He almost kicks the door to his cabinet to the ground with his force, and he pulls me inside and I stagger when he lets me go. The door shuts with a thud and I jump. I am panting slightly. He didn't take into account my shorter legs as he sprint walked.

"What are you doing behind my back?" he accuses.

My brows furrow because I don't understand his meaning. "What--?"

"How are you going to be pregnant when I don't ever plan to bed you again?"

My lips tremble. "Shepherd..."

"It's king to you, whore! What have you done?"

"I-I haven't done anything. You know---"

"Oh, I don't think I do."

"I haven't done anything. You have to believe me."

He looks at me up and down. "You will never bear the future of this kingdom. And you know why?"

I shake my head, tears melting my face.

"Because I don't ever plan to have any offspring with you. And you know why?"

I shake it again.

"You are not worthy. You have nothing to offer this kingdom. And I despise you..." he really emphasizes the last one and he draws it out of his lips so I am not mistaken.

"Then why did you marry me!?" I don't care anymore.

"You were my mother's choice. Her attempt to get me to be who she wanted me to be, but I will never be yours."

I stand there frozen. I would think I stopped breathing if it wasn't for the small misty cloud of cold breath as I pant slowly. His cabinet is one of the coldest rooms in the castle. It overlooks the lake, and the lake gets even colder when the days are like these.

"Then why...why keep me here. Set me free." I say with an almost whisper. My prayer to him. I know he is my god in this very moment. My whole life and future are in his hands. He doesn't say anything, just scoffs and he is out of the room the next moment.

I stand there for a long time not moving. Afraid of everything being real if I do. Because if I do, where am I even going? What am I even going to do? Am I going to go play pretend queen in my chambers? I walk to the window, and I open it.

The colder air assaults me, and I shiver. I wrap my arms around myself as the sharp cold reminds me, I'm still alive. I look at the still lake, then I look beyond it. I envy the animals I can't even see. The wild animals that live free with no rules, politics and expectations binding them.

I remember the tales my grandmother used to tell me about an atrocious beast that lives in the deep of the forest. They say it is so fearsome that mere men can't stand before it. My heart fills with envy. I wish I had that freedom.

I wish I could be free.

A soft knock pulls me out of my deterioration, but I don't answer.

"Queen Aria..." Hannah's small voice comes from the other side. I close the windows and I walk to open. I need to get warm. I pass her and I take the direction to my chambers.

"Um, queen Aria, your mother-in-law requests your audience in the grand hall." I hear her light footsteps behind me, but I am not stopping.

"Tell them I am not feeling well. I am going to lie down." I don't even falter in my speech.

"But queen, she said she-"

I stop abruptly and she almost collides with me, and she shrinks back immediately. "I am the queen, Hannah, and I said I am not feeling well. Go tell them and stop following me." I growl at her.

I feel horrible as soon as I do but I can't entertain that right now. I turn and I continue stomping to my chambers. I get in and I take off the corset and I wear a lighter dress and I plop in my desk, and I open my book.

My brother got it for me as a wedding present. He said he knew I would want to document everything in my new journey. Though we were not the closest, but he always loved me in his own way and he always supported my writing habit.

I write for hours, pouring out all my feelings on paper. Some are angry rants and some are just rumblings of despair.

I don't come out for the rest of the day, and I go to bed early.

I am woken by air chilling me, and I wake up thinking maybe a window opened. I halt my movement when I see the shadow seated on my desk.

"Wh-who are you and what are you doing here?"

I try to squint my eyes, but I don't see them.

"You have lasted longer than I anticipated." The voice chills me to my core.

Shamus.

What is he doing here in the middle of the night?

"This is inappropriate, Shamus. What are you doing here?"

He rises and his face comes into the moon shining brightly spilling inside. He walks in small, threatening steps. His hands at the back of his body and I know it can't be good.

"I thought you were a smart girl, Aria and I thought you would have taken the hint by now."

I back away from him and I fold myself hoping this is a nightmare and it will end soon.

His hidden hands come to his front, and I gasp at the dagger on his hands.

"Shamus..." my voice comes out small and shaky. Tears stain my vision, but I wipe them quickly. I can't afford to not see him.

But he doesn't advance anymore, he just looms over my bed, and he plays with the dagger in his hands, making it known his mastery of the weapon.

"Did he send you to do this?" I ask because if I am dying, then I need the truth.

He doesn't answer.

"Where is he?"

He sighs. "He's in bed. In our bed." Then he pauses. "Can't you see you are the dead weight, Aria? What must a man do?"

I scream and he is on the bed instantly. He overpowers me easily and he clamps my mouth with his gloved hand. I try to fight but he is much stronger. I cry into his hand, and I stare back at the devil himself.

I know he will kill me.

"No one will hear you. Remember servants don't come around here at night." His face widens in a twisted grin when he sees my realization.

He removes his hand from my mouth, and I have no immediate words. I cry to the cold, dead eyes.

"Please... please don't kill me... please..." I beg for myself, for my life.

"Ah, see that won't do. As long as you are here, a symbol of what they all want him to be, he won't be free to live his life with me by his side. He was never supposed to marry."

"I will disappear, just...please let me go. I will leave." I babble not even sure the devil will have a heart.

I, however, see him considering it. He moves from me, and he kneels in the middle of the bed, and I don't rise or move, in case he thinks I'm a threat and he finishes this. He looks to the direction of the king's chambers then he licks his lips.

"Run."

It takes me a moment and I don't move, not believing he was letting me go.

"Aria, I said disappear, unless you want to be underground or food to the wild animals?"

I scramble off the bed. I go to the clothes cupboard.

"Aria, you take nothing but what you are wearing. Take the orchid route, there are no guards there right now, then the lake towards the wall. There's less patrol. If you get caught, I will finish this."

I sprint to the door, but I stop before I'm out.

"Did he ask you to do this?" I look over my shoulder.

We lock eyes briefly. "What do you think?"

I swallow bile. "Thank you."

I open the door and I step in the hallway barefoot, and it almost feels like the ground wants to bite my delicate feet, but I run for my life. I duck by the orchids, and I sneak out.

By the time I get to the lake I have already fallen a few times, but I know I can't stop running.

The alarm blares just as I can see the wall. I hear the dogs and the guards from afar moments after that.

Frack. Shamus.

He must have said I'm running, proving his words from earlier to be true. I know whatever happens, I can't let them catch me. I don't look behind me, but I can see lights behind me, they must have caught my scent.

I run faster as I near the wall. Luckily the lake joins the river not far from here. I hear boots behind me, and I climb the wall. My soft hand gets cut and I try again. I climb the rough stone, understanding that it will be better if I get away with cut hands than to kneel in front of my husband.

I crawl the top of the stone wall. The guards catch up with me. They start climbing and I jump on the black water. Knowing anything is better than being caught.

If they catch me then my husband and Shamus will go scot-free, and I will be the disgraced queen. I will still be disgraced but at least I will rather die by the mouths of wild animals than at their hands and by their judgement.

The freezing water hits my body, and I can't move for a few seconds. I move my limbs when I realize I will drown if I don't do anything. I try to paddle, and I take a large gulp of air when I get on top of the water.

My face gets hit with lights and voices running alongside the lake. I paddle quicker, seeing the moving river ahead. At least if I can get to the river then it will carry me. I swim harder when I hear noises from the bank like someone jumping in. I paddle.

I can't let them catch me.

I swim for my life. I remember all the swimming lessons my mother taught me before she ran away. Before my father started looking at me like his ticket to political office. Before he remarried. I paddle harder and the moving current pulls me from underneath, and I try to struggle but it is too strong.

I take another large gulp before I am pulled under the water again. I don't see my pursuers anymore and the river carries me. I just try to keep myself above water, but I let the river do the rest. After a while, I see the waterfall. The water gets faster and faster the closer I get to the waterfall. The tree branches are too far. I resign myself to my fate.

This is it, my end.

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