《Zindagi Ka Safar ( The Journey Of Life)》Chapter 31: Feelings
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First time in my life, I was having a great sleep.
Peaceful.
Relaxing.
I turned around to my right side while sleeping but couldn't move fully.
Wh..at...
Why cant I move fully.
I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was hair.
Brownish black
Silky smooth hair.
I frowned.
I tried to adjust of my position and finally realization dawn into me.
I was sleeping on my back and soha was on top of me hugging.
Her head was on my right shoulder and her hand was around my waist.
I was usual now. She always sleeps like this. When she comes to bed for sleeping, she lay on the edge of bed, as if I am some kind of monster.
And I always wakes up to such position. I guess this is the only reason I couldn't fall sleep the whole nights. Not that I don't like this but I hate to admit but she really attracts me.
Her this posture is usual but what made me shock was my reaction of body.
Actually it's my hand who was holding her tightly. My right hand was under her head, which was holding her by her waistline. And my other hand was holding her hand which was on my chest.
In short our bodies were intermingled in each other, just like a puzzle being fixed in its place.
My eyes followed the path of her hairs which were scattered over my chest, some on her shoulders, some on her face.
She looked so innocent while sleeping.
I don't know what's happening to me but I couldn't resist the thought of her leaving me now.
Yesterday when she said that she would have died and I would get relief, it make my heart shrink. I felt sick of just the mare thought of her leaving.
I know I don't want her to attract me this much but I also don't wanna lose her.
Call me selfish or whatever but I wouldn't lose what's mine.
My eyes were wandering over her face which was half hidden by her hairs. I moved a little and faced her fully. I moved my hand and removed the strands of her hairs from her face, holding them back but they again slides and came in same position.
I smiled.
Her hair are too way silky.
I adjusted them at back of her ear.
And then my fingers wondered over her mark. Along the side of her eye towards her jawline.
Her every feature was mesmerizing.
Her eyebrows....
Her deep eyes that hold so much love...
Her long lashes that wants to shower love and happiness everywhere.....
Her nose with a cute little nosepin.....
Her lips..... why are they so tempting....
I think I should stop now or I'll do something that I would regret later...
I did the usual thing I do always.
Safely removing my hand under her, I placed the pillow instead of me and quietly placed her hand on it as she had placed on me.
She moved a bit but again fall asleep with small smile on her face.
Why was I smiling seeing her smile?
God! Soha! Please stop whatever you are doing to me.
I shook my head and went to washroom for a shower.
I had to get ready for the meeting as it was 1 in the afternoon already.
I guess we both slept a little longer than usual.
I would let her sleep. I would come back from the meeting then we may go for an outing.
Oohh! So Sheharyar Ali would now take her Mrs for shopping also....
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Brilliant isn't it?
Shut up!
And again the fight of my brain and heart started as I continued taking shower.
----------
I woke up to the sound of my mobile ringing.
Kon hai is waqat! Aram se sone bhi nahi detay.
I blindly searched for my phone on the nightstand and luckily I got it in my hands,
"Hel..lo" I sounded so sleepy.
"Wake up sleepy head! Its almost night here. There must be afternoon there. " it was ifra.
"Hmmm...." I still didn't opened my eyes.
I was too tired to do so.
"Lagta hai raat kafi lambiiiiiii guzri ha kisi k sath romance karty karty...."
She laughed.
"Hmmm ....." I wasn't even listening to her.
"Are you waking up or I'll call Sheharyar?" She said in a high tone.
That was when my eyes opened and I adjusted to the surrounding light.
Curtains were closed so I couldn't see much of outside so I turned to see the clock hanging on wall.
2:40 p.m.???
Whaat?
I slept this long?
No! This clock must be defected.
Sheharyar....Where is he?
My eyes wandered in the whole room. He wasn't anywhere. Washroom door was also open a little that means he isn't there also.
"Hellooo? Phir se soo gai kia?" Ye larki bhi na!
"Kiu phone kia ha?" I asked in frustration while standing up from the bed looking for Sheharyar.
"Wah bhai wah! Piyar ma log sab kuch bhool jaty han ye tou suna tha aj dekh bhi lia. Ek din nhi hua gaye hue aur dost se baat dekho zara kaisy kar rahi!"
And she again started with her melodrama.
I went towards the balcony and he wasn't there also. Not in washroom.
Where could he go?
"Ifra! I was sleeping! I just woke up by your call what would you expect from me else than being frustrated?"
I asked while sitting on bed.
"Nothing I just wanted to say that talk to haarib and stop him from doing stupid stuffs. I am not gonna agree at his stupidities. Tell him to just stay away. " now she sounded worried and frustrated.
"What happened now?" I asked while my eyes fall on the paper pad placed on side of bed beside me where I was sleeping.
"I am going to attend the meeting. Will be late.
If you want to order something, just go ahead and don't go out of room or hotel.
Your buddy!"
I smiled reading it.
He is being kinda sweet.
"Nothing just tell him" ifra was still on phone.
"Okay! I'll talk to him. But trust me, he is a nice guy. Ab tu ziyada hi nakhre kar rahi ha" I said to her.
"Whatever! Just do what I said. Now bye! I have to sleep. "
"Subha yaad se orphanage party ma chali jana warna bohat mat khao gi mere se. Okay now bye. Good night" I smiled and cut the call.
Still holding that page I think of what to do now?
I firstly opened the curtains and the view out there was breathtaking.
Seaside view is always the best of nature.
I smiled and went to order something to eat.
I guess after that I should set the cupboard and then take a shower.
Yeah that would be fine.
--------
A tub full of warm water and you being in there.....
A heavenly feeling.
I was done with a loooonnng bath.
As I came out and rolled the towel around me fully, I searched for my clothes.
Shit! Soha madam you forgot them outside.
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Relax! There is no one outside.
I would go and change outside.
I still covered my body with the towel. Only my legs till knee were hidden and my both shoulders were exposed, the towel was covering my chest area.
I moved outside freely and started singing the song that was engulfing my mind since too long.
"Ap ki manzil hun mai....
Meri manzil ap han....
Kiu mai tufan se daru....
Mera sahil ap han....
Koi tufano se keh dai....
Mil gaya sahil mujhe....
Ap ki nazro se samjha...
Piyar k......"
My words got stuck right there in my throat as I saw what was waiting for me in the room.
--------
I was sitting on the couch with my legs on the table in front.
I just came in the room about 5 minutes ago and opened the door with the card I have.
The day was hell hectic although I was able to finalize the deal.
I put my coat on the chair and loosen up my tie, opening the collar button.
I put my head back of the chair for relaxing.
I could heard the shower so obviously soha was in there.
Suddenly again a sweet melodious voice came,
"Ap ki manzil hun mai....
Meri manzil ap han....
Kiu mai tufan se daru....
Mera sahil ap han...."
So I was right! It was her voice that day too. She sings so well.
My eyes were fixed on the bathroom door, listening to the song.
I always have loved the songs of 90's.
Music, lyrics, everything.
Suddenly the door opened and what revealed just took my breaths away.
"Koi tufano se keh dai....
Mil gaya sahil mujhe....
Ap ki nazro ne samjha...
Piyar k......"
She didn't saw me first but when she did, I guess she stopped breathing.
She stood there just like a statue.
Even I couldn't move from my place.
We both had a distance of few feets but our eyes were boring into each others.
Her were widen with fear while mine were widen with shock.
She then felt conscious and was holding the towel a bit more tightly.
Her wet long hair were scattered all over her shoulder and back. Few strands were coming in front of her eye disturbing her but she didn't removed them as her both hands were busy in shivering and holding the towel.
Her shoulders were bare and I could see her long neck very clearly. Drops of water were dripping from her hair on her neck and shoulders.
The towel covered her body till her knees. So yeah, I could see her legs too.
I must say, she is really beautiful.
My legs unwantedly took me near her.
I walked step by step near her and she didn't moved from her place. As if her feet were glued to the ground.
Nervousness was all written over her face. Her eyes were also fixed on ground just like her feets.
I smiled looking at her condition.
On my way towards her, I took her clothes in my right hand that were placed on the bed.
I was now an inch away from her.
She wasn't looking up.
Hands tightly holding the towel and hairs disturbing her eyes.
I just wanted to hug her right now. She was full red like a tomato.
I placed my left finger under her chin and forced her to look upwards.
She still didn't looked up. As if she was afraid to look into my eyes.
Her eyebrows were wet too and water drops were on her cheeks and her lips.
Can I taste that water drop?
Shut up Sheharyar! What the .... hell ...
Just stop your anticipation and let her go.
My brain was continuously stopping me but I guess my heart was out of control right now.
My fingers removed the strands of hair from her face, placing them behind her ear. I cupped her face fully with my left hand.
My hand felt hot over her cold cheek.
I was this close to her that I could listen her racing heart beat.
I smiled.
So I also effect her as she effects me?
I don't know what came into my mind, I moved forward and kissed her forehead.
She flinched as if an electric current ran through her whole body.
I didn't removed my lips from her forehead. I don't know why but I was saving the moment.
I brought my right hand that was holding her clothes, to her waistline and I hold her tightly.
I then moved a little away and placed my forehead on hers.
Her eyes were pinched closed. I started to moved forward making her move backwards.
It was I who was forcing each step.
One hand on her cheek and other around her waist.
Her both hands holding towel.
Both foreheads resting on each other.
That was how I lead her backwards into the bathroom.
I placed her clothes on the marbel beside the washing basin without removing our forehead.
I again made her look upwards but she didn't.
I smiled again.
"I didn't knew you were this much shy. " I said in a whispering tone.
She didn't moved.
I came closer near her left ear and she took a deep breath.
"You look so freaking beautiful when you get shy.
You can change now, I am going. "
I whispered and then left her with one last kiss on her forehead.
I closed the door and placed my forehead on it.
What the hell was I thinking.
I....
I pinched closed my eyes.
Soha! Why you always makes me lose control over myself. Why?
Why I forget about every pain of my life when you are near.
My depression is no more since you have been by my side all the time.
I don't need the pills for my headache but your coffee....
I don't need sleep to relax my muscles but your smile....
Someone who always taunts me and never gets afraid of my anger or my loud voice.
You are just like a beauty for the beast....
-------------
"Sweetie all the arrangements of todays party have been done. Don't you worry. Bas tum bacho ko le k ground ma aa jao. " Mrs. Stella placed a hand on my shoulder reassuring me about the arrangements.
Actually I was at the orphanage. The orphanage that I, soha and zuhaib have made.
It's our little own world.
Itnay sare bachay jin k maa baap nahi hain un ko hum yaha piyar, muhabbat aur khaloos k sath parwarish dety han. Un ki zarorat aur har khawahish ka khayal krty han.
And I just love kids.
"Yahya ka mood sahi hua ya nhi?" I asked.
Yahya was a cute little boy of 6 years. He always got upset if soha won't come to meet him. He calls himself her boyfriend. He loves her so much.
"Na baba! Ap hi samjhao us ko toh. Meri toh ek nahi man raha. Background mai muu phula k baitha hua ha. " she replied.
"Acha mai dekhti hun. " I moved towards the background. I also picked up the ice cream from the freezer for him.
It was evening and the weather was becoming quite good. Black clouds filled the sky and I think its about to rain.
Well it would be great if it rains. Maza aa jaye ga.
There he was, sitting on one of the stairs that lead to the inside of the orphanage building.
Knees folded over the chest, hands over his knees and chin placed over the joined kees.
"I screeeeeeemm...
You screeeeeeemm....
We alll love is... ice creammmmm"
I sang the song which usually soha sings and he always hugs her after getting the ice cream.
He looked up at me and then towards ice cream. And he gave me a stern stare.
Bohat hi nakhre han bhai is k toh.
Ab is ko kaise khush kru.... soha mujhe mar day gi.
"Baby! Come on. Aj birthday party ha na ap ki. You won't be happy toh aise kaise chaly ga?" I sat beside him in the same posture he was.
"Jab soha ko meri fikar nahi toh ap kiu ai ho. Ap bhi jao yaha se. " he was quite angry.
"Sweetie usi ne mujhe bheja ha. Ussay koi kam aa gaya tha na toh she send me and she also sent alots of gifts for you. "
I again tried but no use.
"I hate soha! Us ne mujhe us husband ki wajah se chor dia .... she forgot me. "
Suddenly an iPad came in front of me and yahya and soha's picture was there. A vedio may be.
I looked up towards the person who did this life saving work.
And it was the person I hate the most.
Haarib.
"Happy wala birthday my jaan! You know na I love you sooo sooo much. Even more than my own husband. Ap toh mere bf han.... toh obviously boyfriend ko husband se ziyada piyar karty han. I have send alooooottt of gifts for you and I would be waiting for my kiss okay. Now smile and hurry up go cut the cake. "
It was a vedio of soha saying all this to yahya. He smiled seeing the vedio and held the iPad close. When the vedio ended, he again became sad.
"Pakke Ped Par Paka Papita Paka Ped Ya Paka Papita
Pake Ped Ko Pakde Pinku Pinku Pakde Paka Papita!"
Haarib said it all in a row and I and yahya both frowned.
"Zara gaa k dekhao ye..." haarib said.
"Pakke pakra papita....arghh" yayha forgot about his anger and focused on what haarib was saying.
All the children came in the ground and everyone surrounded haarib like a bee getting the honey just because haarib had alots of balloons on his other hand.
He started to gave everyone a single balloon. One was left with red heart.
He bent down in front of me and offered me the balloon. I smiled but bent down and took the balloon in my hand and he smiled widely.
Then I smashed it and all the children looked towards me and haarib.
"Bacho ao mai tum sab ko ek story sunata hun. Hey buddy! Come here. This story will help you loving soha more" Haarib gathered all the children and sat on the grass in between while addressing yahya. He looked at him and came running towards him.
Abhi mere se ye larka man nahi raha tha aur ab dekho zara.
"
Larka Yeh Kehta Hai Ladki Se
Hoton Pe Dabi Dabi Hasi Se"
He stood up and came towards me.
"Aaya Hoon Door Se Karne Main Dosti
Haath Mila Lo Ajnabee Se...."
He sang the song and placed his hand forward.
All the kids shouted as 'yessss'
I rolled my eyes and moved towards the table where cake was placed.
"Aap Ka Saath To Suhana Hain
Baaton Mein Meetha Tarana hain
Dil Ke Kone Mein Bitha Lo Ji
Kitna Akela Deewaana Hai
Ladka Yeh Kehta Hai Ladki Se
De Do Jawab Mujhe Jaldi Se
Aaya Hoon Door se
Karne mai dosti...
Hath mila lo ajnabi se...."
He really sings well.
He then picked yahya on his shoulders and moved in circles. Everyone was around him.
He really knows how to impress kids.
"Phir kia hua?" This was yahya who asked haarib.
I frowned. Haarib then came in front of me again and put yahya down and signalled him to see his actions.
He moved towards me and sat on his knees in front of me and again sang,
"Kyon Darti Ho Dil Nahin Todunga
Main Tera Saath Nahin Chodunga
Mujhko Kabhi Aazmalo Ji
Tum Se Kabhi Mooh Na Modunga"
I smiled at his words and the seriousness in his voice.
He then again stood up and went towards yayha picking him up in his arms again.
"Ladka Yeh Kehta Hai Ladki Se
Itlati Sharmaati Sharmili Se
Aaya Hoon Door Se Karne Main Dosti
Haath Mila Lo Ajnabee Se"
He finished the song looking at me and then bringing yahya for the cake cutting.
He cut the cake being in Haarib's arms.
I guess soha k baad janab ko haarib miya pasand aa gaye han. Mai toh kahi bhi nhi ati na ....
But still I smiled at the scene. Atleast someone was there to make this party memorable.
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