"Think that we got more time when we are falling behind gotta make up our minds."

"Or else we'll play, play, play all the same old games..." Emma screamed the words of the song on top of her lungs. Jason and Damien said they have never listened to One Direction intentionally so she is making them listen to the whole album. What can I say I wasn't complaining.

"We are here." Damien says as we pass the 'Welcome' sign. Shivers ran through my body when I saw the familiar streets, I saw myself studying in my favourite coffee shop, the bench I used to read poetry, the park where Nini used to play, the lake where my few friends used to hang out, our high school, Zach's house, the street. The street where I crashed got my sister killed.

I can't breathe.

I'm getting choked.

"Stop the car," I tell. I am feeling trapped. I need air. Damien stops the car and I tremble out of the car, sweat soaking me.

"W -What's happening t-to me?" comforting hands patted my back and Damien held me.

"Lia, you are having a panic attack. I want you to listen to my voice," he tells me but I am feeling dizzy and I think I might fall any moment.

"I-I can't breathe." I tightened my grip on his arm.

"I know but I want you to listen to me okay?" I didn't answer him.

"Talk to me, Rhea."

"O-Okay"

"I am going to count and you are going to breathe with me. Okay?"

"Okay."

"One..." we breathe in and out until my dizziness eases and I felt myself calm back down.

"Where are you?" he asks bending down to my height.

"In my home town."

"Good. You are okay." he rubs my back and I lean against his chest.

"Look we can always go back if you don't want to."

"No. I want to stay." We didn't come all the way here just to turn around. I should be okay with this. I should embrace it. We get back inside the car and drove off to our hotel.

***

"I am taking the single room." Jennifer drags Emma from her backpack.

"No, you are not. You are sleeping with me." If Emma doesn't share the room with Jennifer, she would have to sleep with Jason which would be not good for her fake hatred towards Jason.

"Can we go to our room? please." I nod and we go into our room which is across from Jason's. He closes the door behind him and I noticed how big the room is with a king-sized bed and roof to floor window that leads to a balcony that would give out a beautiful view of the lake. Just as I open the window the cold air hit my face. I look into the water and good memories flash before my eyes. It won't take moments to turn those good memories into horrible ones so I snap out of it. Warm hands wrap around me and he nuzzled against my neck, placing wet hot kisses.

"We got fifteen minutes before we leave," he tells me.

"What will happen?" We have avoided the topic of what will happen if we don't get into the same universities. He says he would stay with me without going to college, but it does not work like that.

"Rhea, can we not-"

"No, we should." he sighed and let go of me and stood beside me, leaning against the railing.

"I never had hopes of going to college and I still don't. The only thing I care about right now is that I get to stay with you, through every single step."

"Damien, your life does not revolve around mine and my life doesn't revolve around yours. You should be able to stay without me even if it's for a little while." It might've been the fiftieth time I am telling this time but Damien is way too stubborn to believe it.

"I never saw a future and trust me I still don't either. But I see one thing that tomorrow I will wake up next to you and the other day then the other. I don't see a future because I already have my future in my hands. It's you. That is all that I see. You are all that I see." He cupped my cheek and wiped a tear away from my cheek.

"There will be a day that all of us will have to let go of everything and everyone. And, you should be okay with it." I point my finger at his chest and stare up at him.

"I won't think I will ever be okay with letting you go."

"This conversation is so fucking sappy," he tells and I let out a laugh.

"We should go now."

"We should."

***

I place the white flowers at his headstone and sat on the ground. Damien said he would leave me alone for a bit and I couldn't be grateful enough. I need this time alone with my brother.

"Hello, Noah. I wish I could hug you. Even though you hate my hugs but I wouldn't have cared. I would die to see you again, to hear your snarky comments at me, to hear your complaints. I would die for you to hate me again." my voice trembled. "Beleive it or not I miss you, so damn much because you are my brother and even though you never loved me I love you so much, I still do and I always will." I wipe my tears.

"You once told me that I would never find love, that no one would ever love me. I don't know why you said that but you did. Multiple times that I started believing it. But you were wrong and so was I. Someone loved me and he still does. I loved him and I always will. You told me I would never be happy but I am happy, more than ever. What sucks is that you are not here to see it and see how wrong you were. I guess I will always hate that part where you wished nothing but upheaval for me. But I promise my hatred would never outnumber the love I have for you."

"I want to ask you one thing but I know I would never get an answer. Why? Why did you say that? Why did you tell me that it's my fault? Because to this day, I might be happy but that scar given by you holds so much guilt which hurts and I think I will always be hurt. You left everyone with peace but you gave me a huge scar, a blame to carry with me that will cause war in my life for a long time because I can not think otherwise."

"If you ever regret saying that or if you never meant it know that I forgive you. After everything you have done to me, I will always forgive you." I trace the letters carved on the marble stone and wiped the dust covering it. I felt lighter like a heavyweight have been lifted off me. I accomplished my first step of making peace with my past. It's not much but It is something.

"Mom is getting married and I think she is happy. We are not on good terms but I hope she would come around. Dad... I don't know about father. He left us-"

"Mom is getting married?" an all too familiar voice that I once used to find comfort in cut me off. I knew he would be here, he had to. I get on my feet and turned around.

"Father." He has changed... a lot. There are more strands of white hair. He looked tired but father's charming looks are still there. I can't say if he is happy or not because of the stoic expression that he wears daily.

"Rhea, is she getting married?"

"It won't be your problem. After all, you were the one who left her remember?" I asked and walked a few steps towards him. He still looks at me the same way. My father still believes that it is because of me, his own daughter is why he lost his two children. He looks at me as if I am the murderer.

"Is she getting married or not?" he yelled.

"Yes, she is. Yes, mother is getting married after you left her for ruin. You left her alone to grieve her child. You don't know how much she changed after you left. You ruined her." I yelled back because I am not that girl anymore who will crumble down for his words.

"No. It was you. You ruined your mother. Your siblings, my children are dead because of you. You fucking ruined my family." I tumble back a few steps along with his aching words.

"You are wrong father," I said so quietly as if it was more of a whisper.

"No, I am not. You were selfish and jealous of-"

"That's enough!" Damien's voice wailed behind me. Father takes a few steps back and lets out a humourless laugh which was painful to hear.

"Oh, isn't that the little boy you snuck out for? You are no different from the rest. Makes you look so fucking disgusting going after a psychopath." father said with gritted teeth, his anger posing out.

"You have no right to talk to him like that," I tell walking towards him.

"I have every right to talk like that because you are my disgrace of a fucking daughter!" I couldn't tell anything else as Damien threw a punch at his face and he dropped down. Damien didn't stop, he gripped his collar and beat his face on and on again without stop. My father wasn't even fighting back. I knew I had to stop him when blood started staining my father's shirt. I gripped Damien's arm for him to stop.

"Damien, it's enough" he yanked my arm away and elbowed father in his stomach which cause him to cough out some blood. If he doesn't stop now there is a possibility that he would cause father some serious damage and I know my father wouldn't stay put about it.

"Please let him go," I softly.

"He can not talk to you like that!" Damien said getting up and facing me. He looked furious.

"I know. I actually do so please let's go back," I said cupping his cheek and held my hand nodding. I turned back around to look at my bleeding father one last time.

"I wouldn't mind if I never saw you again because all my life you had done nothing but put me down but I will never fall. One day you will come begging at my feet for forgiveness." I tell him and walked back to the car.

***

"We should watch a movie," I tell him and turned up the volume of the speaker.

"Anything for you love." Damien had been stroking my thigh since the time we got in the car because he knows that I need comfort right now but I feel like a huge weight have been lifted off my chest even though my father said some pretty painful things. Maybe it's because you have heard more brutal words and after all nothing could top been called a murderer by your own mother. What's crazy is that there are mothers whose children are actual murderers but they still would refuse to believe it because that is what mothers do; whatever it is they always want to see the best and the good in their children but it's not all mothers I guess.

I remove my coat and got out of the car just as we park in front of the cinema. I turned around to see Damien leaning against the car, with his arms crossed and his eyes wandering up and down my body. "What?"

"I didn't tell how fucking hot you are because you were visiting your brother's grave but I seriously want to throw you back in the car and rip that skirt off of you," he said walking towards me and tugging me towards him from the waistband of my skirt.

"Didn't know skirts make you that hard" I whispered against his mouth and wrapped my hands behind his neck.

"Wear a fucking garbage, I would be hard for you any day any time" he whispered back, pulling me closer as I felt his hard cock against my pussy which caused a pool of warmth in me.

I hate how easily he could get me wet.

Just as he leaned closer for a kiss I pulled away and walked back to the cinema with a smirk on my face.

We got popcorn and some candies and slid right at the back of the hall even though the first few minutes of the movie had already begun. I crossed my legs and pigged out the popcorn. Eating food had been easier I could say but it won't be great all at once especially when your body is already used to a less amount of food intake but now, Damien makes sure I eat all my meals and don't throw up after. Somedays he would sit around with me for hours if he had to make sure that I was taking all my food and, I hate it. I hate how worried he gets over me and I hate myself for giving him such a hard time and not to mention the number of times he had missed his races because of me. Well, about that, I went with him and Jason for the races which Jason already knew about and Damien somewhat convinced me that he would be okay, of course, I wasn't but it's his life and he should do what he wants to do and I am not going to be the one to limit his likings than he had already done for himself.

Damien had done way too many sacrifices for me and I know I could never repay him but as he would say 'just seeing my smile repays all of it and more,' but this boy deserves so much more than just a smile so I would spend the rest of my life to make him the happiest man ever.

"Watch the movie, Damien," I said as I felt his strong gaze at the side of my face since the time we got in here. "I am" he smirked.

"No, you are not. You are watching me not the movie." I turned my body towards him.

"Same thing." I turned back to face the screen with a small smile on my face but he took my hand and placed it on his hard cock. "You see that. It's all your fault," he whispered to my ear.

"No. It's your dick your problem." I crossed my legs tighter and gave my full attention to the movie, hiding my smile and the giddiness inside me.

"Fix it," he said as his hands went up from my knee to my thigh and under my skirt.

"What?" Damien's fingers meddled with the edge of my panties. His touch, hot against my skin and pooling more arousal than it already was.

"Get on my lap and cum on my dick, Lia" he whispered against my ear leaning closer. I gripped his hand, stopping it from moving under my panties because I know I would lose it... in a fucking cinema.

"No, there are people here."

"Won't be a problem. It's dark, loud and people are only two rows ahead." I shook my head even though my whole body is saying yes. Damien uncrossed my legs and parted them, while he slid two fingers up and down my clit. My chest heaving, dammit I can't do this.

"Fuck it," I said getting up from my seat and sat down on his lap, straddling him.

"I would love to hear you moan my name but I'd hate if someone interrupted us in the middle of my orgasm. So, keep it down, love." I unbuttoned his jeans and he lifted my skirt to my waist.

Damien hoisted himself and took his hard cock out and I lifted myself and placed the tip on my wet soaked core. We both groan in pleasure just as he fully entered into me. He gripped my hips as I thrust in and out of him. My pussy clenched around his dick and Damien slammed his lips on mine just as I was about to let out a moan. I twirled my hips and he grabbed my ass, tugging me closer.

I let out a moan to our kiss as he softly bit my lip and I trusted faster and harder, sweat cloaking our bodies. Damien moved his sand from my ass and slid it under my top to massage my boob. "Fuck," he moaned against my skin, trailing kisses from my jaw to the base of my neck and I cover my mouth on his shoulder to muffle my moans. My teeth dug into his skin through his shirt reaching the climax of my orgasm. "Are you close?" I nodded unable to open my mouth if so the whole cinema would know what the fuck is happening back here.

"Good girl." He rammed into me hitting my g-spot and we both came undone as his cum filled up in me and I lifted my head panting and heaving.

A smile verged up both our faces and he slipped out of me, kissing me.

"That was amazing" Damien whispered against my mouth and slid up my panty and stood up from his lap.

"I think we should go," I tell him.

"Oh, we should."

A/N - SO, I FOUND DAMIEN&RHEA'S SONG. IT'S 👇🏽

IF THERE IS ANY OTHER SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF THEM PLEASE COMMENT OR LMK :)

FOR READING!!

-PEACE