I sprinted down the corridors to the dining hall. If I missed dinner one more night, I was sure the cook would inform my physician, which is something I definitely did not want to happen.

I took a left turn and bumped into Felice - and I mean that literally.

"Oh man," I quickly ducked down to pick up the sheets that had scattered on the floor, "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, Wilhelm," Felice said calmly as she picked up the sheets with me.

"How have you been though?" she asked as she handed over the sheets to me, "You have completely disappeared these days."

"Oh, I'm as good as one can be," I said forcing a smile on my face, "Just the official duties and all..."

She nodded, "I get it." She paused, "By the way Simon was asking me about you."

"What? - I mean - what did he say?"

"He asked if I knew how you were doing, I said I had not talked to you in a long time," she halted for a moment, "He seemed worried about you."

I sucked my lips in and looked into space, "Why are you telling me this?"

"No reason," she shrugged, "Just wanted you to know you are not alone, you know. We are here for you if you need anything."

I swallowed, took a deep breath and nodded, "Thank you Felice, but as you can see I'm alright. Fit and fine. I'll catch up with you later okay?"

"Sure," she smiled her warm smile that could light up the darkest dungeons. She is the greatest friend one could ever hope to find.

"Bye," I said, smiling too, and we resumed walking in opposite directions.

...

I climbed into my bed and huddled myself in a corner, covering myself with a blanket in hope it would warm me up a little. I could tell my temperature had dropped down a degree or two.

I put on my headphones and tried soothing myself with some music, but it wasn't helping at all. I raised my hand to my mouth and bit off my nails, the physician had strictly told me not to do it, but I could not help it right now.

My eyes flicked around everywhere, it felt like the shadows were moving around me, watching me. My heartbeat became erratic. I buried my face in my knees, rubbing my arms.

"Brother?"

No no no, not him again.

"Wille?"

"I know it's not you Erik!" I shouted in my blanket.

"Look at me, Wille," he pleaded.

"I won't. You are dead!" and then I burst into tears.

Was it true? What Felice had told me? Did Simon still think of me - after all I had done? At that moment I prayed and I hoped that it was not true, because I most definitely did not deserve to be the one in his thoughts. I did not deserve his warmth anymore.