I slowly unlock the door to my dorm room with full intentions of sneaking in and slipping out. I'm quiet, careful not to wake up Hannah. I shut the door with the knob twisted to keep it silent. In and out so I can get my things and leave. I turn around, and a figure standing right before me makes me gasp.

"Where the hell were you?" Josh growls. I am frozen, stuck in place. He's angry. Pissed. "Are you going to answer me?" he comes near. I can't even breathe. Those brown eyes are so dark. So menacing. His hand is suddenly on my throat, and I shoot up with a gasp.

My heart races as Finn is before me, removing his paw from my body. My hand touches my throat, trying to comprehend how real the touch had felt. My skin feels clammy, and my heart is spastic in my chest.

"Finn, get down," Jace hisses. Finn removes his front paws from the couch, and I gulp. "I'm so sorry about that. I don't know what's with him. He usually doesn't bother anyone like that," Jace defends quickly.

"It's okay," I breathe out, combing my fingers through my hair to rid it of any knots. Daylight is pouring through the windows, although the dark clouds are the first thing I notice. There's a delicious scent of coffee and some sort of breakfast food drifting throughout the flat. I reach into my bag to take out my phone, powering it on. My phone has been flooded with calls and texts from Josh from last night and this morning. It's 9 in the morning, and he has been messaging me nonstop since 7. I hesitate before switching my phone back off.

"Want any coffee?" Jace takes my attention off my phone. I slip it back into my bag to see him holding up a pot of coffee. I nod with a weak smile and shed the blanket. "That sounds great," I answer in a small voice. Looking back outside, I can only think about how Josh will react when he gets to the coffee shop and doesn't find me there. He pours some into a blue mug before setting it down on the island. I thank him softly and go to grab the cream on the counter.

"Please tell me he offered you a bed and not the couch," he notes, seemingly irked.

"I told him I'd take the couch, and it's the least I can do. He never had to say yes to letting me stay the night," I simply shrug. He hands me a spoon, and I thank him. I stir the cream in, watching as the coffee lightens in colour.

"I was convinced that he was starting to see someone again. So sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable last night asking you that," he mutters lowly. I cradle the mug in my hands and lift it to my lips to take a sip.

"So he isn't with anyone?" I question lowly. After last night's shadow of a doubt, I couldn't help but wonder despite him saying no.

"Uh, no," he stalls slightly. "Not for a while," he adds, keeping it short and to the point. He doesn't explain anything else. "I figured you already knew that being...friends...and all," he adds, stammering out the word friends like he can't process it. I barely shake my head and sit on a stool next to the island. "How close are you two exactly?" he questions, his voice thrown off.

I let out a small, breathy laugh while shaking my head. How do I explain it? He knows far more about me than I do about him. That closed-off book that I haven't had the chance to unravel. "How did you two become friends?" I ask quietly, switching it onto him.

"Our mums were close before we were born, and we knew each other pretty much our entire lives," he answers. I hum with a nod, sipping at the hot drink. I gaze down at my coffee, nibbling on my bottom lip. They sound a lot like my relationship with Hannah. Except I didn't meet her until taken in by Tom and Isabella. "So what happened at your dorm?" he changes the subject again.

I pluck a little at my shirt, trying to think of something valid without waiting too long to answer. I bring the mug closer and breathe in slowly. "Some sort of leak or water damage from last week that the uni wants to fix," I answer timidly. The storm last week was awful. That downpour that kept me here in this flat, to begin with, could easily be an excuse. "Hannah ended up staying with some guy she started seeing a couple of weeks ago, and I ended up here."

"With Louis," he starts, his tone almost suggesting more to the situation. I let out a nervous laugh and sip at my coffee.

"To be fair, the guys in our group live in this crowded, tiny flat, and my friend Ali has a roommate with a lot of crap scattered all over. I wouldn't even be able to sleep on the floor in that room if I tried, and I really don't want to sleep on the floor at their flat," I state awkwardly. "I'm sorry if this is any sort of inconvenience."

"No, not at all. It's nice having someone else around. Not too often do we have anyone over besides Mia. But she barely comes over," he starts. I look at him with my eyebrows furrowed. "My girlfriend," he adds.

"How long have you two been together?" I ask, puckering my bottom lip.

"Four years," he grins. It's a proud smile with a beam in those warm, brown eyes. It almost feels like another slap in the face. I don't get the luxury of having someone that actually wants me. No, I have someone that thrives off power and control. I can't help but be jealous.

"That's a long time," I note softly.

"Yeah, but she makes every day worth it," he adds, which truly is crushing. I am jealous of a girl that I've never even met. Here I am, in this person's flat, running from my own relationship. It's pathetic. I wonder how it must feel to be in love like that? To be cared for like that? "Are you with anyone?" he goes to ask, and these nerves attack me in full force.

"Hey," Louis distracts us at the perfect time, his voice tired and groggy. My eyes shift to him, and my throat instantly goes dry. Even early in the morning, he looks so good, with his hair slightly messy. He even has his shirt off, and I am trying so desperately hard not to take in his beautiful body right in front of the two of them. My god, why is he doing this to me? "What are you two talking about?"

"Just found out about his girlfriend, Mia," I shrug. My eyes stay on my coffee, not daring to look at the hard body I want to put my hands and lips all over. I can't blame Ali at all for being such a massive flirt. "Would you guys mind if I shower?" I ask timidly, not wanting Jace to ask about my relationship status again. I, too, am in a long-term relationship, but an unhappy one compared to his, which is why I'm here.

"By all means. I'm about to leave soon anyways," Jace mumbles.

"There are towels in the closet, inside the bathroom," Louis adds. I thank them and set down my mug, getting off the stool. I grab my bag and head into the bathroom with a deep breath.

He needs to put a shirt on for my own sanity.

I take a longer shower than expected, marvelling at how nice and spacious this glass shower is while also thinking of last night. The warm water feels nice on my skin, washing away the last bit of Josh's touch. I also love the scent of the body wash, smelling so much like Louis himself. I can almost imagine him wrapped around me with this scent. Rubbing the soap all over my body and smelling him feels so serene. My mind only wanders even more with thoughts of him just a bit ago- the art that covered his masculine arms, his hard chest and that v-line that disappeared into his sweatpants. He really could end me.

When I'm done, I clip my damp hair back with some pieces still out to frame my face. I change into a black tank with thick straps and some leggings before cleaning up my mess. If only I had paid attention to what I was packing. I take my phone out of my bag, scowling at all the new calls and texts from Josh. I'm not answering, but I do open the messages. All of them are from him, freaking out about my whereabouts. By the looks of it, he stopped at my dorm because I never answered. He isn't happy. Maybe I'll regret this.

I slowly make my way out with my bag, feeling sick to my stomach as I look at each threatening message. There isn't an ounce of worry in any message. It's all threats. This isn't love. This isn't love at all. Running here for a night or two won't solve a thing.

"Everything alright?" Louis takes my attention away. My head snaps up to find him now before me, that shirt of his still off his chest. My eyes are on his chest for a moment too long before I meet his eyes.

"He knows I'm not in my dorm," I show him my phone and look towards the kitchen. Jace isn't in sight, and I can't help but glance around to be sure.

"He left," Louis notes lowly. My stomach is in knots as my eyes lock back with his. "I have no idea when he'll be back," he adds, his eyes briefly on my lips and then trailing over my body slowly. I'm short of breath. The way he's looking at me already makes me weak. My heart flutters in my chest, and I move around him. I bring my bag back to the couch and drop my phone inside.

"Well, maybe I'll just read then," I offer, spinning to face him. His eyes are hot on me, and the tension is thickening in the air. I want so badly for him to tell me no. "Since you don't know when he'll be back," I add, my tone more suggestive than I intended. Those eyes turn dark so fast, his eyes skimming down my body. I swear I can feel his gaze tracing over my skin. I've been having wild thoughts about him as is, and how he's looking at me has me weak in the knees. I didn't mean to sound like I was hinting at doing something if it weren't for Jace possibly coming back. The way he's looking at me makes me feel so raw and vulnerable. I'm craving his touch, his hands feeling over every inch of my body and his lips all over me.

"I need a cold shower," he breathes out lowly, and I'm no longer breathing. He turns away with a small shake of his head, heading to the loo. Oh. I get one last look of his formed back, gulping. He shuts himself inside, and I'm frozen for a moment.

I take a seat and take my book out, curling my legs up onto the couch. I feel safe being alone, sitting on this couch. I glance towards the city line out the window and can't help but smile. My first time here, I imagined myself doing this on this couch with that breathtaking view. It's not the best circumstances, but I'm glad to be here. The shower turns on, and I snuggle deeper into the cushions, opening up to my book.

I get lost in my book, my finger resting on my bottom lip as I read. The door to the bathroom opens, distracting me. I look up, and the whole world stops moving as he walks out in nothing but a white towel. It's clad to hips, low and showing off that v-line that I want to trail my fingers down. His damp hair is pushed back, and his firm, tattooed arms glisten. Already heat is taking over me, and I look away so fast as his eyes shift towards me. My eyes stay on my book, my heart moving a mile a minute. His bedroom door shuts, and I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding. Deep breaths in and out; that's all I keep telling myself. Push that sight out of my mind.

Focus on this damn book.

"That's not for our project, is it?" Louis asks, out of nowhere, after a little more time alone. He sits to my right, wearing dark grey sweatpants and a white tee, which may be better for my sanity.

"Uh, no, just one of the many books I read to pass the time," I note, patting the paperback cover. "Helps me escape life and imagine something greater," I state honestly, feeling open and raw all over again. "I have that book in here if you want to get started on our stuff."

"I don't have any interest in reading that crap right now," he admits honestly, and I can't help but giggle.

"I don't blame you," I scrunch my nose a little. I open my book back up and return to my page. He grabs the remote from the coffee table and switches on the television. I like it better when he switches on that fire and dims the lights. The front door opens, and I stay silent, focusing on the book. I just nibble on my bottom lip, wishing we were alone. He reaches down to grab his phone from the coffee table, and my eyes linger on that masculine hand with prominent veins. His hand alone is a turn-on. I need to stop. I sound like Ali now.

I look at him, and his face is flat, deprived of emotion, with his grey-blue eyes locked on the television. It's as if Jace's presence set off some switch, and his barricades have come up. Such a stoic look on his features. I almost want to laugh at his change in demeanour. Jace grabs his phone and makes his way to his bedroom. I wish it were the front door he was leaving out of instead. "Why the change in attitude when he walked in?" I poke fun when we are alone, keeping my voice down so Jace won't hear. He looks at me with confusion laced in his features. "You, like, tense up. You're all smiles one moment and then hiding any trace of a smile the moment he's around. Last night too."

"As I said, I don't want him thinking anything is going on between us," he reiterates, his tone dull as he looks back towards the television.

"Well, I have my reason to keep it from my friends. What's yours?" I ask lowly, setting my book down on the arm of the couch. He lets out an audible breath and faintly shakes his head. My arms cross tightly over my chest as I watch him close.

"I told you last night that it's complicated," he mutters miserably.

"Much like your history with your father," I note, my eyebrow raised.

"Megan," he sighs, his eyes shutting with frustration.

"Alright, I'll drop it," I mumble reluctantly with a slight shake of my head. He stays silent, now looking towards the window with his jaw tight. Even his muscles are tense. "Is there anything I can know? I mean, I pretty much laid the worst parts of my life out on the table for you, and I know slim to nothing about you."

"Didn't you want to read?" he dodges my question entirely. It's as if a dagger has been taken to my stomach, and my mouth dries.

Why the hell is he so different when his friend is here?

I'm tired of reading. I tried to put off the fact that Louis didn't want to talk by investing myself in the novel. It's impossible to read when I can't stop thinking about him. It's been hours. It's darker outside, raining heavily with low rumbles of thunder. I'm distracted as he gets up and makes his way to the bedrooms, my eyes lingering on those inked arms. Stop it before you let your mind wander.

I take my phone out of my bag, unable to resist checking my phone once more. Even more messages and calls from Josh make my stomach sink. When will he give up? I nibble on my bottom lip, these nerves plucking at my insides. If I wasn't in trouble before, I most definitely am now. Why do I have to worry about being scolded like a child frequently in this relationship? Why is it even called a relationship at this point?

My eyes are still on my phone, this nausea slowly creeping in. What am I going to do tomorrow? Run and hide after lectures? Run and hide all week? "Everything alright?" Louis asks, returning. I hum lamely, dropping my cell phone into my bag as well. Wrong. I'm dead—a dead-man walking.

I must not think about Josh or what may happen this coming week.

"What did you think about the invitation to Blackwood Forest?" I ask, curling my legs onto the couch and twisting to face him a little. I need a distraction from Josh, and I will pry a conversation out of Louis if I have to.

"I doubt I'll go," he stalls a little, scratching his stubbled cheek.

"It's usually pretty fun. My favourite part is the hot tub, despite it being so cold out that time of year," I note with a tiny smile. His eyes lower onto me, and I play with the ends of my hair. "It's fun and relaxing, usually, but I feel off about it this year. Maybe it's just the thought of having to share a bed with him for a week, with things worsening between us. He won't let me drink anyways and likes to be the centre of attention each year on these trips."

"Doesn't sound like it will interest me at all," he mutters, sitting back down beside me with a heavy sigh.

"No, maybe not. It definitely won't be as fun as that one night on the beach trip," I note, my voice so soft that Jace can't hear. Those eyes are darkening, right before my eyes, pooling with desire. I nibble on my bottom lip and look away. "God, that party was so fun, being able to drink and have fun without being shot down immediately. That was the best part," I tease quietly.

"Fuck off," he lets out a small chuckle, readjusting himself a little.

My head falls back onto the cushion behind me, and I gaze up at him with a tiny smile. Only his eyes lock back onto mine, and he is so close. I want to cave in and finish what we had started the other night. Those pink lips are enticing, and I want to feel his stubble tickling at my neck as he finds my sweet spot. I desperately want him to close the space between us, especially with this thickening energy.

Jace is here. Stop.

"I only wanted to talk that night. You kissed me first, by the water, then took me back to your place," I note with a tiny giggle. He takes another glance towards the bedrooms, wary of Jace overhearing.

"Trust me. I didn't expect to do that either. It just happened," his voice becomes raspier. "I wasn't lying when I said I haven't stopped thinking about it," he whispers. My lungs falter, and my cheeks are already burning.

"Too bad Jace is here," I add lowly, my eyes locked with his. Even he barely looks like he is breathing. I can't stop aching for all of him. His lips part a little, drawing me in. I fight the temptation, trying to ignore this need for him down below. I look away, these nerves flourishing throughout my body.

"Don't do this to me," he breathes out, so enticingly slow that a chill runs down my spine. He's turned on. He wants more. He wants me. I want just one touch, at least. Either his warm, heart-fluttering lips or that gentle, desire-filled touch over my skin. Something. Anything.

With him, it's different. Nick was my first. The boyfriend that I lost my virginity to right before we ended the relationship. It didn't last long, just a mere three months or so together. However, I was helplessly attracted to the idea of being in a relationship more than being with him.

Josh was my first and the only one I had fallen for, and hard at that. At one point, I did feel so euphoric being with him. The football team star, playing centre early on, and the one that I had found so attractive and funny. How quickly those feelings of love became feelings of betrayal and hate instead. I almost feel foolish for falling for his charm, and now I'm too afraid to leave.

Now there's Louis. He isn't and may never be mine. The first time I took a risk and hooked up with someone I barely knew. The only one of the three that has made me so weak, so quickly. The only one that it's hard not to think about nonstop. He may never be mine, but my god, he makes it so easy to escape this miserable life of mine. Even if just for a little while. I can't lie. I want him. Far too many girls that walk by want him—the most attractive of the three I've done anything with. The first person I've felt so safe around in so long, and yet it scares me. It scares me because I am reacting in such ways around this person I still barely know. It scares me that this feels like the first sort of safe haven in a long time. It scares me that my life will forever be miserable, and this is just temporary.