Donna: i'm pregnant it's yours

Billy: me too

* Donna left the groupchat *

Vance: since when was she in here

Bruce: did she even go to detention with us

Robin: WHO THE HELL WAS SHE TALKING TO

Robin: GWEN WHAT DID YOU DO

Gwen: ME?!?!?!

Finney: YEAH YOU

Gwen: ARE YOU GUYS FR

Gwen: THATS NOT POSSIBLE??

Robin: WHY NOT

Gwen: LOOK IT UP

Robin: NO GOOGLE COMES UP WITH SCARY IMAGES

Gwen: JUST DONT PRESS ON IMAGES

Robin: THATS WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY SINGLE TIME YET I ALWAYS END UP ON IMAGES

Vance: yeah okay one sec

Vance: 9786858800

Robin: what the hell is that

Vance: call it and they'll help you with your problems

Robin: I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM

Gwen: you're right you have problems

Gwen: plural

Vance: robin are you seeing someone

Robin: no i'm single

Robin: but you aren't exactly my type

Vance: I MEANT A THERAPIST.

Robin: OH

Billy: CAN WE GO BACK TO WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE

Griffin: yeah i don't think i can watch dumb and dumber talk anymore

Vance: am i dumb or dumber

Griffin: dumbest

Finney: i bet it was bruce

Bruce: now you know good and well that's not possible

Robin: yeah bruce you've been awfully quiet

Bruce: I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS

Billy: you should really stop doing that it always gets you in trouble

Bruce: that's sadly true

Billy: everything I say is true Bernice

Billy: Bruce

Bruce: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME

Vance: who the hell is Bernice

Finney: sounds french

Robin: you know nothing about french

Finney: AND YOU DO???

Vance: tbh this seems like something finney would do

Finney: woah now

Finney: IM ONLY 13

Griffin: i guess we'll just have to wait until the stork delivers the baby and ask it

Finney: yeah

Griffin: oh i was joking

Vance: OH NO.

Billy: this is significantly worse than Bruce believing in Santa Claus

Bruce: I still haven't forgiven you guys for that

Vance: I'll make it up to you

Robin: GET A ROOM.

Gwen: GAG??

Billy: BOO TOMATO TOMATO

Finney: I'm confused

Vance: okay who's going to tell him

Billy: gwen is his sister

Gwen: I GOTTA GO BYE!!

Billy: I WAS GOING TO SAY SO YOU SHOULDNT HAVE TO DO IT

Gwen: bless your soul

Billy: I'm pretty sure Bruce doesn't know either

Bruce: know what

Vance: nothing sweetheart go back to playing with your legos

Griffin: LEGOS

Billy: NO GRIFFIN

Griffin: I LOVE LEGOS

Billy: YOU WERE DOING SO WELL

Griffin: I need legos

Billy: Griffin has a lego addiction

Billy: when we were little and our parents would let us play together he used to eat them

Finney: how'd they taste

Billy: THATS NOT A GOOD QUESTION TO ASK

Griffin: like heaven

Finney: woah now I wanna try

Vance: ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME.

Billy: you tell him Vance

Vance: NO WHAT

Billy: YOURE THE OLDEST

Vance: YOU AND BRUCE ARE LIKE A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN ME

Billy: i have that thing to do

Bruce: yeah and I have that other thing to do

Vance: ROBINS HIS BESTFRIEND

Robin: WOW I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE TO GO TO HELP BRUCE AND BILLY WITH THAT THING

Vance: what thing

Robin: bruce has a baseball game

Bruce: my game is on tuesday

Robin: no it's not brucey let's go

Billy: i'll meet you guys there!!

Vance: you're all a bunch of liars

Vance: I'll get all three of you back for this

Gwen: well you and finney have fun 😁

Finney: have fun doing what

Vance: i won't do this

Finney: DO WHAT

Vance: Finney where do babies come from

Finney: a stork

Robin: oh lord no

Finney: WHY ARE YOU GUYS ACTING SO WEIRD

Vance: there has to be a youtube video for this

Vance: there's a youtube video for everything

Robin:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Finney: i don't see a stork im not watching that

Bruce: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH

Vance: THAT WAS NOT FOR YOU

Billy: ROBIN WHY WOULD YOU CHOSE THAT VIDEO

Robin: IDK I DIDNT WATCH IT THROUGH

Griffin: now i'm curious as to what it is

Bruce: no you aren't

Finney:

Finney: look there's a stork i knew it

Finney: no need to finish the video i know what's going to happen

Robin: well i tried vance now it's your turn

Vance: I DONT HAVE A BETTER WAY

Billy: ARENT YOU OLD AND ALL KNOWING

Griffin: what about vance could possibly make you think that

Gwen: this guy got held back like fourty different times

Vance: i don't appreciate this

Bruce: this conversation is making my head hurt

Billy: SOMEONE HAS TO TELL HIM

Vance: maybe we should just let him keep his innocence

Robin: probably

Vance: NAHHH

Robin: THAT WAS A FUNNY JOKE

Finney: LET ME KEEP MY INNOCENCE

Finney: PLEASE.

Vance: I feel like it's better if we tell you then someone in class

Robin: is it though

Vance: good point

Vance: good luck in the real world finney!

Gwen: is it over

Billy: yeah

Gwen: THANK GOD

Gwen: I COULDNT LIVE WITH YOU THINKING BABIES ACTUALLY CAME FROM STORKS

Finney: what

Robin: NO

Vance: WE DIDNT TELL HIM

Gwen: oh god

Finney: WHAT

Billy: NOW SOMEONE HAS TO TELL HIM

Robin: VANCE

Vance: watch the video Finney

Finney: NO.. BRUCE GOT TRAUMATIZED FROM IT I DONT WANT TO BE NEXT

Robin: BRUCE THOUGHT SANTA WAS REAL

Bruce: why does this keep getting brung up

Robin: its just too funny

Bruce: IS NOT.

Finney: IF BRUCE IS TRAUMATIZED FROM IT AND HE KNEW IMAGINE HOW I'LL REACT

Vance: good point

Robin: did bruce know though

Bruce: I DID KNOW.

Robin: uh huh..

Bruce: THIS IS NOT OKAY

Bruce: IM 14 WHY WOULDN'T I KNOW

Robin: because you thought santa was real

Bruce: DAMN IT

Vance: 👀

Billy: the real question is why do griffin and gwen know but not finney

Gwen: I was introduced to technology at a young age

Robin: that makes so much sense

authors note:

i'm updating this and possibly my other book later too 😱😱 i'm so proud of myself