Y/N's POV.

I opened my condo door, the sad smile still flashed on my face.

Naghubad ako ng sapatos bago ibato sa sofa ang susi, wallet, at cellphone ko. Dumiretso ako sa kusina at kumuha ng alak sa mini bar.

As much as I don't want to drink, I need this. Badly.

I took multiple shots at naisipan kong sa balcony magistay. I got up and went to the balcony, sumunod pa ang aso ko.

"Hey, bud." Bati ko kay Rocky.

I took a shot at tumitig sa city lights. Nasa mataas na floor ang condo unit ko, kaya kitang kita ang mga ilaw ng siyudad.

City lights are beautiful, you can see how the city revolves and never sleeps.

Yet, nature is also a great view. Living in the province means peaceful.

I love both. I love my life here in the city, yet I also love provinces as my calm medicine.

Hindi ko na pinansin ang oras, instead I busied myself thinking about life. And how I made choices, the beauty and ugliness of my life.

I was shocked when I saw the sun setting. Wow, time flies? I checked my watch only to see it's 4:58 in the morning. 2 and a half na bote narin ata ang nainom ko, pero dahil sa dami ng iniisip ko hindi manlang ako nalasing.

Pumasok ako sa loob at naabutan ko namang kararating lang ni Tricia. I have mixed emotions, I do not know what to feel. I feel glad that she's safe but I also am sad for some reason.

"You drank?" She sounded a little bit mad, but still in a gentle voice.

Marahan akong tumango at pumunta sa kusina para ilagay ang mga walang laman na bote sa counter.

I washed my face and headed to my room, naligo ako at nagbihis para pumasok sa trabaho.

Lumabas ako at naabutan kong nakaupo sya sa sofa. Kinuha ko ang wallet, keys, at cellphone na katabi nya.

Lumapit ako sa isang organizer at nagpabango, I buttoned the last button on my white longsleeves polo matched with gray slacks and gray blazers. I tied my tie efforlessly while getting my shoes from the rack.

"Aalis kana?" Tanong saakin ni Tricia, I don't know how she's acting like nothing happened. "I just arrived and now you're going to leave me here?"

I looked at her with brows furrowed. "Is it my fault that I need to go to work? It's now my fault that you came home na umaga na?" I coldly replied.

I blurted out a sigh, ayokong magalit. I trust her with all my life, palilipasin ko lang ang galit ko.

As I was about to leave the unit, she held my arms and pulled me a little closer.

"What's wrong?" She gently asked me, making my anger melt.

My eyes became wattery.

"I need to go, please." Ayoko muna syang kausapin, I need to compose myself. Baka kung ano pa ang masabi ko. "Please, let me go."

I left the unit and composed myself, ayokong may tutulong luha sa mata ko.

Dumaan ako ng starbucks para bumili ng kape, magtatatlong araw na akong halos walang tulog. Uminom pa ako kagabi, I need power coffee.

"Y/N! Are you cheating on me?"

Napalingon ako sa pamilyar na boses.

"Ulol mo, Kit." Sagot ko bago umorder ng kape.

"You're cheating on my coffee! Ayaw mo naba sa gawa kong kape?" Madramang reklamo nya.

"Tanga, ano bababyahe pa ako ng 3 hours para magkape?" Irap ko, umagang umaga pinapakulo nya dugo ko ha.

"Hmm, may point." Sabi nya sa sarili. Parang bata naman to.

"Aalis na ako." Paalam ko sakanya bago lumabas.

I drove to my company.

"Goodmorning, Sir!" Bati ni kuya guard.

"Magandang umaga, Sir!" Bati ko rin.

"Ano po ba kayo Sir, kayo ho ang CEO, hindi ho ako." Tawa ni kuya Edward.

Nakitawa nalang ako. Sir naman talaga ang tawag ko sa lahat ng guard dito.

"Sched?" I asked my secretary while setting my stuff on my table.

"Appointment of meeting at 9:30 here at your office and approval of tagaytay resort." She replied, not looking at me.

Tumango lamang ako. I am getting ready for the meeting, it's already 9:18.

"Nandito nadaw po siya, Sir."

Tumango ako. A man entered my office, nauurat agad ako.

I took my glasses of and placed it on my table.

"What are you doing here?" I coldly asked him.

"I am here to discuss something about Adrius." Martin started.

My brows furrowed, "Ano namang kinalaman ko sa anak mo?"

I am feeling kind of weird right now, my eyesight is getting blurry and spinning. I feel something on my head, I have a headache, but I did not mind it.

"Adrius is having suicudal thoughts,"

"So? I'm not a psychiatrist."

"Y/N this is a serious matter, he attempted suicide last week, and it's because of you.."

Napatingin ako sakanya, Bakit ako?

"He got depressed because you and Doctora Tricia is in a relationship. You know how your little brother love Tricia right?" Pagpapawa niya, not working tho.

"Oh?" I signaled for him to continue.

"I'm begging you, let Adrius have Tricia. He needs her, and you, you're okay. Masaya kana sa buhay, you're an architect-engineer, you don't need a woman in your life."

"Who are you to decide if I'm happy? Who are you ti make decisions for my life?" I replied with a shaky but cold voice.

"Adrius really needs her, sige na Y/N. Ipaubaya mo na si Tricia, there's alot more bitches out there." Sagot nya naman, medyo tumataas na ang boses.

"No, siya nalang ang meron ako."

"Anong siya? Nandito ako, kami. Para naman sa ikasasaya ng kapatid mo ito."

"No." Matigas kong sagot at muling isinuot ang salamin ko.

"Y/N, he is going to attempt killing himself! Kapag sya ay namatay, ikaw ang sisisihin ko." And he started making me guilty.

"Still no."

"Ganyan ka na talaga, wala kang pinagbago, makasarili ka parin. Sarili mo lamang ang iniisip mo."

"Sarili ko lang?" Nanginig ang boses ko. "Anong sarili ko lang? When did I ever prioritize myself? Tricia is the only one I have, wala nang iba. When mom died, hindi ba't wala ka sa tabi ko? Ni hinayaan nga kita kila Adrius dahil ayokong matulad sya saakin, gusto ko lumaki syang may tatay. Kahit ganoon ang trato nyo saamin nila mommy, nirerespeto ko kayo, noon. Pilit kong iniintindi na may kapatid ako sa labas, na may kahati ako ng atensyon mo. Pero bakit hindi mo naman hinati? Binigay mo sakanya lahat lahat, lahat ng bagay na hindi mo maibigay saakin.

Pero okay lang iyon, inintindi ko, pilit kong iniintindi na mas kailangan ka nya kaysa saakin, dahil mas nakababata sya saakin. I did well in everthing, excelled in everything, I craved academic validation from you, dahil akala ko doon ka magiging proud saakin. I made millions of sacrifices for you and your family, isn't that enough? Narealize ko na worthy ako at deserve ko na bigyan ng pagmamahal. And only Tricia gave me that kind of love, she filled the void inside me, she is the reason why I can smile on a daily basis. Siya lang ang nakakapagbigay ng pagmamahal na hinahangad ko simula noong bata pa ako, pati ba naman iyon ipagkakait mo?"

Iniwan ko sya sa office ko at lumabas na para dalhin ang papeles sa engineering department.

Ngunit habang naglalakad naramdaman ko ang pagikot ng paningin ko.

"Y/N, you okay?" I heard a familiar voice.

"Kit. Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong ko.

"Bibisitahin lang sana kita, man, you look trashed!" Pansin nya. "Anlala ng eyebags mo, natutulog kaba?"

Kinapa nya ang noo ko, napakunot naman ako.

"Gago, nilalagnat ka Y/N!"

"Okay lang ako." It was a lie, ofcourse, para na nga akong mamamatay sa sama ng pakiramdam ko.

"Halika na, iuuwi kita." Anyaya nya at pumayag nalang ako. Ipinasa nya sa isang trabahador ko ang mga papel na dapat ay ihahatid ko sa engineering department.

She drove me to my condo and told me to sleep.

Pagkahiga ko ay naramdaman ko kaagad ang lamig ng comforter at mga unan ko. Dahil wala na akong tulog ng ilang araw, madali akong nakatulog.

PAGkagising ko ay may nakita akong note sa night table.

'Hey, chill yo ass, man. You're 42.4 sa temp. May imemeet lang akong someone and I'd be right back, pupunta tayo sa hospital. There's food on the counter.

-Kit. '

Napangiti naman ako, mahal na mahal naman ako ng kaibigan ko. I tried to stand up but I was too weak. There was a glass of water on the side table, and I decided to drink it muna.

I got my phone and texted Tricia.

To Tricia:

Hey, where are you?

And after a few seconds, my phone beeped.

From Tricia:

She's busy, taking care of me. -Adrius

And he sent a picture of Tricia on his room, serving her food.

My eyes turned bloodshot. The glass of water I was holding shattered because of how I held it. Glass particles went like daggers on my feet and knees and also my whole hand.

Blood went visible eventually. Hindi naman ako makatayo. And because of tiredness, nawalan ako ng malay.

__________________________________________________

:)

ngl, kinda cried writing this chapter.