I stare at the moon as it towers over the world, and it leers over all of us. I never feel small in the presence of any creature, but I always feel tiny and insignificant when I look up at it. It is one of the few things that bring humility to my heart.

Tonight is another night where sleep just slips from me and I know I will be up maybe for a few days before my body can't handle no more and then I sleep like a dead fish.

Although I had hoped my acquaintance with those new leaves would finally work. They had been working well the past six moons, but my body doesn't seem to be affected by them anymore.

If I was back home, I'd go to the herbalist who used to make that portion for me when I was younger.

Home.

A place so far from me. A place realms away. What was supposed to be a life lesson from my mother and uncle to me, turned into a hundred years in this realm. A realm of humans, where I am the monster of every youngling's nightmare and a cautionary tale for naughty children.

My mother would be proud. She would be proud of my growth as an orc. No longer the disappointment, the immature prince who didn't understand the importance of his duties nor cared for his people.

I have been on my own here for a century and the time to return to my realm draws near. Soon I will need to go back and take my place amongst my own people.

But am I different? Have I changed? Have I learned anything? Or am I still the reckless, hot head who cares for no one nor acts before they think?

Who knows.

Who can tell me?

But in less than a year, I will have to go back, and I will have to face my mother, uncle and the horde's scrutiny. Only when the rune disappears can travel back. I touch my thigh where the rune is.

I lick my tusks remembering how I crushed the leg of the mage who drew it on me. I wonder what she will say seeing me back. I had promised to have her head when I returned and a hundred years isn't long enough time to forget what she did, what they all did.

They all betrayed me. Granted, I deserved it, but she was supposed to be my woman, she was supposed to be on my side. I know she couldn't have said no to the queen, my mother, but she was mine and I was hers and she should have stood by me, instead of banding with those who didn't believe in me.

But were they right?

I have asked myself that a million times. Do I even know what they were rambling about? Will I show up different or will I still be the same orc who has no heart for anything? Even now, do I care about anyone else's wellbeing? Do I care?

The answer stares at me, as clear as the moon above: no, I do not.

My mother said I haven't found something I care enough for, but maybe the more plausible reasoning is this is just who I am, maybe I'm just not empathetic enough. Who I will always be. I was meant to be alone.

And if being here alone has taught me anything, is I like the quiet, I like being alone. No one to bother me, no one to ask anything of me. I can just plan my days how I like. I can go hunting, and I can just not be responsible for anyone's wellbeing. That's enough for me.

I get up from the small hill not far from my house and I elect to stretch my legs. Maybe a midnight swim. It is pure luck to me that humans all sleep at night and all of them are afraid of the night. I can move how I want, and I can go everywhere I please and the air is especially crisp this night.

One of the things I hated when I arrived here was the weather. It is a bit warmer than my realm. Another reason why I prefer the night over the day.

Summers are hell for me.

I try to stay out of the sun at all costs and I need to stay under the shade all the time. Orc folk are naturally hot blooded, hotter blooded than even humans and we get hot quickly. Another stark difference between the realms.

Back home, most of us wear minimal clothing. Only limiting it to cover the private details and customary or ranking garments. And humans are obsessed with being clothed. You'd swear all of them don't have bodies and they have something to hide.

Tonight feels calmer than usual. And I don't know what it is, but something in the air feels different, a strange note I can't decipher.

I decide to not swim at the lake next to my house but go to the other side where the river flows from the waterfall. I walk all the way and I walk next to the river. The running water always calms me and brings me inexplicable peace, and I always feel companioned when I'm next to the water.

It's the best thing about this realm: they have the best water bodies. Their rivers, their lakes and even their vast ocean. Where else in my land most water bodies are not safe for my kind to swim, because of all the other creatures that inhabit them, and we have a select few to drink from.

Here I learned swimming like the water creatures, and it is one of my favorite things to do. I hope I can bring a few of my kin when I can go back. This place is a little paradise for my senses, other than when it gets hot.

I descend the slope and I step into the shallow waters, and I start walking upstream. I let out a breath at the caress to my feet by the mud under my feet and the water that runs through it.

The waterfall calls my name from afar, and my heart rate picks up in anticipation. It's like I will find something there, which is strange, I never see anything. I never find anything but the silence and the beautiful peace of the night.

I start swimming when the water gets deeper, and I dive under in the black abyss, and I feel the peace of it all wash over me. I come up for air and I swim upstream opposite the current. It is always great practice to swim against the current, it always provides a descent exercise for me.

I swim for a while before I make it to the waterfall, and I swim to the bank. I need some rest before its dawn, and I have to walk back to my house.

A small lump catches my eye near the mud. A white lump.

Wait, is it a human? Are they dead? Or they are sleeping.

Strange that they would choose to abandon their comforts and come and lay here. As I get closer my heart hammers harder in my chest. For some reason I feel a little panicked. I take longer strides and I am out of the water, and I quicken my steps to them.

Something feels wrong. Something is wrong. I have never cared for dead humans but why do I want to get near this one and make sure they are well?

I see it's a woman when I get close, but they are looking the other way. Their clothes are torn, and they are wet. Were they swimming? They aren't too far from the bank. I wonder how they got here. Maybe they almost drowned.

My heart squeezes at that thought. I don't understand my feelings. I fall on my knees, and I turn them to me so I can make sure they are still alive.

My heart stops and it breaks all at once. I try to feel their pulse and it is faint, very faint. But they are still alive, barely.

Then I hear rustling in the trees, and I don't turn my face immediately. I rise with this small human in my arms. I need to help them.

I now look at the direction of where the noise was coming from, and my eyes meet the black ones of the white wolf. Even in night, the wolf's black eyes glisten with their blackness. It's the rogue wolf that lives on this forest. I've only encountered it once before and it was far a few years ago. I see their eyes on this human in my hands. Do they know them?

I don't have time to focus on it as I take to the forest, leaving it standing there. I need to find the kai plant. If they almost drowned, they'll need it. I pick my speed when I feel her pulse fading further and I panic.

I don't know why but I know I need to save this human. Maybe they can tell me what they were doing in the water and what happened to them.

I get to a clearing, and I see the plant I'm looking for. I place her gently on the ground and I go pick the leaves. I hear leaves rustling behind me and it's the wolf again. I growl at the beast, and it growls back. I advance to it. What if it wants to harm the human and it is responsible for them getting hurt?

But I halt my advancing when I see the chewed leaves in their mouth. It is trying to help her.

We communicate quickly and I move to kneel next to her. The beast approaches. She starts trembling. She is cold. I open her mouth. The wolf dumps the herb infused green saliva into her mouth.

I elevate her head, so she doesn't choke on it. It takes a few seconds, but she coughs, and her pulse jumps a little. I take her in my arms. She is still cold. I tear her clothing off her; it is making her worse. Then I pick her up bare body and I head to my shelter.

The wolf runs beside me but when I get to my house, it stands further. Good idea, because I don't welcome uninvited guests.

My gaze hasn't moved from the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. I get in and I lay her in my bed. She still trembles. She's cold.

Why in the universe are human so thin-skinned?

Why don't they have fur like other thin-skinned creatures? I close my window and the door. I take the only blanket I keep just in case it gets cold like that one winter 20 years ago. I cover her with it.

Her tremble subsides a little. Her teeth clank and her skin looks whitish like she's been in water for an extended period. Her hair is also still wet. It's like a wet ball of fur on her head. I need to cover it and put it away from her body. I rustle around looking for rags. I cover her hair as best as I can.

I step out for more leaves so I can make tea for her when she wakes up. I find the white wolf still standing on my borders. I pull a few leaves in the close by trees. I pay the wolf no attention.

Is it her wolf? Or it knows her? I make a fire quickly and I alternate between checking on her and making her something to get her to warm up. I stuff the burning logs that no longer have smoke in the small heater I made, and I take it inside.

I place it in the middle of the room, and I get out and finish warming the herb mixture made from kai and janga leaves. The wolf doesn't leave until I put out the fire and I go inside for good.

I pull a chair and I sit next to the bed after, and I try to use a warm towel to rub her body with the mixture I made.

I sit and watch her trembling body until she calms down and her body starts getting warm, wondering to myself what her story is and feeling a pinch because I know when she wakes, she will run because humans can never see anything past what they perceive.

She will run from me like they all do.

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