CHAPTER SONG - That Way - Tate McRae

I didn't see Mateo for the next few days, but Ash was there. He walked me to every class, and even acted like his charming self. We didn't mention that all his brothers were gone, along with Maddox and I didn't ask. Even if some noisy part of me wanted too, that seemed to be an off limit topic. Ash kept me entertained with a whole lot of things. From telling me about his favorite soda flavor's, to what his childhood stories. I thought I talked a lot, not compared to Ash. The kid had a mouth on him, and I swear it never stopped moving.

I kind of wish it was Ash entertaining me right now and not what I have to deal with instead.

"Can you please suck it up and just go along with it?" My sister asked, hovering a dress in front of me. "Em, I don't want to go." I whined.

I knew it would do every little, and it was very childish of me, but I had no interest in going to this brunch. Not when I had plenty of homework too do, essay to write for scholarships and sleep to catch up on. Not that I would have caught it anyways but still, brunch did not sound fun. Especially with her friends, who were older then me. I felt like the little sister tagging along because mom said so. Exactly in my case, my mom didn't ask, she probably doesn't even care. In my case Em was trying to drag me out of the house and pretend to be my mom.

Emma sighed, looking up at me with her own pair of shadowed brown eyes. "Come on Lina, you have been holing your self up in this house for some times now and Mom isn't around to even notice it."

Emma was never pleased with my mom's working behavior. She was convince that it was my mom hiding from the world, throwing herself into her work, perhaps. Emma was also convinced that mom was not doing a great job in raising me. Considering I'm an adult according to the world, I don't know how much more raising there is too do.

Since dad left, Emma has token it upon herself to push mom's bottoms. I don't know why, I don't understand why she is so angry with mom like its her fault but every time I ask she waves me off like I'm child. Sometimes I feel like she just has no idea where to direct her anger because dad isn't around to throw it at, so she throws it at mom. Sure, I'm not to pleased with my mom either. I'm sure there's a stronger feeling then unpleased there but being who I am, I'm hiding from it. Corner of avoidance, for the win.

I sighed. "I have not been holing up." I muttered, glancing around the mess she has made in my room trying to dress me. I can dress myself, but she doesn't want to hear it and its easier to just let her come in like a storm and create a tornado in my room. "You totally are! Your coming, end off."

End off.

I grabbed the brownish dress off the ground and held it up too her. "How about this?"

She looked down it for a second, her smile growing. "Perfect! Yes totally see you in that."

Its my clothing, so that made no sense but I didn't mention it. Why would I have something that isn't total me. I'm being crappy, I know. Miss Crabby pant's over here but I really didn't want to go. I rather curl up in my blanket with some popcorn and watch a movie. Or read a book. Or honestly a million other things then go out to brunch. Really, I can make a four page list. No one is asking me thought. Wither I want to go, that's not up for question.

I slipped the dress on, grabbing a pair of sneaker and put them on. Emma was sitting on my bed, anxiously waiting for me. Oh how Sara would be proud to know I am actually leaving the house this weekend. She would have a cow with that. "Ready." I muttered looking around the room again, at how much of a mess this is. A mess, I am left to clean. I'm just putting this out there, ten minutes ago my room was sparkling clean.

From my bed, Emma got up, dodging all the clothing on the floor and walked down the hall. With a sigh I followed her. It was easier then explaining all the reasons why I don't want to go out, or why I rather sit at home. Not that she would let me, she would listen, nod her head and countine to do what she thinks is best for me.

"Mom doesn't even raise you anymore! If she can't I will." She told me one time and oh how she has took it upon herself to do so. Not to long ago she even tried to force mom to let me live with her. Thank goodness mom stood her ground because I could not live with Emma. I love her to death but she is so overbearing sometimes that its exhausting. Sure, maybe I would be less lonely but I don't want to be consistently probed about how bad of a job mom is doing.

I locked the house and made my way over to her car, slipping into the passaging seat. "How school? Tell me everything, I know mom doesn't ask."

The jab at mom made me cringe but I just smiled through it, as usual. "It's good. I'm passing all my classes."

"I sure hope you are. How is the whole situation with Tony?"

I kind of didn't want to tell her, actually I really didn't because she would make it a big deal. I didn't want too tell her that he has gone out of his way to try to talk to me, and bother me. That I literally have people walking me to class and that I almost had a panic attacked the other day when I left class and Kirsan wasn't there yet. I saw Tony walking directly at me, and I knew he wanted to talk to me again. Thank goodness Kirsan turned the corner and the moment Tony saw him, he walked the other way.

I didn't want to tell her any of this, but Emma would see right through me. So I settled on an answer that I would hope would take her off my back."It's better then it was. I actually found some reinforcement." I muttered, praying she wouldn't dig into it.

She did. "What does that mean? Is he still bothering you? I knew that kid was not good from the beginning. I told mom! Do I need to talk to your school?"

I shook my head wildly. "No! Emma no. It's fine. He can't bother me if he even wanted too." They wouldn't let him. He wouldn't.

She turned on the blinder, coming to a stop at the light and turned to look at me. All her attention froze on me, and I wanted to climb out the car and start running. "What does that mean?" she asked, worry sitting in her expression. I loved my sister, to death. I know she's trying. I know she has her own hurt from dad leaving. I get it. She come's around more then mom, and she call's a lot. All of this, she think's it's best for me.

I took a breath. Might as well tell her the whole story because I knew she wouldn't stop, no matter what and in the end, she would end up talking to my school and that would just be a bigger mess. I told her the whole story, starting from the locker room to the group chat. With my final string of words I inhaled deeply feeling like all those words have been flowing out of me, not giving me a second to breath. "As you see, I am fine now." I finished.

She looked in my direction as she parked her car. "Fine doesn't even sound remotely correct but those boys seem to be handling the situation for the time being." I'm surprised she didn't say more. Not even a warning. I honestly expected that. But hey, thank every sweet cherry out there, she would not march into my school and try to create a fuss. "Doesn't mean I like him either." Ah, there it is.

I glanced in her direction, confused by her warning. It wasn't really a warning, a statement would define it better. "Like him?"

She shot me a look, unbuckling herself. "Well yes like him. His not doing this just because. Boys don't do anything just because. There's an alternative motive."

I shook my head. There was not. Mateo was helping me, being nice too me. He hasn't asked anything off me and only offered his protection. His been nothing but kind as have his brothers. There was no alternative motive and I wasn't going to believe that. Mateo might be the guy everyone is afraid off, but I am not afraid of him. He hasn't given me a single reason, and unlike everyone else I wasn't going to judge him based on his permanent scowl. I'm still convince that when he smile, stars will fall from the sky. Okay, that's dramatic but you got the point. It's going to be a big WHOA moment.

I unbuckled my seat. "No alternative motive. His just helping me."

She stared at me for a second, unconvinced by my words but I didn't need her too be. I was convinced and that was enough. "Sure. The point is, keep your eyes open baby sister."

An hour in, I was right about brunch being a drag. I didn't talk much and just sipped on my lemonade, while plucked at the fires. Emma and her friends talk around me, trying to get me to join in on the conversation but eventually they stopped. Her words kept circling around my head. Alternative motive.

There was no way. Wouldn't he have been said something up front? Plus, I repeatedly told them, and him that this was not necessary. I told them they don't have too do this so at the end this was their choose and I don't owe them anything. Maybe a thank you and some cupcakes but nothing more. Their choices were their own, and I am not held accountable for them. If they choose to waste their time walking me to class every day and spend their lunch at our table then it was on them. Although if I'm being honest, I was starting to enjoy their company.

They were all so vastly different, but all the same. Everyday was something new with Ash and I loved it, it kept me on my toes. His a drama queen and a joker, kept me laughing and when I was laughing, I wasn't crying. Kirsan was quieter but when I challenged him into a game of flash questions the other day it was like he lit up. I learned Kirsan is really competitive and loves to win. Any game, he would play. Also he is incredible smart. Is part of chess club, and debate club. I challenged him to a spelling bee, as childish as that sounds and let's just say I lost. Big time.

Maddox is, well Maddox. Annoying, always has some smart remark and find's everything a joke but even him I was starting to get use too. Mateo out of them was the leader and you could tell easily. They looked to him for directions, and anything he said it was like nothing would stop them from doing what he asked. They respected him to a point I never knew existed, and it was actually kind of interesting. I learned more about cupcake day which really is just a way to limit Mateo from eating cupcakes every day. His quite, and says very little but when he talks I find myself paying attention to every single words. Hanging onto it like it was something magical.

I was thankful for them because they kept me from thinking about the hurt that was still painfully alive. Sometime's thought, I can feel it fade a little. Tiny bit, but it's noticeable, and I know its because of them, because of Sara. They have all been supportive, with kind words, and thoughtful actions.

By the time Emma brought me home I was tired and convinced I could sleep. "You sure you don't want to stay at my house tonight? What time mom even come home?"

I leaned over her window as she stared up at me from inside the car. "Em, stop worrying. You realize I'm an adult that is going off to collage next year, right? Ill be all alone then anyways, its good practice." I smiled at her, trying to ease her tension. In the process lying to myself. I had enough practice.

"You shouldn't have to practice being alone in your own house. She should be there, she would be if he was still around."

I sighed, glancing away. She's right. She was always around when dad was still living with us. Like I said, after he left, mom stopped being mom. "It's okay Em. I'm just going to go to sleep, you tired me out."

She chuckled, spinning with her wedding ring. "You know I'm just worried about you right? I don't like thinking of you all alone."

I leaned off the car and smiled down at her. "I appreciate the care. Em. I love you too but I promise I'm fine."

Debatable, but I wasn't going to say that. She regarded me for a second before giving me a nod. "Okay. Go inside, I want to make sure you get in there."

I know she can be a lot, more than even I can handle sometimes but it all came from her heart. It all came out of love and that's why I never held it against her. I locked the door behind me, leaning back on it. It was the silence in the house making me sigh. I wouldn't admit to Em that she was right, that I hated being in this house alone. I wouldn't admit it because that would be admitting that she's right about mom. I know mom was hurting but weren't we all? Didn't we all lose him? She lost her husband, I lost my father. I wasn't allowed to act hurt, or even cry about it because everyone kept saying that it won't help, but who's going to tell her?

Who's going to tell her that I miss her? That I haven't seen her in days and I feel like I'm living in this house alone? Who's going to tell her that just because she's falling apart doesn't mean the rest of us aren't? It won't be me telling her, and Emma is to mad to make mom see this. Emma is as hurt as I am, I just never resorted to turning on mom. I missed her, I missed dad and somehow in the end I ended up alone and missing the old me.

So no, I don't mind the quietness but sometimes I wish there was noise. Chaos even.