Jackson turned the heater on in his car because it was after six pm and it was getting a little chilly. Plus I was shaking like a wild animal on steroids. He decided that a restaurant was not the best place to talk about his past so we had to walk back two blocks to find his car after he payed the bill which was over two hundred dollars. We are now under the stars at a place called 'lake neverland' and i'm seriously contemplating whether this is a date or not, I mean we did technically spend the whole day together.

"There are rules to me telling you this story,". Jackson broke the comfortable silence between us. " The main one is you can't cry".

" Is it that sad?". I had to ask.

" I couldn't say because, you are —and will be— the first and last person I tell this story willing to". His eyes traveled to the stars above us and I felt a small tug in my heart from how incredibly attractive and vulnerable he looks right now. Also because he's choosing to tell me something so personal. Or maybe it's just my teenage hormones.

" Thank you". I smiled and he nodded.

He cleared his throat. " Ten years ago —I can't remember if I was in America or Italy— I was eight years old. My family and I lived in a old run down neighbourhood in the city, we were poor but we were happy and somehow that made all the difference because things never got better but we still had each other".

He focused on the stars again and his eyes glazed over like he was almost picturing it in his mind. " One day I came home from school late and started to panic because we were supposed to move to a different place and I didn't want to get left. My parents were rushing to get everything packed when I got home and seemed to be very anxious and wanted to leave as soon as possible. Of course my mom scolded me for being late but she wasn't mad, just happy I was safe".

I took my shoes off and pulled up my feet so I was hugging my knees —yeah it was that kind of story— Jackson glanced at me but didn't say anything. He continued. " Someone sniped my mom right through the head from a tall building behind her and her feeble body fell right on top of mine, my dad screamed but it was too late, and group of men dressed in black came out from every corner and a few of them grabbed my dad. I met his eyes and he told me to run but I couldn't, my mom's blood was on my face and my dad was crying".

My food was threatening to come back up so I grabbed a bottle of water from the cup holder that Jackson had opened for me and chugged it down. He began again. " They basically beat my dad to pulp and handed me a gun with two choices, one, I shoot him now and put him out of his misery or two, I watch him suffer and die with him. My dad was screaming at me to kill him, he was sobbing even but I was scared. So I took the gun, shot the bastard who beat my dad and then I...I".

" I know,". I touched his shoulder. " You don't have to say it".

He killed his dad.

" I was alone for days after that vanilla bean, the guys who killed my parents didn't think I was worth it so they left me to die on my own. That's when your—". He cleared his throat. " My boss. That's when my boss saved me, he took me under his wing and help me become who I am today. I know I'm a monster but... I didn't want to be, it was my only choice".

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

My lips wobbled. " I'm so sorry". I sobbed.

" Christ vanilla bean,". He jumped in shock. " Not in the car".

I've never ugly cried in front of a guy before but I must say there's a first time for everything. He pulled my head to his shoulder and rubbed circles in my back with one hand while the other was secured safely around my waist. I'm such a bad person for calling him a monster. I just saw the body and remember how his eyes transformed then... I couldn't think of him the same way. He's broken. Just like me.

But worse.

" I thought I said no crying?". Jackson whispered in my ear.

" I'm sorry". I looked up at him through my lashes.

" Stop apologizing,". He wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. " That was ages ago".

"No,". I pushed myself back so I could see him better. " You're not a monster Jackson, monsters can't control themselves".

" But I can't!,". He threw his hands up in frustration. " Not unless you're there with your sweet little voice to say 'stop' ".

I blushed. " You think my voice is sweet?".

He froze. " I think you're sweet that's why I call you vanilla bean".

The heater was on but the temperature dropped a few degrees in the car. My fingers yearned to touch his hair. Our eyes locked my Green to his Hazel. I noticed the familiar golden flecks in his eyes again and sighed. I wish I could help him, I wish I could hold him like he held me and make it all better, but I...

" Am I still 'off limits' ?". I mocked.

" Oh crap, yes!". He jumped back breaking the connection between us.

Well, there goes that moment.

" Why are you taking business lecture?". I asked, referring to the class we practically skipped today.

" Ever since I was little I've always wanted to own a car manufacturing company where we buy, sell and fix cars,". His eyes lit up while he was talking about it. " What about you?".

"Oh,". I looked at my hands. " My mom thought it would be good for me to start my own business and be rich like my dad...but I want to be a photographer".

He lifted my chin. " Well, I think you should become a photographer".

"Good,". I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture of him. " Because I like capturing the moments".

" Oh really?". He smirked. " And what moment was this?".

I began playing with my hair. " This is the moment I got to know Jackson Miller, the bad boy".

He grabbed my waist and lifted me across the passenger seat so I was sitting on his lap in the drivers seat. I squealed. " And what exactly do you know now?".

" I know...,". I tried to calm my beating heart down and thank the heavens it was dark in his car. " That you're not such a bad person".

" You don't like when i'm bad?". He frowned.

" I do...". I answered honestly, he's hot when he's all bad. Gosh now my cheeks burn.

Face cheeks.

He sighed. " I'm not going to pull a 'Christian Grey' and tell you to stay away from me but, just be...cautious okay?".

I stared at him for a second before responding. " I don't have to, aren't you supposed to protect me?".

" Yeah, protect not—". He motioned between us. " Whatever this is".

I looked down. " You don't like—".

" Hey, I never said that". He interjected, lifting my chin again.

" Oh". I didn't know what else to say.

He groaned. " Vanilla bean you're just so innocent and...,". His eyes traveled to my lips which i'm currently biting. " Off limits".

Our faces were mere centimeters apart and his firm hands on either side of my waist made me want to end that stupid gap right now. I wanted him to end that gap right now, but he won't because of this 'off limits' crap. His breath smelled like the small glass of wine he had at the restaurant and I wanted to taste it from his lips.

" How are you still a virgin?". He blurted catching me off guard.

" I never wanted to do it with anyone before". I admitted.

" And now?". He rose his eyebrows.

He grabbed my chin with one of his hands so I couldn't look away. " Now I...I'm not sure".

Lie.

" Do you know who you want to—".

" Does it matter?,". I got frustrated. " He doesn't find me attractive anyway".

He gave me a small smile and pressed his soft lips on my neck. " Are you sure about that?".

I would've answered that question except Jackson's lips were on my neck and my thoughts turned to mush. He lowered the seat and flipped us over so he was on top of me. I met his eyes and he kissed my neck again, this time he gently tugged at the skin and a low moan escaped my lips. He whispered in my ear. " I can't love, or be loved vanilla bean". He pulled back and just like that,

The moment was over.

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