《Reaching the Sky》26
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good morning to all of you! decided to update chapter 26 this morning para makatulog kayo WAHAHAHAH hindi ko lang alam kung good pa morning niyo after this pero sige push natin. and another reason why hindi ako makaupdate last night is bcs im outside with my ate, another date with her hiho. bakit kailangan ng jowa kung may ate ako HAHAHAHAHA chz pero need pa rin kita doc hihihi anw, read well and enjoy, readers!
since top issue naman ngayon sina moira, moira playlist tayo for today's vid. read this chapter while listening to the song above!
Jill looked at Tricia's name na isinulat ko sa buhangin. Tumitig siya ron nang ilang segundo bago ibinalik sa akin ang tingin.
"Wrong timing," she said and let out an awkward laugh. "I'll go now,"
I couldn't talk.
Nagsimula siyang mag lakad papalayo. Napapikit ako at bago pa siya makalayo nang tuluyan ay nagsalita ako.
"Jill," I called her.
Lumingon siya at ngumiti. "Hmm?"
She's trying her best not to cry. I can see it sa mga mata niya.
"Why?" My voice cracked. "Bakit.. bakit ang hilig mong bumalik at hayaan akong panoorin kang umalis ulit?"
Lumapit siya sa akin. She tried holding my hand pero inilayo ko 'yon. Napayuko siya.
"I'm sorry, bubby.."
There, I lost it. Hinayaan kong bumagsak ang mga luhang kanina pang nagbabadyang pumatak habang nakatitig sa kawalan.
I can't look at her.
"Alam mo ba.." I tried to calm myself. "Alam mo ba kung paano akong nasira nung mga panahon na.. iniwan ako nung taong nangako na hindi aalis?"
"Bubby.."
"Bakit ka umalis?" I said at napahawak sa lamesa. Nakakapanghina.
I tried to smile while still crying.
"I'm in love with you," I confessed out of nowhere.
Naglalakad lang kami ni Jill pabalik sa condo and I suddenly felt the urge to tell her those words na matagal ko nang tinatago.
Late night walks with her is the best.
"What? What did you say?" Jill asked, hindi niya yata narinig dahil nauuna siyang mag lakad.
"I said.." lumapit ako sa kaniya at hinawakan ang kamay niya. "I love you, Jill,"
Natawa siya. "I know right! Hindi mo naman ako matitiis for ilang years kung hindi mo ako mahal!" aniya at kinurot ako. "And you know that I love you too!"
"No, Jill.."
"What no?" She asked, confused by my answer.
I gulped and took a deep breath before talking.
"I love you, not.. just as my bestfriend," I said. "I love you more than that, Jill."
"Bubby.."
I smiled. Rejected, I guess?
"It's okay," I assured her. "You're not obligated to love me the same wa-"
Her lips crashed into mine.
"I do, too." She said at pinagdikit ang noo namin habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko.
Both of us smiled.
Only God knows how happy I am right now.
Finally, I have her now. Not just as my bestfriend, but as my lover.
Matapos ang gabing 'yon, naging malinaw ang lahat. Both of us became more clingy to each other. Mas lalo akong nag effort para mapasaya siya at maibigay lahat ng deserve niya.
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Jill became my everything.
Halos ibigay ko sa kaniya lahat. We had a healthy relationship, tho honestly speaking, it was not a very smooth sail for the both of us.
Kinailangan naming itago sa lahat kung ano 'yong tunay na meron kami. Kung ano talaga kami. Pero hindi naging mahirap 'yon dahil alam naman ng lahat kung paano kami umakto at gaano kami kaclose ni Jill bilang magkaibigan.
Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa kaniya, hindi ko ginawang issue 'yong bagay na iyon. Mas mahalaga si Jill sa kahit na ano. Okay lang kahit patago lang kami, basta alam kong sa akin pa rin siya.
Until one day, sa sobrang pagtatago at takot ni Jill na mahuli kami, umaabot na sa puntong itinatanggi niya ako.. na ni minsan ay hindi ko ginawa sa kaniya.
"Ma'am Jill, totoo po ba na may relasyon daw po kayo kay Y/N?" One of the news reporter asked.
Jill looked at me before looking back at the reporters. "No.. that's not true," she answered. "Y/N's just my bestfriend, nothing more."
After I heard that, I tried my best na pigilan ang iyak ko.
Ayokong magalit, ayokong mag tampo. Nangako akong iintindidin ko siya sa lahat ng pagkakataon. Pero minsan ay hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip. Bakit ganon kadali para sa kaniya na itanggi ako? Samantalang ako.. kapag ganoon ang tanong, pinipili kong hindi na lang sagutin. Dahil kahit patago lang kami, ayoko siyang itanggi.
But one night, birthday nung kaibigan ni Jill at inimbita kaming dalawa. It was one of the happiest night, lahat ng tao ay nagsasaya lang. Lahat ng problema ay nakalimutan at puro nag eenjoy lang. But little did I know, it will also be the worst night for me.
That night.. was the first time na uminom ako at nalasing.
And the moment I woke up.. there, everything changed.
Jill became cold and distant sa akin, with out giving me any reasons why. But still, kumapit ako.
I trusted her. Kumapit ako sa pagmamahal niya.
I did my best to keep her, dahil alam ko sa sarili kong hindi ko kayang mawala siya. Kahit na unti unti na rin akong nasisira.
Until that night came, Papa's death anniversary. I invited Jill to come over because I'm feeling down and I know all I need is her.
Sa kahit saan, si Jill ang sandalan ko.
Kumapit ako sa sinabi niyang darating siya, kaya nag hintay ako.
Naghintay ako pero walang Jill na nagpakita.
Naghintay ako pero walang dumating.
Masakit, pero mas nangibabaw pa rin 'yong pagmamahal ko sa kaniya. Ganito ko nga yata talaga siya kamahal.
Nung gabing 'yon, I did nothing but cry. Nang mahimasmasan, I decided to go out to get some fresh air, masyado akong nasasakal sa kwarto ko.
Nag punta ako sa lugar kung saan tahimik, mahangin, at tanging tunog lamang ng mga alon ang maririnig. Naupo ako sa isang bench at doon umiyak nang umiyak. Nag dala pa ako ng ilang soju mula sa bahay at ininom iyon habang nag iisip ng maraming bakit.
Bakit hindi siya nagrereply?
Bakit siya umoo kung hindi naman paninindigan?
Bakit pinaghintay niya ako sa wala?
Bakit hindi siya dumating?
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At lahat ng tanong ko ay nasagot nang magawi ang tingin ko sa kotse na nakapark sa hindi kalayuan. Bukas ang trunk nito at nakaharap sa dagat, I saw a girl sitting there but I can't clearly see her face.
Pero nang ibaba niya ang paa niya..
That shoes is familiar.
It's Jill's.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nagtulak sa akin para magkaroon ng lakas ng loob na lumapit doon.
I slowly walked towards the car.
Bawat hakbang ko.. ang bigat, ang sakit.
Habang napapalapit ako ay mas lalong lumilinaw sa utak at paningin ko kung sino 'yon.
When I reached the car, my heart sank.
"Jill.."
Jill immediately stood up at halata ang gulat sa mga mata niya. Agad niya akong hinila palayo ron, nag padala lang ako sa kaniya dahil hindi ko na rin macontrol ang sarili ko. Para akong mababaliw.
Nang magkaroon ng konting lakas, binawi ko ang kamay ko sa kaniya.
"Bubby, I'll expla-"
"Ang sakit mong mahalin, alam mo ba 'yon?" I said.
Hindi siya nag salita.
"Alam mo ba kung ilang oras akong nag iintay sayo? Umaasang dadating ka kasi sinabi mo," I continued while crying. "Sinabi mo Jill, e. Alam mo kung paano ako kumakapit sa lahat ng sinasabi mo," I tried wiping my tears. "Alam mo kung gaano kita pinagkakatiwalaan,"
"I'm sorry, bubby please I forgot. Masyado akong nastress, Ivan invited me to unwind and I sai-"
"You said yes?"
She slowly nodded at yumuko.
"How.. can you say yes to Ivan knowing that you have me who's waiting for you?"
Jill was about to talk when we heard that Ivan called her.
"Jill!"
I saw Jill looked at him.
That look, ibang iba sa kung paano niya ako tingnan.
"Don't," I whispered.
"Bubby, I just need to paalam sa kaniya, ah?" She said and held my hand. "Babalikan kita,"
"Please, Jill 'wag," I begged. "Nasasaktan mo na ako, huwag mo naman saktan lalo,"
Jill was about to walk away pero hindi ko binitawan ang kamay niya. "I'll be back, bubby,"
With her, I'm always the second option.
"Piliin mo naman ako," I said with full of hope na hindi siya babalik doon.
But still, she did.
The moment she chose na bumalik kay Ivan para magpaalam..
I know it's not me anymore that she wants.
She's not ready to risk what both of them have for me.
While me, I risked it all for her.
Sabagay, ano ba naman niya ako sa tingin ng ibang tao? Bestfriend.
Everything went blurry at parang bumagal lahat ng bagay sa paligid ko.
I watched my lover slowly walked away from me.
"Bubby, please. Isa 'yon sa mga bagay na sobrang pinagsisisihan ko," Jill said.
I scoffed. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap at kasakit para sakin na panoorin kang mag lakad palayo?" sabi mo. "And you know what hurts me more? You're not just walking away from me that time, you're walking towards him,"
"Bakit hindi mo ako hinabol?" She asked.
"Oh, bullshit naman, Jill!" I shouted and throw the flowers na hawak hawak ko. "Naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo? Naririnig mo ba 'yang itinatanong mo sa akin? Bakit hindi kita hinabol?" I laughed, a sarcastic one. "Bakit ka umalis in the first place?"
"Y/N.."
"Alam mo ba kung.. kung gaano ko kailangan ng isang Jill nung gabing 'yon? Alam mo ba kung paano akong naghintay at umasa na darating ka?" I asked. "Alam mo ba kung gaano.. kung gaano kasakit, Jill na kung kailan kailangan kita, doon ka nawala?"
"Masyado akong stressed nung gabing 'yon, bub and.."
"And what, Jill? Sabihin mo naman, oh. Mababaliw na kasi ako kakaisip ano bang kulang sakin? Ano bang mali sa akin?"
"Wala, Y/N walang mali at kulang sayo,"
"Then what?" she still couldn't talk. "Ah, wow," natawa ako sa naisip ko at napatingin naman siya. "You were so stressed that night and Ivan gave you the comfort that you need, right?"
"Bubb-"
"You were so stressed and alam mong hindi ko mabibigay sayo 'yong comfort dahil hindi rin ako okay non at sa kaniya mo nahanap 'yon. Tama ba, Jill?"
Yumuko siya.
"Am I right, Jill!?" I shouted at hinampas 'yong mesa.
Still, wala akong natanggap na sagot.
Napaluhod ako sa sobrang panghihina, doon ako umiyak nang umiyak at tinakpan ang mukha ko gamit ang mga kamay ko.
I felt Jill did the same at niyakap ako.
Wala na akong lakas para magpumiglas mula sa pagkakayakap niya.
Her hug, it's not giving me comfort anymore. It's giving me so much pain.
"You once said before that I am your pahinga," I said and I felt her nodded.
"You are, bubby. Ikaw ang pahinga ko,"
I lifted my head and looked at her.
"Pero bakit imbes na sa akin ka magpahinga.. sa kaniya ka pumunta?"
"Bubby, mahal pa rin kita,"
"Tama na,"
"Mahal na mahal pa rin kita,"
"Tapos na,"
She stopped for a moment.
"Pwede pa ba?"
Dahan dahan akong umiling. "Hindi na,"
"Ikaw pa rin, Y/N."
"Bitaw na, Jill."
Bawat salitang binibitawan ko ay nagiiwan ng marka sa puso ko. Masakit din para sa akin pero this is what we both need.
Closure.
"Hindi na ba talaga puwede? Hanggang dito na lang ba?
"Hanggang dito na lang tayo,"
"Bibitawan kita," she said. She cupped my face and made me look at her. We both look like a mess dahil kanina pa kaming umiiyak. "I just want to hear those words from you mismo,"
"The what?"
"Na hindi mo na ako mahal at hindi na ako,"
I gulped. Mas lalo kaming naiyak pareho.
Finally, this is it.
"Jill,"
She hummed as an answer and smiled at me.
"Hindi na ikaw," I whispered. She closed her eyes. "Hindi na kita mahal,"
She nodded and opened her eyes.
"Pinapaubaya na kita,"
She slowly leaned towards me and I felt her kissed my forehead.
I smiled, a genuine one while she's still kissing me.
Nakuha ko na ang mga dahil sa lahat ng bakit.
I finally got the peace of mind I craved for a very long time.
But my smile suddenly faded when I opened my eyes and saw someone standing behind Jill.
With tears coming out of her eyes.
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