From friends to best friends to double-sided crushes,

I still remember the days when I used to climb the terrace in a rush.

I'm talking about the era before tik-tok or even candy crush...

From jumping on each other's roofs to play badminton,

To watch you play ruthlessly with your gun,

I remember the balloons, the snake, the chocolates, the heart...

All the sweet memories are still intact,

But now see, we don't even have each other's contact...

That was the time when I was hopeful,

But now I know that hope does die.

The time when I had moments to cherish,

But now I know time does fly.

It's an unnerving fact that from the moment you are born,

You begin to die.

The voyage of an empty life,

I don't know why I sometimes just feel like a string-less kite...

.

.

.

Dear fucking imbecile dairy,

As you can see, I'm not in a good mood today. Well, I have never been in a genuine happy mood since... well, you know, I don't know why the fuck I'm talking to you like you are a genuine person who can understand me. Fuck it, no one can or will be able to understand me. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even think straight.

I'm having those nightmares again. You could have guessed it right since I only talked to you about this topic, but you are a dumb fucking notebook anyway.

I don't understand why I can't really move on... it's been 11 years for fuck's sake. Ughhh! I'm so angry at myself for being so pathetic... I can't show this side to the world. They will not see me as an ideal leader who can skin them apart in just a minute. They will see me as a weakling, a weed in business, and weeds are just thrown away.

I don't know what to do. Even the pills seem to have lost their ability to affect me. I don't want to see a counsellor again. I don't want to recite that again and again...

The last few days have been insane; I kidnapped a rival leader, and the leader is an idiot. I must add, she is not even a bit afraid of me. I don't know whether to take this as a good thing or not. Maybe she will function well on my plan by not being afraid of me. Or maybe she would try to do something fishy. Ugh... She is a stupid...stupid bitch who is ugh...

Anyway, today is probably the day I finally see her, or even better, him, after eleven long years of waiting, eleven long years of pain, eleven long years of misery, eleven long years of separation, and eleven long years of bloodthirst.

I put the journal back on the shelf and sighed, remembering that today was the day for the ball to be held. No weapons and no security are allowed in that means I can't take Max with me, ugh!

I looked at the clock and groaned, I was late as usual. I immediately stood up from my office desk and made my way towards my room.

"Pumpkin-" oh shit -

"Y-Yes." I shuttered, frozen in my place and-

*Smack*

"Ouch-old man, can't you keep your hands to yourself once?" I groaned, rubbing my head, and Max gave me an annoyed look.

"Why are you still not ready?" He asked, raising his brows, looking at me still in a loose black t-shirt with blue denim shorts.

"I-I was just going to-" I replied and he just sighed, shaking his head.

"Pumpkin, can't you just once get ready on time?" He asked and I rolled my eyes at him.

"I will think about it," I answered, smiling cheekily, and ran away before he could smack me again.

I entered my room and I- Damn-

There the kitten was sitting in front of the dressing table with dark marron lipstick in her hand, which I din't knew where she got. She was wearing the red lace dress which we bought. The dress did indeed do justice to her curves. Her long legs were visible from the slit of the dress, and she was also wearing burgundy sparkling high heels, which I didn't knew who provided them to her either. Her reddish-brown curly hair was tied in a messy bun, her eyes were sparkling with red glittery eyeshadow and cat eyeliner, and her freckles were covered by the foundation she was wearing. Her lips-

"Like what you see, my lady?" she winked, looking at me from the mirror and for a mere second, I think I lost my breath when she turned around and her eyes met mine, I averted my gaze and rolled my eyes at her.

"You are more than ready, Now go shoo-wait for me in the dining room," I scoffed, and she smirked, Ugh... Why the fucking hell is this cat-like woman so damn annoying?

"I am still doing my makeup, so I am not ready." She smiled innocently, and I gave her a look stating, 'Are you fucking crazy?'.

"You literally are wearing more makeup than I have ever applied in my whole life," I huffed, and she chuckled.

"I don't doubt that-" she said and then turned around and continued to apply the lipstick.

"What-where did you get these anyway?" I pointed at the makeup supplies on my dressing table and she smiled.

"At least there is someone in this mansion who cares about fashion and style."

"Ughh...Max-" I sighed and she nodded, smiling cheekily.

"Okay, but you fucking need to get out of my room. " I commanded again, but instead of getting up, she just raised her brows at me, looking at me in the mirror.

"And why is it so?"

"The fuck why? I need to fucking change." I was annoyed by the cat lady in front of me.

"Then change," she smirked, and I swear this girl was testing my limits.

"KARTOS!" I exclaimed and my baby entered the room immediately and she gave me a questioning look.

"Baby, drag this kitten out of my room," I commanded, but to my surprise, he just ignored me and lazily sat down beside my leg-

"Good boy-" The kitten smirked again, Oh so now even my baby has changed his party.

"Five treats-" I said in a low voice and immediately he stood up from his position and growled at the cat woman in front of us and she jumped from the chair in surprise.

"Now baby, get this woman out of the room, will ya?" I grinned at the kitten who was looking at my baby with a sense of betrayal in her eyes.

"You too, Brutus-" She said dramatically and exited the room with my baby, who was still growling at her. I chuckled at them. Closing the door, I made my way towards my wardrobe, where my tuxedo was resting.

Wearing the matte black tuxedo with a red tie and black leather high-heeled boots, I looked into the mirror and made my way towards the dressing table. I opened the drawer and took out the hair gel and styled my hair.

'Maybe I should try a little bit of makeup too'-I looked at the makeup kit resting before me and picked up the kajal.

I opened the drawer again and took out my foundation and applied a small amount to my face, I used a bit of kajal to highlight my eyes. Then I spotted a red matte lip gloss resting on the table. I shrugged and picked it up. Let's just shine today-

"PUMPKIN, ARE YOU READY OR NOT? IT'S ALMOST SEVEN FORTY AND-"

I opened the door and he stopped. I swear his eyes became as wide as if they might just pop out of the sockets-

"Earth to Maxxy!" I snapped my fingers at his face.

"Who is this - where is my pumpkin?" He asked in a dramatic tone, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Why are all the people in this mansion so dramatic?" I mumbled and he just chuckled.

"But Pumpkin, you are looking so beautiful today-" he smiled, placing his hand on my shoulder, and I sighed.

"Oh, pleaseeee- Don't be so melodramatic as a baby. " I teased.

*Smack*

"Ouch!" I whined, and he rolled his eyes at me.

"You imbecile, will not understand the feeling of seeing your child growing into a gorgeous woman and becoming an adult. Just seeing you dressed up after all these years gives me a rush of mixed emotions. Uggh, I feel like I'm getting periods... Fuck!" Max complained.

"Language, Maxxy," I remarked wryly.

*Smack*

" Owwiieee!!! Keep your hands to yourself, old man!"

Just as Max was about to say something, the sound of heels echoed down the hall and he smiled.

*************************************************************************

After an hour's drive, Kitten and I arrived at our destination. White pillars lined the outside, and a red carpet was laid out from the front door for us to walk on. A crowd of paparazzi was already surrendering the carpet floor. I fucking hate them... They just don't have a fucking life.

A lot of leaders, or I can say every leader, including myself, have some legal business as a cover-up over their income or transactions, so the media thinks that it's some sort of business event where the CEOs of famous companies gather and invest in some charities.

Charities are another method to cover up the black deeds done here.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of my Rover from the driver's seat, and made my way towards the door of the passenger seat, where I opened the door for the kitten, who gave me an amused look. The flashes immediately blinded my vision and Kitten stepped out of the car, and I laced my hand with hers, drawing all the attention towards us. The crowd started murmuring, and the media started throwing questions at us.

"Isn't she Adriana Styles?"

"What is she doing with Krystal Blake?"

"They are matching their outfits-"

"Seems like they are together-"

"Mam, can you please pose for us-"

The kitten smirked in my direction and held my right elbow with both of her hands and leaned in my direction, posing in front of the camera.

I just stood there for some time with the best business smile on my face and then dragged the photoholic kitten inside the venue.

After the security check, we entered the ballroom. It was beautifully decorated, as if It were the set for some Disney princess shit.

All sorts of white, red, and black flowers were arranged in the center of the hall. Most of the room was gold and white. Servers in all white walk across the room between the mingling guests, engaging in "friendly" conversations and handling appetizers and wines. A soft piano was playing elegantly in the background, and some people were just standing alone, enjoying the drinks and music.

"Ah! Ms. Blake, what a pleasure to see you here! !" Hunter, the head of the Black Dragon gang, exclaimed, which ranked third in the underworld of Thailand, He kissed the back of my hand, completely ignoring the kitten beside me.

"Pleasure to see the Dragons," I said, gracefully faking a perfect smile, making the man blush before me.

"My lady, you are looking beautiful as ever-" he continued, and I felt the kitten tighten her hold on my elbow.

"You look good yourself, and I can see half of the females are looking over you in our direction," I looked around.

"They are most likely to be looking at you, my lady," he blushed even more, and I nodded, fakely chuckling at his statement.

"Now, If you excuse us, we have other guests to greet-" I said, using the keyword 'we', and dragged the kitten along with me.

"What's with you and all the men blushing?" The kitten asked me curiously and I smirked.

"Believe me, kitten, you don't want to know-" I whispered in a low husky tone, leaning down on her earlobe, and she gulped.

I dragged her to the corner of the hall where the bar was located, There I settled myself down on the stool and the kitten did the same beside me.

"What can I do to please you, mistresses?" The female bartender appeared from I don't know, perhaps inside the table? Smiling, she did her best to lean forward and flick her platinum blonde hair in front of me. She was wearing a formal white shirt with a black funnel skirt, but her few buttons were opened revealing her clavicle bone and an eagle tattoo on her shoulder maybe I was looking at the tattoo for too long, The kitten elbowed me and I glared at her.

"I would like to have a Mint Julep." The Kitten said as she leaned in closer to me, but the bartender seemed unfazed. Nodding at her, she looked back at me.

"And what would you like to have, Mistress?" She perhaps was trying to be flirty and I mentally rolled my eyes at her.

"Black Russian," I said, and she smiled at me before turning around to make our drinks.

"Why is everyone either flirty or blushy with you?" The kitten asked, whispering in my ear, and I chuckled.

"They are either fucked or want to be fucked." I answered in a monotone and her eyes grew wide.

"WHAT!" She exclaimed, and I placed my palm over her mouth, stopping her from drawing any more attention to us than we were already getting. After some time, when she calmed down, I removed my hand from her mouth.

"You" Unable to say anything, she just stopped in the middle of the sentence and started to mumble something to herself.

Soon, the woman returned with our cocktails, and I thanked her for a little after getting my drink, and she winked at me before leaving us alone, and the kitten rolled her eyes.

"Why are you being so grumpy?" I questioned her and huffed and, without saying anything, started drinking her drink.

Mentally shrugging, I too sipped on my cocktail and let the coffee and vodka engulf my senses.

Soon the people who were around us either gave us a strange look or came to greet us. The party was boring, and my companion, who looked and share her soul with a cat, yawned and rested her forehead against my shoulder, which earned us weird looks from the people around, and I just continued to enjoy my drink, too lazy to do anything.

Suddenly, the murmurs stopped and I looked around to find everyone was looking at the entrance door, Oh so it seemed like it was the time. I smirked and looked at the kitten who was still resting on my shoulder with closed eyes. Well, it's not according to the plan, but it seems more genuine than that. Mentally shrugging, I refocused my attention on the entrance door.

The sound of heels echoing through the hall mixed with the piano's sound. There she appeared in a long timber green lace gown, glittering in her caramel skin tone, her long legs covered in beautiful tattoos peeking out from the slit of her dress, her straight long dark brown hair falling freely over her shoulder, her soft beautiful dark brown eyes shining with mystery and beauty.

"And I thought you were the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." The kitten mumbled and tried to remove her head from my shoulder, but I stopped her head with my hand.

"Are you sure kitten I'm not?" I asked, whispering in her ear with a husky tone.

"No-no," she shuttered, and I chuckled, attracting the attention of the woman standing just in the middle of the hallway in front of us.

Her eyes met mine and her face hardened, and I smiled at her. I placed one hand on the kitten's thigh and mouthed.

"Welcome Home, Princess"

**************************