Jeongin's POV

«You're not worth my time" My mom hissed

All I wanted was for her to buy me a carton of chocolate milk. That was all I needed. She had just asked me and my siblings if we wanted anything from the grocery store. Guess I wasn't included in the deal.

I wasn't worth anyone's time, really. Don't know why I even bothered trying anymore. Neither her or dad wanted anything to do with me.

All I had was myself. -Whom I hated. I've been my own supporter the last few months. But I couldn't keep the spirit anymore. I hated everything about me, and everyone around me. Why did I have to turn out this way? Why couldn't God put this curse on someone else.

I wanted to rip my thoughts and feelings out.

When I first decided to tell my family about it, nothing could've prepared me for their reactions. I had kept the weight on my shoulders for years. There was this snippet of hope that my family would accept it. Or at least help me with it. But everything went downhill.

I'm given the bare minimum of everything now. The bare minimum food and the bare minimum education. I'm sure my parents will throw me out of this house as soon as I turn eighteen.

As much as I wanted to do my best and have my own mindset, it wasn't easy. They hated the people who were like me. Called them useless sinners.

'They're disgusting." They said "There was no Adam and Adam. Only Adam and Eve"

And their words grew on me. I started believing what they said. That was the only option I had. Eventually, I went into complete denial. I believed it was all just a phase, and that my mind was trying to fuck with me.

I became my biggest hater.

Deep inside, I knew it wasn't gone. But I liked to believe so. My parents also started hating me a bit less. Well, at least they started treating me like a person. Still nowhere near how my siblings were treated.

_____

I was never given the opportunity to have fun and be social. My siblings were allowed to do things like going to the cinema or theme parks with friends, but I wasn't. Until my parents handed me a letter with a large writing from 'Saeville christian Bible Camp'

I opened it, and there was a paper sheet explaining everything I needed to know about the camp. The best part was, my name was on it. ''

For one whole month, I'd be able to meet new people, learn new stuff, and be social. I bursted with excitement. Apparently the camp was near the sea AND the forest. There was a huge field to play on as well!

I was finally able to have fun again.

The only thing I didn't really go over on the sheet was what we weren't allowed to bring. As I was packing my bag, I put my phone in without much thought.

Luckily, none of the camp teachers found out, and I didn't get in any trouble.

My heart was filled with joy when my dad drove me to the camp. My mom even said bye, and wished me good luck.

The most exciting part was when they announced who my roommate would be.

Kim Seungmin

I had never heard his name before, but I was looking forward to meeting him.

Days went by, and I collected more and more friends. We became a group. Suddenly, I had forgotten everything bad.

I decided to lie, and tell one of my friends that I sneaked my phone in on purpose. I even let him use it to call a friend. Little did I know, that decision would change my mood for the rest of the month.

I was always pretty nosy. I had a great eyesight, and my hearing was even better. With that, I overheard what he and his friend said over the phone.

"Are there any handsome guys there?"

"Haha, to be honest, yeah."

At first I didn't think much of it. I was suspicious of course, but I could have been a misunderstanding. I decided to keep some distance from him, but let him be.

Not much time went by before I got a couple messages from an unknown number. The first message said something about a game called bedwars. I assumed they had the wrong number and didn't answer. But then I got another one.

"Felix, call me back" it said

I quickly understood that it was the person Felix had called. Out of complete curiosity and interest, I didn't notify him about it. Maybe I'd get more to the conversation I heard earlier.

Later that day, I knew all I needed;

(420) *** *** **

Sent 22:05

(420) *** *** **

🤣

Sent 22:08

___

I couldn't believe my eyes. I felt disgusted. There had been a gay person in our friend group all this time. Not only that, but he was hitting on another guy in the group?

Shivers were sent down my spine. I was sick. I had to do something about it. No way I would let this slide.

Many ideas were popping up in my head. I considered telling everyone about it immediately, but i also wanted to have some fun. Some control over him.

I had to live up to my parents. They'd be proud knowing the hatred I felt against those type of people now.

I truly hated gay people. I really did. I wished everything bad upon them.

I also still hated myself obviously. Because I knew. I knew, and I hated that I knew. Hated it so bad.

The only way I could cope was to spread the hate I had for myself to the people who were like me. Felix became the victim.

I finally felt like I had some sort of power. Like he was scared of me. I threatened him as bad as I could. Trying my best to keep him on the edge. The power I had over him felt great.

Power was all I needed. The feeling of breaking out of my shell. Knowing the rest of the boys were on my side was also great. Nobody on this camp liked gay people.

Of course I decided to tell Hyunjin about it first, as he was involved already. Seeing him build disgust for Felix was an accomplishment I never knew I needed.