I would have kissed him.

The way Simon was looking at me, I would have kissed him, even if he had done so much as looked at my lips for more than three seconds.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window of the car, imagining him raising his hands to my face and cupping them gently like he did, and then leaning in for a kiss, right there, right in front of everyone.

I felt like my heart had grown wings.

My train of fantasies was rudely broken by sudden brakes - literally - as the car pulled up in front of the palace. I sighed and got off, ready to face my mother's rebukes.

Sure enough, she was standing right there in he hall, her back turned towards me, her fingers massaging her temples. She soon became aware of my presence and turned around, her face barely able to hide the disgust.

She took a deep breath, "I don't even want to look at you."

Her words broke me completely but I kept a calm demeanour, "I can see that."

"You have been warned several times," she said bitterly, "wasn't the episode you managed to pull off last year enough?"

I stared down at the floor, "A hug and a sex tape have no correlation mother."

"What has that boy done to you?" she snapped, hitting a hand on the table, "Erik is dead Wilhelm. You are the only one who can be the next prince, don't you see?"

"I have never said that I will not be the next prince," I said, looking her dead in the eye, "I have been performing my duties diligently. I am not doing that for the fun of it."

"Then why, son, why are you not letting that boy go? This is just a teenage drama. You will regret it once you grow up."

"It is not, he is a part of me now," I said without skipping a beat, "I have known him for a year now, and we have been through thick and thin, but my feelings have not changed for him one bit," I paused, "and he has a name."

Mother clenched her jaws, "Do you think the public will be able to respect you?"

"I don't see anything to be ashamed of," I replied plainly.

"You are not even listening to me," mother said, rubbing her face.

"You are not listening to me mother," I said, "You have been dictating over me for years. I have done everything you have wanted me to, and that is the reason I have so many holes in myself. I am not even capable of holding myself together."

Mother's face distorted to ugliness.

I took in a feeble breath, "But Simon has taught me to hold myself together. He taught me to be brave, and good. He is brilliant and smart, but born unlucky. If he had the privileges I do mother, he would have been a better prince than I can ever be."

"Quiet!" mother shouted. I blinked, thoroughly shaken by my own words.

"You are a fool. If something goes wrong, you are handling this on your own," she shouted, turned around and stormed away, leaving me standing all alone in the empty hallway, my whole body trembling violently.

I dragged a chair out and dropped down on it, burying my face in my hands, and cried my heart out. Erik would have understood. He would have been here for me.

...

I wiped away my tears and looked at my swollen eyes in the mirror.

There was a ping on my phone and I saw my picture with Simon in the notification, edited beside a photo from the sex tape.

What is once done cannot be undone.

I clicked my phone shut and ran a hand through my hair. I wanted to smash my phone against the wall, but refrained from doing so.

I rubbed my hand on my chest, and typed a message to Simon.

Hey, can we hang out? I wanted to talk about something

Yeah sure

But where?

I pursed my lips, thinking.

I'm coming over to Bjasta

When I reached there, the sun was setting, hence shadowing our faces from the view of others. Simon was stalling around the football field.

"Hey," he said on seeing me. He seemed strangely apprehensive. He had probably seen the pictures as well.

I nodded in the direction of the streets. We walked along till we reached a relatively less crowded place.

"Everything okay?" I asked. He nodded.

Every cell in my body wanted to reach out and hold his hands, but I waited. Not just yet.

"You do realize that," I swallowed, carefully picking my words, "that if I were to publicly come out, you will get a lot more attention than you are accustomed to right?"

Simon's lips twitched, "I have gotten a taste of what it feels like last year."

I shook my head, "It is not going to be the same. What happened last year was just a one time thing: it drifted away in the wind and trust me, it went a lot less viral than it felt like."

Simon looked at me bitterly, "What do you care? According to the data, you are not even in the video."

Ouch.

I scoffed, "Do you think people are dumb? They know exactly who is in the video. If it had not been me, I would have never had to deny it."

Simon stared at me.

"Look, I'm sorry for what I did last year..."

"Do you even want to be with me?"

With a pang in my heart, I looked at Simon, "Haven't I made it obvious enough in the past few weeks?"

Simon looked down at his feet.

"I literally hugged you right in front of the entire media, and right now, if you aren't aware, we are in public. If I wanted, I would have met you at your place, but I didn't. Do you think I enjoy going back to the palace and hearing my mother tell me how disappointed she is in me?"

Simon looked up, shocked, "She says that?"

"Blatantly," I said, "She leaves no stone unturned to tell me how much she is disgusted with me." I swallowed. "She has always wanted me to be like Erik, but I am not him," I said my voice faltering painfully.

Simon reached out and took my hands in his, then suddenly realising what he was doing, quickly tried to let them go but I held onto him, "She thinks this is just a teenage drama. Please help me prove her wrong."

Simon eyes were a swirl of emotions.

"Will you be able to handle it?" I asked one final time.

He went silent for a while and then nodded. "Yes," he said confidently, looking me straight in the eye, "Will you?"

I scoffed, "Trust me, I have been through worse."

I searched his eyes intently to see my love mirroring in his eyes. I raised his hands to my waist, excitement and fear raging up a storm in my chest. Placing one hand on his cheek, I leaned down and kissed him softly.

What is once done cannot be undone.