Fuck

My heart kept aching as I walked to the room. I shouldn't feel bad, but god damn I felt so bad in this moment.

I had to apologize right? But how? That's probably one of the only times he's heard me talk to the guys lately. He must think this is how I normally talk about him.

I didn't bother taking a shower. I washed my hair and face in the sink, and changed to my pyjamas.

My palms started getting sweaty as soon as I heard the door open.

Felix casually walked in avoiding eye contact with me, and went straight to the bathroom.

I was left alone sitting on my bed. I heard him turn on the shower, so I knew he wouldn't be out for a while.

I found my Nintendo DS and started playing Mario cart while waiting for him to get done. I did win all the rounds, but that didn't help calming me in any way whatsoever.

The shower turned off, and the sink was turned on. He was most likely washing his face or brushing his teeth.

I looked over at his bed. Wait. Isn't that his pyjamas? He must've forgotten to bring it with him-

My thoughts were instantly cut off when Felix came out the bathroom door with nothing but a towel around his waist.

He was bare faced, had wet hair, and a body covered in damp.

Normally I wouldn't care much, but for some reason, my eyes were glued to him. Wow

My eyes followed his movements as he went and picked up his pyjamas from the bed. Once again, he didn't make any eye contact with me. He closed the bathroom door behind him like I wasn't there.

When he walked out wearing his pyjamas, I was ready to talk to him.

"Hey" I said quietly, as he went towards his bed.

He actually looked over at me. I could feeling my cheeks getting red again. Probably due to not knowing what to say.

-"you know, I just.." I tried pushing out a sentence. But he wasn't breaking eye contact and I was getting nervous.

"Go on" he said

He wasn't saying it in a fun way. His eyes were still missing that little light. He's never looked at me like this. He looked genuinely hurt.

"Im sorry" i mumbled.

"And for?"

"I know you heard what I said earlier"

"You think I'm suprised?"

He broke the eye contact, and sat down on his bed.

"I swear I don't usually talk about you like that" I said desperately trying to get Felix to understand.

He sighed.

"I'll get the light" he said

His voice sounded dissapointed.

"No, I'll get it-" I said.

I stood up, but Felix was already turning it off.

I couldn't see much of him in the dark, but enough to look him In the eyes.

"I don't know why I said that" I said

He didn't reply.

-"I'm sorry"

"Forget it" he said

My heart ached so bad the rest of the night. I'm such an idiot.

_______

Next day

Felix wasn't in the mood this morning. Understandable. I tried lightening up the mood a bit, but nothing worked. He was back to the boring and quiet Felix. I wanted to apologize so bad. The sentence repeated In my head.

"Oh fuck off, you know i hate that gay fag"

"Oh fuck off, you know i hate that gay fag"

"Oh fuck off, you know i that "

I couldn't wrap my head around it. What person would say such thing about Felix? I mean, sure, i would've said it without hesitation a couple days ago, but after really getting to know him.. He just doesn't deserve it. He's a cool guy.

My parents had always told me that homosexuality was a bad thing. Of course it was. It's a sin.

Never in my life I thought I'd befriend a homosexual person. I always kept my distance, but, apparently they're not that bad. The more I talked to Felix, the less I cared that he was gay. I don't support his sexuality tho. But he's just something else.

_________

Two days went by, and Hyunjin hadn't given another attempt to apologize to poor Felix. You'd think Felix cared, but he was used to it by now. He wasn't totally fine with it, but he made himself accept it. Hyunjin on the other hand, cared much more than Felix.

Ten minutes couldn't go by without him feeling bad for Felix. He had to make up for it somehow, and he had to do it soon.