went on, "Where is God? I should thank him." I explained, and the good-looking man laughing. Relief slammed into his eyes and making them light into early morning sunsets.

"Runway pretty, right?" he asked, just as I ran my thumb across his lips, so plump and pink, and soft, and whoa... They curled under my touch, lifting up. "Your so drugged out, love." he explained, eyes softening by the second.

I heard him this time and understood as while. Which made me scrunch my nose up. "I don't do drugs. Have you ever heard of the D.A.R.E program? I stand beside it." I explained, but for the love of me, I couldn't even remember what this program was that I just mentioned. What did dare stand for? I tried to remember but it only made my head start pounding.

I stopped thinking, attention being stolen by the weight of my arms that made my hand fall down to his jaw. And with all my effort, I trailed my fingers across the ends of his chiseled to perfection jaw. Just like all the other parts of him, it was stunning, and tempting in every way. Did he belong to Zeus? Was this some kind of test to get into heaven? Deny the pretty temptation? If that's the case, I have failed. Big time.

He smiled. "Good to see that I still have all of your attention, even when your out of your mind."

I sighed at his beauty. "Sweet blueberries, do you have to go do a photo shoot or something? Walk a runway? I'll cheer for you."

He grinned. "My personal cheerleader."

I tried to nod in agreement, but I don't think I actually did nod. Everything felt like it was slack, and limp for me to actually feel the movement in my body. I heard the door open, and it took more effort than it should have to look towards it, but I smiled instantly when I saw who came in. With soft brown hair, almost sunburned and smoky grey eyes wrapped in sleepless circled he grinned. But his grin, it was anything but soft. Like a vixen looking for a way to hunt you.

I grinned more. I knew him. He too was really pretty, but we don't tell him that. And he was my best of the best friend.

I lifted my hand, waving at him. "Maddox!" I called, but the words came out slurred and barely clear. And the pretty boy beside me sighed. "Oh, but you know who he is. I don't know if I should be offended."

Maddox rounded the bed, and I didn't even realize my hand was still up in the air until he wrapped his palm around my and shook it. "You alive sweetheart. Ok, now you can officially fill the best friend slot."

"I'm your best friend?" I asked, tears hinting their presence.

He halted by the side of the bed, sipping on a cup of something that I really wanted to know what because it smelled really good. "You are now." he answered.

"Now? What changed?"

He sighed, looking behind himself and pulling up a chair before flopping down in it. "You almost died on me, that's what. You shut your eyes, and I realized I was going to lose you, and that you somehow have become my best friend, without my permission may I add."

I stared at him, trying to understand what his saying but coming up with nothing. Instead, I smelt that wonderful scent of warm chocolate again. "What are you drinking?" I asked, wanting to reach for the cup in his hand but not being able to move a muscle.

"Hot chocolate. I would give you some, but I'm not in the mood to share. This is therapy to me, and I need a lot of it."

Someone shifted beside me again, and all of sudden I remembered that there was still a man in my bed. "Come here." I whispered to Maddox, glancing over at the pretty man right next to me as he watched me with amusement in his woodland eyes. Maddox raised his brow but tipped closer. And I coughed, my throat hurting from all the talking I was doing but I pushed past it and leaned towards him. "Hey." I said, "Do you see him too?"

He looked around. "See who?"

I stared at him, a rush of sadness coming onto me. "The pretty man in my bed. Do you see him?"

His brow's furrowed. "No? Lin, you okay?"

I turned my head wildly to look at the man next to me, and panic creeped up in my chest. He was right there. Eyes full of jammed packed wilderness, and grin spread like butter. Looking like Adonis. And making me blush like no other.

The man laughed. "Madd's stop messing with her." he said to which Maddox laughed and took another sip of whatever goodness that was. I looked at him. "So, you do see him then?" I asked, the words a little scrambled in my own mind.

"Jez, what did they give you? And where can I get some of that?"

Before I could answer, two fingers wrapped around my chin and turned me to look at the unholy man in my bed. He winked at me, and then chuckled when I felt my eyes widened in pure amazement. "Love, how about you close your eyes for a little longer? Let the drug wear off a little more."

I nodded, not being able to grab another word from my mind. It was so heavy and felt like it was fading away by the second. I fell limp in his hold, flopping my head backward, and squeezed my eyes shut. The last thing I heard before everything went black, was Maddox laughing. "Pretty cupcake king."

SOME TIME LATER

Blinking again, I huffed at the pain zipping up my side and forcing me to see stars. Oh, holy moly, what kind of horrific torture is this? It stung my side, pushing its way into my abdomen, arms, legs, and head. I felt the sinking feeling in my body, and nausea creeped up my throat. All I wanted to do was breath, but it hurt with every light puff I took.

I squirmed, trying to find a better position before this one really killed me but paused when I felt the hold of someone next to me. Their heat spread around us, invading all the inches of this bed, and making me slightly more comfortable than I was. I huffed out another light breath, relaxing back into the bed and thinking about how to get some water. But the thought of it slammed queasiness into my stomach.

I stirred again, trying to remove my hand from beneath the blanket as I stared up at the white ceiling beaming down back at me. With a strong inhale, I pushed up into a better positioned and hissed at the pain it caused. My body was still taken hostage by the weakness, aching, and discomfort. And my head was shooting pain up my skull that was less then pleasurable by any means. But least now I could see the rest of the room better.

I took a second before peeling my eyes open again and taking in the room. Right by the bed, I found Maddox napping in a chair. He had his head tipped back and arms wrapped over his chest as he slept in a less then peaceful manner, his body twitching every few seconds. I felt relief wash over me as I smiled weakly at him.

And even though the room was pretty dimmed, I could see the rest of the people spread across the hospital room. I would say that the happiness that I felt because I was alive was good, but the pain was taking up most of the thoughts in my head. And still, I relaxed into the bed and felt myself breath easier.

I looked towards the floor where Ash was laying on his stomach with his head tucked on his arm. And on top of his back, Lily was sleeping with a blanket wrapped both of them. Beside them, sitting on the floor was Kirsan with his head leaned on the couch and palm pressed into Ash's leg, he too slept. I moved my attention upwards onto the couch where Mr. Ramos was stretched with his arm pulled across the back of the couch and head knocked back. He was sleeping, but his face was set into a hardened edge, and on his lap laid his daughter, sleeping too. He had one arm wrapped around her, and she looked so peaceful in his hold, like nothing in the world could ever touch her in his arms.

Across the couch, Sara was curled up in a ball with a blanket and sleeping. And beside the couch, on the chair, two more people slept. A man who I knew to be Maddox's dad, and a woman with fluffy curly brown hair that cover her whole face and laid wildly across Mr. Vallero's chest. He had his arm wrapped around her in a protective manner and head nuzzled into her shoulder. Somehow, they looked more comfortable in that one person chair, then I felt in this giant bed.

I wonder what time it was.

I wonder what they are all doing here.

I need some water.

I turned my head a bit, feeling tension and stiffness in every part of my neck, back and shoulders. I groaned quietly and froze in place when the sleeping body beside me stirred. I tipped my head down at him, seeing his nose twitch and him inhale softly but he didn't wake. And I stared at the undercut of his jaw, and the usual sharp edges, slack now, and mellowed out, almost soft. He laid pressed into my side, comforted and at peace that I knew I wouldn't take that from him even if it hurt me.

I knew I needed to move, because everything hurt to the point of torture, but I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't have the power in me to wake him. Any peaceful moment I could give him that would have him looking this at ease, I would sacrifice for. Because I was welling to sacrifice my life for him, so what's a few more stiffened moments of pain.

I thought I wouldn't see him again, I settled with that. In that split second, I knew that he deserved to thrive. But now that his here, and I'm here, and we are both alive, all I could do was stare in awe at him. I thought I might regret jumping in front of him, I thought I would change my mind, but looking at him now, I know I wouldn't. I would do it again, and again.

He saved me, and if I can give him that back, I will. Every time, I will find him.

The door of the hospital room creaked open, and I peered up, not bothering to lift my head this time. I relaxed a little, seeing Mateo's mom come into the room. She looked extremely tired, and even troubled as she held a cup of something in her hand. Closing the door behind her quietly, she turned and paused for a second. Shock crossed her face when she found me blinking back at her.

Snapping forward, she rushed over to me. "Oh hell, your awake." she said, but winced at her loud voice, which made me smile. She paused by the bed, looking over at me with an alarmed expression. "You really scared the hell out of all of us. Are you okay?"

I tried to chuckle, but it hurt. "I'm okay." I replied, realizing how pathetic that was because I was in more pain than I had ever been.

She shook her head, removing her son's arm from my chest and the movement so small felt like I could take the biggest breath of air, even if it hurt. And yet, when he stirred again, I panicked. Don't wake, don't wake, don't wake. Please, don't wake. "His fine. His been awake to long, I don't think his going to wake soon." she explained.

I relaxed a little. "How long has he been awake? How long have I been out?"

She set the cup down on the side table and grabbed a cup to fill it with water. "You have been out for three days, and his been awake for two of those. Hell, so have both of my sons, including my adoptive one."

"Adoptive?"

She jetted her chin towards Maddox. "That once's mine even if his bloody isn't."

I smiled, understanding her now. Maddox said family isn't always bound by blood, and sometimes it's love that creates and keeps a family together. People like their parents who fight hard, and to the end for them.

She extended the cup of water to me, and with frail strength, I grabbed it. It shook as I brought it to my lips, but the first sip was refreshing in every way. I finished the whole cup. "Do you want another?" she asked, and I shook my head no before giving it back to her.

I watched her set it down before turning to me. "Look, Lina." she started, and I could see the remorse setting in her expression. "I'm sorry you got in the middle of our lives, our messes, and I'm sorry that you were hurt by that. Even stepping back, our past's brings danger to our lives. You have no idea how thankful I am for you saving my sons life. Losing him, I don't know if I can bear that kind of pain." she whispered, choking on her words as she looked at her son with so much love. "I didn't realize how much he loved you until you almost died."

I pressed my lips together, licking them to get them wet and not so dry and creaked. "I love him very much. And It's okay." I explained, "I mean it's not okay, but I would do it for him again." I explained, looking down at the man that I loved with every spec inside me. I knew I would just in front of a million bullets for him. "His worth every second of pain."

His mom regarded me for a second, sympathy and respect filling her oak eyes. Then she brought over a chair and sat down by the bed and clamped her hands on top of the bed. "His pretty great, isn't he?" she said with a small smile, "Such a kind kid. Lord knows he didn't get that from me. I was an asshole at his age."

I chuckled. "Then who?"

She glanced over at her sleeping husband, a looking of longing washing her face. "His father." she answered, looking back at me, "That man, he was my savior. Before him, I was moment's from giving up and in his own way he saved every single one of us in this room." she explained, warmed love filling her tone. "I loved that man with all my heart, and he gave me something even after he left us. He thought me what it means to hurt, and love at the same time. He showed me strength and forced me to learn painful lessons. His the reason me and my husband are here today, and why those kids are so good. Because nothing about us was good, until them."

I listened, admiring the woman in front of me. I know Mateo loved her, and respect her with his whole heart. But I was a little shocked to have her opening up to me. Me. A person who just came into her life, and one that she knew so little about. She accepted me with open arms and gave me a part of herself that I knew wasn't all that easy to give away. A part that still hurt opening to this day.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, wanting to know why she was being so kind.

She smiled at me. "I know you haven't had the easiest time, or the most comfort for that matter. You went through traumatic experiences, and you should have had someone there for you. You should have had a parental figure and I'm sorry you didn't. If at any point you would like to talk about it, I would be open to setting down with you, or Nora." she explained, glancing at the woman in Mr. Vallero's arms. "We both are psychologist. And both would like to help you. Don't feel pressured, but it's just something to think about. The reason I'm telling you all of this though, is simple. You, Lina, have found a way into my son's heart, and into the care of the rest of my children. We raised them to be tough, and intelligent. And if all my children care about you enough to spend three days in the hospital torturing those doctors and nurses, then you matter to us. I thank you for loving my son despite what you know about him, and what he has done. It was never his fault, or his destiny as he likes to believe. But you found a way to love him, and I as his mother couldn't adore you more for it."

I nodded, processing everything she just told me. It was a lot, and I was still a little cloudy in the head, but she had no idea how much this meant to me. To have someone be gentle, tender, and compassionate with me after so long of feeling alone. I envied the family this woman, and her husband have built, and to be loved by those people, that was a rare pearl in the ocean. It was euphoric.