My body aches and groans with the exertion of just walking back to my pickup truck after training. Opening up the door and slowly climbing inside with a grunt of pain through a clenched jaw. I'm trying not to show the real amount of pain I am in. My muscles twinge with the burn I have not felt in a long time. I can feel the bruises forming on my ribs and lower back. Wheezing sounds instead of normal breathing caused by the broken bones on the side of my body. Knuckles are starting to swell even to the point the steering wheel is hard to hold.

I was not on my A game today. Misstepping and misjudging, not hitting hard enough or anticipating the right counter. I was all over the place and they all took notice. I just couldn't focus on the task. A few male wolves were watching me, judging me; sizing me up for competition. If I don't get my head on right I could lose my position.

The wolf inside does not even stir. He has anchored himself to the farthest corner of my mind. We are both at fault for my failures today. Forcing him to remember this the next time he pulls my mind away when it's my day to train. I'll be pushing him harder when it's his day to be on the field.

I haven't felt this disappointed in myself in years; before I secured my future Beta spot.

The juvenile males were relentless with their attacks. Take down anything different. They seen me as weak, lacking the possible knowledge and ability learned from basic training of a father. After I had enough ass kickings my grandfather spoke with Scott's father, Alpha Barrett, and arranged for me to start training with Scott and himself during my free time. We would spend hours and hours learning new fighting tactics, how to throw a punch and grapple, evade and take on an advancement.

I remember the pride that surged through my grandparents when I told them after I won. My body littered with dark spots of black and purple and a few broken bones in my arms and rib cage, but it was all worth putting my tormentors in their place and earn my spot. Now I have to go to Grams and explain my swelling black eye and cut lip amongst the other injuries she is sure to notice. Why did I say I would be there for breakfast? I should have told her dinner instead. At least by then, it would be mostly healed and the discolouration minimum.

Parking in the driveway inhaling a deep breath hurts. I have to slowly release it before stepping out of the truck. Even these small movements can be felt deep under my skin it is nothing in comparison to what I'm about to be met with.

Feels like I have come to my day of judgement. Maybe the Moon will put Grams in charge of who gets in and who's left out. She would be perfect for the job of gatekeeper.

Pushing the front door open slowly before calling out good morning, She is already setting the plates on the table. Still has good timing. Taking my usual seat across from her, ducking my head and keeping it focused on my food. She isn't eating, just waiting while I'm shovelling fork full after fork full into my mouth. My portion already half eaten she starts to tap her slender fingers on the table by her plate. Waiting.

I already know that she knew before I ever even pulled into her driveway. Nothing happens around here without her knowing about it.

She is really going to make me do this.

I put my fork down, picking up the glass of orange juice and swallowing what's in my mouth. Looking her right in the eye. Forget-me-not blues pierce into the brown-green mixture of hazel.

Funny how terrifying flowers can be.

Face the bull head on, don't show weakness or fear, shoulders back and head up. That's what Pops always said when giving advice on a stronger opponent. I do not think he meant it towards her though because I can feel my body beginning to shake under her scrutinizing gaze, my eye wanting to twitch with the force to not blink through a half swollen eye. She gives no ground and I slump down, sitting back huffing out my breath. She smirks at her win and my already sour mood deepens. "Figured by now you would be used to losing." She crosses her arms not at all proud of me today, I turn my head to look out the large kitchen window. I really can't stand this feeling of disappointment from her. "You know if this continues you won't hold that position for long. Anyone can come and challenge you for it and you are showing them they can. How are you to expect an Alpha to give an extended leave of absence to his Beta when you can't even show you are capable of holding your title? If you leave and come back empty handed then what?" She bluntly questions me. Tough love from her is hard to hear, it is always more truthful then what I want to know. If I have no place in the pack why even come back at all?

Truth hurts.

Picking back up my fork and scarfing down the rest of the hash browns and sausage before this conversation can continue. "I have to go, I'm going to be late," I say sharply. Getting up and tossing my dirty dishes in the sink with a clank.

Before heading to the door I turn back toward the kitchen where she still sits not touching her plate, "it's hard to concentrate when I have everyone and everything about my future in my mind at once. I'll get it together." I try to reason with her. She unfolds her arms muttering under her breath and begins to eat. Not happy with my excuse but I guess she will take it for now.

Now I have more things to add to my thoughts. Where would I go or what would I do if I didn't have a position in the pack? What would my mate think of me losing it all because I'm too caught up in this singular task? How would I care for a family?

I have been told there is a reason for everything that we go through, they are our trials for the moon's purpose. Whatever her plan with me is, I would like to know. A sign of something pointing me to where I'm meant to be.

My knuckles are turning white before cuts reopen and blood trickles out from the pressure my grip is causing to the steering wheel. Running my hands through my hair in frustration to try and calm my nerves.

I need to get it together.

Getting over to Scott’s the day goes from bad to worse. If I thought us fitting into that small van was supposed to be unpleasant and cramped it was nothing in comparison to me being told I'd be taking Kirsten with me in my truck. Just the two of us.

Scott looks at me with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. He knew and never told me this morning like my punishment has to keep going.

And he tells me I'm an asshole.

Kirsten waits, twisting her fingers through the ends of her brown hair, wide amber eyes look at me expectantly to open her door for her and Chey clears her throat trying to jab her thumb towards the truck while pushing her short, golden locks behind her shoulder as a signal for me to hurry up. Rolling my eyes while sighing loud and annoyingly I pull the passenger side door open hard. "Get in," I utter out between the grind of my back molars. Kirsten meekly gets in with her head down and Scott gives me a look. The minute her door closes he hisses “behave,” like she can't hear him.

Climbing in and starting the truck I already know where we are heading there is no need for the GPS. I toss it into the center console as an excuse to put it down instead of leaving it up. Put some barrier between us. It is a forty-five-minute drive if we hit no traffic.

Heading out the narrow pathway of the secluded cabins in this section of land she tries to start making small talk. We aren't even five minutes in and I already want to crash and burn. "This might be fun, CheyChey seems to think so." She says cheerfully while fidgeting with her fingers.

"Bundles," I meet her blissful tone with my snide sarcastic voice.

A moment passes before she clears her throat awkwardly. "We were looking at the website last night. Tells you all the different wild animals they have, shows pictures too. Kind of neat don't you think?" She looks at me with a simpering smile on her dark painted lips. I can see her in the corner of my eye but I keep my eyes on the road ahead of me. "Hardly wild if they are in cages." I scoff at her. She is either really good at ignoring rude tones or can't figure out I'm not wanting to really continue this conversation. I don't want to be here I'm basically being blackmailed to do this.

I wonder if she is aware of that?

She bites her bottom lip, eyes darting towards me as she looks back out the front window. She's trying to think of what to say next. "It's mostly glass enclosures from what I could see in the photos." She replies. I glance over and she is just staring at me, eyebrows knitted together.

Really looking at her, she has her makeup and hair done over the top for a small outing. You can tell she spent hours and a can of hairspray to get the bounce to stick in her curls. Thick fake lashes and even thicker eyeliner engulf her eyes. She constantly blinks and I'm not sure if it's from the pound of makeup she has on or if she thinks it's attractive. Why they think she would suit me is beyond me, she is pretty but nowhere near my type. I have an inkling this is all for Cheyenne's benefit, not mine or Kirsten's.

I'm only getting more agitated with this. It's hard to try and hide my annoyance and anger any longer. "You honestly think glass makes it less of a cage for those animals?" I ask her. "Why even go and look if we can sit in the backyard and wait for them to come to us or go for a walk in the open woods instead?" I'm seething. Her and Cheyenne are two peas in a pod. Growing up in the suburbs around a more human populated area they aren't used to the wildlife, the trees, the insects, nature in general. More use to the beach, the boardwalk and the mall.

She seems to go quiet, eyes downcasted towards her lap wringing her hands together. Her caramel skin changing to cinnamon. "Is that what you would like to go do? I'm sure you know a few places around you could show me..." She drifts off letting the invitation hang in the air. I can't do this. I just want to tell her no and to fuck off, I'm not for her, she has been lied to. I just can't seem to say it in any nice way.

Breathing in looking at the dashboards clock we have only been driving for twenty-three minutes. I can't do this the whole way there.

Letting go of the breath I am holding, time to try and let her down easy. "Look I don't know what they told you, more specifically what Cheyenne told you, but I am not interested in dating. I'm not looking to hang out and get to know someone, I am not going on dates or romantic walks, and I am not looking to settle down with anyone who isn't my mate. I am sorry you are caught up in all this and think it's a chance but that chance isn't with me." Spearing another glance towards her she has her eyes set to the road and is biting her lip again. She nods, saying nothing else for the remainder of the drive although I catch her wanting to, catching herself before she lets it slip.

I feel like a real dick.

I can sense her upset emotions that she is trying so hard to cover up with indifference. It's rolling over her like a wave in the sea. I can smell the salt she is blinking back, trying so hard to hold it together. I roll down the window to let the air come in and take it all out with it.

Pulling on the dirt road it flows and bends around a natural forest. You can see the bits of metal and stone where they have put in fencing and walls to keep the game inside. The parking lot has a good amount of vehicles in it when we finally arrive, choosing an empty space closer to the exit.

Looking out my window at the entrance a ticket booth is set in the middle of a large metal gate that is fully open to allow visitors in and out freely. A sign with prices sits in front of the booth. Looking at the expense I can't believe what I will have to pay for not only myself but this female to enter into a facility that holds wild animals, most of which I am sure I have seen actually living freely.

I'm starting to feel like a caged animal myself as I reach for my door handle. I need out. We exit the vehicle and they aren't far behind us. Kirsten plasters on a smile as she makes her way over to the van to help take out the strollers. She puts Dusty in the umbrella stroller while Cheyenne clips Grays car seat into his stroller.

They begin to chat while I slowly follow them towards the entrance where the ticket office sits. Scott is already pulling out his wallet informing me he is paying for everyone so I don't have to pay for hers. He is giving me a look, trying to pry for answers but I just shrug before following behind them.

Yawning loudly I can feel how tired I already am. Today is going to be a very long day.