RECAP: (because you have most probably forgotten where we left off with the lack of updates!)

"Look, forget I said anything. I'll catch you later." She spoke with sad eyes and I felt an uncomfortable stab of guilt rush through me.

After that, she got up and hurried out of my room despite me calling her name to come back.

She didn't even turn around.

Which only left me with a familiar contact in my phone and a stream of messages that dared to be opened.

This message was longer than the others.

Infact, it took me a second to register the overwhelming amount of words that came in the one text.

This was nothing like the others.

It screamed urgency and whoever wrote it intended to hit a nerve with the mention of 'regret' and 'guilt'.

It ended with the line 'Don't misinterpret these dreams with reality. Wake up Ashton, she was never yours to take'

Despite the sincerity of the line, a laugh dared to escape me as I remembered what Becca had once messaged me 'who even uses caps anymore? don't even get me started on the comma' and this message was full of them in such a robotic style.

I didn't accept the dare though, as the message seemed final.

My fingers subconsciously began typing out questions at a million miles per hour on the digital keypad and it was only after I pressed 'send' that I noticed the red text beneath my message.

'This number no-longer exists'

So it was final... I believed as I exhaled and dropped the phone beside me, only to bite my inner cheek in frustration and firmly pick it up again to launch it against my bedroom wall.

It was sometime whilst I sat, watching the screen shatter, that Becca re-entered the room.

Her hair was now up in a bun and she was dressed in one of my longer shirts that stopped mid-thigh.

My eyes softened at first but immediately hardened when I remembered what the message claimed.

'Never yours to take' the words repeated in my head, thrashing around like a pounding headache that was too stubborn to leave.

"Ashton what happened?" She asked and I could see the fear in her eyes.

In that moment, our eyes locked just like they did for the first time this summer. However, this time differed from then, she almost looked scared for me as she cautiously inched towards where I sat, among the shattered glass.

"Ashton. Answer me" She pleaded and I snapped my eyes away from her.

I had to look away.

No matter where my eyes searched now, they refused to focus and forced a permanent blur in my vision.

No matter what I did, I couldn't pretend anymore.

The truth was to come out and it would be as if Rebecca was never mine.

'Never yours to take' they boomed again.

"Please Ashton, look at me goddamnit." She raised her voice and I felt the bed dip beside me.

Through my blurred eyes, I gave in and took my last look at those beautiful thick curls of hers and remembered the way it sprawled across her face when she slept beside me.

I took my last look at her full-lipped smile and deep brown eyes, the ones that could read me like a book when I separated myself from the world.

I took my last look at the way her shirt rode up as she sat, exposing her soft tiger stripes that didn't tan in the powerful french sun. I loved the way she tried to cover them from me when I traced my finger across them and placed kisses along her skin.

I took my last look at the girl that I was made to believe that I was in love with.

But I am in love with her. I told myself, not comprehending the possibility of Becca not really being mine.

And as I took that last look, I owed it to the both of us to not seperate myself from her or my emotions.

Not when I was going to say goodbye.

After a moment of silence, a passionate kiss wasn't what I expected to be pulled into.

Whilst our lips synced with eachothers, I almost forgot the tears that looked as if they were begging to fall from Ashton's cold eyes.

At that thought, I reluctantly pulled away from his trance to make sure that he was okay, however he only responded by kissing me with more hunger.

"Ashton." I whispered but ended up coming out more as a moan when his open-mouthed kisses traveled down my jawbone, neck and he pushed his strong body on top of mine.

"Shh I need you right now." And with that he was assisting me by pulling my shirt over my head as I did the same to him, my desire for him taking over my sane thoughts like a thick fog shielding the sunlight.

A thick, unbreathable fog that clouds my calculating brain.

Lust. That was my fog.

Within seconds, I was arching into his pleasuring touch and his fingers slipped into me.

My mouth shot open and his lips pressed into mine once again.

When we naturally broke apart for air, he whispered to me.

"You remember that don't you?" He grinned but I chose to ignore how his eyes remained so distant from the world.

I smirked in response and gripped his wrist before guiding it away from my shaking legs.

Ashton's grin dropped momenterally in questioning but I already had us flipped over and his shirt in my hands.

"You remember this, don't you?" I whispered back, my voice laced with power and authority as I wrapped his hands around the fabric.

"I would never forget it." He replied and I stopped my actions for a second and brought a fingertip to a stray tear on his cheek.

"Ashton, what is-"

"I would never forget us Becca." He paused and I met his eyes that had softened slightly since before.

"Never. I've always liked you, even when we were kids and would have fake weddings-" He took another pause to blink back some tears and clear his throat.

"I just want you to know that I never intended to hurt you. Ever. Because I love you. I love every fucking thing about you and it is driving me crazy thinking that this is what we could of had."

"B-." My voice croaked with the realisation of hot tears streaming down my face as I released his hands from the shirt. "But you haven't hurt me. I love you. I don't understand what is happening Ashton."

"But you will. And I'm so sorry because I was selfish and you deserve so much better.-" By this point Ashton had sat up and was lifting himself off the bed. "Why did you have to get on that fucking flight?" He spat as he hurriedly dug through his wooden draws to retrieve a pair of swim shorts.

"So that's it? You say you love me and tell me that you wish none of this had happened."

"Exactly." He said, eyes fixed on the doorframe.

"Pathetic. Ethan was right about you, you know." I scoffed and pulled my top back on before making my way out of the room.

This was until a hand pulled me backwards and pricked my skin with love.

I couldn't bear to turn around though, as my salt stained skin looked the complete opposite of the powerful and strong woman that I had portrayed just a minute ago.

Then, I swallowed hard and blinked up to the ceiling to control my anger but the hand, once again, took me by surprise.

Ashton's hand rubbed soothing circles on my stretch marks and I had to bring my lip between my teeth to stop myself from crying once again.

It was another reminder of how much I loved him.

But I was just a game to him.

Just another summer hookup that would easily be forgotten.

I should have known better.

I should have listened.

And before I could escape his hold and return to filling all of my belongings into a single suitcase, Ashton whispered once again.

"I would die for you Becca. If that is what it took for you to be mine. Because I love you. I promise it'll all make sense soon."

I couldn't take it anymore.

More word games.

More unanswered questions.

"I promise." He said once more as I slammed the bathroom door in his face like I did on my first day living with the Miles family, before proceeding to slide down against the wall.