The warm water trickling down my hair to my spine, warming down my whole body. Without knowing I found myself scrubbing my arms which was held by a man who I didn't know and someone who touched me without my permission. I had that fear of what if.

What if, Damien wasn't there.

What if, I didn't fight even for a brief moment before my body gave in.

What if, he hurt Damien.

The 'if' possibility was very apprehensive. It brings out constant worry and the feeling that you were saved by a thin line.

I turn out of the faucet and got out of the bath. My clothes were left plainly folded on the counter, I dry myself and got dressed in some faded mom jeans and a cropped summer vest camisole. I walk out of the bathroom to see Damien still asleep. I wouldn't dare to wake him since this is the most amount of sleep he had in three days. Jason was bought home last night and for all those days Damien had stayed in the hospital with Lily. I wasn't alone in this big ass house, Emma and Jennifer were kind enough to keep me company and for those days we knew more about each other. From knowing that Jennifer's father is the town pastor and her mother is fully devoted to the church but they know nothing about how rebellious their one and only child is and that she's originally a blonde but she changes her hair colour like the seasons, to know that Emma has three brother's and one stepbrother which makes her the only girl in the family. Well, me on the other hand kept most parts of my story untold and mentioned that my elder brother was shot dead, my younger sister died of a car crash and my parents are divorced. All of us hadn't been going to school since Jason was admitted, which was a snag because we would be graduating as seniors in a few months and attendance had been taken into consideration strictly. So, we thought of going back to school on Monday since it's the end of the week anyway.

I lean on the door frame and admired the beauty in front of my eyes. The slight light coming out from the window fell right at Damien's uncovered back as the sheets only fell up to his hips. His arms were buried under the pillow and that dark brown hair fell messily on the clear white pillow. A little frown took over his face and that's something I've observed a lot. Most of the time he sleeps he has a little frown on his face like his eyebrows drew slightly closer but he looked adorable either way. I walked up to Damien and planted a small kiss on his cheek and just as I leaned back up he caught my wrist pulling me back down. Didn't know he was this much of a light sleeper. I tried to move my hand from his hold thinking that he would've fallen asleep again but instead, he held tighter. I stay like that for a moment until Damien's grip let loose. Letting out a small sigh I lift myself from him to be pulled back to bed. As soon as my back hit the bed his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me closer. I close my eyes and mentally curse at myself.

I turned my body towards Damien as his eyes were still closed but a little smirk crept his face.

"Please sleep" I whispered but I doubt he heard even though we were so close to each other.

"Are you going to make me sleep and go meet your other side whores?" he whispered back and I let out a laugh. "That was the plan". He snuggled in and buried his face in the crook of my neck which made me tickle.

"I was serious Damien," I tell. "Me too" he mumbled against my neck.

"No. I'm not going to meet side whores" I tell and ran my hand in his hair removing the pieces of hair falling on his forehead. God has really taken his time on this one.

"Then sleep with me" he whispered and his hot breath hit the most sensitive parts on my skin, behind my ear and it sent chills down my body. And, to top it all, that deep morning voice actually makes me feel insecure keeping next to this hot mess. Damien lifts his head from my neck as if he heard my thoughts. "What's wrong?" he asked. Fuck, did I say that out loud?

"N-nothing. Nothing is wrong" I tell giving him a sheepish smile. "ah ah, wrong answer try again" I tried to get away from his hold hoping to run away so I won't have to utterly embarrass myself. Damien lied on top of me, holding his weight on his arms, caging me. I had no choice but to look at his confused but hella attractive face. "Lia?" I closed my eyes and kissed him bringing his face down. Damien brought his hand to my thigh and pulled away. "that's rude" I told him.

"What's wrong?" he asked again and god, someone help me. I am never like this. I tell what's on my mind without the fear of embarrassment or whatnot but this is different. How can anyone tell that you feel insecure about yourself when you have a really beautiful and sexy boyfriend right next to you. Wait! he's not even my boyfriend. Hold on!

"Why the hell would I say what's on my mind? After all, we are just friends right?" Dammit, I feel like a thirteen-year-old girl trying to get a confession out of a boys mouth. "Right!" was his simple answer.

"Exactly! so I wouldn't say it."

"Does it really seem like we are friends?". No, but what are we? I wanted to ask but nope I am not that person who obsess over titles and I know I sound like a total hypocritical bitch right now.

"Pretty much is and friends do not lie on top of each other"I pat his shoulder to get off me and unfortunately he does. Fuck. As much as I hate it I play along so I get off the bed. "And, friends do not snuggle," I tell air quoting the word 'friends'. Damien got off from the bed and now standing on the opposite side of me. His, black basketball shorts hung low on his hips displaying those perfectly sculptured abs that are drool-worthy but he wasn't so muscular but a little bit yes which was glory in front of my eyes. The display of his little tattoos making him so fucking hot. And, I realised that I have to be staring at his body for way too long that Damien cocked one of his eyebrows and I snap out of the image of a literal greek God right in front of my eyes. "Friends do not live together," I tell walking away from the bed and I felt him following me. I turn around to be met with his bare chest just a few steps ahead of me. "Friends..." I try to think of something but my mind was clogged on how close he was. "Friends do not stand so close" I whispered as my back hit the bookshelf and he places his hand on the top shelf and his other hand went up from my thigh to my waist then under my top. His thumb caressing my bare skin. "friends do not touch like that" I tell and Damien brings his mouth so close to mine but never touching my lips.

"I am going to fuck the word friends out of your mouth if you don't shut up," he said against my lips and I tried my best not to show him what his words did to my body nor how embarrassingly wet I was.

"What is wrong Rhea?" he asked his question again not moving a single inch away from me. I guess this is the time that I give in so I drop my head and let out a sigh. "You're hot okay" I admitted.

"Okay," he said with a little laugh and as I try to move away he pushed me back to right in front of him. Damien looked at me as he obviously wanted me to elaborate more. "You are so freaking hot and it is unfair like come one look at you and then look at me" I blurted oh God, I did not mean to say all that.

"Are you implying that you are jealous of me?"

"Yes!" I tell without thinking. "Fuck. No" I want to mentally stab myself. Dammit, Rhea control your mouth for a second. Damien let out a laugh so I take that opportunity to get away from his hold and never look back but he was too quick to pull me back into the initial position.

"Rhea. You are the most beautiful person that I ever laid my eyes on and not even for a second you should feel insecure. It actually makes me sad that you think like that, but sweetheart I would kiss every square inch of your body. All your stretch marks, all your scars and every single bit of it that makes you so insanely and unbearably hot. I would worship this beauty in front of my eyes for the rest of my fucking life." I couldn't even let his words sink in but it hit me enough that I wanted nothing more than to kiss the hell out of this man. He deepens our kiss as he lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist. Damien carried me to the bed and softly placing my head on a pillow never breaking our kiss. I felt his hands move up inside my top and our passionate kiss ushered to a hot make-out session.

***

I walk up to Jason's room, taking his dinner. The boy pretends like he's severely injured just so that we would bring everything to his doorstep. Well, this is going to be the last time he's going to be spoon-fed. I just walk without knocking for the third time. Just, as I walked in I was hit with the strong smell of marijuana and smoke fogging his whole room. Of course, he would get high, locked up in his room. "Dinner's here couch potato" I called out swinging my hands to decipher my way through the smoke.

"Oh thanks, sis" for some reason he had started calling me sister since I've been living here and I'm not complaining but he used to call me 'babe' most of the time.

"Why are you calling me sis?" I asked and plop down on the bed.

"Your mans and my so-called stepbrother made sure that I have no interest in you and I told him that you are a sister to me. So, he told me to act like it or else he'll out me to Lily plus 'sis' has a nice ring to it" he explained and of course, Damien had some part in it. I saw how uncomfortable and how much he wanted to strangle Jason whenever he called me babe. That's Damien for you. Arrogant, envious, keen about what's his and fucking dirty. These reasons make me wrap around his finger like a little kid.

"you better step out of this-" I looked and pointed around the room "hotbox". He lets out a small laugh and started digging up his food and he points his weed bud towards me and I take it. Well, it has been some time that I had any sort of drug in my mouth. Not true. I've had the most addictive drug around me these days trailing his hands all over my body. He and I both see the sexual frustration going on but for some reason, Damien never leads our make-out sessions nor dry fucking into something more like sex. And, no matter how turned on I am, I'm not gonna beg either.

"Why should I?" Jason asked as I take a long drag and exhaling the smoke. "Because no one is going to come to pamper you and you are going to school on Monday" I press the bud in the ashtray and got out of his bed to walk out.

"Just because I call you sis doesn't give the chance to go all big sister over me and I am older than you" he spoke loudly just as I exit the room. "Then act like it" I yelled back and laughed to myself.

I avoided going back downstairs because Jason's father Kevin had just arrived from his business trip and I would take all my chances to avoid him. Because A. he's scary, B. he doesn't give out a good vibe and C. I know enough about him from Jason just to keep my distance. I walk into our room... well Damien's room and opened the door softly just so that I don't wake him up and yes! I made him sleep. He was so hesitant about it but back rubs and head massages did the trick. I get inside and closed the door behind me. Damien was hugging my pillow and just like the look of it, he seems to be deep asleep. I look around the room to see it messy as ever; my clothes are still in the duffle bags and scattered all over the floor not to mention mixed with black dress shirts, ripped jeans and boxers lying around too. I was never a clean freak I mean I could handle a messy room but tidying up and cleaning makes me feel like not everything in your life is a complete mess. So, I pick up our clothes, sniffed them and threw out the ones that seemed like they were worn into the laundry bag. I folded the clean clothes and divided Damien's closet into two, putting his all-black clothes into one side along with two or three clean white dress shirts on one side and my dark coloured clothes on the other, all of them folded neatly. When the floor was all clear from clothes, I disposed the bits of crumpled up papers and cigarette buds lying around. Then walking back to the closet I sit on the floor and started clearing out my duffle bags. Emma had really gone grand and managed to put almost everything I wanted not to mention my scented candles that I'd totally need. Note the sarcasm.

Just as I was digging up the bags I felt a hand creep up my spine and I would've jabbed his face but I'm all too familiar with his touch and his presence that whenever his breath hits my skin I already know its the man that I am oh so in love with. "Who told you to clean the room?" he whispered as he plopped down on the floor behind me and pulls me closer to him as my back hits his bare chest. His sleepy voice and his hot breath tingle down my body. "Uh, my subconscious". I continue to refold my clothes more neatly.

"You made me sleep for uh-" he takes my phone from the floor to check the time, "- three hours didn't you". And that ladies and gentlemen were an accomplishment. "mhm" I tell that sounded like a yes and I was so fucking proud of myself. Damien pushes all my hair to one side of my shoulder revealing the side of my neck that have one or two hickeys. He kissed the back of my ear and down the crook of my neck. "It's unfair that I'm the only one shirtless here" he whispered to my ear and I lean back devouring his touch creeping up inside my camisole.

"Kevin is back," I tell even though he probably might know by now. "I know and I want you close to me. Okay?" he said looking at the side of my face. "why?"

"The fucker is... something and he pisses me off so, I don't want to flip out and when I have you near me I tend to be calm" he admits. "And, why is that?". I know I'm asking a lot of questions but I love to hear him talk and his answers always surprise me. So, yes I would ask him the same question over and over again and he would give me different answers that tingle something in me and it was amazing how even though his answers are different they all drew together to the same question.

"Because you make me calm and you make me want to control myself". How can a single person's words make you feel this much? His words make me feel all the things that I haven't felt for years. He makes me unendurably happy, that I still try hard to wrap my head around. I still beat myself for my past but it's a bit different; everything seems a little lighter now and I'm afraid that if I crave more of it I will lose it all and I will be back to that distant and miserable Rhea who makes her own life a living hell. A life where I push away Damien and all my friends.

"Why?" I ask again and he let out a small laugh but gets all serious before he answers.

"Because there's nothing I fear more than hurting and losing you," he whispers to my ear. I felt his words hit right into my heart. I stop folding the clothes and tilted my head sideways looking at him.

"Why?"

"Because I don't break promises."

"What do you mean?"

"Once when you came to my house I blacked out and threw all the books that were on the bookshelf and I didn't know you were there. But, when I saw you witness it all, I looked at your eyes and it held so much fear because we were so little..." he takes a pause and tucked few strands of my hair behind my ear, "and I promised you that 'I might light the whole world on fire but I won't let a single flame touch you' ". I didn't even feel the tears trickling down my cheek until Damien kissed the tear away from my face. I leaned in and kissed him because I had no other words to compete with that. I felt like I was stabbed with a hundred swords in my heart by his words but this time not making me fall apart but making me strong and hopeful.

Strong

Hope

Damien

Damien Zander Jones, my strength and my hope.

A/N - DAMN! THIS MAN AND HIS WORDS...

THANK YOU FOR READING AND A COOKIE GOES TO WHOEVER

-PEACE