The rising sun shines through the living room window to warm my face. The fire has long burned out, not once did I wake to fill it. A smile grows on my face. I haven't slept this well in years even on the couch it was better than most nights I have had. I can only imagine how it'll be waking up to her every morning. She could always reject me though. I swallow audibly at the thought slithering through my mind, getting up to go to the fridge and downing a bottle of water. It is a constant struggle for happiness in my mind when dark thoughts corrupt the bright ones. I have to try and keep my mind focused.

Walking out the sliding back door and stepping on the deck the crisp air curls around me to chill my skin. Sweater for the early mornings and evenings from here on out. This is the weather I love the most. Stretching out and taking a deep breath in before making my way over to the bear pelt rolled up against the side of the cabin. Unrolling it I give it a good shake out before reapplying more salt, it'll take another twelve hours before it'll be ready. Bringing my wrist up to check the time my watch isn't there I haven’t had the chance to fix it yet.

Guess that's my next task.

Time passes by as I try to remove and replace the small components of the watch when my stomach rumbles out its wants. Time to eat. Opening the fridge it's damn near bare, going to the cupboards but they aren't much better and my stomach protests more to the emptiness of this place. I need to stock up on my own supplies before winter if I don't do it now I'll probably forget later. The little bit I have put up in the back room will only last a month.

Making a quick list of the basics I will need before leaving through the front I catch sight of Kirsten walking towards my cabin, face down and hands in her jacket pockets her oversized scarf hides the lower half of her face as she marches on. She hasn't noticed me. Reaching my driver side door and opening it I call out "need something?" Startling her, she puts her hand over her heart with a gasp from the surprise. "Oh Cage, you scared me, I wasn't paying attention." She says quickly, flustered. "umm no, I didn't need anything. I'm just walking around, needed to get out of their house... Stretch my legs..." She trails off with a bit of a blush forming on her checks.

"Fighting again are they?" I ask her. I have been around long enough, I am used to their arguing by now but I remember how awkward it would be to listen to.

"They do it often, huh?" She asks softly.

"Ya," I answer.

She nods before the conversation falls into an uncomfortable silence. Rattling my keys in my hand I am not sure what to do or say to this female. She doesn't seem so bad right now just lost and mixed up in a friends nonsense. Taking another moment to think on it before giving her the invitation to join me the wolf does not agree with the idea. I ignore. "I'm heading to the store to get some things for winter. Would you like to tag along?" Kirsten pauses for a moment and her eyes go wide as she thinks about my offer.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" She's being timid, careful not to step on toes.

"Hop in," I tell her.

It's not a long drive and she takes the time to congratulate me on yesterday. I can see she is happy for me but a dull sadness can be seen in her eyes no matter how bright she smiles.

Loneliness and longing battling in those amber eyes.

In the store, the topic changes and she tries to change her mood with it. Helping me to go through my list and pick out the things I need. She is shocked at how much I need to get. Seems Scott has his house winterized and I'm so far behind procrastination isn't even an excuse. Lack of caring.

She plucks a jar of cherries off the shelf, humming to herself. "You wouldn't believe it," she says, "but my family owns an orchard. We grow oranges, apples, peaches and cherries. I couldn't imagine moving here and having shorter growing seasons for gardening." She's smiling more to herself than me. Never imagined her to be a gardener. Taking the jar from her hand inspecting it before handing it back; never much cared for the candied cherries. "My Grams likes to garden, me and Pops built her a greenhouse a few years back. Not really my thing though." Grabbing two bags of sugar off the lower shelf she picks up a sack of flour for me.

Almost two hours later and we are heading back to my house, she offers to help me bring in the groceries and put them away. My wolf nudges at me, he doesn't like the idea of having another in his home but I see no harm in her helping if it took this long to get the food it will take some time to put it up.

We bring it all in with a few trips and begin sorting it into its right place with her asking a few times where items will go. We make small chit chat to fill the time. I learned she met her mate at eighteen but he died a year later on a fishing boat. He was from the east coast and she decided to move back home. She tells me she was there when Scott came and met Cheyanne, she remembers me but I don't remember her. She bites her bottom lip when the conversation starts to die down and we are just finishing. "So what are you going to do? Are you really going to mate with a human?" She asks me. I grind my back molars, the day was going well but I don't like the tone in her voice.

"She's my mate of course I am." leaving no room for debate the wolf sounds out low with me.

"I didn't mean it to be offensive Cage, I have never known a wolf to have a human instead of another wolf for a mate. Just seems like it'll be more difficult. Impossible even." She looks towards me seeming concerned. Gripping the counter edge I need to take a moment to count in my head Kirsten isn't trying to be rude, just curious. The wolf does not appreciate it though and bristles. "Forget I brought it up. I'm sorry Cage I never meant it to be hurtful." She fidgets with a few strands of her hair with her head down, becoming uncomfortable.

"It's fine," I tell her while clearing my throat. "I know it won't be easy. Nothing worth having is easy." My mate will always be worth the effort and the struggle.

"What's your plan if she rejects you if you don't mind me asking." Letting go over her hair she fiddles with her fingers instead trying to regain composure.

"There is no plan B." Growling it out.

She pauses for a moment "okay." Finally responding. "It's getting late I better go." She points to the door. I don't stop her.

"It was nice having your help today thank you, Kirsten." Attempting to be polite, until now she hadn't really been bothering me.

She leaves out the front and I head toward the back yard. I have to do something and occupy my mind.

It's been enough hours. Grabbing the pelt I walk on the beaten down path towards the familiar cabin, Grams is sitting outside on her porch with her needles and yarn. "Entertaining she-wolves are we? How does your mate feel about that?" She doesn't even look my way, keeping her eyes on the continued movements of her fingers. "She was just helping, its Lunas friend. That's all." Trying to convince her the truth. She looks up at me with a humph before asking me what I have, unrolling it once again to shake off the salt. "Killed it last night with Scott." I explain to her "told me I can keep it. Going to make a blanket out of it I think." Looking up at her through my lashes the best I can.

"You know that beard and you're tall stature doesn't really give you the best look for puppy eyes." Her tone is easier than it was before. "Let me see it while you go get the rack, it needs to finish drying." Running her hands through the fur before dismissing me.

I make my way over to the larger shed and take out Pops old fur rack. It hasn't been touched since he passed. Smoothing my hand over the solid oak a lump forms in my throat. Trying to dislodge it doesn't help and I have to lean against it for support. Goddess I miss him. I can't hold back any longer and it takes me a few more minutes before I can return to where Grams was seated, she is now in the house and the fur rests in her seat. Looking through the window I can see her putting the kettle on the stove to heat and there is meat cooking with vegetables nearby.

I take my regular seat when I enter the kitchen and she has a cup of floral tea ready for me. It's her favourite. I can't hide my smile. Home.

Grams takes her seat. I rub the back of my knuckles against the hot porcelain of the mug. "She smells like this you know." Telling her this while staring at the hot liquid slowly swirling around. I don't want to drink it, just continue to take the scent in. Its aroma is nothing in comparison to her. Grams blows on her mug before sipping her tea. "I wondered when you might tell me you found her yesterday." The blues of her eyes darken slightly over the rim of her cup as she continues to drink it down.

"Grams you already knew. You always know everything before I ever get the chance to even tell you." I scoff at her.

"Still would have been nice to hear it from you. Now tell me about her dear." She sets down her cup to give me her full attention. I don't even know where to start. "Beautiful." Is all I can think of while I drift into my daydreams.

"Is that all? Judging by the dumb grin on your face there is more." She deadpans.

Glaring her way she pays me no mind "I don't know much Grams, we interacted with each other for about five minutes. She wasn't happy with me, thought I was some creep trying to hit on her."

"You are." She interrupts.

"Not like that and you know it." I point out. She motions for me to continue. "All I know is she works at that sanctuary north of here, she is the veterinarian assistant and her name is Sophia. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday I will be volunteering there to try and get some time with her, get to know her." I finish telling her before taking my cup and sipping slowly on the delicious liquid.

I wonder if she tastes as good.

Grams gives me a look and I try to keep my mind off of those thoughts. Looking out the window to clear my mind. It doesn't help.

"I hear she's a human, from what you just told me it must be true." She states and I hum in response looking back down at my mug. "It'll work out sweetheart. Things always work the way they are meant to." She reaches over and squeezes my hand. "Now go get us some plates of food I'm sure you're hungry." Heading to the stove she has the plates on the stand next to it. The smell is tantalizing causing my stomach to groan, I had gotten so busy I had forgotten about needing to eat.

Dinner passes by in mostly companionable silence. Washing up the dishes so Grams can go to bed she seems more tired tonight than she normally does. It's hard watching her get frail in her old age. Just clinging to life. I always feel guilty when I notice her gradual decline. When they should have been enjoying retirement and grandpups, they were raising one instead. Doing it all over again just sucked their energy out of them. As I got older, so did they, no longer able to play games, throw balls or teach me hand to hand lessons.

Things a mother wolf and father wolf should be teaching their young.

The thoughts leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I'll never do that to my pups. I'll always be there to watch them grow, teaching them what they need to know. Playing games. Fighting. The mug I am washing shatters in my hand falling into the sink from squeezing my fist too hard. A trickle of blood drops down with it. Quickly picking up the broken pieces and throwing them in the trash I pick out the few shards in my hand. No need to bandage it, it'll heal soon enough.

Leaving the house I decide on a run to burn off the pent-up energy I have from my anger. I normally try to control it, keep it down, lock it away deep where it belongs. No point in getting worked up over the things out of my control. She's never made an effort to see me and I never make one to see her. She is happy that way, let her be.

My wolf roams as he pleases. Trees and bushes give way to an open field with the remnants of the harvest with a few plots still untouched waiting for the farmers to clear them next. Too caught up in my own mind to pay attention I don't recognize where I am. The surroundings are strange but I know by the scent I'm no longer within our borders. A small farmhouse can be seen just up ahead with a few lights on. The wolf inhales deeply and I know why he has come here.

Mate.

Getting closer I see only one silhouette in the home, she seems to be in the kitchen area. Lingering around, the light soon turns off and a few seconds later one on the second floor flicks on. We are close enough to the home that I can hear her through the opened window humming to herself.

Shifting back to skin I quietly and carefully climb the tree close by. I know I shouldn’t but can’t help myself. Perching on a large branch that holds most of its leaves I watch her. She combs her hair to the side. I can see she wears it in a half-shaven style as she braids it to the side. Different. She sings softly to herself in the mirror and I can't get enough of her. Trying to inch my way closer. A dog rests on her bed while a cat jumps on her lap. She seems to really love animals. Placing my hand a little further to lean in closer I can hear the cracking of it but it's too late to move back. The branch breaks under my weight and I fall to the ground.

She jumps at the sound before coming to her window to find out what made it.