CHAPTER SONG - Kind of love, Natalie Jan

"Lina?"

I spun around but didn't recognize anyone I knew. Odd balls. Sara glanced around too, but her face told me she had no idea who called my name also. Isn't that a mystery.

I turned to Sara about to comment on that when a boy steps out from beside the classroom door in black convers, black joggers and a grey Nike hoodie. A black cap sat on his head. And he grabbed it, swinging it backwards as his gaze swept over me. He was younger than me, but taller and his face was hardened under the grin he had spread across it. Something about him looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. His raven brown hair, poking out from underneath the hat. And he was oddly built for someone to young. "Your Lina, right?" he asked, stepping forward.

I nodded, confused by the stranger I have never met but I swear looked familiar. And he stuck his fist out, knuckling pointed at me. "Sweet, names Ash."

He held his hand there, waiting. Was he waiting for a fist bump? Should I step back? I want too, but that would rude. I hesitated for a second, growing wary. I wasn't always like this; it started a few years ago. A moment in my life that I don't try to think too hard about and a moment that changed how I viewed strangers.

I pulled my hand out with hesitation, and softly bumped his fist. His face lit. "Cool, cool!"

I staggered back a little. "Do I know you?"

He shook his head, a pretty boy grin on his face and dropped his arms to his side. "Not yet. But I'm your fierce leader too—" he paused, digging through his backpack before pulling out a piece of paper. He glanced up at me, unfolding the paper. His eyes shades of whiskey and toffee. Tipping between wanting to warm and wanting to freeze.

I learned forward, curious about that paper and the boy. Catching a glance of the paper I stepped more forward. "Is that my schedule?" I asked trying to grab the paper from him, but he was quicker, pulling it back before folding it. "Don't be grabby, didn't no one teach you not to snatch stuff from people? Rude." he struck it in his back pocket.

I regarded him for a second. "That doesn't belong to you." I retorted back at him, crossing my arms in front of me as Sara nudged me, giving me a curious look. I wish I had an answer to what was going on, I didn't. "Who are you?" I questioned. But instead of answering me, he turned sideways and started moving his hand telling me to get to walking. I didn't. Stranger, danger and all that. But he looked at me with confusion, "Your escort. Did you listen to what I said the first time I said it?"

I blinked at him, and he sighed so deeply his body slumped. "I hate repeating myself, sugar cup."

I narrowed my gaze at him. "Why are you escorting me? And don't call me that." I told him, steeling myself in place and ignoring him gesturing again to start walking. When he finally understood that I wouldn't move unless he explained, he sighed a little dramatically. "I was told that I needed to walk you too class. Something about some stalker you have. I don't know, I didn't ask to many questions. I was told, and here I am."

My brow's shot up. "Your Mateo's brother!" I exclaimed, finally putting the dots together. I knew he looked familiar; he has some of his facial features. Sharp jaw, high cheek bones, and dull eyes. What was it with them and their lifeless gazes. He pressed his palm into his chest. "Yep that's me. Now let's get your pretty little self to class before your late and I never hear the end of it."

Sara leaned into me. "Yeah, I have to go to my next class. Are you going to be okay?" she whispering, still glaring at the boy in front of us who looked at her like he just noticed she was there. Sara who was been my best friend since middle school and thank the rainbows for her because I would be a lost chicken without her. Her long curls brushed against my arm, making me shiver and I waved her off. "Yeah its fine. Go." I smiled at her.

She nodded, glancing at Ash one last time who only raised his brow as if saying, "What?"

With a sharp look, Sara turned and headed down the hallways to her next class. Ash sighed, grabbing my attention again. "Are we going to get going? I mean we can stand around; I really don't care that much but I rather not have detention again because I promised Lil's I would beat her ass in scooter's tonight. I lost last time, so I need to redeem myself." he rambled.

I had no idea who Lil's was, but I wasn't going to ask. Maybe it was his girlfriend, or whatever. He gestured with his hand at me to start walking. This time I did, coming up beside him. He grinned at me and started walking towards my next class.

"Is this Mateo's version of dealing with my ex?" I asked, glancing up at the boy that carried himself so high that it was kind of incredible. The way he walked, even presented himself made you question if he owned the school, or the world for that matter. Confidence of steel, even at such a young age.

Ash shrugged. "Something like that."

We turned the corner, only a few classes away from mine. "But you're just a kid." I said glancing at him again, and he huffed out in annoyance. "I'm not a kid. I'm capable of whatever protection you need. Kids don't grow armpit hair, and I can prove I'm not a kid." he explained, starting to lift his arm but before he could get far I grabbed his arm, and yanked it back down. "Yeah, thanks. I believe you." I muttered, definitely not needing to see that.

Ash regarded me for a moment, dodging a student walking right at him without even looking. Then he shrugged. "I feel like you don't believe me, but you should. Mateo wouldn't have asked me if I wasn't capable of it."

We stopped beside my classroom. "Capable of what?" I asked. For real, what was this capable of talk? I didn't need an escort; I have become a master at dodging Tony. Capable sounded like he would need to start swinging his fists and throwing kicks. I didn't need that kind of attention.

Ash shrugged, turning around and started to jog away. "Capable of anything you need!" he yelled over his shoulder. I didn't need anything, including the kind of attention I got when I walked into the classroom. The kind that told me everyone knew who Ash Ramos was and I was the only clueless one.

I dropped in my seat, feeling people looking at me, whispering among themselves. I never liked attention; I didn't have that kind of confidence boost. I could barely get through a project presentation, let alone being whispered about who walked me to class. I almost wanted to clap my hands together in a praying manner and start begging to whoever is up there listening that it was a onetime thing.

The teacher rose out of her chair and came to the front of the classroom, beginning class. AP History was not my favorite topic, but it was a class I needed to take if I wanted to get a scholarship to collage. Actually, most of my classes were AP, excluding Biology because I just straight up sucked with science. I loved the concept, but I didn't understand it, which gave me a love and hate relationship with it.

I was a senior which meant college was next year, and if I was being honest that got me nervous. It meant new people, new surroundings, and change. I was not one who got up and personal with change. When change came, it tended to make me want to hide. Thank goodness for Sara because she didn't care for collage and was only going for the parties, and to make her mother happy. And, because she didn't care to much she decided that it didn't matter what college she went too, which meant she was coming with me. Now all I had to do was get into a collage and of course figure out a way to pay for the whole thing.

Maybe I'll find a few thousand laying around on the street. Please, Easter bunny, Santa, and baby Jesus let that happen.

By the time class ended I already had all my classwork done. I got up and swung my backpack over my shoulder, phone in hand as I made my way out of the classroom.

"Lina?"

I froze, closing my eyes. Please don't be Ash. Please don't be Ash. Please don't be Ash. I turned slowly, searching for Ash but didn't find him. Instead, I found another boy or man, I'm a little lost. He was definitely older then Ash, and something about him was so stern. He held his phone high up, pointing at me. Was he taking a picture of me? "Yeah, you're her." he muttered, clicking his phone off and shoving it in his pocket.

"I'm who?" I asked, trying not to check out this extremely handsome guy. He towered over me, taller then Mateo, or Ash, much taller. Heck, he had to be in the high six-foot category. Hard amber eyes and sun-kissed brown hair that looked naturally spiked and falling on the sides.

He adjusted the collar of his lose, navy blue flannel. "You're the one I am supposed to walk to class." he replied with such boredom in his tone.

I sighed, realizing he must be another one of Mateo's bodyguards that he got for me and walked to his side. Stopping beside him, I looked up at him. "Honestly, Mateo is doing to much. It's all kind, but doesn't it seem a little stretched? His wasting his time with me, I'm fine."

The guy shrugged, jerking his head to tell me to start walking. "Mateo doesn't do thing's in half measures. His a bit of a perfectionist, and I think he might have some OCD tendency but I'm not quite positive yet. It's still being analyzed. I'm Kirsan, by the way." he said, so steadily.

He started walking, and I followed beside him. "Lina, but you already know that. And did you have a photo of me on your phone?" I asked, realizing that he wasn't taking a photo of me, but comparing me to one. He nodded as if it was completely normal. And I glanced at him beside me, "Can you pass a message onto Mateo?" I asked.

He tipped his head down at me. "I suppose if I have too."

"Tell him to stop this. I don't need someone walking me to every class." I explained, "And you, why are you even doing what he says? Honestly, you don't have to walk me to class."

He shook his head, sticking his arm out in front of me and saving me from colliding with a student who was not paying attention to where she was walking or I wasn't. "That's not how it works, dear. I do what Mateo says." he responded.

I lifted my brow, looking over at him. "Why?"

He stuck his hand's in his blue jeans. "Mateo's word is law." he answered, like it was supposed to make total sense. I couldn't keep my laugh in because that just sounded like something you would hear in one of the peaky blinder's episodes I have been binge-watching. And Kirsan slated me another look that said he didn't understand why I was laughing. I cleared my throat after a second. "Come on. Law? Kirsan, don't worry about it. You don't have to walk me to class." I tried again.

We stopped beside my class, and he looked down at me, giving me a perfect angle of his buckwheat honey filled eyes. They hooded in seriousness as his face edged out. "Your correct, and I don't worry about it. But I do have to walk you to class. I do what he says, because his word is respected. This is the way our family operates, and you dear shouldn't waste time arguing with me. It's pointless, really, because you will lose every time. I'll see you when It's my turn again." he finished, his walnut eyes full of seriousness.

And with that he spun around and marched away, leaving me even more confused than I started with. What did he mean Mateo's word was law? And why did he talk about Mateo with such high respect? It took me a second to realize that Kirsan was another one of his bothers, but this one held very little features with Mateo. The only similarity that stood out was the endless darkness in his eyes.

I walked into class just as the bell rung and the teacher was already standing, waiting for everyone to sit down. Biology here we go. I dropped into my seat and dug through my backpack for the textbook. Just as I grabbed it and started to straighten, the seat beside me was filled. I looked up, about to give them a polite smile but met with Maddox's stormy sky eyes and menacing grin. "You don't sit here." I deadpanned, not smiling.

He shrugged, pulling out his phone. "As of this very second, I do."

"Great." I sighed, leaning back into my seat and opening the textbook to where the teacher had instructed on the bored. The buzzing of my phone vibrated against my jacket, and I pulled it out quickly before setting it below my desk from the teacher's view.

It wasn't a number I had save, but I figured out quickly who it was. This is Mateo. The rest of the guys are on this chat. If you need anything let them know and someone will help.

My attention snapped up towards Maddox. "Is he serious?" I mumbled lowly so the teacher didn't get mad about talking in class. And Maddox chuckled carelessly. "You caught his interested, your totally fucked."

I shook my head. This is crazy. No. This is beyond crazy. "I don't want his attention. Tell him to stop." I shot back, shrinking in my seat as the teacher glanced over at us. Maddox was unbothered by it, simply unzipped his backpack. "I don't tell him what to do." he replied.

Fine, if he couldn't, I will. This was getting out of hand. Mateo, thank you for all the help but this is too much. I don't need an escort to every class.

I set my phone down on my desk, waiting for a response. It came a second later, except not from Mateo.

Ash the great here.

Kirsan, save my number.

Madds.

I turned to Maddox so quickly that I banged my elbow on the side of the table. I hissed at it, rubbing the aching spot as he rose his toneless stare up at me. Slanted over his desk, and scrolling through his phone, he looked like he would rather be anywhere else. "You might not want to make such sudden movement. Quite dangerous it could be." he smirked, but it sat on his face more like a untold threat.

I wrinkled my nose at the pain, and ignored his unfunny joke. "You're playing into this?" I winced, reaching over to tap his desk because he was already going back to his phone. The movement made him jerk away from my hand, and I would have questioned his sudden oddness but I was to riled up. I at least thought I would have him on my side, considering we aren't each other's biggest fans. Leaning back slowly now that my hand was back in my proximity, he replied, "I do what Mateo says."

Mateo's word is law. Kirsan's words, and they sounded very similar too Maddox's. I shook my head, ignoring all of the nonsense and saved all the number before started to type out another text explaining that this was unnecessary. Only I didn't get far.

Ash changed the group name to Lina's suicide squad.

I almost laughed but pressed my lips together to squish the feeling. The teacher was already glaring over here every few seconds from earlier and I didn't need the extra attention.

Maddox – That's lame.

Ash – No one asked you for your option, duck off.

Kirsan – Someone use a calculator real quick. Trig question, if α=300, find sin300 + cos600. Is it 1? Forgot my calculator at home and need my work doublechecked before I submit this test.

Me- Are you cheating?

Kirsan – Its only cheating if someone gives me the answer.

Maddox – yep it's 1.

Kirsan – Now I'm cheating.

Mateo – This is not a chat for your entertainment, stop fucking around.

Ash – If I have math questions can I ask it too?

Kirsan – No

Maddox – No

Mateo – No.

Me – Mateo, I appreciate the help, and all of you I guess but I'm fine without it. Go about your normal lives and don't worry about me.

I shut my phone off, and shoved it into my pocket without waiting for a reply. And then starting on the worksheet that the teacher handed out. It was kind of him to help, a lot kinder than I ever expect him to be, but I just needed to keep my head down and get through the rest of the year. I needed to get past the hurt and the betrayal that Tony left behind. I needed to get past the fact that I somehow wasn't good enough for him that he cheated. Sara keeps saying it wasn't my fault, but I keep question wither thats true because in the end Tony felt like something was missing from our relationship. And that's the only reason I could think of that he had to cheat. I didn't give him something he needed, and I just need to figure out what, because I can't go through this again.

I saw what the betrayal did to my mom, after my dad left and I can't end up like her. She continued on with her life, she pretends that everything is okay, but I know it's not. She doesn't date or try to find love in anything anymore. She's barely home and consumed herself with work. She doesn't see the world in color's but in black and white and I didn't want to live like that. I wanted happiness, and magical romance. I wanted to laugh so hard with the person I love that my stomach hurts. I wanted to be consumed with that person, and I wanted them to feel the same way back.

Tony didn't feel that, and I don't know why. I don't know where I went wrong but until I figure it out, I am going to lay low and get through the school year. I'm young my sister says, I don't understand what love means yet. But I knew what I felt. I know what love is. Maybe it wasn't the kind of love that I dreamt of, but I did love Tony and I know that my chest aches when I think about him. So yes, I might have not felt soul consuming love with Tony, but I felt love and if this love was enough to hurt me like this then I never wanted to be unprepared again. I needed to figure out what went wrong.

By the time the bell rung, I was only halfway done with the worksheet. I sighed and stuck my textbook back in my backpack before zipping it up and swinging it over my shoulder as I rose off the chair.

"Ready?"

I looked down at Maddox who was sitting on his desk, watching me with an expressionless look. No. Absolutely not. I shook my head at him. "Did you get the text? I don't need any more help." I explained, dodging around his desk, and making my way out of the door as quickly as I can. As if I could out run him, and how foolish of me. Because he jogged after me. "Yeah, sweetheart that's not how it works. You accepted his help; you can't take it back." he said, reaching me in seconds.

I slanted him my best look. "Why not?" I question, slipping past a student as Maddox dodged him too and jogged to get beside me again. I wish I could hide. "I don't want this, Maddox. I don't need the attention. I'm being stared at every time one of you drops me off at my classroom. I don't want that; I don't like to be looked at like a zoo animal. I just want to be left alone." I explained, my voice dropping a little and I could feel the tears gathering.