CHAPTER SOMG - Born For This

I dipped my head under the shower and took deep pleasure in the steam running down my face and my whole body as it cooled some the soreness. My muscles burned, aching and throbbing like I just went through hell, and I suppose I did, physically. Getting thrown into the side wall by that grizzly bear on the other team will do that to you. I work out basically everyday with Maddox, but I wasn't used to being thrown into walls and crashed into ice, so this was new.

I didn't mind it; I would get use too it just like everything else. I shut my eyes, the image of Lina in the stands with an actual sign that said, "Go Mateo, cupcakes for the winner." made me grin to myself, and blood rush to my dick. Hell, she looked better in my jersey then any of the puck bunnies that were following the team around did. Even with the jersey down to her knees and hanging on her body like she was a little child in a sum wrestlers' shirt, she still looked effortlessly perfect.

The amount of time's I got distracted was ridicules, but it was so worth getting thrown into the wall. I tried to ignore her but failed to many times and I tried to push that off as her being such a damn sunshine that it was impossible not to look at her up there. Waving her sign around and jumping up and down with the most prettiness grin. I don't like her like that, no. At least that's what I keep telling myself. She's just someone I walk to class, someone I protect, and someone I found terribly cute. And still, I wouldn't forget the drop in my stomach when she left the game today. It felt like I lost my stomach for a second. Worse, like someone reached into my body and ripped my stomach out.

It felt so hollow I was shocking by it.

Lina was soft, to kind, and too happy to be who I needed. I knew who I needed. I needed someone tough enough to stand by me at every turn and corner and not tear up or try to hide. I needed someone who would act ruthless enough to match the cruelty in my soul. Lina didn't even know how to say a cuss words. She was just, just--. Fuck. She was a damn cute ass chipmunk and the thought made me smile.

And, now I find myself standing here, painfully hard with images of her flooding my brain. I couldn't reach the surface, everywhere I looked there she was. Smiling at me. Cheering for me. Looking at me like I was the god damn lord of the fucken universe or some.

I gripped my dick, starting to stoke it as I let my forehead hit the wall. Steam rose in the room, fogging up the glass walls of the showers and making me pant a little. I was pathetic, standing here getting myself off to a image of a girl who was to fucken innocent to be in my fucked up mind. But in that second, my sanity was slipping between the same finger wrapped around my dick and in my mind, I had her pressed against the wall, back arched into me and ready for me to fill her. In my mind, she was peering up at me with soft plump lips that just wanted to, no, needed to taste me. And in my goddamn mind, I was ready to fuck her tell all she was capable of was begging for me.

Only the universe hate me. I'm sure of it because the door of my bathroom started getting hammered on and ruined my chance of releasing. I groaned, slamming my hand into the wall with annoyance and swinging my head over in the direction. It hammered again, louder. I turned off the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around myself before walking to the door, as whoever was behind it hammered again.

"What?" I snapped, pulling the door open and finding Maddox with his phone in his hand, and flatness in his expression. His gaze swept over me, pausing on my clear hard on before he winced. "You know, I really didn't come here to see your dick, so can you like..." he waved his hand at me.

I narrowed my stare at him as I fixed the towel better. "You're the one that fucken interrupted and is looking for that matter."

He cringed, before brushing it off and looking back to me. His phone buzzed in his hand, and this time when he read it, his face mixed into worry and creased as his eyes brewed. I straightened, pulling my shoulder's high and back. "Where's your phone?" he asked, making me turn my head over my shoulder to find it on the counter. Turning around, I grabbed it and clicked it on.

Two texts message, and both of them threw me into a spin. A gut wrenching spin.

Okay, I know this group has been more for fun than any real problems, but I can still share if I have a problem, right? For explain my ex standing across the room of this party and staring at me? Does that sound like a problem?

Never-mind, no worries, I'll hide. Ignore me.

"Where is she?" I asked, shooting my attention back to Maddox who was switching between his legs, clearly uncomfortable and I don't know if it's because I looked like I might murder someone, or because he actually cared or because of the whole dick situation. In case anyone is wondering, boner, gone. Panic? Sky high.

"That football jock, Kevin. His party."

Grabbing another towel I wiped myself. "Call Ash, he was supposed to be at that party." I demanded, finishing the lousy wipe down in a hurry.

"I did. He was at a different party, but his heading there already. Kirsan is on his way too."

I rushed past him, grabbing a pair of underwear and jeans before putting them on as fast as I can. Because let's make one thing fucken clear. I'm not my dad, I feel things. I don't like to show it or mention it, but I do feel emotions and right now I'm terrified we might be too late. That something might happen to her and the thought of her looking utterly petrified the other day stole my breath. I can't suppress the urge to scream when I think of the way she shook behind me. "Fuck! Fuck!" I yelled, grabbing my shoes and putting them on.

I should have checked in with her. When she left, I had a thought and I fucken ignored it.

The devil on my shoulder was jumping eagerly, whispering to my dark soul and railing him up. Despite the growing anger though, I could feel the little specs of panic, and even fear that were wavering in and out of my chest. My lung's getting tighter and my stomach starting to twist as I grabbed the hoodie of my bed and rushed out the door, Maddox close behind me.

"Fuck." I winced as I tripped on the stairs and catching myself, lucky. "Slow down." Maddox muttered but he wasn't slowing down either.

I wouldn't though, slow down. Not when she could be scared right now with those big, sugar brown eyes, and quivering lip. No. My pace picked up as I blew past my mom making her spin around after me. "Hey! Where you going?"

I didn't slow. "I'll be back!" I yelled out.

"Mateo Adam, what the fuck is going on?" she yelled back, making me slow down and turn to her, even if I continued to walk backwards. I wouldn't have slowed down if I didn't hear the worry in her voice or the use of my middle name. "I need to do something." I explained poorly because that only made her narrow her sharp stare at me. I needed to give her something more or she would go full mother mood on me.

I sighed. "I'm fine mom. Everyone is fine but if I don't go right now, a girl might not be fine. So, I need to go, I'll explain it later."

She regarded me for a moment, and I grabbed the door handle, still looking at her. "Please mom." I said, feeling the panic seeping out of my throat and making her widen her eyes. Hell, I didn't mean to let it out, but I could barely swallow it the longer I thought about Lina somewhere completely shaken. My hands started to tremble in anger and finally my mom nodded. "Okay. Go, but be careful please, and I'm letting your dad know."

I gripped the handle, starting to turn it. "This isn't business, he doesn't need to know." I told her but she shook her head, glancing between Maddox and me. "Yes, he does. You have that look on your face that says you might kill someone tonight, and that is coming out of fear. He needs to know."

I didn't response. I turned and ran out the door because she's right. I might kill someone tonight and it will be from the fear so deep in my stomach that it is haunting me. And so badly that I was starting to feel nauseous.

Hopping into the car, I turned it on as Maddox buckled himself beside me. Joel ran out of the house, waving his hands at me but I didn't stop and instead put the car in drive. I didn't have time for him. He can caught up because no way am I fucken pausing.

"Address." I demanded, gripping the steering wheel as Maddox plugged his phone into the car and made the GPS flash up on the screen. Ten Minutes. That's six hundred seconds. The amount of mayhem I could cause in ten minutes is beyond imaginable. I could kill ten people in that time span. Ten minutes could be enough for something to happen that Lina wouldn't be able to come back from. I don't know what I would do then, and I don't know why I didn't know because it was the first time, I didn't have a plan. The first time I didn't know what to do to get rid of this feeling in my chest.

It's the first time I feel fear for the life of someone outside of my family and I hated the feeling desperately. I hated how much it sunk my gut into the bottom of my feet, and I couldn't do anything about it. "Call her." I said, but honestly it sounded like a fucken beg.

Maddox gripped his phone, scowling at it. "I tried, its keep's going to voicemail."

I growled, the darkness in me pulsing under my skin, seeking to be set free. Fuck, I was tempted too because it was burning me alive right now. "Call again." I demanded.

He did and the line rung. With each unanswered ring my chest tightened further until I could barely breath. Those short, shallow breaths were so fucken pointless that I might as well not be taking them at all. My grip tightened on the wheel to the point that it dug into my palms, painfully.

"Calm down. She's going to be fine." Maddox said, trying to reassure me, but it hardly worked because his own worry had clouded the reassurance and stuck with me. I could hear the drop of his voice, the clawing worry that seemed to fucken dig into me more.

I pressed on the gas, jerking the car and Maddox release a long breath. "Ash is there. His looking for her."

I nodded, trying to reassure myself that Ash has got this. And he did, I could count on him but I also knew that without seeing her for myself, I wouldn't calm. Two minutes. I could kill two people in two minutes. Two minutes might as well be a life worth of time, two minutes could be life or death.

Maddox tapped his knee anxiously. "Mateo. She doesn't live in the world we live in. Her life is not in the kind of danger that your mind has made up. He might rough her up, scare her even, but he wouldn't kill her."

His right. I knew this but my heart, brain, and both souls disagreed like it was their fucken duty. "He could hurt her." I said through clenched teeth, sharper then I intended, but hurting her was enough for my darkness to cry out in fury. Maddox grabbed my forearm and facing me. "And she will be fine after."

She could be, or she could not be. He didn't fucken know. She already has severe anxiety, and this wasn't going to make it better. I don't know why the thought drove me to borderline madness, but it did, and I couldn't stop my spinning mind. I couldn't stop the building darkness or the need to protect her with everything in me. I wasn't loyal to anyone but my family, and I didn't even care for anyone beside them, but I cared about her. Yesterday, today, and I knew for a fucken fact tomorrow I would care about her too. She has my loyally, and that was something I don't hand out like fucken candy. My protection meant she was supposed to be safe, and now---. I can't even think about it without feeling the urge to murder.

"His done after tonight." I said, sharp like ice. I channeled that anger into a direction that led to disaster. "I don't care what we do to him but after tonight he doesn't even look in her fucken direction."

Maddox sighed, leaning back in his seat. "Okay Mateo. Tonight, is it."

The words did little to calm me, but it was a promise either way. He was on my side, like always, and he would stand by me even when I had no idea where it is I stood. Because clearly, right now, I really did have no fucken clue where the hell I'm standing and why the hell I cared to protect this girl. I had no time to process it either because all I could think of was getting to her faster.

With the house in view, I swerved the car to the curb before turning it off, and leaping out of the car then running down the driveway. The house was packed, as was the front lawn, and doorway. I pushed past all the drunk students, looking for the only one I cared about. "Maddox, where are they?" I called out over my shoulder.

I waved around the students that were dancing, as music blasted through the speakers. Booze was flowing and someone even tried to hand me a cup before I shot them a death glare that made them shrink and run away. I would have laughed at how funny that was if I was just a little calmer right now. "This way." Maddox said, waving to the side and I marched behind him.

He led us down the living room and into the kitchen before grabbing the handle of the backdoor and yanking it open. I stepped out, scanning the whole scenes. Ash had his hand wrapped around Lina's ex throat, and was holding him up to the wall, cursing and threating him. A part of me wanted to go directly there, but I paused, seeing Lina with her arm's wrapped around herself and standing at the side of the pool with her head to the ground, shaking badly.

I marched past Ash and directly at her, stopping when I was only a few centimeters in front of her. Both of my soul's screamed in my ear to make sure she was okay and when she looked up at me, they both screeched back in hate because she wasn't okay. Before I could say anything, she jerked forward, attacking me with her body and curling in my chest, hiding. Tear's pooled in her eyes and soaked my shirt as she hiccupped into me.

Protectively, I wrapped my arms around her, turning away further from the people and held her in me. She shook in my arm's, her breath erotic as I cuddled her and rubbed my hand on her back. "It's okay, love. Your safe now." I whispered but my throat scratched at the words as they came out. My fear was gone because she was okay but replacing it was something stronger. It was worry, it was panic, it was sadness, and even pain. She was okay, but she wasn't, and I wish I could take that from her.

She sobbed into my chest, trying to catch her breath and I only tightened my hold on her, hoping that she knew that in my arm's she would always be safe. This was killing me, and somewhere inside me I wanted to raise hell and bring it down on the idiot behind me, but I stood there holding her instead. Because there was a bigger part, a stronger urge that screamed to not let go of this girl. To hold her until every last tear soaked my shirt and she could breathe again. "He won't come near you again, I promise." I swore to her, and I would make it happen. Come heaven, or hell I will keep my promise.

She didn't respond and I don't think she even could in the mist of shaking so badly. I pressed her into me tighter, trying to breathe through my own shallow breathes but it was like someone was sucking the life out of me the longer she cried in my arms. I hated it, loath everything and anyone that could ever do this too her. Chaos behind me was happening but I couldn't even focus on it because all I could do was hold the tiny girl in my hands that clung to me like I was her security blanket and fuck me because I would let her use me in any way she needed.

After another few second, and as gently as I could force myself, I spoke, "Look at me, love. Come on."

She gripped my shirt in response but I tried again. "Show me your beautiful eyes, amor." I said, feeling her stir in my hold, and watching her slowly lift her head. The look on her face broke me, splinting me into tiny fucken pieces. The tears in the rims of her eyes, pooling and spilling around the edge's twisted a knife into my heart. "You're okay."

She lip quivered as she sucked it in, a tear slipping down her face and I brought my hands up, wiping that tear away. "Did he touch you?" I asked, knowing the question could break me even further but I needed to know. I need to know the extent of the damage.

She blinked, starting to shake in my hold again. Fucken hell. No. "Hey, hey. Love. Look at me." I muttered, lifting her dropping chin, "You're okay, but I need you to tell me what he did because my head is spinning with all the worst thoughts, and I can't handle it much longer." I begged, giving her my brutal truth.

"He--, he grabbed me and cornered me into the wall." she inhaled deeply, but it shook anyways, "Then he yelled at me, and said really mean things. I tried, I tried really hard, Mateo. But he held my arms. I couldn't—I –" she paused as a hiccup came out of her. And I could see that she has no more fight left and it tore me. "Okay amor, okay." I whispered, pulling her back into my chest where she felt safe. Where she was safe, no matter what.

I just needed to make one thing clear. "Just tell me one thing. Did he touch you anywhere he shouldn't have?" I asked, praying for the answer to be no because I don't know if I could handle yes. I can handle pretty much anything but if she said yes, I think it will do some unrepairable damage to me. And maybe the universe doesn't hate me so much because she shook her head into my chest and relief washed over me so hard I almost chocked on it.

I rubbed her back, giving her more time until I noticed Kirsan walking over and stopping behind her. He glanced between Lina in my chest and me with a slightly concerned expression written on his normally impassive face. "What do you want us to do?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle and I almost wanted to thank him, but I think he already knew that. Knew how to handle the situation, probably better then me.

Truth was, I wanted him to leave. I wanted all the noise to fade. I wanted this night to end differently. I wanted the girl in my chest to smile. I wanted to take her pain away. I wanted to kill the idiot behind me. I wanted a lot of things but instead I glanced down at Lina who was still shaking a little but finally calming down and I knew I needed to deal with the situation. "Amor..." I whispered and watched her tip her head up to look at me, panicking starting to coat her glossy eyes.

She shook her head just a little. "Please don't leave me. I'm sorry I dirtied your shirt, Ill clean it for you but please don't leave me alone here. I don't want to go back inside, there's to many people. Please Mateo, I'm sorry." She whispered, choking on a sob again.