Me and Igor have elected to pretend like the incident from this morning didn’t happen. I was okay with it at breakfast, but I do want to address it.

I mean, from what I understand from my stepmother and the other women who were my advisors before I got married males always wake up stiff down there.

It isn’t something I have much experience with as Shepherd was always gone by the morning on all the nights he came into my chambers or summoned me to his bed.

All day I haven’t been able to think of anything else. I mean, I thought I’d seen its sheer size before, but I was wrong. And I know it is unhonorable to think of him this way.

This is why we should talk, so I can apologize and let him know he doesn’t have to be embarrassed, I don’t think anything of it. its fine.

The sun has gone down, and we need to share a bed again and we will need to clear the air before then.

I step out of the washing basin. I needed that bath too. Today I have been a little more damp than usual. This has never happened to me before, but every time I think about what I saw, something pulls at me from the inside.

It’s an intense feeling I’ve never felt before, but I don’t know what to do with it or how to prevent my body’s reaction.

I have to remind myself that I am a guest, and my stay here is temporary, I can’t make things complicated for him. And I need to make sure I come with as little problems as possible. I put on the oversized shirt that once belonged to Igor but according to him he wore only 20 years ago.

With the material of the shirt, I was able to make two dresses, one for the day and another for night. Although this one is shorter, it still covers all my private areas and even goes up to mid-thigh. Lucky for me he did have needles and thread around here.

I tie my hair and then I open the door for the water. I find him ready outside the door as usual. He takes my water and I go back inside.

I sit up at the edge of the bed and wait for him.

I keep going over what I will say.

‘I didn’t see anything.’

‘I am used to naked men, so it’s no big deal.’

‘You don’t have to feel embarrassed; my former husband is the one who should be embarrassed.’

‘I’ve already forgotten about it.’

I groan inside. Those are all bad. And I don’t want to bring up Shepherd, he is dead to me, and I am dead to that life. I’m sure he has moved on with his lover anyway and they have made sure to smear my name in dirt and even if I wanted to, I can never show my face again.

Maybe they even think I really am dead. I don’t know of any humans who have survived falling in the waterfall, it’s always assumed the person is dead.

The careful steps of Igor coming in and closing the door bring me back to present matters.

He walks and sits in the chair. The minutes stretch between us and he leans on the wall, and he really sets in the chair, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. My brows furrow. Is he going back to the chair?

“Igor…?”

“Hm?”

“Um, are you coming to bed?”

He doesn’t answer immediately.

“Igor?”

“It’s better this way, Aria. Go to bed.” His voice is low but even and strong.

“Igor, I am a grown woman. You know that, right?”

“Aria…” he breathes out like he’s defeated. He doesn’t want to yield, well tough.

“Igor, come to bed, now.” I harden my voice and I raise it a little, feeling a little angry and quite frankly frustrated. He is so stubborn sometimes.

His eyes open and he lowers his head slowly. “Did you just scold me?”

I cross my arms on my chest and I give him a pointed look. “Come to bed, now, or I will also sleep sitting up like this.”

His lips caress his tusks as his mouth opens and closes like he doesn’t believe me. we stare down at each other for a long minute before he gets up and nears the bed. I crawl in and I take my side by the wall.

I get under the blanket, and he lies next to me. It worries me a little that he doesn’t have the blanket. I know he is warmer than humans, but the winter is getting colder at night, and I wish there was a way we could both share the warmth.

But is stuff it down. His warm body once again envelops me in its warmth, and I am off to dreamland. Before I am out, I wish I could be close to him again, I wish it was possible.

In my dreams I see the white wolf. This time it comes out of the shadows and its majestic form towers over me. I see a familiarity behind its eyes I can’t place. Like I know it, like…like home. We both stand there staring at each other and that is all the dream.

Before I open my eyes, I feel powerful arms around me.

Igor.

I don’t open them for a while, knowing that if I open them, this may be over. When I finally open them, I am met with those sharp grey ones. He was watching me sleep? And what’s more, he’s not moving or running like yesterday.

We are locked on a moment where none of us move. A dally with the forbidden. We stare into each other’s eyes, and I find my truth in his. But it’s like he snaps out of it, and he gives me an apologetic smile. He clears his throat, and he sits up.

“Well good morning, human.”

I roll my eyes and sleep on my back. “Say my name, Mr. Orc.”

I see his cheeks spreading before he gets off the bed. His eyes look to the window.

“Looks like it snowed a little at night.”

I sit up so quick, and Igor finds it amusing. But I haven’t ever seen snow before. Sure, our winters get cold, but I have never actually seen snow before. I get up to look out the window. But as soon as my feet connects with the floor, I retreat them in pain. Frack, that is cold.

“Is it too cold for you?”

I nod. He comes close and he picks me up.

“Igor? You don’t have to.” I try to protest.

“I need to get you shoes.” Is all he says and my brows furrow.

“Where will you get them?” I can hardly concentrate on the beautiful sight of leaves bending to the weight of snow as I’m this close to him and I am still trying to figure out where he plans to get me shoes.

“You don’t need to worry about that, Aria.”

He takes me back when I’ve seen, and he places me back on the bed.

“You are not leaving this bed today. The frost bites.”

“I can’t sleep all day, what will we eat?”

“I was cooking just fine when I was living alone.”

“Um, no offence but you weren’t…” I shrug with a grin, and he narrows his eyes at me before he grins too.

“Well, that was offensive. My stomach never complained.”

“That’s because it didn’t know better. Do you want to eat your own food anymore?” I smirk

He chuckles. “Fine. But I will carry you. You are still not touching the ground.”

“Will you carry me for hours?” I challenge

“Yes.”

“Am I not heavy to you?”

“Barely more than a feather.” He smirks smugly and I throw the pillow his way which he ducks with a chuckle.

We go about our day semi normally. He brought me my bathing water closer to the bed and I bathed, and we sat indoors all day. He didn’t get too hot from the heater and like he said, he carried me through all the cooking.

We sit and we eat in the afternoon, the plate between us in the bed.

Then I remember something that has been bothering me.

“Um, Igor…”

He looks up to me and he frowns, he looks concerned.

“I…I don’t know how to say this. But I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I know I am annoying sometimes but if you want me to leave, I will.”

He grunts and he looks back down to his food with no immediate answer. Then he says, “Aria, you think I am in a rush for you to leave after all the good food I eat now since you got here?”

I knit my eyebrows together. “I’m just saying that—”

“Stay as long as you want. I don’t find you annoying.”

And I know that is the end of that. He collects our dishes and I wait for him in bed.

My mind thinks of how kindly I’ve been treated by this creature. Again, kindlier than any of my own people ever had. How I’ve found a friend. I find myself wanting to let go of all my past. And I know part of that is really letting it go.

I get under the blanket, and I wait for him to return. He finds me sitting up in the covers and he gives me a questioning look as he comes in bed.

“Igor.”

“Yes, Aria.” He lays on his back and turns his face to me.

“I know we haven’t talked about it, but I want to.”

His face houses some trepidation at my words.

“I want to tell you. About my life. Do you want to listen?”

His hand stretches to snake my body then he does the unexpected and pulls me closer to him. My lips part and my heart leaps a fraction.

“Don’t over think it. I don’t want you to raise your voice.”

I snort at the ridiculous explanation.

After that moment is gone, the emotions clog my throat again as the memories come back to me. I dint realize it would be this hard, and I am still not sure why I want to tell him all this.

His warm hand covers both my knitted ones and in an instant, my insides calm down. My eyes meet his and I find something I have never seen in another’s before: safety.

I sigh before I begin. “I was married before I came here.”

________________________________________

1 being, watch your mouth, she's an honorable queen. She is as dry as the Sahara. And 10 being somebody needs to send the fire department to cool her down and Igor isn't safe.