CHAPTER SONG: Only, NF

"Kirsan!" I squalled, jogging over to him and throwing my arms around him. He chuckled, wrapping one arm around my waist and squeezing me. Seven whole days. That's how long his been gone, along with his brother and Maddox. "I didn't realize I was going to be this missed, dear." he chuckled as we pulled back.

Stepping out his embrace I grinned at him. His matte brown eye's drawn wide as he looked down at me, fixing the sleeve of his stripped white and black flannel. It hung loosely on him, but it wasn't hard to find all the edge's and curve's of Kirsan. Just like his brother's, he was built. Strong arm's, and broad shoulder's, he stood at over six foot and gave me a light smile. I grinned back at him. "Of course you're missed. You're my prime walking buddy." I told him.

He smirked, giving me a titled look that drew the heaviness under is eyes. "Good to know then. I'll keep that in mind for next time. I truly hope Ash has kept you entertained with his extraordinary personality. As well as comfortably protected." he asked, waving his hand sideways, and signaling to start walking.

I did, falling in step beside him. "He has. You won't believe half the thing's this boy has told me. I can't even keep up with him sometimes. One moment his telling me about his skydiving trip, and the next, his explaining different type's of colors. I wasn't even aware of the amount of different blue's there are out there." I chuckled, remember Ash listing them of like candy flavors.

Kirsan laughed, bumping into me as he hiked up his backpack, or possibly from the limp he has on his left leg. He wore black skinny jeans, and Gucci slipper's, making him look's stylish and comfortable at the same times. Still, even comfortable, he looked extremely tired. Like he could use a nap, or three. I didn't mention it, considering it's not really my business. Whatever had happened, took a definite toll. He replied, "I believe you. Ash can be a handful to keep up with, even he is a challenge to himself. It's part of is charm he say's, but in reality it's just how his mind works. It's a web of unthought out information, and his just trying to get through all of it at the same times."

I smiled. "His great. I'll bet it was fun growing up with him. The guy doesn't have a dull moment."

It had too be. I believe that even if it wasn't always fun, having each other is everything. They have someone for company, someone to watch a movie with or do absolutely nothing with. All the good, the bad, and everything in between they had each other. They could always turn, and rely on each other. They were family, and that's greater then anything.

As we turned the corner, I slipped my gaze up and caught the smile on his face that looked like it was held up by the last inch's of energy he had. Worry plumped my stomach. "I hope everything is okay with your family." I said, softly and hoping I didn't sound to noisy. Ash didn't mention the topic after that day, and I didn't think it was my business.

Beside me, Kirsan nodded, "It should be now. Thank you."

"Good." I smiled, stopping beside my class and turning to look at him. I haven't gotten use to the stares by any means but they were starting to lesson with each day. Or perhaps people were just getting use to the fact that somehow I was friends with the Ramos brothers. And not only that but the Ramos brother's are walking me to class. They might get use to it, but I was still having a hard time. Either way I enjoyed their company, and to that fact I hung on.

Kirsan sighed, lifting his hand and grazing it across his straight jaw. "Advice?—" he asked, dropping his hand, "Don't take Mateo's mood to the heart. His holding himself together very well, but this week, its affect him just like the rest of us."

I shifted on my feet, worry starting to grow in my chest. Tipping my head up, I asked, "What's wrong with him? Anything I can help with?"

Kirsan stood straighter, unbuttoning the top of his flannel and shook his head. "No. If there was anything to be done, I would have tried already. Other then Maddox, there isn't much that can ease him. He carries his own problems on his shoulder, and he tried to take ours too. He think's his protecting us, and perhaps is he but we all know the weight and his piling it all onto himself. I just want you too fully understand that it hasn't been smooth for him this past week."

I nodded, putting a hand to my stomach because I was starting to feel a little uneasy. And Kirsan regarded me for another second. "Take it easy dear, his fine. His one of the strongest people I know." tipping his head down, he finished, "I'll see you later."

Turning, he walked down the hall. And I watched him until the bell rung, pulling me out of my thoughts. The same thought's that were running in circle's around my mind, and working me into such an worry that I was temped to check in with Mateo. I thought about it several time's over the week, but was to much off a scaredy-cat. Plus, would it make a difference?

I turned, keeping my head down and made my way to seat. I found it easier to do that then to see the amount of people gawking at me like I was dressed in a full Mickey Mouse suit and just hangout in it. Sliding into the seat beside Maddox, I slid down a bit till about my mid chest was reaching my desk. Some of the student's from the front row had turned, looking at me.

"Kirsan get's a hug, and I get nothing. Not even a measly hello Maddox, so nice to see you. I missed you crazy much."

"I didn't miss you." I muttered, finding the courage to look up to see if they finally turned around. They did, and I relaxed a little as Maddox chuckled. "Once again, lie. Sweetheart, I am basically a human lie detector, no need to keep it up. Just say you missed me, and we'll move on."

I swung my head to look at him. "I didn't miss you. And why you think this highly of yourself should really be a sign of your ego problems." I said, keeping my face straight but honestly my smile was slipping and of course Maddox caught it.

He pointed his finger at me. "You're pretty face says otherwise. Come on sweetheart, say you missed me."

Crossing my arm, I knew my smile was a dead give away. Fine, I even missed Maddox. Just a little. A tiny, winy bit. "Fine, if it keep's you from whining, I'll admit to missing you." I told him.

His smile grew instantly and he slumped back in his chair. "I knew it. You missed me most."

I rolled my eye's, grabbing my backpack off the floor were I dumped it. "That's a big leap there, Maddox. I didn't say I missed you most." I told him.

"Your right, my mistake. You missed Mateo most." he said, wiggling his brow's at me. My hand's froze on the zipper, and cheek's started burning up. The rest of my body followed along, warming to the point that it felt like I was sitting in a sauna. Expect there was no health benefits here, because at least in the sauna my skin would clear up but here all I got was gutted embarrassment. Instead of stopping his running mouth there, Madd's kept going, "Of course, I'm totally second after that. So, I'm second most missed, and I'll take it."

I swallowed, forcing myself to unzip the backpack. My gaze, sticking to anywhere but Maddox because I knew he could see me burning up and I didn't want to know his expression on that. I'm sure it was one of his smirks, or lovely eye rolls. Neither of which I felt the need to see. "Whatever." I muttered, replying with the lamest comeback. And Maddox laughed, grabbing his own backpack and pulling his binder out. "Whatever." he mocked me.

"What are you, five?" I mumbled, setting my backpack on the ground again, and placing my textbook on the table before dared to look over at Maddox.

He didn't bother answering but even he looked a little tired, slumped in the chair with untamed beach hair. Not that it wasn't his usual look, but there was something heavier about his pale grey eyes today. Almost tripping them to the empty side of blue skies. And he definitely looked like he needed a nap, or five. But I was glad they were back. I was use to it just being Sara and I, but after spend time with them and getting to know them a little I realized that somehow they became my friends too, and the point is I'm glad they are back. Unhurt, and smiling, even if they looked deadly tired.

"What?" Maddox asked, raising his brow at me and making me realize I was staring at him. Well, spacing off but still. I shook my head, turning to face forward. "Nothing."

I didn't make friends easily because before your friends with someone you are strangers and stranger make me uncomfortable. My sister says I need to move past that night, not let it effect me but its not as easy as just stepping over a block. When I'm around stranger's my whole body clamps up and I feel like I'm fighting against myself. Against my mind, my body, and even my air. Everything in that moment is against me, and I'm only one person, so how do I fight against everything? Mateo and his little pack didn't give me a chance to thinking about it, to be strangers. They came in, deciding to insert them-self into my life's and for that I'm thankful. Maybe it's because it felt like they fought for me, fought that fight I don't know how to win and they won for me. And lately I'm just so tired of fighting. It's dumb and not something I'll ever tell them but I'm glad I ran into Mateo that day in the locker room.

Maddox tapped my desk getting my attention. "Tomorrow is cupcake day. I'm grabbing some before school, you want some?"

An idea sprung in my head, twisting my lips up into a grin. "How about I actually bake some?"

Maddox shrugged uncaringly. "That sounds like a lot of work but if you have nothing better to do then whatever."

"Its nothing." I waved him off, "What flavors does the cupcake king like?" I asked, pulling out my phone and tapping the note's app.

Maddox turning his head into my direction, a wide grin spreading on his face before he snatched up his phone. "Oh that's his new contact's name. His going to love that shit."

I grinned, trying not to laugh. I'm glad I got to add onto Maddox's list of thing's to make fun of Mateo for, maybe he can make Mateo smile because we all know the man need's some smiles in his life. I was still thinking about that, when Maddox finished with his phone, and set it down, before leaning in beside me to keep his tone down, "As for flavor anything with strawberry's, chocolate, blueberry, lemon—-" he paused for a second, "Actually that list is shorter if I just tell you what he doesn't like instead. Cinnamon and butterscotch."

I nodded, typing that real quick. No cinnamon, or butterscotch. Look at that, a few facts about Mateo.

"Mr. Valleto, can I talk to you for a second?" the teacher called, singling her finger in his direction. Maddox groaned, lifting off his chair and made his way up to the front while I started on the worksheet that was assigned to us, flipping through the textbook to find the answers and thinking about what kind of cupcake's to make. It had to be more then one flavor, which meant I would need to make several batches. Maybe some lemon blueberry once's? Or maybe Strawberry shortcake? I grinned to myself already starting to get excited. It's a lot of work, but at least it will keep me busy for the night because mom is working another double. Emma said she would stop by, and she'll be a great taste tester.

It wasn't until Maddox dropped beside me again that I looked back up. "Fucken bullshit." he groaned, tapping on his phone. I furrowed my brow in confusion to his pissed off look. He was fine a few minutes ago, what happen? Before I could ask, my phone buzzed in my jacket, and I pulled it out.

Maddox – Someone take Lina to her next class.

The chat grew active immediately.

Mateo – Why can't you?

Maddox – I got detention.

Kirsan – Isn't that usually after school?

Ash – I have detention too. Mr. Katen room?

Maddox – Yep.

Ash – See you soon munchkin.

Mateo – The fuck you all have detention for?

Ash – Jelly?

Mateo – Ill walk Lina. Answer my question.

Ash – Skipping class. To my defense, I was helping Lil's.

Maddox – To many missing assignments. Ash, Lil's doesn't need help getting dad to loose his shit, she's a pro all on her own.

Kirsan – Kind of funny considering last nights lecture.

Maddox – Shut up Kirsan.

Me - I can walk myself if its to much trouble. No worries or hurt feeling from me. :)

Mateo - Your not walking yourself, love. I'll walk you.

Kirsan - Don't even step foot out of that classroom without an escort.

Ash - What the grouches said.

I tried not to worry to much considering Kirsan's earlier comment, but Mateo seemed fine. Well, as fine as Mateo was normally. I suppose I'll see after class and will know better. Until then, no point of dwelling. I told myself that several times, and guess what I still did. Dwelled, with a capital D. Pocketing my phone, I decided to try to trick my mind away from it's current favorite topic and looked over at a grumpy Maddox. "If you need some note's from last week, let me know." I offered.

He glanced over at me. "Thank's sweetheart. I'll take you up on that." he said and I grabbed my binder, pulling out the notes and handed them to him. He nodded in a thank you before starting to look over them, slumped in his seat and still as grumpy as the grinch who stole Christmas. The image was kind of funny, and was almost enough to distract me from the annoying worry in my stomach. Almost. But not quite. But by the time the bell rung I had my worksheet filled out and turned in. Which I was proud of because it wasn't due until tomorrow, and now that gave me the free time I'll need with the many different cupcake's I plan to be making tonight. At least four different flavors.

I swung my backpack over my shoulder, waving at Maddox as he stayed unhappily in the classroom. Making my way out the class, I was excited to see Mateo and when I saw him leaning on the wall outside my class I couldn't contain the grin building on my face. A bundle of butterflies swarmed my stomach as I walked over to him just to see him lean off the wall, straightening his black tee as he looked over me.

I tried to ignore the way that made my cheek's flush, but I know he saw. "Your here!" I said, coming up too him. I need a second to get rid of this tint of my cheek's, so I busied myself by tucking in my sweater into the pretty black shirt I wore today. When I looked up at him, I smiled. "Glad to see your alive." I said.

His lip's pulled into a side smirk. "Love, there isn't much that can kill me, but its interesting to know you care so much."

I grinned at him, glad to see that whatever Kirsan was talking about clearly wasn't true, Mateo was perfectly fine. "I care about my friends."

He chuckled, a sound so pleasing that I found myself listening to every second of it like a song I never wanted to stop listening too. "We are friends now, are we?" he asked, smirking.

I shrugged as he started walking and I fell into step beside him. "Are we not? Well me and you I don't know. I'm friends with Kirsan though, I gave him a hug today and he even hugged me back. Ash is my best buds, he stole half my lunch almost every day last week. And Maddox, well I shared my notes with him so we are working on it."

He looked towards me, a crooked grin settling on his lips. "You understand that you can tell Ash to fuck off, right? You aren't required to share your food with him. The choice is yours."

I gasped, looking up at him. "That would be so mean! Plus, I don't mind, like I said best buds. The boy walks me to class everyday, the least I could do is share my lunch."

Mateo chuckled, dodging a student and looked back at me. "He would walk you to class regardless of you sharing your food. I told him to do it, and he won't stop walking you to class if you decided you don't want to share your food with him."

I thought about it for a second. I suppose he won't stop but it didn't matter, I was happy sharing my food. Every time his face lit so happily, and he even sometimes shared his owned food with me. I was bonding with him, and I was happy for it. I shrugged. "It's fine. I don't mind."

"As long as your okay with it." Mateo replied, and I reached out to press my hand into the side of his arm to tell him that it was fine but didn't get there because he flinched under my touch. It was almost unnoticeable, but I felt it under my palm. His body jerked away and tension filled it profoundly. I snapped my hand away, confused by his reaction and he inhaled sharply. "Fuck Lina, sorry. That has nothing to do with you, its been a long week." he tried to explain, stopping us from walking.

Kirsan said he might not be in a good mood, but his mood was fine this was more then that. I turned to look at him, keeping my hands plastered to my side. Why did he reach like that? It was nothing but just a touch, was it my touch? No, he just said it wasn't. So what happen that has him physically retracting from human touch. What happened that even something so simple as touching made him flinch.

I opened my mouth to ask him if he was okay but right then a student rushed by, bumping into him and making him sway forward. His face twisted, and anxiety sprung into every spec of his mixed colored eyes. His breathing speed up, and he looked like he wanted to throw up, or maybe just find a place to get himself together, again. I knew the feeling all to well. I wanted to step forward but I wasn't sure if that was a good idea, plus he was already standing just in front of me. "Are you okay?" I asked, eyeing him.

He blinked, trying to get rid of his emotions but they held on. Another student walked by, brushing against him and I watched his eyes snap shut, and jaw tighten further, sharpened his angled face. His body twitched, like a shiver ran threw him and I swear he was about to start running out of the building. All this touching, all those people, it was all to much.

"Did you know that without sloths we wouldn't have any avocados?"

He opened his eyes, regarding me with saying a word and I kept going, "Yep, sloths were some of the only mammals that could digest the avocado seed whole. They ate them and would take obvious poop the seed out somewhere else. It's gross, I know, but that was how sloths spread avocados around the world."

I remember reading somewhere that when someone is about to have a panic attack, that distracting them may help. Right now, that seemed to be working because his breathing was starting to even out. So, I kept going, "They are also particularly blind in fact."

The bell rung, leaving us in an empty hallways. I kept going, "Not fully, but basically. They are color-blind and can see poorly in the dim light but are mostly blind in the daylight. Thankful they have excellent sense of smell, and amazing memory, so I guess that makes up for it. Also, did you know they are faster in the water than on land?"