CHAPTER SONG - Blood // Water, Grandson

I gritted my back teeth, anger bleeding like a fucken bullet wound the longer I waited. It wasn't that I was waiting, but that they have the fucken audacity to make me wait. "Where the fuck are they?" I snapped, for the fourth time, zipping up my jacket. Why the fuck was it so cold in this warehouse, and gross for that matter. That beam looked like it might snap any second.

Maddox sighed, checking his phone for the hundred time, just as annoyed as I was. "If I had that lovely answer, I would have said it several minutes ago and saved myself from freezing my ass of in this old dump."

I winkled my nose at the whiff of stale rotten wood and looked around the dump. This warehouse was one of our oldest, and honestly, we just use it as a meeting space because of how hostile it feels. It's supposed to be intimidating, nasty, and dreadful, and the goal was achieved when you step into the place. It made you skin crawl. The walls bashed in, and the ceiling just hanging by a thread. It was cheap, and rotten, and a great place to make someone feel like a low-grade.

I glanced over at the side of the building, where Joel was posted up with his arms crossed and looking just as bloody annoyed. I mean, we all are. Standing here for an hour will do that to you.

Maddox tipped his head upwards at the hallowed-out creak that sounded. "I'm moving." he muttered, taking a step away from being directly under the beam. I looked up at it too, and then also moved over to him. Don't need that falling on my head today.

I watched him raise his phone up in the air, and the flash of the camera lit. "That is a safety hazard." he said, "If that shit lands on my head and kills me then you all can bet your asses, I'm coming to hunt you for that lame ass fucken excuse of a death."

I chuckled. "Oh yeah? And you have a better one in mind?"

"A few. My top one, would have to be death by a computer game. I read this story about a guy who died from dehydration and heart failure, after he played a fifty-hour straight session of a video game. He barely ate, or drank, and eventually crocked. Imagine that. Or! Ash told me about this dude who died falling off a balcony while trying to scare off a troupe of monkeys that were attacking him."

I raised my brow. "The hell didn't he just shoot them?"

He shrugged. "No clue, kind of ironic because he was the deputy in some small town."

I laughed, pulling out the phone buzzing in my pocket. My patience was running thin, reaching it max and as I clicked my phone on, I felt the littlest bit of relaxation build that patience back up. Just a little, but enough for my shoulders to dip an inch.

"Hi! I got a movie idea, if your down. You mentioned not seeing any of the Iron Man movies. My fav. We have to watch them. There is no way we can date if you don't watch them. Ok that's mean. We can date. We are dating. But, still, want to come watch them with me? If not, it's okay."

I clenched my jaw, vanishing the smile that was trying to climb onto my face and replied quickly that I would be there. I wanted to go. I don't care about the movie, but any time spent with Lina is what I care about. After a few month's now, I can confidently say that the little guy in my chest might have been right. Sure, his still being scrutinized because after all turning soft was dangerous, and that's what I have done. For Lina, with Lina, I have turned softish. Only in her presence, but it's a weakness that's put a chokehold on me, and makes my mind spin.

It makes my head feel light, and fluffy, like I'm up in the air. High up. Away from all my problems, and duties. Like a freed feather chasing the wind. And its as if that air has cleared, and a second of sereneness has settled in my soul. For the first time, I feel my two souls mended, molded, and together. A feeling that I haven't ever felt, and now, it's something I realized I don't know if I can come back from. I don't know how I'm suppose to live again if they separate and the only thing keeping them together is her.

Perhaps, it's because of how much different she is from me. How kindly, and happily she looked at the world, the same one I looked at with nothing but pure rage. I'm tired of being eighteen, and seeing permanent red. I'm to young to let it destroy me, and with her, I get that one second of goodness. One second of nothing but sweetness, and it make me want to never leave. It makes me want to see the world though her eyes.

I felt like I wanted to tear out of my skin because of how fucken dirty it felt. To tortured, and bloodied. But then she looks at me, and all of a sudden I don't feel like I needed to skin myself to see something good. I see it in her eyes. The lovingness in her eyes, and I feel it. Feel it warming my skin, glowing inside me, skimmer around me, and I melt. Only around her do I not feel like I need to crawl out of my skin to feel something other then hate.

After replying, I looked back to Maddox with a sigh. "This is the third shipment we have lost."

Maddox rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "I don't fucken know what's going on. Call you dad. They should have been here an hour ago."

It's clear no one was showing up. If they showed up now, it would be not only threatening for them, but stupid of them. They knew better then to make us wait, and now it was clear as fucken day that no on was coming. Which meant another shipment down the drain and I have no idea what's going on. All I know, is it's not good for business. Not even a little. It ruins out stability, and credibility, along with our reputation. It won't cost us much in the revenue front because it's too little to really cripple us, but it's still bad. It comes back on us, because we don't fucken lose shipments, ever.

I tipped my head back, trying to decide what to do because I didn't want to pull my dad into this. But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized I had no choose. I sighed deeply and pulled my phone back up. My finger hovered over my dad's contract, just for a second as I went through the last few idea's in my head, and came up with nothing.

Dialing him, I put him on speaker for Maddox to hear and waited.

The phone clicked after the second ring. "Hijo."

"We lost the shipment."

Silence stretched across the phone, making every creak, and clink of this beat up warehouse echo. I waited for him to answer, waited with heaviness in my chest and rage in my mind. I had a million ideas of what we were going to do to fix this situation. And I don't know what I expected for my dad. Anger mostly, but not silence. And definitely not the word that shocked me the core, "Okay."

My gaze cut to Maddox who looked at me just as lost and confused. For a second, we were stunned to our own silence as we tried to process the lack of care in his word. The lack of his normally angered tone, and crud words. Okay, is a word you use when you lose twenty dollars, not three fucken million.

Maddox pale eyes, matched the paleness setting on his face, making him look like he had just seen a ghost, and even his mouth popped open a little in shock. And I stood there staring at my phone, as if my shock could somehow transfer though the line and hit my dad in the face because I felt more madder then he was. This was his money, his business that he put his blood and energy into, and his response is, okay? Three shipments. Nine million. And his responds is, okay. One word. A single four lettered word that holds no emotion behind it.

The numbed word slipped past my lips. "Okay?" I repeated slowly, as if I have never said the word before, and the language was foreign to me.

He response spark more confusion. "Yep, okay. Shit happens." he said, still lacking any type of anger that I thought he would feel, that I'm feeling. My vision was starting to sting, and I had to force myself to blink because I realized I was starring point blank at the phone.

What the fuck. Shit happens. What the actual fuck does that mean?

Maddox clenched his fists beside him, as I spoke again, "Dad. You're going to have to say more then that. That's nine mill, and that's not even the biggest problem. Why are we losing shipments? Our suppliers are consistent, and our customers are knocking at the door. We have no product. What the hell dad, what's going on?"

Silence slapped me back in the face and for the first time, I was lost for words. Inside, a feeling I have never felt towards my dad lingered. Betrayal. We have known for a while that they have been hiding something from us, something important, and now, this felt like the side of an ice burg that we just hit. And the only question was how far was the top? Because the man, who hasn't kept a single secret from me, who hasn't hidden a single part of his business from me, who has raised me for it, was now hiding something.

Maybe I had doubts before, a little part of me wanted to trust him blindly because he was my dad after all, but now that doubt no longer exist. The facts were in front of us, slapping us over and over. They were hiding something, and this was part of it. From the random meetings they have been setting up with our own rivals, to our last three shipments lost. There was clearly something wrong, and we were kept in the dark.

I can hear it in the lack of emotion, in the lack of words, and lack of communication. The man tells me everything, and now his not saying a single word. Okay, doesn't fucken count. Was he in trouble? If so, why hasn't he told me? As unrealistic as it sounds, he thought me how to deal with hell, and how to make it mine. And it might be unrealistic to some, because sure, there was no hell but there was. In our world there was. Hell existed here, and it leveled everything to the ground. It tore, and burned, and wrecked everything in it and I knew how to stand up to it. I knew how to bring it to it's knees, because he showed me how.

So now, the question was why was he hiding. Not what was he hiding, but why was he hiding. Did he not think I was strong enough for it? I was. Was it the lack of attention I have put towards him lately? How distracted I was? Because I got a girlfriend? Because that's all that's changed. I haven't changed. The beast under my skin hasn't changed. I still know how to walk into hell and raise it.

I was jumping to conclusions, and I know this, but I couldn't help it. The nervous feeling put pressure in my stomach and for the first time, I felt guttered by my dad. Betrayed because he was hiding from me. Our family ran on loyalty. Lie's, and abstains was not who we were. He didn't raise us like that, so why was he incommunicado.

"Dad?" I tired to level my tone, but even I heard the tiny pitch in my voice that sounded pathetic. I could deal with anything, but now I'm starting to realize that if something was wrong with him, I wouldn't be able to deal. I lost my father, and I cannot lose my dad too. I cannot lose him.

The gutting feeling cut deeper when he didn't reply, and even further when my uncle did. But he wasn't replying to us, he was talking to my dad. Leaving us standing here like confused zombies as thoughts filled my head to the point of overflow, and my lung's felt like they might pop right out of my body. "Angelo, we are going to have to tell them. It's fine. We are going to keep losing shipments, and they are going to figure it out sooner or later. They are already digging." my uncle said.

"It's not ready. We aren't prepared fully yet."

I gritted my teeth, listening to them. Utterly fucken lost and vexed. They have known we've been digging? And they continued to let us? Continued to watch us stumble around like idiots? The fact only made me madder, and Maddox straighten up beside me with his own wrath sitting in the storm shade's of his blazing eyes.

Uncle sighed. "So? Our sons are too smart to not notice. They caught on. Either tell him, or his going to figure it out on his own. And my son won't stop for shit, even if I ask him. It's to late Angelo, wither it's done or not, we need to tell them."

My attention snapped up at Maddox who I watched him stagger back a step. Betrayal written on every part of his face as he cloaked it with anger, but it was there. I watched him, hating how much damage this was going to do too him too, as if he doesn't have enough. But he was in the dark, like me, and he didn't like it one bit. For a while, after the kidnapping we held some thing's back from him, kept him away from business. Until one day, he showed up at the club and announced that he will burn it to the ground if we leave him out for another single day.

For him, I imagine he think that we have still been holding him back, hiding things from him. I almost wanted to reassurance him that I haven't, that I would never betray him like that, or lie to him like that but I knew I had to deal with one thing at a time.

Anger built up higher as I watched him over my phone. I hated even knowing that he was hurting, because we were raised to walk into fucken fire, and now we were being babied and what's worse is that they hurt Maddox in the process. Me? Ok. Fine. But not him.

Neither of us appreciated it, and both of us felt played with. They raised soldiers, gave them armor, and artillery. They threw us into the war. We were forced to put on war paint, and to throw ourselves into the line of fire. All to prove that we were up for the fucken game. We proved it. We tore our self's open for them. And now they are pulling us out of the war, and sidelining us like we did all that for nothing.

My tone came out clamped with leveled anger "Dad." I said, clearer, bolder even. I was done with this conversation. Either they tell us, or we will be the once to bring their hell to its knees. I wasn't a fucken child they get to ignore. I stopped being a child to be by their side.

Finally, my dad sighed. "Okay, hijo. Come back to the office, we need to talk."

The phone clicked. My heart skipped. My hands shook. And my breath caught.

Neither Maddox, nor I said a single word for a long minute. Both of us processing the whole situation and coming to the realization that we were right. I wish we weren't. I wish we were wrong, and it's the first time I wished I was wrong because I hated being right. But nothing was going to change, and we had to go into this like we go into everything else, headfirst.

I pocketed my phone, thinking about it. You know what? They sidelined us, but we were getting off the fucken bench. Whatever it was, we will fix it. They have had their best soldier's out of whatever they were fighting, and it's time we ended it.

I was about to say that it's time to go when Maddox spoke up, his tone crooking, "What the fuck is going on?"

"As if I know. You think I would hide that shit from you?"

He pointed at my pocket, to my phone. "They did."

I clenched my jaw then forced myself to relax. "I told you I wouldn't hide anything from you, and I haven't." I reassured him, understand that he was questioning me too, and I wasn't going to have it. Not when we had to walk in there as a united front, and deal with god knows what. Right now, we needed to be the same side, we needed to armor up, and he needed to stop looking at me like I was the one that ripped his heart out.

"The same side." I reminded him, "Always."

He regarded me for a second, convincing himself of my words before blowing out a puff of air. "Alright, yeah. Same side." he said, and I could see the little bit of worry fall off of him. I know he thought I betrayed him too, but I wouldn't. And I didn't like that somewhere, he thought I could in the first place. That I would do anything to go against him. That I would ever step off of his side. I spent my entire life by him, and I would end it there too.

"Don't question me like that, Madds. Question anyone, but never me. I will never stand against you, and I will always be for you. Don't do that Madds because I could have lost you, and I would have lost myself too. Don't, Maddox, don't ever think I could hurt you because that's a fucken bullet wound to the heart."

His shoulders dropped, and arm's hit his sides as he regarded me, with a hint of regret in his eyes. I know he went thought hell when he was gone, but so did we, so did I. I almost lost him, and that fact alone guts me. I would have lost something so great in me, that I'm not sure I would have survived if he died. I stayed up for days searching for him. I sat by his bed for nights when we got him back. I didn't let him out of my sight for a whole month after he came back, and I fucken cried in front of him after it all. He knows I wouldn't ever hurt him, but betrayal is brutal and makes you question everything. "Okay." he nodded, "I know this."

By the time we got to the office, I was on my last set of nerves. I was bouncing around like a coke head looking for their next high. To say I was nervous was an understatement. With the time it took us to get to the office, I had come up with another at least forty different situations on what could be happening. Of course, I had solutions too, but that wasn't calming me even a bit.

Stepping into my dad's office, I found him hangout behind his desk with a red bull in his hand. He looked oddly calm; not like I was feeling. Uncle was lounging on the couch, throwing a tennis ball up in the air and catching it. Why did neither of them look like they were fighting any problems? Like everything was just dandy? And the fact irked me even more. Why were they so calm?

Madds stopped right beside me, and the door slammed behind us with a heavy bang. It made both of our dad's look at us, scanning us like they always do before their expressions settled in amusement that angered me further. "Why do you both look like you're ready to murder and torture someone? I said to talk, not to fucken rip body's apart." my dad said, eyeing us with a hint of laugher in his tone.

"I'm about to torture you." I replied, cutting the room with my knife-like tone. Sure, I didn't mean it but my anger was getting to the best of me at this point, and the longer this went on, the more the beast under my skin crawled.

My uncle laughed, sitting up in the couch. "Jez kid, cool it."

I turned to him, and glared, sharpening it so clear cut that I swear he coiled back a little. I didn't like being in the dark, and they don't get to put us here either. We are grown, and brutal because of this, because this life. They made us like this, and they don't get to lesson that now.

My uncle stood, straightened to his full hight and I could tell he was uncomfortable under my stare. Something like recognition flash in his unmatched eyes and a little shock waved in his pale grey eyes before springing into sadness in his blue one. It made me wonder what he saw, but I steeled myself in place as he blinked at me. "Stop starting at me like that. I haven't seen that look for almost nineteen years." he said, voice rougher than a second ago.

What the hell was he talking about?