I peeped around, careful of anybody spying and then knocked on the window of Wille's room. He opened it and let me in.

"I thought you'd never come," he said, tugging the blinds shut.

"Yeah, got stuck in some work," I sighed and plopped down on his bed.

"Mmhm," he hummed, walking up to me. I peeked up at him through my lashes as he tilted my chin up. His thumb gently traced my jawline and my lips.

Almost instinctively, I sucked his thumb in my mouth, making him smirk. "Oh boy," he said softly, leaning down and pressing his lips on mine.

I wrapped my arms around him, standing up, and kissed him fervently, as if I was afraid I would never get to kiss him again.

"Mm, hold up," Wille said, pulling away.

"What happened?" I asked, searching his eyes.

"You are being intense today," he said, confused, "you are more of a sensual person."

"So?" I asked, scoffing.

"Something's up," he said. It wasn't a question.

I stared down at my feet.

Wilhelm immediately corrected himself, "I mean, I'm not complaining. It's cool if you wanna experiment and stuff. I just felt like..."

"Stop," I said, closing my eyes, "stop."

"Hey," Wille consoled, "hey, it's alright." He buried his hand in my hair, letting me lean my forehead on his shoulder.

"You said it felt like a dream," I gulped.

"Yes, I did."

"What will happen if-" my voice broke off weakly, "if you wake up to reality someday?"

"What do you mean Simme?"

"What happened last year," I said, grimacing, "what if it happens again Wille? What if the rumours come around again? What will you do?"

Wilhelm stared at me, dumbfounded.

"Will you leave me...alone? Again?" my voice cracked painfully.

His lips twitched as his eyes carefully studied my face.

"Will you?"

"Want to hear the truth Simon?" he said. I stared at him.

"The truth is that I don't know what I will do. I am not like you. My world is not divided into loyalty and betrayal like yours is. For me these words do not correspond to white and black. My life is a grey space and most of the time I can not figure it out."

His breathing was becoming ragged with every word he was stringing into sentences.

"I have been left alone by people who I trusted most, and I still cannot kick them out of my life because they are my family. But here is one thing that I know for sure. I. Cannot. Stay. Away. From. You."

I swallowed.

"You know it. I have tried it over and over to let you go, but it just breaks me open everytime. You are the only person I -" he was sobbing by now, "you are the only person in my life who is authentic. You feel angry at me, you show it, you feel sad, you show it and you have no hidden meanings behind them for me to decipher. You are simple, and plain and pure and whole. I am just a broken vase swept away by hurricanes and has somehow made its way through."

Tears trickled down from the corner of his eyes. I wiped them away gently with my thumb.

"You confuse me so much, Wille," I said.

"I know I do. Trust me, I am so sick of living this double life, but that is just how it is. I can't leave it, no matter how badly I want to. My mother says that it is, apparently, 'a privilige'," he sniffed and took a step away from me, "if you want to stay away from me, you can, but I can not-"

"Shut up, dumbass," I said, wrapping my arms around him, "I am not going anywhere."

Wilhelm calmed down as soon as I pulled him into a hug. He raised his arms and pulled himself as close to me as he possibly could, as if the thought of me leaving had scared the hell out of him. I could feel his heart pounding against my chest.

"Don't-" he said feebly, "don't fight with me please."

"I am not fighting," I said, rubbing his back soothingly. "It's just- you are so overflowing with emotions all the time around me, but when we are in public, you are cold as hell. It makes it so hard for me to figure out which one is the real you."

"Both of them are," he said quietly, "is that so hard to believe?"

I went silent for a while.

"No. No, it isn't."

My phone vibrated in my pocket. "God, who the fuck-" I stopped talking on seeing the name on the screen.

"Who is it?" Wilhelm asked.

I cleared my throat, "Uh, Casper."

He frowned.

I picked up the call.

"Simon?" I heard his voice over the phone.

"Yeah. What happened?"

"Well, uhm, there is someone outside our room. They are saying that the headmistress wants to see you."

"Oh shit," I said. Wilhelm raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Are you in some sort of trouble?" Casper asked.

I looked at Wilhelm and decided to reply honestly, "I don't know."