"What?" her face falls entirely, and her voice is so thin that it could break. I stole the light out of her eyes, and regret attacks me with full force. Her eyebrows furrow, and a frown tugs at her lips. Hannah stays silent, and the tension from this table is probably thickening throughout this room. "What? No. This is a joke. You wouldn't cheat on Josh, and you would not sleep with the guy I have been mad about," she starts, full of denial. She refuses to hear it with a shake of her head.

My heart is racing, and my head is spinning. I just admitted that. Oh my god, why would I admit that?

"Please tell me that you are not that shitty of a friend and girlfriend," she snaps, lashing out in full force. An automatic sting to my chest has made me even more nauseous.

"Ali," Hannah gasps.

"This is a joke, right?" Ali laughs sarcastically. Even with her light brown skin, redness is beginning to take over, which is clear as day.

"No," I choke out. I look down, a shaky breath escaping me. "You're right. I cheated on Josh, but trust me. I wasn't a bad friend to you, and it was before you even met him."

"What?" she whispers. I pinch the bridge of my nose and try to settle these nerves.

"It was on holiday with Hannah over the Summer. It happened, and I never thought I'd see him again, but now he's here like this world is out to get me. Hannah knew and already gave me a whole lot of crap about it. But I'm sorry, I didn't tell you because I was so freaked out afterwards, scared that Josh would find out. You keep talking about Louis, and it's been messing with my mind."

My breath is unsteady, and my hands are a trembling mess. She's just staring. Her lips part, and an unfamiliar expression is on her face. I can't read it, and I'm just hoping she won't snap. I'm praying she won't say a word to Josh.

"You...cheated...on Josh," she whispers as if in shock. That's all she's concerned about. My stomach is torn to shreds.

"I'm sorry," is all I can say. My anxiety is raking through every inch of my body.

"Well, I wish you had told me. I thought we were closer than that," she frowns.

"I know. I screwed up, and I was scared, and Hannah had already been so mad about it," I start, and Hannah nods with her lips pressed tightly together.

"Well, now I look like an idiot. I wouldn't have been obsessing over him like this if I had known," Ali remarks. Disbelief floods through me. "Wait, does Josh know?"

"No, and it's her thing to tell," Hannah answers with a hint of a warning at the end.

"I would never tell. I know I talk a lot, but I wouldn't do that. I mean, I hang out with Josh, but I probably talk to him the least out of the group," Ali exclaims with a hand on her chest, her voice raised with an offence. "Wait, how are you handling it with both of them around and talking? What if Louis says something?" she asks frantically, her voice hushed. I let out a shaky breath, seeing the genuine concern in those chocolate eyes. I almost want to blurt out to them that I've been with Louis again, just to get it off my chest. All of this pressure has been weighing down on me heavily. I look away and fight back the urge to do so.

"Uh, Louis and I already talked about it. He won't say anything," I state in a small voice. Hannah gives me an odd look, clearly wanting to know when I had the time to talk in private with him, but I don't explain myself. "It was a drunken mistake," I add quietly, hoping it will prevent too much questioning. Although I was far from drunk that night and not an ounce of alcohol was in me last night.

"I would never have guessed, and you never even look his way when he's around. Well, now that makes sense. Why would you if Josh is around? I just assumed you didn't care about his presence," she notes.

"Well, it was a one-time thing. Won't happen again, hopefully," Hannah mumbles, being the responsible one of us three. I look away before my face can throw me under the bus.

"I'll stop talking about him. I didn't know what had happened, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," Ali clears her throat. She suddenly reaches across the table, her hand touching my arm. I look her in the eyes, and she smiles weakly. "You know you can always tell me anything. Me and Hannah both," she whispers. Just like that, it's as if the world is ripped from beneath my feet. Both of them are looking at me with affirmation. I want to tell them everything about how Josh treats me and what happened with Louis last night. I die a little more on the inside, feeling even more lost and helpless. It isn't fair. How did my life end up like this?

Any topic about Louis and Josh is left behind for the rest of the night. It's all about Hannah and Ben, plans for the weekend, and Ali bashing Shane for being a wise-ass yesterday. The mood lifts a little, but it's a nonstop weight on my shoulders that I can't shake off. I have two friends I know will listen, yet I fear they may be wrapped around Josh's finger just enough not to believe a word I say. I'm positive that Shane and Derek would side with him. He's their best friend, after all. It would all just be some misunderstanding, in their eyes. It's enough to either take me out of the friend group or wreck the whole group entirely. Why can't I just think for myself?

I lie to them about heading to the library for the project I'm working on. They don't question it and have no intentions of going to the library, splitting off to head to their rooms.

I find myself at Louis' flat, my nerves attacking fiercely at my insides until he opens the door. His eyebrows shoot up as his blue eyes fall on me. "Is everything alright?" he asks in a near whisper, and I realise that Jace is on the couch.

"Can we talk?" I plead quietly, my voice thin. He gives me a wary look before surprisingly opening the door wider to let me in. I didn't think he'd let me in with Jace around. He beckons me in, and Finn immediately greets me with a wagging tail. I smile weakly at the dog, petting him softly.

"Come on," Louis murmurs, taking my arm. My heart jumps a little in my chest as he pulls me off to his room. Jace offers a little smile, but the shock is evident in his expression. I didn't expect Louis to bring me to his room before him; clearly, Jace didn't expect it either. "What's wrong?" Louis asks when he shuts the two of us into his room. Finn is heard outside the door, whining because our interaction has been cut short.

"Ali knows," I whisper. His face immediately falls, and these nerves are eating at me. "Not about last night or what's going on between us currently, but she knows about the first time we were together. I slipped up and told her, but she and Hannah only know about the beach. She's not going to tell Josh, and she told me I could tell her anything."

"Then why do you look so upset? She said she wouldn't say a word, and she thinks it was a one-time thing," he tries to reason, his eyebrows scrunching together.

"Because you're the only person that knows about Josh. She said I could tell her and Hannah anything, and it broke me into pieces," I whisper, my voice now fragile. The familiar ache of tears in my eyes begins to return, and I look down. "It's hard not being able to tell them about Josh. It's easy talking to you about it. I don't think they would get it. I'm terrified they will side with him. He has everyone wrapped around his finger, from my friends to my family, and I can't do it anymore. I need out of this relationship."

"They're your friends and your family. Why wouldn't they listen to you?" he tries to ask. I still can't look up. His fingers find the bottom of my chin, tilting it up so I can finally look him in the eyes. All of this pressure that has been building in my chest makes my eyes water. "You're not going to leave him," he realises, a frown tugging at his lips.

"No," I admit before choking on these tears. I pull away, and my hands cover my face. My lungs falter with despair. "I'm stuck, and I know I will not get out of it. I'll probably be with him for the rest of my life at this rate. I can just feel myself separating from the others. I hate being around them now because I'm lying to them nonstop. I've avoided my brother like the plague out of fear that he will find out. I feel so distant and alone. You are the first person I can actually talk to, and it's like a breath of fresh air, but it's not going to last. Just being with them tonight gave me such anxiety and made me so upset. One day, I probably won't even be able to talk to them anymore, and it will just be him that I'm around."

"Megan," he interrupts. My eyes flicker back to his, these emotions weakening me to my core. "That's not going to happen. You've got to leave him."

"I can't," my voice airs out. He takes my cheeks, and his lips come in contact with mine, taking my breath away instantly. Time stands still, and his lips leave. I take in a deep breath and swallow.

"I hate seeing what he has done to you," he whispers lowly, kissing my jawline. My eyes flutter shut with this constant pain thrashing about in my chest. "You should not have to go through this," his words bring my aching heart to my stomach. I can't help it. I grab his shirt and bring his lips back to mine. A slow, passion-filled kiss that wreaks of need. One hand stays on my cheek, and his other hand slips to my lower back, keeping my body close to his. His cologne is heavenly, and his lips mould perfectly with mine.

There's a sudden knock on his bedroom door, and it puts an end to the kiss. He groans and slips away from me, my heart sinking, and I don't want to stop. He opens the door and grumbles, "what?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Jace looks warily between the two of us before clearing his throat. "Mark is here," he murmurs lowly. I watch Louis' muscles tense immediately, and Jace purses his lips together. Louis curses under his breath and makes his way out of the room without even looking back at me, shutting the door hard. My eyebrows raise, and I wipe my cheeks dry.

"What do you want?" I can hear Louis ask from the other side, that voice filled with anger that I'm not used to. He wasn't kidding when he said he hated his father. My arms cross over my chest, and I nibble on my bottom lip. I came over at a bad time. I can't determine what his father says because Finn starts to rattle the door with a whine.

"Finn, go lay down," Jace snaps, but the dog doesn't stop.

Suddenly the door swings open, and my skin becomes ice cold as the man from the conference looks me dead in the eyes. His eyes are blue, just like Louis', his greying-black hair is styled up, and he has on a light blue button-down shirt dressed for business. Finn rushes to my side with a wag of his tail, but I am stuck in place.

"And who might you be?" he asks, his tone sharp as he raises his eyebrows. Louis' jaw is clenched, but he stays silent. "Well, come on, love. This is my flat you're in. Tell me your name," he demands, his tone cold like he is pissed.

"Uh," I let out an anxious laugh and clear my throat. I shouldn't have come over. "Megan," I reply weakly, glancing once more at Louis.

"You're dating again?" he looks to Louis. His eyes are darker, filled with some sort of fury after being asked that. The tension in this room is thick. Heavy. I really shouldn't be here.

"No, we're just friends. I was just coming over to rant to him about something. This was a really bad time. I should go," I squeak out nervously.

"I was just about to take Finn out. I'll walk you out," Jace clears his throat with a wary look at Louis. I nod, and neither Mark nor Louis say a word. I slip past them and make my way towards the front door, Jace following behind and putting Finn on the leash. We make our way out, neither Mark nor Louis saying a single thing until we are out of the flat. After Mark's arrival, the lift is already on this floor, giving us a quick out. The doors shut, and I swallow. "I'm sorry you had to see that," Jace starts. I simply shrug, gazing ahead with my arms crossed. "Things get pretty tense between those two. I usually try to leave whenever he comes around as well."

"Why? What got them to that point? I mean, I know about his father cheating and forcing him to be here in London, but what honestly made it that bad?" I can't help but ask, looking at him. He lets out a breathy laugh and shakes his head with a weak smile.

"Not my thing to tell," he murmurs. That only disappoints me, and I look away with a frown. "Are you two seeing each other?" he changes the topic.

"What?"

"I mean, you told me no on Sunday, only for me to find you two in the living room that day, and then you were sneaking out of here this morning," he reminds me. My stomach twists, and I refuse to look him in the eyes. I stay silent, with it nagging at my insides. "You don't have to tell me," he lets out a hint of a laugh just as the doors open to the bottom floor. I make my way out, my arms staying crossed over my chest. A doorman lets us out, and Finn happily jots beside me. "I do want to add," he starts, and I have to stop to turn around. His brown eyes meet mine, and I hug my arms tighter to myself. "I already told you this the other day. He hasn't been with anyone in a long time. Whatever you two are to each other, I'm glad he found someone, at least. There's got to be something that he sees in you."

I'm caught in a stare, gazing back at him with my stomach twisting. Emotionally and physically, I've needed someone like Louis, but I couldn't imagine him needing someone like me as his friend is letting on. My lashes flutter a little, and I give him a weak smile. "Goodnight, Jace," I bid him a quiet goodbye. I give Finn one last pet before turning away and walking back towards campus with my head down.

I wish his father never showed up.