Jung Hoseok

I unzip my three huge suitcases. Is it really not too much?

He must think I'm a weirdo for taking so many things. But I will live here from now on.

Isn't it good to bring as many things so I don't have to buy them?

I sort out my thighs to the wardrobes. Shirts, t-shirt, tops, jeans, sweatpants, shorts, jackets, hoodies, Blazer.

Spring, summer, autumn, winter boots. I have a whole collection of things. I like fashion.

Then I style all my cream and face masks in the bathroom next to the bedroom.

Wait. If he sees my creams and make-up here , he will think I'm a girl again.

I at least hide it in the cabinets so it's not visible on the first look.

I've had this issues for a while now. It's nothing new for me.

People call me a girl on daily base because of how I look I'm shorter than my male friends which makes people call me cute.

You know, when a woman calls you cute, I could take it as a compliment.

Especially when I know they don't have any feeling towards me.

When a man, mostly straight man, tells me I'm cute, I feel embarrassed. In man language it means being weak.

They don't call me hot or handsome, they call me cute and pretty. Weak.

It's so unfair.

My dad says a beautiful man should be more appropriated than a handsome man and I should not take it offensively.

But how can it not bother me listening to it every day?

Well, it got a bit better when I explored my sexuality more. When I realized I'm gay, I didn't mind being a little feminine.

I soon realize I will not be a top either and... Sometimes it made me happy when a top called me cute as a compliment, it was the only exception.

Is Taehyung even into men? He looked shocked to discover I'm not a woman.

I hope he is otherwise that will be a very long sad life.

-

That day we barely talk. I feel embarrassed to say anything to him.

I don't even get hungry and he doesn't call me for food. Maybe he doesn't care.

I just sneak into the kitchen later at night, gulp down some food and then go straight to bed.

I sleep like a baby that night.