"Please make yourself at home. Eat anything and drink anything you want. If you want, we can order from this Mexican place down the street, and I can make Margaritas. Something me and my old roommate did before she graduated and moved in with her boyfriend," Mia offers happily.

"That would be nice," I let out a tiny laugh.

"I'll grab the menu," she grins cheerfully before dashing off to the kitchen. Her flat is nice and cosy, small compared to Jace and Louis'. Two bedrooms with tan walls, dark furniture and white duvets, and one bathroom in between. The small kitchen and dining area are slightly run-down but decorated with a wine rack and red roses on the oak table. The living room looks out towards her campus quad, with a tan sofa, wood floors, a coffee table and a television set.

I linger in the living room, my eyes looking over different photo frames. A couple of her and Jace, one with what looks like would-be her parents, and one that makes everything stand still. Mia, Jace, Louis and what has to be Elena. She has brown, wavy hair and what looks like would be green eyes and such a sweet smile. She's beautiful, like Mia, resting her head on Louis' shoulder in a white dress. It's definitely old because he has some tattoos but not merely as many as he does now. The heaviness in my chest won't go away. I found the perfect person, but he belongs to her. I'll never compare, and I doubt his guilt will let up. Maybe I'm being pessimistic because Josh has permanently gotten to me.

"Alright, my treat, pick out whatever you want," Mia comes out. I turn so fast before she catches me gazing at the photo.

"I've got money," I refuse. Mia scoffs and hands me the menu, rejecting my offer.

"My treat. I'll be right back," she turns again and heads to the bedroom. I glance once more at the photo, a long sigh escaping me. I don't think I'm getting Louis back; he'll think of her and regret being with me. I probably would if I were in his shoes. At least here, I can breathe, keeping some sort of distance so that I can preserve these emotions.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I take it out. Of course, I had been spammed by texts and calls from everyone, trying to find out why I had up and left, but I couldn't find it in me to answer any of them. This time it's Jason, agreeing not to tell anyone I'm here with her. As far as he and my parents know, I ended things with Josh and wanted some time away from campus. I've been vague, giving as little detail as possible to them.

I truly don't know what to do.

Hours later, after drinking some margarita mix and munching on some food, I learned even more about her. Her birthday is in November, next month. She loves art and actually drew a tattoo for Jace. She slapped her old boss after he had hit on her, and she is currently doing some paid internship every other weekend, making as much time as possible for Jace when free. Pretty, smart and kick butt.

Compared to me, the one that stuck around such a horrible relationship for so long. She stands up for herself and works, whereas I have struggled with defending myself and never got a job after Josh was so pissed about one simple interview. His words, if I remember right, you aren't going to have time for me anymore. I admire her, I really do. Jace found a good one.

"Alright, I'm going to go to bed, even though it's crazy early," I announce after helping with the last of the dishes.

"It is early," she scrunches her nose, checking the time on her phone.

"I know, but we barely slept last night, and the drive was pretty long," I note. She nods, moving her blonde hair up into a ponytail. "Thank you again for letting me stay here. It means a lot."

"Don't mention it. Besides, it's nice having another girl around," she smiles. I can't help but give her a small one back, loving the warmth of her presence. I turn to head for the room, only for her to stop me. "Megan." I turn back with a hum, straying at the doorway. She almost looks hesitant to speak, her eyes fluttering a little as she pauses. "Don't be too upset about this little break of his. It really was the first he even talked about her since then, and it probably messed with his head. He'll be back for you."

"I don't know. I probably wouldn't be able to move on like that if I were in his shoes," I give a small shrug, my arms crossing over my chest.

There's a saddened glaze in her eyes, and she looks away. Her fingers play with the hem of her shirt before she goes on. "She was my best friend. He introduced me to Jace, and I introduced her to him on this double date. He shut everyone out when she was gone. I mean, everyone. His mum, sisters, me, Jace. I didn't even see him for so long, not wanting to remind him of her or the other way around. When Jace told me he was even talking to you, none of us could believe it."

The tension masking through here is intense. Heavy. I still am clueless as to what to say. It just feels like such a dark, deep topic that I shouldn't have found out in the first place. The resentment Louis held for his father was clear as day, but I would never have imagined the actual reason behind it.

"Don't lose hope. He needs someone like you, and quite frankly, you probably need someone like him as well. You both have been through a lot, and you need each other to pick up the pieces," she finishes. Her voice has become so small, and her eyes have been intent on mine. These waves of emotions are trying to take over.

"Or we are both just looking for something to fill in the void," I add. Pessimistic, I know. She starts to shake her head, and I breathe in slowly. "Honestly though, what if that's all it ever was? I'm too afraid to say I love you to another person again because Josh didn't get like that until after I fell for him. I doubt Louis will ever be able to say he loves anyone but her. We weren't even officially together, but if we started...I really don't know how it would turn out. The more I think of it, the more impossible it feels, and he will probably come to the same conclusion."

"You can't just not fall in love with someone else because of one person who took advantage of your love," she whispers, a solemn look on her face.

Suddenly that wave turned into a tsunami. My heart clenches, and my eyes begin to burn. I let out an airy laugh to mask the pain before looking down. "Yeah, well, it wasn't just one person. Like Josh reminded me, my birth parents didn't love or want me. He took my love and took advantage of it. I don't think I'm finding love like that. Louis found his one true love, and I'm sorry that he lost her, but now I really don't think things would work out. She may be his one and only. I don't think I'll be able to fall for anyone like that again. We'd be a train wreck if we started anything."

"Who says you two can't try? Even if it isn't right away. Wouldn't you at least want to try?" she tries to offer.

"And risk even more pain?" I ask back. She pauses, her lips twisting a little.

"I think it's worth the shot if it ends up being the right person," she notes back.

"And this could really be the right person, wrong time kind of thing where both of us will only end up broken even more."

"You're scared, and he is too. I get it. I still think you two should take the leap and try it. I mean, you two were practically there. Just think about it," she pleads lowly. At this point, I'm too choked up to say anymore. I nod and turn towards the room, shutting myself inside. I lean back against the door and try to catch my breath to calm myself. This is too much. It almost feels like a break-up with him, on top of me running from Josh, disappearing from my friends and lying to my family. I can't catch a break.

Several days passed, and I've been invested in reading and schoolwork. Missing lectures meant having even more online work to make up for the missed time. It sucks. It's horrible. Not speaking to any of my friends is even worse. They've given up after day three. It hurts, but I don't want to risk falling back into the trap that is Josh. I'm sure they hate me. I'm the bad guy to them because I'm too pathetic and scared to tell them the truth. Josh is probably soaking in all the attention and pity he can get.

For the first time all week, I'm not doing anything school related or reading for fun unless having a textbook open on the coffee table counts. I turned the television on and couldn't help but turn it to the college football games. The guys have an away game tonight, about midpoint between here and London. It started as just something to listen to while reading, only for me to keep my eyes on the television the entire time.

It was another game where it seemed as if Josh and Louis were battling for the most goals. I'd feel repulsed whenever Josh came onto the screen with that smug grin. I hated it. Anytime Louis appeared, I couldn't tear my eyes off. I missed him already and have barely spoken to him since coming here. True to my word, I've been giving him the space he needed. Then I'd see Shane or Derek, and an overwhelming sadness took over. Losing my friends hurt more than Louis pushing me away. Although it's Louis that has been on my mind nonstop, it's seeing those two that have been around for several years now that gets me. Their game seems slightly off compared to normal, whereas Josh seems unaffected and just as competitive. I can't help but wonder if I'm at fault for them being off. Then again, they're wrapped around Josh's finger. Maybe they're just tired, and it has nothing to do with me.

Several times throughout the match, Josh makes dirty hits against Louis. He is constantly bumping into him out of nowhere, nearly tripping him, and attempting to steal the ball from between Louis' feet. When will he give up and focus on the actual game? His pride and greed disgust me. He wasn't always that way, but becoming a centre fielder made his confidence undesirable.

They win in the end, 8-4. I let out a long sigh before shutting off the television. I sink further into the couch with my head falling back. I'm happy for them. I wish I had the courage to talk to my friends again. Losing those four has made my heart ache more and more every day. Seeing Louis was a tease. He's thirty minutes away, as opposed to an hour. I wish he'd somehow show up here tonight, now that the game is over. But that won't happen. I got here the other day and only sent an update about getting here. We haven't held any conversation since. I miss him. I miss his cologne, warm embrace, and the way I had fit perfectly in his arms.

I return to the textbook, tired and bored. With my mind constantly elsewhere, I have no interest in this.

My phone lights up, and I instantly grab it. Louis' name is on the screen, and my heart tightens. I open the message immediately, hoping it's an actual conversation he is trying to pursue instead of a one-and-done message that leaves me in my thoughts.

Louis: Just won the game. Josh tried to screw me over several times and almost ended up benched at one point.

Me: I wish he was actually benched. I would have loved to have him freaking out on tape. Congrats!

I nibble on my bottom lip, waiting for the next message to come in. I'm antsy. I can't wait.

Me: I also finished my book for our project and made up a bunch of notes while on this little 'retreat'.

Louis: Bookworm.

Me: Always :) Also feels strange actually being able to text you.

Louis: I like it.

Me: Eh, I guess I do too.

Louis: You guess??

I let out a small giggle, relaxing back. I gaze at his messages, nibbling at my bottom lip. The first we talked since I left, besides updates over the phone. I want to prolong it, but it looks like he was just trying to inform me about the game, really. He's responding but with shorter sentences, and I shouldn't string it along if he's not fully into it.

Me: Goodnight, get back home safe!

My phone falls to the couch, and I let out a heavy sigh. Short-lived and bittersweet.