《Guns and Giggles》4. Baker and Bossy
Advertisement
I woke up in the super comfy bed with a super comfy blanket on me. I think it's 9:00 AM because I usually wake up after 6 hours of sleep.
Last night's events rushed into my mind as my head started to ache a little by the streaks of sunlight streaming in.
I took a look around the room, still looks fancy as fúck.
I tied up my hair with the band I wore on my hand religiously. It's a life saver in situations like these.
Not that I get kidnapped on a daily basis.
Then I walked to the door that led to the hallway, casually picked out the bobby pin I hid in my hair and picked the lock.
I walked in the hallway wondering why are bobby pins called bobby pins? Why not Sarah pins? I'm sure not all Bobby's would need these pins...
I crossed a room which sounded empty, but was quite large judging by the distance between the two doors.
The second door was slightly open letting me peek inside. It was filled with cool looking gadgets and a LOT of computer screens. It had a cool geeky vibe with the shady beeps and noises from those screens. It also had a midnight black couch with the massage thing inbuilt, just like the ones Joey from Friends bought for him and Chandler.
The most interesting thing there was, was a whole shelf of cool looking spectacles and shades. I tried one out of curiosity and Damn! I looked good! Obviously because it hides the Prada and Gucci bags I have under my eyes. Right one's Gucci.
Something told me it was Zach's room.
But it still wasn't the kitchen so I moved on.
The next room opposite to it was occupied judging by the noises. A girl was trying to stay longer than her invitation and an irritated man was making excuses. Definitely Steve.
Advertisement
I moved ahead looking at the ridiculous things people call modern art on the hallway to the last room.
Someone was watching the movie Fast and the Furious and light snores could be heard. This room was the closest one to the greenery outside the Mansion and had a grey-ish vibe to it. Yes I peeked. It was Michael's.
Finally I found the exit to the what seemed like the West wing of The Beast and looked for the kitchen. Dear Nose now's the time to shine.
I can smell nature. Nope not food.
I can smell faux leather. Coat room, still no food.
I can smell pool table, old CDs, books, bread, old people soap, detergent, Wait a minute back up! Bread.
Yes! I found the kitchen.
What I entered looked like the back door to the pantry with veggies and meats and stuff. I moved ahead and found a fridge with cheese slices which I gladly took. Along with some chocolates and cookies.
As they say: Never leave chocolate behind.
Or maybe it's just me.
I went in a huge Kitchen with all the newest appliances a chef could wish for. My mom would love it here.
Mmmm...Bread...
I found a short lady in the kitchen cooking something with an apron on with skulls all over it. Her black hair dyed red on the ends. Oxidized Peircings peeking over her ears and a stay away from me vibe in general.
But will I stay away? No.
"Hey! It smells good what are you making?" I asked in a mildly squeaky voice.
"Go away" the lady said without even turning back. Rude.
"Is that bread roll? Or maybe puffs out of fresh dough?" I asked peeking over her shoulder.
She suddenly took her knife and brought it close to my nose and turned around "Get the fúck out of my kitchen! It's off limits."
Advertisement
Although I had a knife in my face my attention was solely on the food.
"Ooo! Bread rolls! You know what these smell AMAZING! So did you soak these in water? My mama soaked them first to make them more crunchy!" I said enjoying the aroma in the kitchen.
"Who are you?" The woman said with a hint of Spanish accent, scrunching her eyes and looked at me head to toe while taking the knife down.
"Oh! I'm Ariana, I was recruited when I helped kill the Snake Head rat who snuck here! Those are some nasty people! They hired me recently and I just shifted here. Unfortunately my bag got lost at the airport hence the attire." I sighed faking exhaustion and picked up some rolls to taste them.
"Anyways what's you name? If you too have some name fetish I can call you Best Chef No. 2, because obviously mama is first, but I have to say If I was First Place, you would be too close for comfort, if you know what I mean." I said taking some more bites.
The mom card always pleases the ladies.
"Damn these are so good you could sue KFC!" I moaned.
"I'm Feyona" she said with a small smirk. "Did your mama teach you her No. 1 award winning dishes?" She asked with a glint in her eyes.
"Oh I can't cook for shit, that's out of range for me, and it ain't happening anytime soon, nope nuh uh, nada!" I said shaking my head negatively.
"No no no, A Woman must know how to cook!" She gasped, her hands on her waist. Looking disappointed.
"See that's where you are wrong, A woman must know how to get someone to cook for her." I sassed.
"Ah but I can bake!" I exclaimed.
"You know I had this bakery near my house where my mom and I would go for our weekly dessert. One day they introduced Chocochip Chocolate Cake and my love for chocolate convinced mom to get me that. But me being me I said the owner, who was a friend of my mom, that it wasn't upto the mark and it was shit. So they both laughed at 7 year old me and asked 'what's wrong with it?', and when I said everything, that's when the owner got kinda angry. So she said why don't I bake a better cake than her, so I did make it, it was definitely better than her's and even I ate half of it!" Ah the good ol' days.
"If you are as good as you say, why don't you bake some for me and I'll be the judge for it." Feyona said slightly smiling.
"I accept the challenge mi lady" I bowed to her making her laugh.
Maybe I can use my cake to please everyone I met last night so they approve of me and I'll get to stay longer!
"But first go freshen-up and change your clothes, take the third door to the right and ask Mia to lend you some clothes, tell her Fae sent you." She spoke to me in a strict motherly way.
I made the lady with a knife turn into a motherly figure, haha! I must be awarded the Most Manipulative Bitch of the Year award!
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Advertisement
- In Serial54 Chapters
Our Goddess
Akari Mamori is a huge fan of Shintoism, from its modern practice to its ancient legends. As much as she’d love for those fantastical myths to be true, Akari doesn’t put too much stock in stories of gods and spirits with human-like forms and magical powers. Until she meets a genuine goddess and gets recruited into her harem! Rated Mature for a lesbian polyamorous harem, periodic nudity, and occasional sexy times! (no explicit on-screen sex at this time)
8 232 - In Serial575 Chapters
Legend of the Empyrean Blacksmith
LEGEND OF THE EMPYREAN BLACKSMITH After being kicked out of the orphanage due to turning 15, Lino finds himself stranded on the streets. With motivation to become the best blacksmith in the world, he seeks to become a disciple of the Bridge Village's best blacksmiths, only to be kicked out of all of them. He soon finds himself roaming the streets aimlessly on an empty stomach, jobless, peniless and homeless. After hiding himself in an alley when night fell, the reality finally catches up to him - he was truly alone. Yet, morning come, he is greeted by a knee of an old man who, after beating him for sleeping in the old man's 'backyard', takes him in. Finally being given a helping hand, he clutches tightly onto it, becoming the old man's disciple and learning the ways of the crafting, naturally while flirting with the old man's wife in his free time. Little did he know that this encounter would spark an adventure that would take him to the heights he never believed even existed, and would let him meet people he'd only read about in the books. It's a story of Lino - an orphaned child who would come to be known by many names, but only one that he'd ever truly accept: Empyrean Blacksmith. Release schedule: 3 times a week (Mon, Wed, Fri) If you want to further support me, you can visit my Patreon page: BeddedOtaku Patreon You can find the glossary here. It's currently incomplete but I do update it once in a while.
8 410 - In Serial30 Chapters
Post War Rules
Life on Torus Terminal is usually fast paced, but simple. A frontier Terminal has little room for easy living, but the great, circular station does boast shopping and culinary experiences from many Imperial races and cultures. Any star is, by its nature, extremely far from its neighbors. But laser highways, and the great shimmering sails of the light-rider spaceships make the trip into only about ten years. Still, the denizens of Torus Terminal eagerly await the day when the Anti-Euclidean Engine their station is built around finally comes online. Once that is done, they will have unfettered access to the entire Empire. Instantaneous travel and trade across hundreds of stars. Torus Terminal does boast one other oddity: a creature which calls itself Human. As he says, the last of his kind for now. He has made quite the life for himself on Torus Terminal, especially in the darker corners of the station. The elites of Torus Terminal praise his name, for once he took up arms, crime began to fall. What they did not realize was that was because he had claimed the seedy underbelly of Torus Terminal for himself and his own goals. The elites praise him as a paragon of law. The criminals fear him as a ruthlessly clever crime boss. Those closest to him, know him as the General. This story was originally posted on the Humanity Fuck Yeah subreddit, where it evolved from a simple play on a historical figure in a science fiction setting into a full blown space opera. I kind of took it as an opportunity to explore a setting I've had rolling around in my head for years. I also decided that it would be nice to have it in a place where I could more easily come back and edit it later, so I'm reposting it here. Here's a link to the original posting if you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/e9cwpl/post_war_rules/ If my genre and tagging is subpar, let me know. I'm still new to Royal Road and I'm open to help. Feel free to comment and make suggestions, or discuss. I love comments, and so long as we keep things civil I also love criticism.
8 116 - In Serial28 Chapters
Apostate Konstantin
The world is different now. Darker. Much has become a desert, permanently poisoned by radioactive fallout. Nature has reclaimed the rest. Humanity endures, barely, in underground refuges and fortified city-states. It is a time of great hardship. As if that wasn’t enough, mankind is now beset by a new horror. Witches. Twisted beings of unimaginable power, these fell creatures stalk the night, preying upon the battered remnants of humanity. Only one mysterious organization has the will to defy their unnatural menace. They are the protectors of the righteous. They are the arbiters of justice. They are the Inquisition. Chief amongst these Holy Crusaders is Inquisitor-Brother Frederick Konstantin. This is the story of his fall.
8 165 - In Serial11 Chapters
Adventure With A System
Dexter Hargreeves is a 18 year old boy. Dexter is a very intelligent person, and always rational. His dad is a billionaire and spoils him, but he didn't waste the money he was given on materialistic items, because he had everything. So one day when he was 13 he decided to use his $1,000,000 allowance and donate it to an orphanage. He kept doing this and he gained goo karma, that wasn't even believed to be possible for this world. One day he had just gotten out of school, and he was reading one of his favorite novels he had saved on his phone as he walked home, and the notorious Truck-kun hit him. Dexters soul sat in a dark place for 10,000 years, but for him it felt like 1. The gods saw this, and it was their fault in the first place he got hit, because they were playing with Hot Wheels to see why kids liked them, and he got hit. They felt bad so they gave him a reward. Which was 10x his original karma, and 10 wishes. After they gave it to him they realized he already had 1,000,000,000,000 karma. So now he had 10 zillion. Join Dexter on his adventures into the world of Isekai, and his own OverPowered system. (This is my first Novel, and I'm doing this for experience, so please bare with me, and let me know what im doing wrong, and how I can improve. Also if you want some...18+ pages ;) just tell me and I'll try my best.)
8 155 - In Serial11 Chapters
Dreaming of adventure, I ran away
Dex is a young college graduate. After enduring years of longing for adventure and becoming a hero, he runs away from home to the island nation of Arasia. There he is taken under the care of Ernesto and Miki who run a bar in the city. After spending some time with them, an incident within his "foster" family occurs that will bring him closer to the adventure he longed for. As he progresses down the rabbit hole, he discovers the darkness of the island and what really brought him there.
8 201

