CHAPTER SONG - Dangerously - Charlie Puth

Arts and crafts are the best. Some say it actually is supposed to be good for your mental health, and as I grin at the glittery sign in front of me that I have been working on for the past hour, I'm starting to think those people are right. My sign says, "Go Mateo, cupcakes to the winner." And I made sure to paint some cupcakes on the sign, throwing glitter on them too. I was covered in it as well, but at least it was a good distraction.

What do I need a distraction from you may be wondering?

The disappointment in my tummy, is what.

My mom was gone by the time I woke up. She came home late last night at nine pm when I was cleaning up the kitchen from making myself dinner. A quick hello, a kiss on the cheek and she was off to bed. I woke up extra early today to make her breakfast, but she was gone only leaving a note on the table. Early shift. Love you baby.

I wanted it not to affect me, but it did. So instead of being sad about it, I threw all my focus into creating this big sign for tonight's hockey game. It was a home game, so I didn't have to worry about finding a ride, plus it was their first game of the season. After researching hockey for half the night yesterday, I have come to a conclusion. Hockey is not my favorite and it looked like a sport that should be renamed too Blood Bath. But Mateo was playing, and I was going to be supportive sally. His been more then kind to me, and I just wanted to extend that support to him too.

I got up off the floor, needing to clean up this mess so that I have enough time to eat before school. When I said I woke up early, I meant five am. Not that I slept much anyways so why did it matter if I got up an hour earlier from my tossing and turning. Sure, I'm tried but honestly I feel like I'm just getting used to living in this hazy state.

When I was done cleaning, I started making myself an avocado salmon toast. Right as I was about to take a bite, my phone rung. I grabbed it off the counter and answered it as I took that bite. "Hi." I said between chews.

"Why are you awake?" Emma demanded as I swallowed. "Well, you called me Em. If you thought I was asleep, why did you call?" I chuckled.

She paused for a second, before huffing like it was whatever and speaking again, "I just wanted to see how you're doing? Mom home?"

I sighed, knowing this wasn't going to go well and I already wasn't in the best of moods to deal with it but now I had no choose. Sometimes, I just wish she would drop the anger she has for mom. Or at least deal with mom on it, instead of putting me in the middle like a kid in a custody trial. "No. She had an early shift. I'm great. I am actually going to my first hockey game tonight. Mateo is playing and I made him a sign." I told her, hoping to distract her from the first part.

"Are you kidding me? She's not home? She told me last night she was going to be home before ten."

I grabbed the plate, setting it in the sink. "She was." I mumbled, not adding in that she went to bed the second she got home. I get it she's tired, or at least I'm trying to understand. My sister grumbling something to herself, "Wait..." she said, "A sign? Hockey game?"

I washed the dish. "Yep. His first hockey game." The excitement already starting to buzz a little.

"That's great Lin, at least you're keeping yourself busy. Don't stay out to late, and if you need a ride home let me know. Don't walk home."

I thanked her, and we talked for a few more minutes before hanging up so that I could get ready for the day. Having enough time, I decided to curl my hair. After that, I grabbed a pair of black ripped jeans and pulled them on. Grabbing Mateo's jersey, I tucked it into my jeans. Only to realize that oh sweet cake's this thing is huge. What was this? Extra, extra-large?

I eyed myself in the mirror trying to figure out a way to made it work. I tried to tug it out a little bit, which didn't work. I looked a little silly that's for sure but that thought fall out of my head almost instantly when I realized that I was wearing his jersey. I knew it was coming, but when he said might as well wear my jersey, I was a little shocked. And looking at myself now, in the mirror, in his jersey, I felt jittery. This was the same jersey he wore, the same one that his skin touched. Now, it touched me, and I wore nothing under it.

My cheek's tinted at the thought and I pressed my hands into my them trying to cool them, but they were only getting hotter. For the love of cake's, I cannot react like this to wearing his jersey. This was nothing but an act of support, even on his side. Shaking those thought's away I took a step away from the mirror, not wanting to look at myself any longer.

I tried to ignore the fact that it was his jersey that I was wearing as I made my way to school but I swear this large shirt was starting to shrink and making me more and more aware of it wrapped around my body. I know I shouldn't feel anything for him, not after Tony, or after I decided I needed to learn to get past this hurt but it seems my heart had another idea. Idea's that involved thumping like a drum in my chest as it got lost in thoughts of Mateo.

I jogged up to the front door to the school and with shaky hands grabbed the handle before yanking the door open, all well thinking about the name on my back that seemed to heat against my skin. Ramos. Ramos. Ramos. Ramos.

"Ramos!"

I spun around, instantly panicking. Did I manifest that because I have no idea how many times I chanted that name in my head. Oh, please don't tell me I was the one that actually said that outload. Lord? Can you hear me? Save me!

My gaze bounced across the hall wildly, finally landing on a Ramos. Ash in particular, and it was one of his buddies that was calling him. I could have fallen to my knees in relief in that second. Oh, thank the sweetness of every chocolate croissant.

I was still standing there when Sara came up to me. "Pretty, pretty Lina!" she grinned at me, looking down my outfit.

I turned fully to her, a excited smile on my face. "Look how silly I look. I swear it's like six sizes too big." I waved my hands at myself making Sara laugh, before she locked her arm with mine and led me down the hall. "You look cute. His biggest fan."

I swatted her. "Come on Sara, I'm his only fan. Everyone else is too scared to cheer for him. So, me and you—" I lifted the sign up so that she could see it, "Are holding this up today at the game."

Sara examined the sign and her face lit in a widespread grin that rose her plump lips. She nodded her head, making her dark ponytail bounce as she responded, "Oh that's perfect. I love it, the glitter especially. When did you have time?" she asked as we stopped beside her locker, and she let go on my hand.

I glanced around the hallway. "This morning." I muttered, avoiding her face. She doesn't voice her options about my mom, but I know she too isn't her biggest fan. Sometimes it felt like I was the only one still fight for her. Like I was standing against a pack of people telling me what's she's doing is wrong. As if I didn't already know that. As if I didn't wish that I could run over to their side and just hate my mom too. Except then who would stand on my mom's side?

She dug through her locker. "I thought you were going to have breakfast with your mom?"

I sighed, glancing down at the sign in my hand. "Yeah, she had an early shift."

Sara closed her locker, turning to me as I lifted my head up, only to find the sadness for me in her eyes, the pity that I didn't want. It's fine. I understand my mom is working hard. She has bills to pay, and whatever. "It's fine." I waved her off, giving her one of my best smiles.

'It's no—"

"Lina! That jersey is munching you up." Ash interrupted with a laugh, coming up beside us and cutting Sara off. Which, If I'm being honest, I was thankful for because I didn't want to hear another person tell me it wasn't okay. I know it wasn't, but I didn't have another option but to pretend it was. I can't change it and feeling sad about it only made it worse.

I waved my hands down my body. "I look great Ash." I pouted.

He nodded, tugging at the bottom of the jersey. "You do! Like a little perfect doll that was dressed by a four-year-old."

Sara sighed, obviously not liking that the conversation ended before she would have liked but joined in on the new conversation as we walked to class. Slowly, and surely, I was getting use too being walked to class, or maybe it was that I was starting to like those guys and even considering them friends. The stares I wasn't use too, but they were lessening, thankful.

The whole school buzzed with extra excitement today, and most of the teachers were rather annoyed about that because a lot of students were not paying attention in class. I was of course, but only because I had to pass all my classes if I want to be considered for the scholarship I applied for. Fingers crossed I get it because without it, I'm not going to my dream school. NYU, Steinhardt School of music.

It's always been a dream of mine to go to New York, and to study there would be everything I ever wanted. That's why when the teachers were complaining today about the chaos in school, I was busy doing all my schoolwork, and asking for extra credit. One of my acquaintance, Olivia Kuleb, one of the smartest students in school was already accepted into Cornell, and Columbia.

We had a few classes together, and she mentioned that she was excited about New York. And even though she was only a junior, she's graduating this year. She has all the credit's she needs, and we were friend's enough that she mentioned that we should meet up in New York some time. I might take her up on that offer.

Sure, I wouldn't say we were close friend or anything, but the girl was kind. She could be my friend, at least I could try to make her my friend. The girl was headstrong, and brilliant. A complete firecracker who was top in her class, and caption of the debate club. Actually, I want to be her friend. Now, I just need to figure out how to actually do that. Thinking about it, I'll make an effort in New York to meet up with her. That's a good start.

By the time lunch came around, I was just happy that half the day was over because even I was falling into the excitement. I kept tugged at the jersey, starting to feel more comfortable in it. The idea that its Mateo's would still cross my mind, and every time my stomach would flutter and every time, I would ignore it. As I made my way to the lunchroom, keeping my head down, I heard my name be called.

I glanced up from my phone, finding Calley walking directly at me, and waving. I smiled back at her with unease. I don't know her very well, but I know of her. She was the head cheerleader, and from the few times we spoke, she was nice enough. Not that I knew a lot about her, we weren't in the same group of people by any means. "Hi Calley." I said, wary of what she wanted from me.

She stopped in front of me, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder. "Hi Lina, I don't mean to bother you, I just have a question."

I nodded, titling my head a little, and trying to figure out what she could possibly want from me. We didn't have any class, other than gym together and we weren't the type of aquatints that just chatted. Putting her hand to her curved hip, she smiled at me. "Are you dating him? The oldest Ramos?" she asked making my insides jerk. I shook my head, a soft chuckle leaving my lips as I replied, "No. No. His just my friend."

She regarded me for a second before giving me a smile. "Okay. I was just checking because I was thinking of talking to him after the game."

For some reason, that bothered me. Actually, it sparked a little flame of anger inside of me, and that flame coiled under my skin which was odd because I wasn't one that usually got mad, so I ignored it. "Go for it." I said, immediately hating the taste of those words in my mouth.

She gave me another smile, before saving goodbye and walking off. Leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth as I continued to the lunchroom, mauling over Calley's question and the way it was making me cringe inside. I wish she wouldn't talk to him. I don't know why I wished that, but I did. The idea of them together actually hurt my head, twisted my stomach and ruined my mood. I knew it was because of my small, tiny, puny developing crushing that I'm ignoring because it was completely inappropriate but still. The idea of them together saddened me and all of a sudden, this shirt was starting to feel skin tight, again.

I plopped down at the table, feeling bothered by Calley's question more and more, and by the way it was making me feel all squirmy inside. Ash and Sara were already studying because ever since the first time, Sara has taken it upon herself to actually help Ash pass his classes. Even if his trying really hard to not do this work, Sara was on top of it. He was a challenge for him, and she liked that. Plus, he was benefiting from it because his grades have already started to rise.

In the seat beside me, Kirsan was leaning over the table, reading a book. His black slack's were tugged up at his knees for comfort, and his black half turtleneck tee, showed off his muscular arms. For a second, I found myself starting at him because the guy was stunning. In a cold way, like the artic ocean. Silent, deadly, and beautiful. Everything about him was sharp, and frozen, like he could suck the soul out of you with just a word.

Oh, holy fluff's, I'm staring. My check's flushed as I looked away, focusing on the book his reading. Nowhere could I find a name in the page that it was open too. So, I resorted to asking, hoping it would distract me from this discomfort in my stomach I was still feeling. "What are you reading?"

He leaned backwards, rolling out his shoulder and pressed a hand to the book before looking over at me. His eyes darker than usual, almost mahogany and they swept over me, eyeing the jersey for a second before he spoke, "Before The Coffee Gets Cold, By Toshikazu Kawaguchi."

I nodded, squirming a little from the intense look on his face. And my voice came out a little weaker then I intended for it too, "What's it about?"

I watched him bookmark the page and shut the book. Finally, I could see the cover, could see the two chairs in front of a coffee table, and two drinking cups on the table. A cute cat sat beside one of the chairs. And I glanced back to Kirsan just as he started speaking.

"At the end of the day, whether one returns to the past or travels to the future, the present doesn't change." he quoted.

I raised a brow at him in a questioning matter, but he continued on, "It's a quote from the book. The story takes place in Tokyo, at a café. It's about four people, that go to this café, were legend say's you can travel back in time with a set of rules. One of them being you have to come back by the time your coffee gets cold. I think it will end up being a classic in the future. It's exploring human relationship as they grow and change. It supposes to be heartwarming, but I just find it incredibly engaging." he shrugged.

I smiled, liking the way he described the book and made it sounded incredibly interesting. I liked books that were nonfiction but still thought lesson's, making you think and even feel things. I didn't have a whole lot of time to read on a daily basis, but I did like to read when I can. "Send me the name of the author, I might read it." I said and he nodded, pulling out his phone.

I looked away, up to the two chairs scaping the ground as two more people filled the table across from us. I narrowed my eyes automatically at Maddox' grin. Something about it looked like he was amused by me. Heck, the guy's grin was always a mix between a threat, and a laugh. Neither safe.

I sat up. "What?" but he didn't respond, just swept his gaze over me, laughter lingering in the pale grey shades of his eyes. I did not like the way he was looking at me, as if he had something to say. "Say it, buttercup." I waved my hand at him.

He pinched his lips together, chuckling under his breath. "Nothing. You just look funny is all. Kind of adorable, but still that jersey is humongous on you."

My eyes widened in shock. "What do you want me to do about it? Your friend is a giant." I pointed at Mateo, who watched us with an amused look that clearly said he found it as funny. "Plus. I am being supportive." I huffed, crossing my arms.

Maddox sighed with a grin. "And who's going to support me?" he asked, pointing to himself and looking like he was trying to pretend that he was hurt by the fact. Liar, liar, pant's on fire.

I lifted my hand, waving it around the cafeteria. "The school, clearly. There's going to be people in the stand's, cheering for you to win. That's literally the reason they are there. The sole reason. To cheer for you." I explained, grabbing my apple and taking a bite.

I don't know what it is about Maddox that really pushes my button's. All I know is that somehow, I'm able to talk back to him and not shrink away. Maybe it's the way he always pushes to get a response, as if his purpose in life is to annoy me and get me to respond with a snarky response. Usually, he wins.

Mateo pulled his leg up to her seat, black washed-out jean's bending at the knee. Setting his arm loosely on his knee, he looked over to Maddox for a reply. A smirk playing on his face that got wiped off as soon as Maddox swung his hand sideway, and smacked his chest. "But no one is going to support me personally like this one here gets. It's utterly unfair if you ask me."

Mateo whizzed a little, dropping his knee and coughed into his fist. And I narrowed my gaze at Maddox. "You aren't special. It would be unfair if someone kicked you under the table right now."

Maddox slid his leg's apart. "Don't you dare, sweetheart." he turned his attention to Mateo, "Tell her not to kick me."

I raised my brow, snickering to myself. It's not as if I was actually going to kick him because that would be really mean, but it's the threat that counts. He thought me that himself. Multiple times telling me that if I get in trouble, to just act like a crazy person. Because apparently, everyone is afraid of crazy people. Advise from Maddox's, lady and gentlemen. Use it wisely.

Mateo didn't find him so funny as he glared at him. "I wouldn't worried about her kick you, me on the other hand, you should be very fucken worried about because I'm about to snap you in half."

Maddox rolled his eyes, slumping in his chair. "Then who's going to put up with your ass? Honestly, you would be bored out of your mind without me. I make your life fun. I'm the sparkling star in your life. Without me, you would die. It's a lot of work, you know? Being the only one to make you smile. No one would be as good as I am either."

I chuckled, watching them argue between each other. The two definitely couldn't live without each other. And as Mateo rolled his eyes, and his lip's tiled up a little, I knew I was right. Stretching his arms across the table, he eyed Maddox. "The sparkling star? How highly you think of yourself. Your more like donkey, from Shrek."