i can't decide

if knowing you

was a blessing

or a curse.

because

at one

point,

you made me

feel the most

alive

i've ever been.

i ran with you

through fields

in the middle of

the night.

i danced

in sprinklers

with you.

you'd play guitar

for me

until 4 a.m.

but now

it's 3:59

and i'm

all alone.

i can't decide

what is worse.

not knowing you

at all,

or knowing you

and losing you.